Chapter 33
GIANNA
My sisters noticed something was different when I returned from the restroom, because it was and of course they did. But luckily, they didn’t let on until we were back in our apartment and the door was firmly shut on Matteo and the rest of the guards.
There’s always a cold that follows being separated from him.
Like when he goes home for the night, or he’s at the other side of the door.
It’s even more pronounced tonight and I wrap one of the throw blankets around my shoulders as I sit down on the sofa, looking out at the night sky, looking for at least one star.
But the smog and the city lights are proving too much for starlight to beat tonight.
“Come on, out with it,” Chiara insists. “What did you and Matteo do in that bathroom?”
I should probably just say, “Nothing,” and insist on that. It would be best for everyone concerned.
But my cheeks heat up and the soft yet searing emotions rising in my chest at the memory prove impossible for logic to fight.
“We kissed,” I say. “We’ve been doing a lot of that lately.”
Lidia gasps so loudly I’m sure my parents in the adjacent apartment could hear her. And Chiara has a look of shock mixed with something that looks a lot like anger plastered on her face.
“Define a lot,” Chiara says. “And lately. Why are we just hearing about this?”
Not every part of my life should be her concern. But I understand. We’ve always shared everything, kept no secrets, confided in each other in all things. Because each other was all we ever had.
“Three times,” I say. “Once while I was taking out the trash, and he came to my room once.”
“He came to your room?” Lidia asks, aghast.
“It’s why I didn’t want to tell you,” I say. “Better you don’t know anything about this, because who knows what dad will do if he finds out. Probably disown me.”
“And you didn’t trust us to keep this secret?” Chiara asks. She sounds very offended.
“It’s not that… it’s just that…”
“You didn’t want us to follow in your footsteps,” Lidia supplies the words I couldn’t find. She’s always been the brightest of us all.
I shrug and nod. “You two are my little sisters. I have to protect you.”
Chiara scoffs and Lidia sighs, but at least she looks like she sort of understands where I’m coming from.
“We’re like a year younger than you,” Chiara says. “And I swear, I’m so much more mature than you in so many ways. For example, I’ve kissed a guy before.”
Now it’s my turn to gasp.
“What? When?” Lidia asks, taking the words right out of my mouth. At least it wasn’t just me in the dark about this.
Chiara shakes her head. “It just happened. Doesn’t matter when or with who. We’re talking about Gianna now.”
A part of me thinks she might be lying, a part of me is happy for her that she got to experience the magic of a kiss, which I’ve been drowning in the last few days, and a part of me just wishes I was doing more kissing now instead of having this awkward conversation.
“There’s not much else to tell,” I say. “I like him, I like how he makes me feel and seeing as I’m probably never getting married, I think I’m due some love, don’t you?”
As always, when anyone so much as hints at the curse hanging over me, the room turns icy quiet.
“You better get to it fast, before the curse gets him,” Chiara says and I have no idea why she’s being so belligerent about all this.
“Don’t be mean,” Lidia says quietly and earns herself a dark look from our sister.
But then tears start flowing down Chiara’s face. She does nothing to stop them or wipe them away.
“I’m sorry,” she says, looking at me with very wet eyes.
“I don’t know what’s with me today. Sometimes it just gets to be too much.
The way we’ll never have love the way we want it.
The way we’re just at the mercy of our father and this stupid curse that I don’t even think is real.
It’s bad enough that we can’t choose our own husbands, but to have this gossip that we’re murder to anyone who gets engaged to us… ”
She pauses to finally wipe away her tears, leaving black streaks of mascara under her bright green eyes. Even though she’s crying, it makes her look fierce.
“I’m happy for you,” she says to me. “Happy that you found love. Make sure he takes you far away from here and enjoy it all for the three of us. Should I help you pack now?”
“We’re not that far yet,” I say and laugh.
They both laugh with me and I’m glad the tension has lessened.
I’m also glad that I got the blessing I needed from my sisters.
The blessing for the promise I made to follow my heart wherever it leads, even if that path lies away from family, duty, and honor. Even if it leads away from my sisters.
“We’ll find love for you guys too,” I say. “Maybe the curse isn’t such a bad thing. I’m actually thinking it might be protecting us from marrying someone we don’t love. And eventually, even Dad will have to concede that he can’t wed us off. Then you’ll be free to do what you want.”
Lidia blushes and Chiara just smiles, wiping the last of her tears away. “I hope you’re right and it happens that way, I really do. Now tell us everything about Matteo. Leave nothing out.”
And I do, talking so long and in such details that hours pass like minutes.
He might be waiting outside so he can come and visit me.
But this is more important. Because after I let him whisk me away, who knows how many chats with my sisters I’ll be able to have.
Definitely not many since we’ll be in hiding.
And despite the whole conversation we’ve just had, family means a lot to me.