28. Millie
CHAPTER 28
Millie
I’m woken by the distant ringing of a cell phone, lodged somewhere down the side of my bed or tangled up in my bed sheets. As soon as I grab it, the call rings out.
Ugh .
I slump back down onto the bed, pulling a pillow over my head to block out the early morning sunlight beaming through the window. The ringing starts again, I squint with one eye at the name moving across the screen.
Maddie .
Panic instantly floods my gut as I push myself up to a seated position and slide my finger across the screen to answer.
“What’s wrong? Maddie… Is everything okay?”
“Good morning to you too, sis.” Sarcasm is thick in her voice. “I was just calling to wish you a happy birthday. Mom’s here too.”
She pans the camera over to Mom, who takes her hands off the steering wheel to give me a double wave .
“Happy birthday, darling!” She's wearing business casual office attire. After I moved to Braggan Valley, she started working for the City of Rowenbridge, processing applications for a host of local support programs.
It seems to be doing her good.
I take in both of their faces, letting momentary relief flood me as I realize they’re both okay. Nothing bad has happened, everyone is safe. I wonder how long it’ll take me to see an incoming phone call and not immediately think the worst.
The relief is short lived as it dawns on me that they’ve both just wished me a happy birthday, which means today is going to be the kind of day I want to be over before it’s even started.
“Try to have a good day, darling.” Mom is leaning towards the camera as she pulls up on a red light. “I know you hate birthdays, but we love you, Mills. Today and every day!”
“Thanks, Mom.” I try on a smile, but it looks as fake as it feels. “My birthday wish is for you to stop driving like you have nine lives, please keep your eyes on the road.”
“Oh, she’s crazy, sis! Nearly ran down an old granny at the Broadville intersection on the weekend.” Maddie regales the tale as if it’s hilarious, not borderline alarming. “Side note: can you try and convince her to let me stay off school since it’s your birthday?”
“No, Maddie.” You’ve got to respect a girl for trying, but she’s far too smart to be skipping class and letting her grades fall the way mine did. “You can’t take the day off just because your sister who lives in the next province over is turning twenty-eight. It’s not even a big birthday. Nice try, though. ”
I really do hate birthdays. I can’t remember a single one that hasn’t left me feeling like there’s a dead weight pressing down on my chest. It’s one of those days where you’re supposed to be happy on the outside, regardless of whatever is going on inside your head. I learned pretty early on that having to wear that mask around was exhausting, and I’m yet to grow out of feeling mounting dread every year when my birthday rolls around.
My skin is sticky, a result of the intolerable summer heat we’ve been getting, and not helped by the queasy feeling in my gut about whatever Elodie has planned for this morning. She crept out of the dorm well before her usual alarm, and that girl usually sleeps like a log.
It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to work out that she’s up to something.
I can’t bear the thought of putting on clothes before showering the night sweats off my body, but my grumbling stomach is begging me to head to the kitchen for a slice of toast to start the morning. I slip my legs into a pair of cotton pyjama shorts, and swap my drool covered nightshirt out for the first clean vest top I can find. The less fabric clinging to my skin right now, the better.
Pushing all of my weight into the door, I eventually manage to hit the right angle and burst through into the staff kitchen. Caden really needs to take a look at those hinges before someone gets injured.
I rub my hand over my shoulder, inspecting the area and expecting an instant bruise to form.
“Millie!” Elodie’s voice is eager as she bounds across the distance between us, enveloping me in a suffocating hug before I even have the opportunity to grab a slice of bread and throw it in the toaster. “Happy freaking birthday!”
She lets me go, only to drag me further into the kitchen, pulling out a bar stool for me as I take in the decorations strewn across the island – there’s glitter, and giant balloons, Polaroids with some of our first pictures together, and a hot pink gift box tied with layers of organza ribbon.
She slides a plate in my direction, loaded with fresh hash browns and an interestingly coloured sauce drizzled over eggs and bacon. Suddenly, I don’t know how I ever thought I’d be satisfied with a measly slice of toast.
My belly rumbles in anticipation.
“The girl is nuts,” Chef Raphael blurts from the sink, pointing towards Elodie as she scuttles towards the bathrooms. “She tells me cook you Eggs Benedict on croissant, but make hollandaise pink. PINK!” He scrubs furiously at the spatula in his hand, as though the request has caused him severe emotional distress.
“Thanks for breakfast,” I laugh, hoping my manners will keep me far away from the bad books Elodie is currently residing in. I have no interest in being on the wrong side of him twice in my life.
A rough hand slides across the small of my back as a hot, familiar presence moves behind me. I immediately curse myself for not opting for more coverage as my nipples pebble beneath the thin, white fabric.
“Happy Birthday, Adams,” Caden’s voice whispers against my ear. “I hope it doesn’t suck.”
I fold my arms across my chest, trying to conceal the way Caden’s body pressing up against mine just made me feel. He’s gone before I have the chance to get used to it, dropping down on the stool next to me and digging into his own breakfast.
I look around the room, taking everything in. I can’t believe how much thought and effort Elodie has put into making this morning special. It’s the kind of birthday Mom would’ve wanted to give me all of those years ago when she was just doing her best to get by.
