Chapter 21
Ezra
It’s hard to focus at basketball practice on Monday because our playoff game is this Friday.
This is the game the college scout will be at, and it’s finally my chance to get that scholarship.
The scholarship that will show me whether I’m really good enough to be captain of this team in the first place, or if I’m only here because of my parents.
No pressure, or anything.
As much as I wish I could take control of the situation, all I can do right now is try to have faith and do well at practice.
Which I’m not.
As I keep sprinting, Coach Dresden shakes his head at me. “You’re in your head again, Davis,” he calls, voice booming across the court. “At least, that’s what I’m suspecting, but I better be wrong.”
He’s not wrong. I’ve pretty much played my worst all practice…
so bad that when Coach blows the whistle signaling it’s over, he gestures for me to come talk to him.
The other guys grab their bags and water bottles before heading out.
I don’t miss the disappointment on some of their faces as they glance at me before leaving.
With a sigh, I make my way over to Coach.
“Is that musical stealing all your stamina, or what?” He points his whistle at me like it’s a weapon.
“You spend all week messing around in the sound booth with the drama kids between practices, then spend your time here looking like a deer on ice skates. I should’ve never let Tori—I mean, Miss Fern—recruit you for that nonsense. ”
Oh, now he thinks it was a waste of time? Whatever was clearly going on between him and Miss Fern must be over now, because he was all for it before. I roll my eyes. “You made me do that nonsense.”
“And I regret it every day. Every day, Davis.”
Despite everything, I laugh. Coach Dresden only gives the people he actually likes a hard time, so this is a huge compliment. “Well, I’m trying my best.”
“Are you? Because your best ain’t gonna happen with your mind elsewhere, kid. You’re good at a lot of things, but clearly not multitasking.”
Yeah. And I’m probably not good enough to be captain either. I can thank Dad’s checkbook for that privilege.
“Look, you’re allowed to like that girl you’ve been hanging with lately. Just maybe don’t choose to obsess over her the exact same week a college scout is coming to evaluate your entire future. That’s all I’m asking.”
I shut my eyes for a second. He’s right. He always is when it comes to how I’m playing, and it’s so irritating.
Coach sighs, lowering the whistle. “Hey.”
I open my eyes.
This is the part only a few players get to see. The real Coach Dresden. The one who actually cares.
“You’re a good captain. You have good instincts, grit, and a work ethic that could wear out a treadmill. Even if that scout had shown up for tonight’s practice instead of playoffs, I think you would be on his list.”
My chest loosens a little. His words should be all the reassurance I’ve been needing, but I still need to find out for myself. I need to see it to believe it.
“You can’t control anybody else,” Coach continues, “but you can control how you show up. And I’m going to need you to show up like the best version of you this Friday.
” He claps me on the shoulder, almost hard enough to knock me over.
“Now go home. Eat real food, not that protein bar nonsense. And you better not let some curly-haired soprano from the drama club ruin your performance at that game.”
“I’m pretty sure Rue’s an alto.”
He glares at me.
Before he can give me grief for that comment, I push open the heavy gym doors.
The chilly March air hits my face hard enough to make me inhale.
The sky is already shifting into a deep blue that makes the streetlights flicker on too early for my liking.
My breath fogs in the air as I cross the parking lot, muscles still trembling from practice.
Coach Dresden’s voice echoes in my head. Show up like the best version of you.
I toss my bag into the back seat and climb in. With the engine still off, I try to block out everything weighing on me—playing my best game, getting the scholarship, and somewhere tangled right in the center of all of it…
Rue.
The girl who has lived in my head rent-free since middle school. Even the number on my jersey makes me think of her.
12. The last age I was before she started thinking of me as her worst enemy instead of her closest friend.
I’m not sure if I chose my number subconsciously because of her or not, but it’s way too hard to believe she had nothing to do with it. These days, it seems like she’s part of everything I do.
The minute I get home, warmth wraps around me like a blanket.
Pots clatter in the kitchen, and the faint hum of Olivia’s music drifts from the living room to the entryway.
I already know how much I’ll miss all these sounds when I go off to college.
Just thinking about it makes me soak it all in even more.
