10. SYDNEY
10
SYDNEY
“What’s all of this?” Lauren asks, lifting up one of the dresses I’ve pulled from my closet.
“I’m picking out my outfit for Nash’s party.” I flip through my closet until I see something that remotely says Hawaiian or tropical. My options are limited since most of my clothes are back at home.
“We still have two weeks. What’s the rush?” She sits on my bed crossing her legs.
“Koa’s coming over to help me decide my final look. This was the only day he was free.” He gruffly reminded me last night when he dropped me off after my date that his schedule is packed with games as they get closer to the playoffs and if I was serious about having him help me it needed to happen today.
“Why is Koa picking out your outfit? Doesn’t seem like something either one of you would volunteer for.”
“I wouldn’t but he pissed me off. He made a comment about how the outfit I wear to Nash’s party shouldn’t be distracting.”
She gasps. “And he’s still breathing? ”
“For now.” I drop the hot pink bodycon dress on my bed and walk over to my dresser. I dig through the second drawer until I find my bathing suit. “I’m secretly hoping this will give him a heart attack.” I hold out two different bikinis.
I bought them for spring break but I haven’t had the guts to wear them yet. I’m ashamed to admit that Koa’s reaction to me wearing them crossed my mind at least once when I picked them out.
The idea of strutting around Nash’s birthday party in a bikini holds zero appeal. Trying them on in a private show for Koa? There’s something taboo about the idea. I’m off limits, out of bounds. He shouldn’t be alone with me like this. Yet we keep toeing the line between what’s expected of us and this foul territory where there are no limitations.
“He’s going to lose his mind,” Lauren says, holding back her laughter. “You’re evil for torturing him like this.”
I’m not convinced I’m torturing him in the way she thinks I am. I wish I had that kind of control over Koa. “He deserves it. I’m mad. I’m tired of him telling me what to do.”
“Yet, you invite him over here to do exactly that.”
“No, I invited him over here to prove a point. It doesn’t matter what I wear, he'll find something to say about it,” I correct her.
“If you model that for him,” she points to the bathing suits, “he will definitely have something to say. I doubt all of the words will be coherent, but there will be words. Are you prepared for his reaction?”
“I'll tell him to get over it like I usually do.”
“That’s not the reaction I’m talking about. I mean the flip you on to the bed or push you up against a wall type of reaction.”
“That would never happen.” Do I want that? Yes. No. I meant to say no. The answer is no. Oh who am I kidding? A part of me does but I know how it will end. I’ll be left alone once again wondering why I trusted him with my heart. “Even if I manage to turn him on a little, he would never act on it.” The only emotion I’ve been able to pull out of Koa is anger.
“If you say so,” she singsongs. “Is that him? They had an extended practice this morning. He should still be there,” she says, after someone knocks a few times on our door.
I glance at the clock on my nightstand. “I know. He should be at least another ten or twenty minutes.”
“Maybe it’s Charlie. I’ll go check. You can keep prepping for your little show,” she teases and hops off the bed.
“It’s not a show. It’s a punishment.” Even though I doubt Koa will get turned on, the painstakingly long process of trying all the clothes on will annoy him. That brings me an immense amount of joy.
“It’s for you,” Lauren says, ducking her head in my room.
I look over her shoulder and my eyes widen. “What is he doing here?” Out of all people, Joe is standing awkwardly in between our kitchen and living room holding a brown paper bag in his hand.
“He didn’t say,” she whispers before disappearing. “She’ll be right out,” she tells him before entering her bedroom .
I do a quick mirror check. My lack of makeup is a concern, but at least my bangs cover my newest blemish. I’m still wearing my pajama shorts and tank top. I grab the first sweatshirt I see that's oversized enough to cover me up and throw it on over my head.
I’m a little apprehensive as I walk out of my room and close the door. For some reason, I don’t want him to be able to see my personal space. It’s weird enough he’s here at the dorm.
Joe straightens his posture as I enter the room. His eyes trail over my bare feet and legs, finally landing on my face.
“Hey,” I say, walking in his direction. I fumble with the cuffs of the sleeves as they hang over my hands.
“Hi. I’m sorry to show up like this.”
“It’s fine. I’m a little surprised. After last night, I thought…” I shake my head deciding not to finish the thought.
“Last night I messed up. I wasn’t thinking. Koa said he would check on you and take you home and I accepted it. I should have been the one doing that. I’m a day late but I’m checking on you now. I’ve brought breakfast and an apology.”
“Tell me what you have in there and I might consider forgiving you.”
“I got Nash to help me. He said you really loved the chopped smoked salmon bagel from The Round Table,” he says, lifting the brown bag.
I stack our mail and a few books I’ve left covering the small breakfast bar in our kitchen and push the clutter to the side. “Have a seat.” I gesture toward one of the bar stools .
He digs two bagel sandwiches out of the bag while I get us both a glass of water.
“Your brother knows you well,” he says, watching me savor the first bite of the delicious bagel.
“He does. But you didn’t come over here to talk about my brother.”
