7. Chapter 7
Chapter 7
Maisie
I'd quite honestly never seen a man look so terrified. I could see it written all over his face, along with a fiercely heated gaze. There was a story here I could tell.
"Mack, what's wrong?" I asked him gently.
He looked so conflicted, he began pacing across the tiny room. I mean you could hardly fit a bed in here so his pacing was literally two strides before he had to turn back the other way. His hands were moving frantically in his hair, moving down to rub at his face aggressively.
He looked like he was on the verge of a panic attack, I hated that I'd made this big gentle giant feel so out of control.
I stepped closer to him, approaching him with my hands up as if cornering an injured animal.
I repeated my question as I reached out and squeezed him gently on the forearm.
"What's wrong sweet man?"
He looked up into my eyes then, vulnerability, fear, embarrassment, shame all stared back at me.
"You're going to laugh at me …" he said barely above a whisper, it caused my heart to pang in my chest.
"Baby, I'd never laugh at you. You can tell me anything. I know we haven't known each other long but I have not stopped thinking about you since that night in Afterglow all those weeks ago. I went back you know, every week since. Hoping you'd be there."
"You did?" he questioned. I wanted to make him feel comfortable, if that meant being vulnerable with him too then that's what I'd do.
I pulled him by the hand, over to the wall before sliding down and taking a seat on the plush carpet. I pulled him down next to me, anything to stop his pacing. We sat right next to each other, not an inch of space between us. I held his hand tightly in mine again, my other hand resting across his wrist. I could feel his pulse thrumming beneath his skin.
"I did … you know, I've spent a lot of my life searching for something. I've never known what it was. I've also spent a lot of time in that club, losing myself in the music, the booze, the men. Nothing ever seemed to work, nothing ever seemed to take my mind off of my mundane life. Until you … you took my focus that night, and every night since. I just didn't know how to find you."
His gaze was locked on his lap, seemingly at war with himself before he blurted out the very last thing I would have ever expected to hear.
"I haven't done anything like this before. I …. I missed out on all the usual teenage experiences because I was relentlessly bullied from the age of fourteen. The age where I should have been beginning to explore girls and friends, I was at home, locked away. I was bullied so badly that when I was fifteen I …. I tried t-to. I tried to kill myself Maisie. I couldn't take it anymore, the physical and emotional torture that those kids put me through everyday made me want to die. It went on for a very long time, the pain, the hopelessness. My mum saved me, she saved my life and she saved my soul. I was home schooled after that. I hadn't left the house alone in years. I missed out on it all. All the stuff I was supposed to learn and experience as a teenage boy, I didn't … I still haven't."
I sat in silence, watching this beautiful man bare his soul to me, inside I was completely dumbstruck. Never in my wildest dreams could I imagine this man being bullied. I mean, he was ginormous, not just in height but everything about him was massive. His exterior didn't fit the interior. It didn't match and I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing. I listened and I took in every word he said, rolling it around in my tiny brain and trying to make sense of it.
He was being so brave and vulnerable with me, it brought tears to my eyes. How could anybody treat this kind and gentle man with such cruelty.
I couldn't hold myself back as I crawled into his lap and buried my face in his neck.
"I'm so sorry Mack, I'm so sorry that people have treated you so cruelly." I snuggled closer into his neck, he was sat frozen beneath me for what seemed like forever before he finally gave a huge sigh of relief and relaxed beneath me. I could feel his hard length beneath me, pressing tightly against my core. Now wasn't the time to acknowledge it though. I damn well looked forward to that day though, I wonder if he's as huge down there as the rest of him.
I peppered gentle kisses down the side of his neck, bringing my hands up to hold his nape when something instantly stopped me and my heart sank into my arse. He physically recoiled on contact. On the back of his neck were scars, small, round, thick scars. I could instantly recognise what they were and I instantly hated the person who had inflicted them upon him.
Tears fell silently down my cheeks as I held on to this beautiful man, his huge arms came around me then as he held me close. We sat like that for a very long time, finding solace in each others arms. Holding each other close and trying to mend all our broken parts.
I didn't ask him about those scars, he'd already bared enough to me for one evening.
After our hearts and minds had settled and Mack had relaxed into my hold, I lifted my head and looked deeply into those pained eyes .
"Mack?" I whispered. Our faces inches apart, I could feel his warm breath against my cheek.
"Hmm?" He was exhausted, letting out a small part of his trauma had tired him as he sagged against me.
"Have you ever been kissed baby?"
He lifted those soulful blue eyes to mine, I could see the pain and shame in them. His eyes flicked between mine, searching for something before he slowly hung his head and gave it a tiny shake. Telling me no … this beautiful man had never been kissed.
My heart fluttered in my chest as I soaked in his pain and made it mine. He was so ashamed of himself and I couldn't bear to see it anymore, his traumas and experiences were not his fault and he shouldn't be made to suffer with them still.
I placed a finger under his chin and brought his gaze up to mine, I didn't give him a single second to hesitate as I slowly leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. He sucked in a shocked breath as our lips touched before instantly melting and pulling me closer. His lips were soft and warm, pillowy beneath mine as we began to move our mouths. Melding them together with passion and respect.
Fireworks, that's what this kiss felt like. Goosebumps spread across my flesh, my heart pounded in my chest and butterflies swarmed inside my tummy. His touch was electric, sparking something deep inside that had never been ignited before.
I deepened the kiss, licking at his lips softly before he opened up and let me in. Our tongues touched and tangled, slowly, passionately. He was taking from me what he'd never experienced before. Our breathing turned ragged as we kissed and touched. I wasn't going to take it any further, he deserved more respect from me than that.
His huge hands were wrapped softly around my hips as he pulled me down tightly against him, not a breath between us. The kiss began to slow, our lips swollen and our lungs heaving for air. We pulled apart, resting our foreheads together, eyes closed, soaking in this feeling between us .
His hands now on my face, he lifted his gaze to mine, pressing one final soft kiss on my lips before saying, barely above a whisper ….. "Thank you little flame."