Chapter 28
Think of Milo. —Noah Hardaway
“You’re lying.”
Those are the first words I can think of to say, even though they make no sense. Why would Ezra ever lie about the two of us being related? And the background check… what he’s just said fits with what I found there.
Ezra sits back slightly as he studies me.
“I never knew her,” he says quietly. “She and my father didn’t last very long.
He took custody of me, got married.” He clears his throat.
“But she used to send me letters. Every year that she was alive, she’d send me one on my birthday.
She never said much about herself. Just asked about me.
She wanted to know what toys I liked, what my favorite colors were.
If I played sports or liked art.” He clears his throat again, and for a moment, I think I see him blink back tears.
“My father and my stepmother were wonderful people. But they did one thing I’ve never quite been able to forgive them for: they hid those letters from me.
They died in a car crash during my freshman year of college.
That’s when I found that stash of letters and decided to start looking for whatever family I had left in the world. ”
“And you found me.” The words are scratchy in my throat.
“Actually, I found Stan first.” Ezra smiles slightly. “I was already studying political science, and I made the connection between our mother and what he was doing in her memory when he had that center for unhoused people struggling with addiction named after her. I was at the building dedication.”
I remember that day. I didn’t go. I knew I couldn’t handle the barrage of questions and demands for my story that would have come my way. So I stayed away and watched the dedication on the news.
“I knew right away that I wanted to work for him.” Ezra crosses his arms. “Here was this incredible human being, doing this work to help the people in our communities who needed it the most, and he was doing it all in the name of our mother.” His lip tips up in a sneer.
“And my little half-brother couldn’t even be bothered to go to the ceremony. ”
My whole body is starting to shake now. “So you decided to ruin me that day? Destroy my relationship with my father?” I ask.
“What?” He squints at me, staring, like I’ve lost my mind.
“Jeez, Noah.” Then he laughs out loud. “Of course not. Honestly, I couldn’t give a damn how you choose to live your life.
That was the day I decided that I was going to make sure your uncle was in charge of this state one day.
Because he was a person with a vision, and he was getting things done.
” Ezra points a finger at me. “Nothing I’ve done has ever been about you, Noah.
My only goal since I started working for Stan has been to make sure he gets to a place where he can do the most amount of good for the most amount of people. ”
I’m shaking harder now. My entire body feels like it’s vibrating against the soft fabric of the sofa.
Ezra scoffs. “Everything I’ve done is for her, Noah.
The mother I never had the opportunity to know because illness took her too soon.
And you? I washed my hands of you the day I saw that you were too weak to even attend a ceremony honoring her memory.
” He crosses his arms. “I always thought that was bad enough,” he mutters.
“Imagine how disappointed I was when I found out you were dating the son of the man whose mother is about to be campaigning against your father.”
“How did you—”
“You think you’re the only one who can hire a private investigator, Noah?
” Ezra laughs. “Dating Milo Warner? Seriously? And the two of you thought you’d just keep that a secret from everyone outside Devon Falls?
” Ezra shakes his head. “You’ve always been more than a little na?ve, but I think even I underestimated just how na?ve.
So,” he goes on. “Here’s what we’re going to do now. ”
I sit there, barely hearing his words through the fog of confusion in my ears. My half-brother is in front of me right now. My half-brother. A man who’s known he’s my half-brother for years and years and years, and never even bothered to tell me.
He never even wanted to tell me.
“You,” he says evenly, “are going to quit seeing Milo Warner, and you’re leaving your job at that community center.
You’re coming back to New York, and you’re going to help me convince Stan to run for governor.
And then you’re going to stop wearing those stupid, ridiculous t-shirts, and those awful shoes, and you’re going to show up presentably on the campaign trail while we get your father into a position where he can do some real good in this state. ”
The urge is still there. The urge to pick up the phone and call him.
Milo. The man whose voice can always send instant calm through me.
He’d come running right now, I know he would.
He’d stand in front of me, between me and Ezra again, and he’d help me find the words I can’t seem to get out of my mouth right now.
But Milo is here, in so many ways that matter.
All the words he’s woven through my brain, about how strong and capable I am, about how much I deserve in this world, live within me now whether he’s in the room with me or not.
I remember the way I stood up to Mrs. Perry in that office in Montpelier.
Milo knew I could do something like that even before I did.
And I know I can do it again now.
“No,” I tell Ezra quietly.
“Excuse me?”
“No,” I repeat. “I’m not doing any of that, Ezra.
