14. Chapter 14
Chapter 14
Mack
I left Maisie at the house with Grace while me and the guys went round to Maisie's flat to try and make sense of what had happened. She had been completely distraught when she turned up at the house last night and my very first instinct had been to wrap her in my arms and keep her safe.
Now, I know that many people would think that we were moving a little quickly, but I was starting to feel things that I'd never felt before. Granted, I'd never garnered any attention from girls before, the girls in school were cruel bitches. But this felt different, it wasn't just because she was the first to pay me any attention. It was something different, it was her. Now, I wouldn't say that I was already in love, it was too soon for that but I had such a genuine affection for her. I could love this woman endlessly and I had a feeling that's where this was heading.
I had a feeling she had a heap of skeletons in her closet too and I was determined to unearth them and learn every single detail about her. She had this sadness inside of her that she hid beneath a layer of sass. I think the sass was natural for her too and I was determined to make it come out in a more genuine way. I didn't like the thought of her feeling like she had to mask the true her, the thoughts and feelings she held back from the world. I wanted every version of her, the good and the bad, the sassy and the sad, the flirty and the free. It was inevitable that a woman like her would eventually tire and grow bored of a guy like me, but that just meant I had to soak this experience into my pores and let it settle that longing need deep inside of me.
The ride over in Hugh's truck had been a quiet one, I think Hugh was still distraught over the near ball licking situation, he just kept looking at Ace and shaking his head. Ace on the other hand was completely oblivious as usual as he sat in the back seat munching his way through a bag of chocolate minstrels and humming God knows what. The closer we got to the flat, the more the churning in my stomach kicked up. I'd only been inside Maisie's flat once, but I'd picked up on the fact that it had been her sanctuary. There had been dozens and dozens of photographs all over the walls, some of just her parents and some of her with them when she was a little girl. She hadn't told me so, but I don't think her parents were around anymore.
She had also sent me a picture of her locket, her mother's silver locket. She said that if I was able to save anything then it was to be that. Out of all her possessions that was the one and only thing she couldn't live without. The pressure was on to find that locket, I'd do whatever it took to return it to her.
Hugh pulled up outside and we all exited the car, arms laden down with black bags and cleaning products. I didn't want Maisie to have to come home and sort this out, I'd clean up every single inch of this place, even if it took me all day to do so. Luckily, we had the rest of the week off college so it wasn't as if the guys had anywhere else to be.
I'm glad that we had left Maisie with Grace when we pushed open the front door and took in the absolute destruction of the place. Holy shit, I'd never seen anything like it. From our standpoint at the front door, I literally couldn't see one thing that hadn't been destroyed. Books had been thrown from the bookcase and pages littered the floor, all of the photographs had been smashed and ripped, something had been splattered all over the sofa and carpet. We all stood in absolute shock as we took in the carnage.
"Jesus," Hugh rubbed a hand on the back of his neck and lowered his head.
"It's all gone isn't it?," Ace asked in the softest voice I'd ever heard leave his mouth.
I had no words, I was completely speechless. Who would do this?
Hugh stepped closer and threw an arm over my shoulder, "Come on mate, let's get this place cleaned up for your girl and see what we can save."
I'd shown Ace and Hugh the photo of the locket before we all set off in different directions and started to clear through the mess. The flat was tiny and we were all technically in the same room but when every inch is littered with someone's lifelong belongings, it seemed like the biggest room I'd ever been in.
Hugh was in the kitchen using a brush to knock all of the broken china onto the floor ready to be swept away.
Ace was in the bathroom attempting to scrub toothpaste from the walls. There were literal handprints dotted over all of the surfaces, in different lotions and potions. Maisie had been adamant that she didn't want the police involved, she was so terrified that they would take whatever was left as evidence and she'd never see it again. I'd tried to persuade her before we left, but she pleaded with me to let her have this. I wanted the fucker to be caught and punished, but I wouldn't go back on my promise to Maisie.