“I didn’t. I handled everything wrong last night. I’m really sorry. When Nash explained why you were so upset, I realized I should have done more. You were joking about the incident from your childhood. If I had known how hurt it made you, I would have told them to cut it out.”
“I appreciate it. To be honest, I didn’t expect to panic like that either. It kind of came out of nowhere.” I probably wouldn’t have if Koa wasn’t there. He is the catalyst for most of my emotions.
“Are you doing okay now?” He wipes the corner of his mouth with a napkin and crumples it in his hand.
“I am much better. I don’t think I’ll be going bowling for a while, but I’m good. I’m sorry for leaving the way I did. I was embarrassed.”
“I understand but your gutter ball was long forgotten when Trevor got a little overzealous and threw the ball so hard he slipped and fell flat on his back.”
“He didn’t?” I gasp.
“Oh he did. I think Julia has it on video. I’ll ask her to send it to you.”
“Poor guy. But also, please do,” I say, making him laugh. When I take a bite of my bagel, too much tears off forcing me to lean forward to avoid a mess. I attempt to gracefully chew the oversized bite.
“I will.” He glances at me. “You have…” He points to my face. I wipe at the cream cheese or whatever it is on my face with my finger. “Let me,” he offers when I miss it.
His thumb tenderly grazes the corner of my mouth. My eyes stay locked on him and the way he stares at my lips. He lifts his eyes to mine before dropping back to my mouth.
“What did I tell you about locking the door?” Koa scolds, barging into the dorm without knocking and startling me.
“Got it,” Joe says, ignoring Koa’s presence.
“What’s going on here?” Koa asks, his eyes bouncing between me and Joe.
“I brought Sydney breakfast. What are you doing here?” Joe counters. “I didn’t realize you two were the type of friends who had an open door policy.” His tone is laced with irritation.
“We aren’t,” I say.
“I don’t know about that. Not too long ago you let yourself in my house and were waiting for me to get home,” Koa says.
“That is not what I was doing and you know it,” I seethe. Koa smirks and that angers me further. “Besides the fact that he lives with my brother, my roommate is dating Hart,” I explain to Joe. “I was there with Lauren helping her make dinner.”
“You helped? If that’s the case, why didn’t the house catch fire? She struggles making toast. Good thing you decided to order in this morning.” Koa reaches across the counter and tears a piece of my bagel in half and stuffs it in his mouth. “This is good,” he says, licking his thumb.
“Room. Now,” I demand. I am beyond livid with him. He’s trying to make me look bad. I wish I knew why. “I’ll be in there when I’m done.” I glare at him.
I expect him to be mad that I’ve sent him away. Instead, he smiles and slips off his shoes. “I’ll go make myself comfortable. Enjoy the rest of your breakfast.”
A growl works itself up in my throat but I swallow it back down. He makes me want to scream.
“Maybe I should go.” Joe begins to pack up the rest of his breakfast. He releases a frustrated breath. “Is there something going on with you and Mahina? I like you, Sydney, but I don’t play games.”
“I don’t either. There isn’t anything. He’s only here to help me plan Nash’s birthday party.”
“Oh. I didn’t know he was having a party.” He stands from his seat. I take the trash from him and toss it in the kitchen trash can.
“It’s kind of last minute. You’ll come, right?” I don’t know if I’m inviting him for me or because I know Nash would have put him on the list anyway. “It’s going to be a luau theme. I can text you all the details.”
“Wyatt is going to enjoy dressing up.”
I walk him toward the door. “I’m sure he already has a coconut bra and grass skirt somewhere ready for the occasion. ”
He chuckles. “Probably. Yeah, I’ll be there. What are the odds you’ll be wearing a coconut bra?” he jokes.
“Slim to none I’m afraid.”
“Whatever you wear, you’ll look beautiful.”
“That’s sweet. Thank you. And thanks for breakfast, too, even though Koa ruined it.”
“That’s my fault. I should have called first.”
“Well, it was a nice surprise.” I open the front door.
Joe moves to step outside but stops and kisses my cheek first. “I’ll text you later.”
“Sounds good.” I close the door and lock it this time. Leaning against the front door, I take a moment to get my head on straight before I deal with Koa.
Joe is a nice guy. Koa shouldn’t have made it look like something is going on between the two of us when he’s made it clear he’s not interested. I push off the door, determined to put Koa in his place.
“You have some nerve,” I say as I open my bedroom door. Those are the only words I’m able to speak before I lose my ability to think straight.
Koa has pushed all my clothes to one side of my full size bed and stretched his mammoth body out on the other side. He has one hand tucked under his head and the other rests on his lower abs where his shirt has risen up exposing enough skin to have me salivating like a Saint Bernard.
Damn him for being so attractive. He’s only gotten better looking over the years. His once round face has become more square and defined. His bronze skin gets covered in more ink every year which highlights his defined muscles.
It’s just rude. All of him is just fucking rude.
“Why are you trying to ruin my relationship with Joe?”
