Chapter 30
Oh no. —Noah Hardaway
“What tie would you like to wear?”
“Huh? What?” I blink as the stylist waves two different piles of beige-colored silk at me.
They both look exactly the same. And what does it matter what tie I wear?
In a few hours I’m going to step on stage behind the half-brother nobody knows is my half-brother and listen as my father announces his candidacy for New York state governor.
After that, I’ll be tied with a knot to this campaign, at least until the primaries are over.
Uncle Stan couldn’t have been more thrilled when Ezra told him that the two of us had “buried the hatchet,” as he put it, and that I was ready to fully support his campaign.
My Converse sneakers are buried in my closet, and I’m back to being choked to death by pieces of cloth. And their noose feels tighter than it ever has.
I have plenty of memories of feeling isolated and alone in my life.
But now it’s like those feelings are being held under a magnifying glass that’s lighting them up and burning them deep into my skin.
After the short time I spent in Devon Falls, surrounded by open arms and support and so many people who cared about me in my t-shirts and sneakers, I can’t imagine ever feeling anything but lonely again.
For days I’ve been surrounded by Ezra’s minions while my father has been kept busy with meetings, preparing for his campaign announcement.
I finally had to turn off my phone, because I couldn’t bring myself to block the numbers I needed to block, and the constant texts and calls from Milo were driving tiny knives into my heart every single time they came through.
The group text chain with Malachai, Benson, and Gabe wasn’t helping either.
Malachai
Noah, hey, we’re here if you want to talk. Just remember that we care about you, okay?
Benson
We do. And when can I start suing people on your behalf? I feel like some people probably need to be sued here.
Gabe
The center misses you, Noah. Remember that we’ve got your back, okay? We care about you.
Benson
Jeez, when did this chat become an episode of Grey’s Anatomy? No more emotional crap. Noah, whatever this Ezra asshole is up to, the answer is LAWSUITS. I promise.
Malachai
You’re seriously making Grey’s references when like three of us are with doctors?
I had to nope out right after that message. That text chain is everything I ever wanted in a friend group. Everything I ever wanted in a safe space. But I can’t have what I want, and I need to accept that.
I need to accept that I can’t have him.
I point my finger at one of the random, boring ties the stylist is holding out and let my thoughts drift to Milo.
Which one would he choose? What sneakers would he be wearing if he were standing beside me right now?
Would he like the t-shirt I wanted to wear today?
It’s black and says Big Fan of Human Rights across the front in rainbow letters.
I got it at the secondhand store in Devon Falls the day I was shopping with Tom.
I thought Stan’s voters would appreciate it.
Ezra took one look at me this morning and said, “Your shirt needs to have a collar, Noah.”
“Water bottle, sir?”
I glance up at whatever poor, overworked intern has been sent to my side, and I nearly choke on the bite of granola bar in my mouth.
“Scout?” I whisper, but the word comes out more like a hiss. “What the heck are you doing here?”
“Staging a jailbreak,” he says easily as he eyes the tie in my lap. “This must be jail, right? Why would anyone wear a tie of their own free will?”
“You can’t be here.” I stand and grab for the sleeve of the suit jacket he’s wearing.
I’m guessing it came out of Tom’s closet, given how fancy and soft the fabric feels.
I tug him out the back door of the room as quietly as I can, silently praying that no one notices our exit.
Luckily, no one is paying attention to us.
We make it into the hallway before I say anything else.
“What’s going on?” I ask. “What are you doing in Albany?”
“Rescuing you, like I said.” Scout tugs at the tie around his neck.
“And man, if I’d known my first rescue operation was going to come with neckties, I might have just joined the army instead.
These things are not comfy. Let’s go, okay?
I need this thing off my neck like yesterday.
How do you stand them? Milo’s on the third floor, and—”
“Milo’s here? In this hotel?” I ask.
“Yup.” Scout grins proudly. “He wanted to come find you, of course, but we figured he’d get noticed in that space pretty quickly. I just grabbed a badge off a table, and bam, now I’m Lucia Ellerby!” He proudly holds up the badge around his neck.