I’m not leaving the center, and I’m not leaving Milo.
” I cross my arms and breathe in and out against the raging drumbeat of my heart.
Milo’s face, earnest and caring, moves through my mind’s eye on repeat, giving my words power I didn’t know I had in me.
I know I sound stronger, more self-assured, than I ever have in my life.
I hold up my cell phone and show him the screen.
The recording app I clicked open a few minutes ago is open, steadily showcasing the rise and fall of our conversation. “I’m going to Uncle Stan, and I’m telling him everything. Uncle Stan hates being lied to, you know that. You’re finished working for him.”
But Ezra just smirks. “Cute, Noah. But you’re not the only one who brought leverage to this conversation.
Give me a minute.” He holds up a finger and then begins pressing buttons on his own phone.
The shaking in my body starts again, first in my legs, and then my torso, and soon it’s moving steadily into my arms and hands.
Think of Milo. Think of Milo. I close my eyes, just for a moment, and conjure every fast memory I can of the short time we’ve spent in Devon Falls together. Breakfasts in the cabin. Walks by the river. Eating pancakes.
Dancing together under the trees.
“Here we are,” Ezra says cheerfully. He shows me an email chain and pushes the phone toward me so I can see the names listed in the address lines. When my eyes track the words there, every cell in my body seems to freeze in real time.
“Ella,” I whisper. “Milo’s cancer patient. The one who died. She’s the patient someone used to destroy Milo’s reputation and the health-care bill. Why do you…”
Oh. And just like that, the puzzle pieces click together in my brain.
“It was you,” I murmur. “You sabotaged Milo. You sabotaged that health-care bill.”
“Not permanently,” Ezra says easily as he clicks some buttons on the phone and slides it back into his pocket. “I made a calculation. Look, I like Lilah Warner. I like her politics.”
“Is this the part where I say you have a funny way of showing it?”
Ezra raises an eyebrow. “Noah, I know your father makes sure you get to live in a protected dream world filled with rainbow-colored kittens, but the rest of us live in the real world. In that real world, Lilah is an excellent candidate for governor. But Stan Hardaway is the one with the political vision to make sure people like my mother—”
“Our mother,” I mutter.
“Get the help they need,” he goes on. “Stan’s been a jackhammer on this issue, and he will be when he gets the governor’s seat.
” He shrugs. “That health-care bill was gold for Lilah Warner’s career.
Her name was at the top of it. I couldn’t let it pass.
But don’t worry. Once Stan’s leading the state, we’ll get it back. It’s important legislation too.”
I can’t quite process everything I’m hearing. Ezra tanked the health-care bill. Ezra. He was the one who wrecked Milo. He really has been pulling strings between me and Stan all along.
And he’s my half-brother.
“I can’t do this,” I whisper to the room. “I need to—”
“You need to listen to me.” Ezra grabs my arm as I start to stand up.
“You need to hear this, Noah. What I unleashed on Milo to stop that bill? It’s just the tip of the iceberg.
I’ve got so much more from those parents—and others—that I can share.
So much nasty information I could unleash during a primary campaign. ”
All I can see in my mind’s eye now is Milo’s face as he talked about Ella, about losing her and what rehashing that time in his life did to him. The memories it raised of his father. “You’re a fucking asshole.” My own words sound like a hiss in my ears.
“I’m a person who does what needs to be done for the greater good.” Ezra lets go of my sleeve and pats my arm. “It’s very simple. You leave your job, get Stan to announce, and we get him elected. I leave Dr. Milo Warner completely alone across the entire campaign. Quid pro quo.”
“Just like that?” I ask him, incredulous. “You think I can let you go on working as my father’s COS after everything you’ve just told me?”
Ezra shrugs. “Oh, I don’t just think you can.
I think you will.” He slides his hands into his pockets, suddenly nonchalant.
“Because you know that I have your father’s ear right now, and you don’t.
I’m not scared of some recording you’ve made.
That recording can’t touch me. Your father may not believe in spinning the truth for his own benefit, but I do.
” The smile he gives me sends shivers down my spine.
“And I know you, Noah Hardaway. My PI told me plenty about what you’ve been up to in Devon Falls.
I know all of it. More importantly, I know that you are far, far too weak to cause the kind of pain you know I can bring to someone who matters to you.
” He flashes a triumphant look. “Someone like Milo Warner.”
My gut churns.
“So,” Ezra says. “Do we have a deal?”