I’m halfway up the stairs when a head pokes out from behind the banister. “Ooooh.” Olivia’s eyes light up like she’s about to narrate my entire life. “He’s back.”
“Hey.”
“You look like you just lost your playoff game, or something. Did Coach Dresden destroy your soul, or what?”
“Yes.”
She snorts. “Good. Builds character. Now come here. We need to talk.” She drags me to the living room by the sleeve of my hoodie.
I drop onto the couch with a groan, leaning my head back. “Liv, I just had a terrible practice. Can you antagonize me tomorrow?”
“Who said anything about antagonizing? I want updates.” She plops next to me with a throw blanket. Chai Guy runs up to her from his fluffy little bed next to the fireplace and curls up in her lap.
“Updates on what?”
She frowns. “Rue, obviously. You know, the girl you’re fake dating but not actually fake dating because you’re in love with her—”
“Liv.”
She rolls her eyes. “Fine. I’ll be normal. How are things going?”
I drag a hand down my face. “I don’t know.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing happened. But my time with her is running out and I don’t know what to do about it. The musical is this weekend, and then our fake relationship is supposed to end.”
Olivia sighs, crossing her arms like talking to me is her daily charity work. “It’s time for you to open up to her. You can’t just assume she already knows how you feel.”
I nod, staring down at my hands. She’s right. As scary as it is, it’s time for me to tell Rue how I feel about her.
She lets the silence settle, then she grins. “Also, just to be clear? She totally likes you back.”
My heart trips over itself. “She does? You think so?”
“Oh, for sure. It’s so obvious.”
“She’s an actress,” I remind her, but Olivia shakes her head.
“No. I can see through that.”
My heart skips at the possibility of Rue actually liking me back the way I like her. It makes my thoughts scramble together in a dizzying sprint until I feel like I might pass out from excitement. It makes me scared to hope too much in case it’s not true.
Olivia sighs. “You really should go shower or something. You smell like gym floor and despair.”
With a laugh, I do as she says. When I’m done, I head downstairs for dinner, where my parents have dinner waiting, and a bunch of dealership spreadsheets fanned out on the table.
There’s something stiff about the way Mom’s shoulders are set.
And Dad rubs his temples as she lets out a sigh.
It’s times like these that reassure me their future isn’t one I want for myself.
As we eat, their dinner conversation drones on about quarterly sales and new hires. Dad’s voice is serious, and Mom nods along, jotting notes.
My phone buzzes in my pocket. For a moment, I brace for a Little Birdie notification. But when I tilt the screen toward me, it’s not a gossip alert.
It’s Rue. Nerves attack my chest. Calm down, Ezra. You don’t have to tell her how you feel right this second.
Rue
made it through my algebra 2 study guide without dying. felt obligated to let you know
I huff out a laugh and text back.
Me
proud of you lol that thing was like 14 pages
My fingers hover over the keyboard. The urge to tell her everything builds inside me like a dam about to burst. But I know I need to wait and plan this out. Something so important shouldn’t be stated over text. No way.
Me
are you excited for the musical this weekend?
Rue
surprisingly, yes. even though it means our time in the booth has come to an end
Me
see, I knew you secretly loved having me up there with you
Rue
it’s not such a big secret
Cheeks burning, I reread her message five times while I finish dinner and head back to my room. It makes something settle deep and warm behind my ribs. Maybe Olivia is right about Rue liking me back. Still, I try to keep my hopes in check in case she’s wrong.
Rue
you’ll do amazing Friday, by the way, and I’ll be there to cheer you on
Me
thanks. it definitely helps having you in my corner
Another long pause. I watch the typing bubbles appear, vanish, and reappear, which sends my heart into full chaos mode.
Rue
I don’t know how much of a corner I am, knowing very little about basketball, but I’m here
Me
you’re a big corner. the best one
Rue
lol
This time the pause is even longer, and I can imagine her heartbeat pounding through the screen like mine is, fluttering like crazy.
Me
goodnight, Sullivan
I set my phone aside and sink deeper into my mattress. The quiet of my room comforts me as it wraps around me.
It seems like Rue actually cares. Like maybe, just maybe she wants me back in her life, and the thing growing between us isn’t just a product of pretending.
There are a whole lot of real feelings under all this fake dating.
At least, for me there are.