Chapter 15
A cold sensation is sinking through my body now. —Noah Hardaway
“So, you two are dating?” Gabe raises an eyebrow from where he’s perched on a park bench in the town square.
The same bench, actually, where I first poured my heart out to Milo.
Now here the two of us are, declaring our maybe-trying-to-date-against-all-odds status to our boss.
Well, my boss. Milo’s kind of boss? Given that Milo basically came to Devon Falls as a favor to Gabe, I’m not entirely sure how their arrangement works.
“We’re testing the waters,” Milo says easily as he takes my hand.
The last few days with Milo, ever since we made the choice to try being together like this, have felt almost otherworldly—even though they’ve been deeply normal days from any outside perspective.
We eat breakfast together. He slyly flirts with me at the center when no one’s looking.
We take the dog for walks in the evening, and we pad with her along the riverbank, talking about everything and nothing.
We’ve been sleeping together in my bed. I still haven’t worked up the nerve to show my whole body to Milo, but we’ve been doing a whole lot of cuddling and kissing, and there may have been a little over-the-clothes hand action last night.
This morning I woke up asking myself the same question I’ve been asking myself for two mornings now: can real life be this good?
Milo was the one who suggested we tell Gabe what’s going on. “I don’t want to put anything about your job at risk,” he said to me over dinner last night. “You clearly enjoy working here, and there’s no reason we can’t be honest with our HR department. Our HR department being Gabe, of course.”
I’d also been wondering if we should say something, so I agreed pretty easily. Standing here now, I hope neither of us have miscalculated. What if Gabe gets upset and fires me? What if he sends me away from Devon Falls? What if he—
“I think that’s great.” Gabe stands up from the bench and grins.
“Tom and Colin and I all thought there was some chemistry between you two. But we weren’t sure anything ever could happen, given your parents’ situation.
” He must notice my wince, because he only hesitates for a moment before he asks the question I figured was coming.
“Are you going to tell the two of them?”
Milo looks over at me and frowns. This is the one source of some contention between the two of us. He thinks we should say something. He thinks Uncle Stan and his mom will be surprised but supportive, and they can help us deal with the larger issues at play if Stan decides to run.
But I’m the holdout.
Ezra said Uncle Stan was going to decide soon if he was planning to run. If he does, then maybe we’ll have to say something to him and Milo’s mother. But…
“We’re waiting,” Milo says to Gabe. “Noah’s worried if he does say something now, it might influence his dad’s decision about whether or not he wants to enter the race.”
“Ah.” Gabe nods. “You think it would?”
“I don’t know,” I tell him honestly. I shrug. “The thing is, if my dad thought it would make my life easier and make me happier if he didn’t run, that’s probably what he’d do. But I’d never want him to make that call just for me, you know? He’s given up enough for me already.”
Gabe and Milo share a quick glance between them, but I can’t read it. “I guess,” Gabe says. It’s pretty clear they don’t exactly agree with me. I know Milo doesn’t.
“Your dad wants you to have the life you want,” he told me last night. “It’s pretty clear how much he loves you. You’re not a hardship in his life, Noah.”
I like to think he’s right about that. But I also know Milo hasn’t been there to see all the years Uncle Stan’s had to rescue me, take care of me, and be the sole person I could rely on.
Now that I have finally left the nest, doesn’t he deserve to run his own life without me still influencing every one of his decisions?
“If he decides to run, we’ll figure out what to do,” I say now, hopefully reminding Milo of the deal we made last night. “And if he doesn’t, then…”
Milo and I glance at each other again. “We keep testing the waters,” he says softly.
He’s got his eyes locked on me, his expression light and somehow deeply intense all at the same time.
When he looks at me like this, I have to remind myself that all of this is just a test. Milo doesn’t have plans to stay in Devon Falls after the leaf festival.
I still haven’t even figured out how to be naked in front of him.
And if Uncle Stan does decide to run against his mother? I really, truly don’t know what happens then.
But honestly, I don’t want to think about any of that right now. I just want to enjoy these moments, this time in front of us. I’ve never dated anybody who looked at me the way Milo does, and wow, that look is a little bit like an addiction I already can’t quit.
“So, you’re okay with this?” I ask Gabe.