I also wasn't willing to let it go, I'd find out who did this one way or another. I'd never been a confrontational kind of guy but this situation sent a blaze of anger through my entire body. I'd make this right if it was the last thing I did.
While the guys were scrubbing and sweeping, I set off to collect every single photograph scrap I could find. I didn't want to miss one single edge or corner. Technology was amazing these days and I was determined to find some genius who could restore them and print her new ones.
Each destroyed photo I collected showed Maisie through the years up to around ten I would guess. She was the tiniest little red head, with a pale face, bright blue eyes and freckles across her cheeks. She hadn't changed at all, she was just a bigger version of that tiny, sweet girl. The pain I felt for her was overwhelming, with every photo brought the realisation that she was completely alone in this world. She didn't speak of friends and there were certainly no photos around of anybody.
We spent hours sifting through every broken piece, piles of black bags lined the wall by the front door. Broken furniture had been piled next to them ready to be taken to the recycling centre. The only place that hadn't been touched was under Maisie's bed, we found sealed plastic boxes filled with what looked like paperwork. We had just sat down for a breather when a knock sounded at the door. We weren't expecting anyone, nobody knew we were here.
Ace pulled open the door to find Jax on the other side,
"The girls told me where you were, thought you could use a hand?" Jax was a good man, he'd not long turned eighteen but he had his head screwed on. He was a sweet guy and I'd grown to like him a lot.
"Also thought you might be hungry. Grace sent me over with some lunch." Grace had also quickly become one of my favourite people too. She was so effortlessly selfless. One of the sweetest humans I'd ever had the pleasure to meet. I'd spent my life surrounded by selfish, cruel idiots and now it seemed that I was hitting the friend jackpot time and time again.
I'd gone from being completely isolated to having a small group of people who looked out for each other as if they were family. It sure felt like I'd found a family anyway.
Ace dragged Jax into his arms and held him tightly for a long minute, whispering something in his ear that made Jax nod and kiss his brother on the cheek. It was unspoken, but I knew those boys had experienced trauma in their lives. It seemed I'd managed to find myself a group of people who had all suffered from something in their lives and that's what brought us together. An unspoken understanding that we all just needed a friend.
We sat around chatting as we ate our sandwiches and drank the cans of drink Grace had sent over.
"So … what's going on with you and Maisie then?" Hugh asked, "You both seem to have really hit it off."
I swallowed a bite of my sandwich and cleared my throat before telling him,
"She's amazing guys, she's so special and sweet. But with this sexy, sassy side too. Do you know what I mean? It's like … when we're together I don't see anyone else. The panic is silenced, the worry that I carry around is lifted off my shoulders. It's like she gives me a strength that I've never felt before. Like I've finally woken up from a long sleep and can breathe again," I paused and took a breath realising that I probably sounded completely cheesy. "That was terrible wasn't it?" I huffed an embarrassed laugh.
Ace was the first to speak up,
"Mate it's not terrible, I think it's great. When we first met you, you had this haunted look in your eyes. You were so completely terrified and she settles you. We've noticed you know, you seem lighter, like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. I know I don't take life too seriously and you all think I'm a total twat most of the time but I'm much more observant than you think I am." I'd never seen Ace be serious, not like this. "She brings you peace, and I'm pretty sure you bring her peace too." He trailed off. I sure hoped I brought her peace.
"He's right you know, that first day we saw you in that hallway you were on the verge of a panic attack just by standing in a college hallway. We don't know the full story behind it of course but I believe that you're completely justified in those feelings. Over the last couple of months you've turned into a different guy, you're stronger, more confident and you might just have found the second half of yourself."
I don't think guys normally spoke like this, I didn't know for sure obviously having never had guy friends before but this seemed different. We had built a friendship that I hoped would last forever. "It isn't just Maisie that's helped me guys, if you hadn't found me that first day then I wouldn't have gone back the next. If someone had told me eight weeks ago that I would have moved out of my parents house, found a good group of friends and met the perfect girl, I would have told them to keep dreaming. Things like this don't happen to a guy like me, good things I mean …." I trailed off, caught up in memories of the past before looking around at them all and seeing only care and compassion in their eyes.
