Chapter 10 #2
"You were already planning to eat there. Your girlfriend sits at that table."
Tucker shrugs. "Still. This is epic. You’ve never abandoned the table with our teammates for a girl before.”
Rue’s table is near the back, tucked beside the tall windows that overlook the grassy field, and she’s already there when Tucker and I arrive.
Meredith and Mabel sit across from her, their trays pushed aside while they talk.
With amusement, I note that Carlton, Dot, and Zayne are sitting with them.
It’s weird to see them all together, especially after all the drama Little Birdie blasted about them not too long ago, posting about Dot and Zayne liking each other while she was supposed to be Carlton’s girl.
As Tucker and I approach, I half-expect Rue to ignore me, but she doesn’t. She glances over her shoulder at us, and at first she regards me with furrowed brows, but quickly recovers and smiles warmly at me.
My heart aches as I sit next to her, sliding my tray onto the table and stealing one of Tucker’s breadsticks before he can protest.
Tucker throws me a grin and plops down next to Mabel. The rest of the table gets really quiet, and Meredith throws me a look I can’t read. Mabel offers a small wave.
"So," Dot says, clearly trying to keep things light, "how long have you two been a thing, exactly?”
Rue answers before I can. "A little while. We were keeping it quiet."
"And now you’re not?" Mabel asks, smiling.
Rue shrugs. "Little Birdie already spilled it. What’s the point of hiding anymore?"
"Makes sense," Mabel says with a dreamy smile. "You’re cute together."
I laugh. “Thanks.” Throwing an arm around Rue’s shoulder, I stuff some breadstick into my mouth. “I still can’t believe Little Birdie is back to begin with.” Rue stiffens a little under my arm but doesn’t push me away.
“Yeah, me either,” Zayne says, looking lost in thought beside Dot. He whispers something in her ear, and she offers him a reassuring nod.
“I think we should all try to figure out who it is before they can ruin our lives again,” Dot tells everyone, and a unanimous murmur of agreement sounds from around the table.
Rue opens her mouth to say something, but Mabel jumps in first, and the conversation moves on before Rue ever gets the chance.
I don’t miss the way Carlton’s gaze seems to hang onto Dot’s every word, or the way it traces all her movements, even though he’s with Meredith now and Dot is clearly happy to be with Zayne.
Rue tries to speak up again. “Wait, I was going to say—”
“Sorry to interrupt, Rue, but oh my gosh, that reminds me,” Meredith cuts in, and just like that, Rue’s thought disappears into the noise. Meredith leans into Carlton as she talks.
“I think Rue is trying to say something,” I cut in.
Everyone waits, and she finally gets her chance to speak. When she’s done, Rue shifts closer beside me. For a second I think she’s about to say something else, but instead she lightly nudges my shoulder with hers.
A silent thank-you.
I get the message.
I lift my arm around her shoulders like it’s the most natural thing in the world. To everyone else it probably looks like we’re just being affectionate.
But the warmth of her against my side makes my brain completely forget how to function. And then Rue reaches up to play with my hair. The gesture makes my entire body feel unstable. I know she’s only doing it for show. I know this.
But still, the way it’s making me feel is real.
I try to think about something else, anything else, the rest of the day at school, during basketball practice, and driving home.
But when I get to the front door, Olivia blocks me from entering.
She crosses her arms with a sly smile on her face.
Chai Guy is waiting at her side like some sort of guard dog, already baring his teeth in a deadly little snarl because I came too close to her.
“Now what?” I mutter. “Can I please just get through the rest of this day without any more drama?”
She arches an eyebrow. “Meet me in the living room.”
It’s all she says, but it’s all she has to say.
Olivia has her good moments, but she’s also the kind of person who can dig up dirt on someone faster than a shovel can remove a weed from the ground.
I’m usually the victim of her antagonism, which she claims is meant to “toughen me up” so I’m not too sensitive when I’m forced to live in the real world.
I just don’t remember ever signing up for these lessons of hers in the first place.
I practically throw myself at the sofa, smashing my face into a throw pillow. “What is it?” My voice comes out muffled.