Gabe laughs. “I’d be quite the hypocrite if I told two people I work with they can’t form any romantic attachments.
” He shakes his head. “As long as your relationship doesn’t interfere with our work, I’ve got no concerns at all.
You two both deserve to be happy.” He looks back and forth between us for a moment before he speaks again. “Don’t forget that,” he finally adds.
Milo’s frowning slightly now, but eventually he just nods. “Thanks, boss,” he says, and Gabe rolls his eyes.
“You know I hate when you call me that. C’mon, let’s get across the street to the town hall meeting. We’ve got a prom to ask for!”
He starts toward the road, and I move to follow him, but Milo keeps me in place for a moment, his hand still locked on mine.
“Hang on,” he says. “You’ve got an eyelash.
” He leans over, brushing a finger across the edge of my right eye, and the quick contact sends a wave of sparks through my body.
He moves just a little bit forward, until he’s brushing his lips against mine.
More sparks pulse, and the air around me seems to sing.
“I like your shirt, Chucks,” he whispers as he stands up again. I laugh out loud. Today I’m wearing another one that Ezra strongly dislikes. It says, Short leg alert! Please be patient when walking with me.
“People forget,” I tell Milo solemnly.
He nods. “Got it. Let’s head to the historical society for the meeting. I promise to watch my gait.” He squeezes my palm. “When we get to the meeting, you can walk in behind me, okay? If you want.”
I follow him across the road, not even quite sure how to answer that. I wonder if Milo’s thoughtfulness will ever stop catching me off guard.
“Order! This meeting will come to order!”
The woman banging on the gavel at the front of the Devon Falls town meeting brings the crowd instantly to attention, despite the fact that she’s even shorter than me and has fuchsia-pink hair.
I’m told this is Amelia, the town’s mayor, and the wife of Benson’s partner in his law practice—the partner who’s also a practicing nudist, from what I hear.
Uncle Stan would love this town. I hope he visits me here eventually.
Not that he’ll have time if he decides to run in the governor’s primary. I resolve not to think about that anymore today. Right now I’m here, sitting next to Milo Warner at my first Devon Falls town meeting, and I don’t want to miss anything about this moment.
“Thank you for your attention.” Amelia beams down at the people sitting on plastic folding chairs in front of the platform she’s on as the room goes silent. “Now, I know everyone’s got important things to do today, what with the neon line dance event over at the church tonight.”
Neon line dance? I make a mental note to ask Gabe about that later.
“So we’ll get right down to business,” Amelia goes on. “Gabe’s going to share an update about the community center, and then we need to have some hard conversations about what color to paint the town’s gazebo.”
“I hear chartreuse is an option,” Milo mutters quietly.
My eyebrows go up. “You’re messing with me, right?”
He grins. “You’ve got a lot to learn about Devon Falls, Noah Hardaway.”
Amelia claps her hands together. “So, first things first! Let’s hear from Gabe on where things stand with the center’s current plans.”
“Okay.” Gabe stands at the front of the room and waves to the crowd. “Hi there. Hello, everyone. Listen, you all know I still get a little nervous with this whole public speaking thing, right? So thanks for your patience.”
“We love you, Gabe!” someone calls out.
“Thanks!” Gabe blushes. “Here’s where things are.
” Gabe gives a rundown of the repairs we’ve completed, shows them the updated plans for the space, and the crowd claps loudly when he tells them that the ski area’s once beloved gondola is now officially operational again.
“We did have a minor hiccup with the first test run,” he adds with a grin as he looks over at me and Milo.
“But it’s ready to go now, and we’re planning a big fundraising event for the gondola’s unveiling.
So today,” he goes on. “I’m here to talk to you about a much bigger event we want to hold. It’s called Prom Is for Everyone, and…”
Gabe’s still talking as my phone starts buzzing in my pocket. Uncle Stan, the screen reads. Shoot. We were supposed to talk tonight. Is something wrong? “I’ll be right back,” I tell Milo.
Luckily, we’re sitting close to the back of the room, so I manage to make it outside while the phone’s still vibrating. “Uncle Stan? Is everything okay?”
“Kiddo!” Uncle Stan’s voice is bright and cheerful on the other end of the connection.
Thank goodness. I sit down on the historical society steps as all my muscles relax at once.