That's what gave me the courage to open up and tell them everything. I told them about the years of bullying and abuse, I told them about the physical and emotional scars left on me, I told them about my suicide attempt and how my Mum saved me. They all sat in silence, watching me closely and listening to every single word that left my mouth. Ace seemed to move closer and closer every few minutes until he was sat right next to me with an arm around my shoulder. I hadn't realised I was crying until Hugh pushed a tissue into my hand and sat the other side of me.
It felt like a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders by telling these guys my story. I did feel lighter, they were right. I explained to them how I'd been so isolated the past few years, hardly ever leaving the house and exercising to the point of physical pain in the attempt to make myself feel bigger and stronger. Not just the lanky guy from high school.
When I'd eventually finished my story and my tears had dried, Hugh spoke up.
"So … does that mean that this thing with Maisie is completely new to you? Like the whole being around a woman thing?" I knew what he was asking. He was asking it in the most sensitive way possible but I was still terrified of telling them the truth. I didn't want to be the laughing stock. Twenty two year old guy who had never been kissed. The turmoil swirled in my stomach, the panic threatening to take over before I remembered where I was and who I was with. These guys wouldn't laugh at me. I looked to my left and made eye contact with Hugh, he could see the hesitance in my eyes. Giving me a small nod and squeeze of my shoulder, giving me the silent reassurance I needed to tell them the truth.
"Maisie was my first kiss …" I spoke so quietly it was surprising they'd even heard me.
"So … you haven't? You know?" Ace spoke up.
I just gave him a small shake, my head bowed and my shoulders up to my ears, waiting for the wise crack. It didn't come, I should have known it wouldn't.
"God, what I'd do to experience that for the very first time again, you are a very lucky man Mackie boy, I'm jealous." Ace told me without a hint of untruth in his voice.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"Oh God yeah, you have all of that to look forward to. Have you done … anything? You know?"
This man was very inquisitive, hold that, he was damn right nosy! But I needed to talk about this, I had zero experience and I knew that I could talk to them about anything.
"Well … last time I was here was yesterday morning. Maisie … erm … she and I … we …." Ace huffed a laugh before rustling my hair like a kid.
"You what?"
"You're gonna make me say it aren't you?" my cheeks were burning but I couldn't help but laugh through the embarrassment.
"Oh yes … the first stage is getting over the embarrassment of it mate. Come on … give us the deets."
I rubbed a hand on the back of my neck, instantly feeling the cigarette burns that were littered there. If I could survive that, I could survive this. I took a breath, huffed a laugh and spilled …
"She went down on me. The last thing Maisie's dining set was used for was for me to lay her back on, when I touched her."
Silence.
"Jesus, that's fucking hot," that was Jax. I didn't know how experienced he was but mentally I think we were probably around the same age.
"And how was it?" this guy. Ace was like the small town gossip.
"It was …. phenomenal. And when she went down on me … Jeez I could have died and gone to heaven a happy man."
Ace jumped up from the floor and fist pumped the air.
"Yes mate! Dude got his dick sucked!"
Jesus.
"Anytime you want to borrow the nosh wagon you just ask mate, sharing is caring."
"Nosh wag …. "
Hugh placed a hand on my forearm and with a shake of his head told me, "Do not finish that question and do not take him up on his offer … ever."
Jax was in hysterics at his older brothers expense.
"What? … I clean it!"
"Right, that's enough of that. Come on fellas, back to work," Hugh was up on his feet and pulling me with him to the other side of the room. Ace's protests followed us but he was ignored.
"I'm happy for you mate." Hugh slapped a hand to my shoulder and gave a stoic nod. I returned his nod with one of my own before going back to clearing up and searching for anything that may have survived the chaos.
And I knew in that moment that both Maisie and I would be okay, even if I returned empty handed, we had each other. We had both been through destruction and loss, we'd both weathered the storm alone and come out the other side. This time, we would survive the chaos together.