“This is too much,” I choke out, tears threatening to fall before I can get any more words out. “I don’t… I didn’t do anything to deserve this.”
“That’s just the way Elodie is,” Parker replies as he arranges banana slices on top of his pancakes in a lopsided smiley face. “She doesn’t hold back. If she loves you, she’s going to love you hard. Don’t doubt for a second that you deserve that kind of friendship, Millie, you mean the world to her.”
I gulp, shaking my head and pushing off from my spot, ready to bolt. My mind starts to whir – goading me to remember that nothing can be this good without something much worse coming right after.
“Hey.” Caden grabs my hand under the counter, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. “You’re okay.” He doesn’t move from his stool, digging into his breakfast with his opposite hand, calming me without making a scene or drawing attention to us.
I focus on his calloused skin moving in deliberate, gentle strokes over mine – perfectly in time with the voice in my head as I count backwards from ten, deep centering breaths bringing me back to the present.
“I’m okay,” I whisper, easing myself back down onto my stool, clasping Caden’s hand in mine between my knees as though it’s my lifeline.
I’m ridiculously full.
You can say what you like about Chef Raph, but he’s a damn good cook and I couldn’t have stopped myself from finishing that plate even if I wanted to.
“Millie, I can’t wait anymore.” Elodie is so full of energy this morning that she’s almost vibrating. “Please open your gift.” She shoves the box in my direction, grabbing my plate and glass as she goes, making room for me to unbox whatever is inside.
I release the organza bow, taking off the lid to reveal another layer of shredded tissue paper. Inside is a smaller box, and inside that is a vintage-style Polaroid camera encased in dusty pink leather, a hand-made beaded bracelet with my initials between two hearts, several rolls of mountain-themed craft tape and a stack of mismatched paper off-cuts tied with an elastic band.
“For your scrapbook.” Elodie’s words are hurried, a nervousness scattered within them. “Do you like it? It’s okay if you don’t… I can take it back, it’s all thrifted, it’s no big deal.”
“El,” I interrupt her dizzy rambling, but I’m still at a loss for what to say. “I… this… I love it. It’s perfect.”
This time it’s my turn to suffocate her in a hug.
I squeeze her tight, realizing how lucky I am to have found a friend like her – someone who knows me so completely, who seems to get the inner workings of my soul, and doesn’t ask me to be anything more than I am.
“My turn.” Caden clears his throat, passing me a small rectangular box, coated in velvet from the pocket of his jeans.
“You got me a gift?” I ask, confused.
“Mhmm.” He shakes it off like it’s the most normal thing, but I’ve never had a man buy me a gift before, especially not for my birthday. This is the furthest thing from normal for me. “Nothing fancy; don’t get your knickers in a twist.”
I take the box from him, popping the lid open.
A thin silver chain lies on a bed of pillowy silk, with a dainty butterfly pendant attached, light bouncing off an opaque stone at the centre of its wings.
A small hand-written note is affixed to the roof of the box, I pluck it out, bringing the message closer so I can read the tiny lettering.
The butterfly;
Fragile, but courageous.
Happy Birthday, Adams.
From Caden
My airways tighten as I try to swallow.
It’s beautiful.
And thoughtful .
It’s like he’s taken the conversations we had out on the canoe and molded them into something tangible, something I could keep. A reminder that even when shit gets rough, I’ll always find a way to keep going.
“Thank you,” I whisper the words, my eyes transfixed on the intricate details of the necklace. “I… uh?—”
The words are like cotton wool on my tongue, I can’t get them out. I don’t quite know how to articulate the way this has made me feel.
Seen. Understood. Known.
“Let me help you,” Caden gestures towards the box, “if you like it, that is? Otherwise, I’ll take it back to the Dollar Store.” His smooth laugh bursts through any tension between us.
“I hope you’re not trashing Dollar Village,” I chide, dropping the chain into his waiting hand. “That store is my lifeline.”
“That’s worrying.” He quirks an eyebrow in my direction. “You might want to reevaluate your life if that’s the case.”
“Hey!” I huff, folding my arms across my chest. “It’s my birthday! Save your insults for another day.”
“As you wish.” He plants his hands on my shoulders, spinning my body away from him. “I’ll start a list to keep track of the good ones.”
His calloused fingers glide over my skin as he pulls my hair to one side, his movements both commanding and gentle. The necklace falls against my chest, careful hands fastening the closure at my nape.
He lingers for a second, his breath filling the sliver of space between our bodies.
I run my fingers over the butterfly pendant, feeling its ridges between my thumb and forefinger as I burn.
I burn for Caden Thompson.
And I don’t know what to do about it.
“Better get dressed, Birthday Girl. We’re headed out straight after this.” Caden’s voice is cool as he steps away, reminding me that he doesn’t burn for me in return.
“Headed where?” I ask, keeping my gaze down, embarrassed by the realization that I might have just felt something for the man I once swore I hated.
“Stella’s,” he mumbles, tearing another bite out of his bacon roll. “Oh, and Adams…”
“Yeah?”
He leans in closer to me, leaving just an inch between us as his hot words spill out.
“I like this top—” he pulls at the material covering my chest, “—but unless your intention is to distract me from our baking lesson, you might want to consider something a little less… transparent.”