“I couldn’t help but notice you’ve weaseled your way onto Little Birdie twice now.”
“Not by choice, believe me.”
“Is any of it true?” she asks. “Are you really dating Rue Sullivan?”
I lift my head to find her watching me with suspicious but genuinely curious eyes. “Why?”
She huffs out a humorless laugh. “Oh, I don’t know. You’d think you’d want to announce something that huge, but it seems like it’s a secret, what with the way you’ve been sneaking around Fallbrook with her.”
“Why would it be a huge deal for me to date Rue Sullivan?”
Olivia gives me a look that tells me to drop the act. “She was your best friend. Come on.”
I scratch the back of my neck. “You were in, like, fourth grade back then. I didn’t think you remembered.”
“Please don’t insult my intelligence.”
“Sorry.”
My sister lets out a long sigh. With her arms still crossed, her fingers tap against her bicep in thought. “What’s really going on? Tell me. Historically, you don’t date people for long, but I can’t imagine you tossing Rue aside in a week like you do the others.”
For once she doesn’t sound antagonistic. Even though it’s rare, this is the tone Olivia only uses when she’s being genuine. I’ve only ever heard her use it with our parents, her best friend Corinne, and occasionally me.
I consider lying to her, but I can’t deny that the weight of my secret with Rue is already starting to weigh on me.
Not only do I hate lying, but I’m also starting to get worried Rue won’t actually forgive me for what I did all those years ago.
This fake relationship with her seems like my only shot, my one chance to fix things before it’s too late forever.
“You can’t tell anyone,” I finally say.
“I won’t.”
“Olivia. I mean it. This is a big deal, and I’ll know it was you if it gets out because no one else knows.”
She nods. “Fine. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”
That’s good enough for me. Unlike most people, Olivia doesn’t hand out promises if she’s not going to keep them.
I unload everything onto her. The argument between Rue and Meredith. The way I stepped in and pretended Rue and I are together. Rue’s reasons for hating me in the first place. How badly I want to fix things, even though I have no idea how.
When I’m done, Olivia chews her lip in thought. “You really do have a golden opportunity to win her friendship back, Ezra. I just hope you don’t mess it up like you do everything else.”
“What do I need to do? Help me. Please.”
She laughs. “You sound desperate.”
“I am.”
She nods like she just discovered the key to everything. “Wow. You really care about her. I’ve never heard you sound like this about any of your other girlfriends.”
I don’t bother to correct her, to remind her Rue isn’t really my girlfriend, no matter how dizzying that fantasy makes me. “That’s because this is Rue,” I say. “I only have until we stage our breakup, and who knows when that will be? Then she’ll never talk to me again.”
My sister rolls her eyes. “Stop being so dramatic. You’d think you’re the one in theater by how you sound. All you need to do is be honest with her. Duh.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Fine. Be stupid, then. But don’t come crying to me when you lose her a second time.” She stands from her seat and marches in the direction of her room.
Fear threatens to swallow me whole at her words. “Wait! Olivia, please. Help me. I don’t even know how to begin being honest with her. So much time has passed.”
She spins to face me. “Why don’t you start by taking her out, alone?
And while you’re laughing and having fun together, invite her over to dinner.
Remind her how much fun she used to have over here.
Start talking about all your memories. Then, when her heart is nice and soft, confess everything to her.
Tell her how dumb you were for not standing up for her back then.
Make sure you stress that you were just stunned and couldn’t think straight, not that you didn’t care. And then tell her you love her.”
My eyes widen. “Love her? I just want her back as my friend.” But even as I say it, I know it’s not true. Maybe it was at first, but I can’t deny my feelings have gotten much more complicated since kissing her.
She lets out the longest sigh I’ve ever heard. “Whatever you say. Now, follow the steps I so graciously laid out for you.”
I sit back, speechless. She makes it seem so simple. But knowing me, I’ll end up saying all the wrong things and making everything worse. I close my eyes and tip my face toward the ceiling. “Can’t you just take over my body and be me so I don’t mess this up?”
“You wish. But this is one problem you’ll have to get out of yourself.” And with that, she heads upstairs to her room.