“You need to water your plants,” he says, ignoring my question. I glance at my bookshelf and assess the health of my plants. I hate that he’s right. The one he bought me is on the brink of death. How ironic?
“I asked you a question. Why are you sabotaging my dates all of a sudden? Last night and now this morning.”
“I didn’t do anything. I came over at our agreed upon time. You should be saying sorry to me. You double booked yourself. That wasn’t very thoughtful,” he says with an undertone of sadness. I can tell he’s faking by the way the muscles in his jaw ticks.
“That isn’t what happened. He just showed up. He wanted to apologize for last night.”
“That’s the least he should have done,” he mumbles with his eyes still closed.
“Can we get this over with please? I’m sure we both have better things to do. You clearly need a nap.” I reach over his legs and grab a small sample of the clothes I’ve pulled out of my closet. I tap the top of his thigh. “Scoot over. What?” I ask when I notice him staring at me.
He sits and swings his legs to the floor. “This is what you wore in front of him,” he says, lifting the hem of my sweatshirt and exposing my sleep shorts.
I swat his hand away. “You know I did. What do you think of this dress?” I ask, holding up a flowy halter top dress.
“You look like you aren’t wearing any shorts underneath the sweatshirt.”
“Why does that matter?” I walk across the room and hang the dress back up in my closet. “I know I’m covered up. It’s no different than wearing a dress. What I wear is really no one else’s business.”
I hold up another dress. It’s even shorter than the last one. Koa shakes his head and I put it to the side.
“It matters because it gives people ideas. It makes them wonder if you’re wearing shorts, underwear, or nothing,” he says, staring at my bare legs.
“That sounds like a personal problem.”
“It definitely is,” he mutters.
Is he suggesting it’s a personal problem for him? Or is he agreeing with me that it’s a problem for whoever is looking?
I pull my arms through the sleeves of my sweatshirt and lift it over my head. “There. Now you won’t have to wonder what I’m wearing.”
His gaze roams over my bare arms, shoulders, and chest, leaving a trail of heat behind. My breathing deepens causing my breasts to rise and fall, attracting even more of his attention. My nipples pebble as the atmosphere in the room shifts.
Koa curses and scrubs a hand over his face. “This isn’t any better. Can you put something else on?” His eyes meet mine. “Please. ”
Letting out a sigh, I search through the clothes some more. “I’ll try on one of these. I can’t promise you’ll like them either.”
“Can’t get worse.”
“No? Not even this?” I hold up one of the bikinis I haven’t had the nerve to wear.
“Cute.”
Cute isn’t exactly the response I was hoping for. I don’t expect Koa to suddenly have a change of heart about me, but a small sign that the fierce attraction I felt for him years ago was never one-sided would be nice. I feel like he was able to get over me in one night. He got what he wanted and he was done.
Turning to my mirror, I tie the bikini top around my neck over my tank top, keeping a watchful eye on Koa in the reflection. His nostrils flare and his fingers dig into his knees. I hold up the bikini bottoms and twist side to side.
“You’re right. This would be really cute. I could get a cute little sarong to wrap around my waist.” I remove the bikini top and clutch the suit in one hand. “Thanks for your help. This was easier than I thought it was going to be.”
“Wear that to the party at your own risk,” he says, clenching his jaw.
“Don’t mind if I do. It’s not like I’d be the only person dressed like this anyway. People need to learn how to control themselves.”
Koa reacts so fast I don’t even realize he’s grabbed me and I’ve moved until I’m standing in between his legs. His large hands smother my hips as he gives them a gentle squeeze. “I have spent years being in control. I could teach a master class on it. Especially when it comes to being in the same room as you.”
He leans closer to my face, stealing my breath. My clit starts to tingle and pulse as he draws me into his web. I’m pretty sure it’s sending Morse code to my brain. S.O.S. Mayday. Mayday. Abort. Abort.
“Don’t push me Sydney. I’m not sure you can handle the consequences.”
“What are the consequences?” My question is barely a whisper. It floats through the short distance between us.
His face remains emotionless but his body hums with power. I've seen Koa like this once before. It ended with him gifting me my first man made orgasm and the best sexual experience I've ever had still to this day.
“Something that you won’t be able to stop once it gets started.”
Why is he speaking to me in riddles? What does that mean?
He begins to stand, pushing me out of his way as he goes. The air once again shifts in the room. Suddenly it’s a lot cooler than before.
He sifts through the pile of clothes on the bed, until he finds the piece of clothing he’s looking for. Folding it neatly, he passes it to me. “Wear this one. You always smile more when you have it on.” He pauses. His lips twitch as if there’s more he wants to say .
“I’ll keep that under consideration. Let me know the headcount when you have it. I need to know how much food to order.”
He nods and then silently walks out the door.
My fingers trace over the bright floral pattern on my favorite dress. I don’t put a ton of thought into the clothes I buy. If the clothes are designed with bright colors or patterns and made with comfortable fabric, I usually buy them.
This dress is like a cape of confidence. It’s the one that makes me feel most like myself when I wear it. It speaks to my hippie soul I don’t let a lot of people see.
But he still does.