Chapter 11 #2
The irony isn’t lost on me as I slide my arm across his torso that I just told him I wanted to limit the PDA. But hugging him like this, I feel comfy and warm.
Strange emotions tangle inside my chest. This is so nice. I know it’s not real, but I kinda wish it could be.
But I force the thoughts away. Our little display works perfectly—our classmates move on from staring at us and order their drinks before leaving. And Ezra and I follow suit soon after.
As we walk out of the café, I catch sight of another girl across the street with her phone angled just slightly toward us.
Little Birdie has eyes everywhere. In fact, I’ll probably be seeing the picture she’s taking later in the Little Birdie admin inbox. Which means I’ll have to post it.
Unless I decide to be bold like I’ve been wanting to.
I could post it first.
Turning back to Ezra, I take out my phone and hold it up.
“On second thought, maybe we should take that selfie.” By he and I posting a photo of us as a couple, anything else I say about us as Little Birdie will only be deemed more credible, which is exactly what I need if I’m going to maintain my previously fractured friendships.
“Yeah, sure,” Ezra murmurs. He looks me over for a moment before placing his hands on my waist, pulling my back against his front. All the muscled planes of his chest press into my back, making my heart squeeze.
It takes me way too long to position the camera in front of us to snap a picture.
“That good?” His voice tickles my ear, sweet and sugary from his latte.
“Um…let’s maybe take one more.”
“Okay.” He presses his cheek against mine and—even though it’s out of frame—rubs his thumb gently across my hip.
Something in my stomach does an unexpected somersault at the contact. I quickly take the picture and pull away from him so we’re face-to-face again. “Thanks.”
He nods, throat bobbing as he swallows.
“I’ll send you one to post, and I’ll post the other,” I say.
“Sounds good.”
I don’t say anything else, even though a tiny, minuscule part of me wants to keep talking to him and letting his gaze do funny things to my chest. I walk toward Mom’s car in the parking garage.
This was the plan. Be seen. Play the part. Win my friends back.
But with my heart still fluttering and Ezra’s touch still hot in my memory, a tiny part of me wonders, What if I’m trying to win back more than Meredith’s friendship here? What if, deep down, I kinda want Ezra back in my life, too?
Meredith finds a cute top and holds it against my torso.
We’re standing in the warm glow of the boutique’s golden lights, surrounded by racks of pastel cardigans and the faint scent of vanilla perfume.
And the best part? She grins at me without the souring that’s been in her expression since things first became strained.
It’s just a regular grin, but it’s everything to me.
“This would look pretty on you,” she tells me.
“I can’t tell if you’re just being nice when you tell me things like that. You know, with you and Mabel being models.”
She rolls her green eyes. “Stop. You’re gorgeous, and you need to know it.”
The compliment warms me, no matter how much I struggle to take it to heart. “Thanks.”
Meredith grins. “Speaking of modeling…Mabel and I just got accepted as contestants for a modeling competition over summer that I’m really excited about.
I’ve been wanting to tell you.” She doesn’t need to elaborate, to explain that she wanted to tell me but couldn’t because we weren’t on speaking terms. Meredith launches into the details of the competition—a social media show that recently blew up—excitement etched into every word.
But then her tone sours ever so slightly. “By the way, I’ve heard whispers throughout school about Ezra being kind of a player. I have to admit, I’ve been worried, Rue.”
She’s worried about my relationship? Does she even realize how much of a flirt Carlton is when she’s not around? “Meredith, trust me. You don’t need to worry.” She bites her lip, so I add, “I trust Ezra.”
“Okay. It’s just that…I can imagine what might happen if things end badly between you two. You’d be sad, Rue. And you’d most likely seek the comfort of your friends. All of them.”
I frown. “Do you think I’d go running to Carlton if Ezra and I didn’t last?”
She shrugs, but the little frown on her face stays put. “I don’t know.”
I rest my hands on her shoulders and force her to look at me. “Meredith. I promise you have nothing to worry about with me and Carlton.”
She searches my face. I don’t know what she sees, but her frown finally disappears, and a smile takes its place. “Okay.”
Then she resumes telling me about the modeling competition.
I just smile as she talks, because it feels so good to finally have her believe me.
And maybe being Little Birdie isn’t such a bad thing after all.
This is one of the first times I’ve felt in control of my own life, like I can handle what’s coming my way.
Even though I don’t have a good enough singing voice for the musical I wanted so badly to be in, the most powerful voice in school is now at my disposal.
The only thing I can’t figure out is why it still feels like I swallowed a bundle of dynamite that’s just waiting for the right moment to explode.