“I know we’re supposed to talk tonight,” he says.
“But I just got your flowers. I wanted to call and thank you right away. You’re such a good egg, Noah. ”
What’s he talking about? “Flowers?” I ask.
“My favorite kind too,” he goes on. “And the message… it’s very sweet, Noah. I had no idea you felt that way about me potentially running for the primary race.”
A cold sensation is sinking through my body now. “Uh, so you got… flowers,” I finally manage to say. “Can you read the card to me?”
“Checking to make sure the florist got the message right? That’s my Noah,” Uncle Stan says.
“You’ve always paid such good attention to detail.
Let’s see, I was just looking at it. Ah!
Here we go. ‘To Uncle Stan. Thanks for everything. There aren’t enough bouquets to express how much I appreciate everything you’ve given up for me over the years.
New York would be lucky to have you as a governor.
I hope I get to cheer you on hard in the primary race next spring. Love, Noah.’”
My vision blurs for a moment as I work through what to say next.
I have to tell him the truth. He has to know those flowers didn’t come from me.
Ezra must have sent them, right? He has to be the one who sent them.
But is Uncle Stan’s COS really that manipulative?
“Uncle Stan,” I say. “You need to know that I—”
“I know, I know,” he interrupts. “I know the public eye isn’t your favorite place to be, Noah.
If I run, I promise I’ll keep you out of it as much as possible.
But I can’t tell you how much these flowers mean to me, kiddo, no matter what I decide to do.
I keep thinking about when you were little.
” He sniffs slightly. “I keep thinking about that day, that day I had to rush to your house and watch the firefighters take you out of that wall, that day I knew all the fighting we’d done to help your mom had gone nowhere.
” He’s crying now. I can hear the slight sobs in his voice.
“I saw you in that firefighter’s arms, Noah, and I knew I’d failed you so, so badly.
That was the day I knew I had to find a way to keep people from going through what your mom, and you, and I went through.
I knew we had to find a way to change things. And we have, Noah. We really have.”
Tears tilt at the corner of my eyes. “Uncle Stan—” I start to say.
But it’s like he doesn’t even hear me as he keeps talking, his voice still weepy and subdued. “I think she’d be so happy with what we’ve changed, Noah,” he goes on. “Don’t you? I know she’d be so proud of you, kiddo, and I hope she’d be proud of everything we’ve done together. For her.”
The tears are running fully down my face now as I squeeze my eyes shut and try to conjure an image of my mother.
There aren’t many left in my memory, but I have one that always stands out: her, standing with me at the counter in the feed store, laughing as she and Stan and I played some board game together during a slow period.
That was during a brief sober patch, when she played games and made my lunches and even went on a school field trip with me.
She had long blonde hair, I remember, and it always used to hang in her eyes.
I open my mouth to tell Uncle Stan everything. About the flowers, and Ezra, and how I really feel about him running for a major office.
But when I finally speak, none of that comes out.
“She’d be so proud of you, Uncle Stan,” is what I say instead.
He gulps loudly. “Thanks, kiddo,” he whispers. “I hope you know how much I love you, Noah. Listen, I have to run, and I may end up not having time to talk tonight. Ezra put some dinner on my calendar. But we’ll find a time to catch up soon, okay? I love you, Noah.”
“I love you too, Uncle Stan.”
He hangs up then. I can hear laughter and clapping behind me in the historical society, but the noise barely registers. My emotions are a swirling mess of rage, sadness, and hopelessness.
And then more rage.
Before I can do any more work second-guessing myself today, I fire off a text to Ezra.
Noah
Did you send Uncle Stan flowers and sign my name to them?
Ezra
I didn’t see any flowers. Not sure what you’re talking about.
Noah
…
Noah
…
Noah
Well, he got some flowers that weren’t from me. I’ll have to tell him I didn’t send them.
Ezra
Sure, of course. Especially if you think they might have come from someone who doesn’t have his best interests at heart. It’s like I keep telling you, Noah: enemies are all around us.
I’m still trying to figure out how to respond to that when another message slides onto the screen.
Ezra
So keep your nose clean over there in Vermont, Noah. Don’t make trouble for your uncle. I know you want him to be happy and successful. Don’t you?