“People believed you’re a Lucia?” I ask him.
“People never pay attention to the important things,” he tells me with a shrug. “Anyway, let’s get you upstairs. Milo has a plan, and—”
“Scout, no.” I shake my head. “Milo told you about our last phone call, right?” He nods and grimaces. “Then you know,” I go on. “That we broke up.”
“Oh, that.” Scout waves his hand. “Yeah, the breakup. You did that because Ezra’s threatening to target him again, right? Like he did with that health-care bill?”
I’m so stunned that it takes me at least a full thirty seconds to get any words out of my mouth. “He knows about that?” I blurt out.
Scout scoffs. “Please. Have you seen the way Milo looks at you, Noah? Did you actually think he’d just write you off after that phone call? That he’d sigh, put down arms, and accept that the relationship was over, even though you were clearly making a choice against your own free will?”
Lines of connection form in my head. “Mia. She did more digging.”
“Of course she did.” Scout wrinkles his nose.
“And ew, that Ezra jerk is your brother?” He shakes his head.
“I still can’t get over that. The only guy dirty enough to throw a grieving set of parents right into Milo’s face just so he can destroy health care for a whole bunch of people…
he actually shares DNA with you? Have you considered a full blood transplant? ”
Actually, I have. “So, Milo knows everything?” I ask. “He knows Ezra and I are related, and he knows what Ezra did to him?”
Scout shrugs. “You might have more of the dirt, but Mia’s person looked into the connection you found between your mother and Ezra’s father.
Things kind of unwound from there. We figured Ezra must be holding more nasty stuff from those parents over your head to make sure you’d break up with Milo and not tell your dad what’s going on. That’s some sacrifice, Noah.”
I frown. “It’s, um, not exactly a sacrifice. It’s just what I have to do. For Milo.”
“Oh, it’s totally a sacrifice.” Scout pulls Lucia’s nametag off his neck and shoves it into the pocket of pants that are slightly too big for him.
Definitely Tom’s. “This is you saying I am not as important as other people in my life who matter to me. But Milo disagrees. He drove all the way to Albany from Devon Falls just to talk to you. Do you know how many potholes and tractors are on those side roads?”
I choke out a half laugh. “I do, actually.”
“Then you know you at least have to hear Milo out, right?” Scout shrugs. “Listen, I know I’m younger than you, and you’re the one who basically rescued me like five minutes ago.”
“I never rescued you, Scout.”
“Oh no, you definitely did.” Scout sends me a toothy grin.
“You and Milo, stalking into my office like that, calling my boss out? That was a total wake-up call for me. For a long time, I’d just been going through the motions every day.
Waking up in the morning and doing whatever I had to do to earn enough money to eat.
And I do mean whatever, Noah.” Scout blushes as he looks down.
“Scout,” I tell him. “I’m not sure exactly what you mean, but—”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now.” Scout waves his hand at me. “I haven’t made my peace with all of it yet, but I will. Someday. Because you and Milo rushed into that stupid office I was working in and were all not today, wannabe Satan.”
I have to laugh at his nickname for his former boss, the buttoned-up Mrs. Perry.
“So.” Scout crosses his arms. “Where’s all that energy for doing the right thing now, Noah? Milo’s ready to fight for you. Why aren’t you ready to fight for him? What are you waiting for?”
I open my mouth to answer and realize I can’t. I glance back at the door of the room where all the various members of my father’s staff are rushing around, waiting for him to make an announcement that will change both our lives.
An announcement built on a house of lies.
“Shoot,” I whisper. “Scout. I messed this up, didn’t I?”
“Maybe.” He shrugs again. “But hey, I’m actually kind of the king of the screwups, and I’m still standing.”
What is he even talking about right now? “You’re not a screwup, Scout.”
He sighs as he turns and starts walking up the hall. “You don’t even know, Noah. Someday I’ll tell you. Maybe. But right now, we need to find Milo. He’s got a plan, and it’s time sensitive.”
“What kind of plan?” I ask as I rush to catch up with him.
He turns around and grins. “You’re going to have to ask his mother.”
Oh no.