Chapter 6 #3
After another minute, she surrendered her place to the footman and moved toward the chairs by the fire – not hurried, not reluctant – but with the uneasy sense that the evening had begun to escape her careful ordering.
And that, she suspected, was quite her own fault.
***
The gentlemen had gathered near the sideboard, glasses replenished, chairs drawn into a loose semicircle that invited conversation without ceremony. Mr. Bennet, having observed the group for a moment with his habitual air of detached amusement, fixed his attention at last upon Mr. Wickham.
“Is it not remarkable,” said Mr. Bennet, “that two of our guests should come from the same county – and that Mr. Darcy and Mr. Wickham not only share Derbyshire, but are already acquainted?”
“Hear, hear!” Some of the guests exclaimed in surprise.
“So, Mr. Wickham,” said he pleasantly, “Mr. Darcy tells me you left Derbyshire some years ago. I wonder what profession you first pursued – before circumstances led you to the militia.”
The question was lightly put, but not a careless one.
Wickham’s smile did not falter, though it altered – becoming broader, easier, as if prepared for explanation.
“I had every intention, sir,” he replied, “of pursuing the law. It seemed a respectable course, suited to my inclinations, and one that promised independence.”
Mr. Bennet nodded. “Indeed. A sensible ambition. One hears, however, that the militia is not commonly a man’s first choice.”
Colonel Forster, who had been standing nearby, shifted his weight and laughed lightly. “Circumstances, Mr. Bennet, are often more persuasive than preference. The militia has welcomed many able men who might otherwise have distinguished themselves elsewhere.”
“Quite so,” said Mr. Bennet. “Yet it is more usual, I believe, for younger sons to take such a path – men who can rely upon family connections, or at least some independent income. The pay alone, I am told, is hardly sufficient to recommend the profession.”
Wickham inclined his head. “It is not a lucrative calling, certainly.”
“No,” Mr. Bennet agreed mildly. “Which suggests that a man must have found his alternatives still less so.”
There was a brief pause.
Elizabeth, who stood near the table under the pretext of arranging cups, had ceased to move. She kept her eyes lowered, but her attention was fixed.
Darcy, who had thus far remained silent, became aware of her attention at once.
The thought that Wickham had already shaped her understanding of their history sat ill with him.
Wickham had never been inclined to account for his own failures – of that Darcy was certain – and yet he found, to his surprise, that he cared how Miss Elizabeth judged him.
He spoke. “You told me,” he said, turning directly to Wickham, “that you intended to use the money you received to complete your studies.”
The room quieted.
Wickham’s expression shifted – only slightly – before he recovered it.
“That was my hope at the time,” he said. “But hopes are not always fulfilled.”
“No,” Darcy replied evenly. “They are not.”
Colonel Forster stepped in at once. “Whatever his earlier disappointments, I can vouch for Mr. Wickham’s conduct since joining us. He has acquitted himself well – with diligence and spirit.”
“I do not dispute that,” Darcy said calmly.
Mr. Bennet lifted his brows. “Then the matter is settled – or at least postponed. One’s past seldom explains itself so neatly as one hopes.”
Wickham smiled again, more narrowly this time. “I am grateful for your forbearance, sir.”
Darcy did not respond.
Across the room, Elizabeth at last moved away, her expression composed, though her thoughts were anything but settled.
Darcy watched her go.
***
The chairs were arranged with some ceremony, music books fetched, candles adjusted. The evening, which had already proved eventful enough, now assumed the air of cultivated leisure which Mrs. Bennet prized so highly. Performances were proposed, accepted, and expected.
Elizabeth and Jane were persuaded at once.
Jane hesitated only a moment before taking her place at the pianoforte, and Elizabeth sat down at the instrument, the music placed before her.
Miss Bennet’s composure was nearly perfect – nearly – yet Darcy, watching with an attention he had not intended, observed the slight stiffness in her shoulders, the careful way she settled herself, as though conscious of every eye upon her.
She was nervous.
It was not a failing that diminished her; rather, it rendered her more affecting. Darcy saw the quick breath she took before she placed her hand upon her heart as if to protect herself.
When she looked up, her eyes went first to Bingley.
The look was fleeting, almost involuntary; yet its effect was immediate. Bingley met it at once, his countenance lighting with encouragement, his nod small but full of confidence, as if to assure her that nothing could be amiss while he listened.
Her shoulders eased. The tension left her posture.
She inclined her head slightly toward Miss Elizabeth – the signal agreed upon between sisters – and Elizabeth responded at once. Without fuss or display, she shifted closer, adjusted the music, and began the accompaniment with a confidence that steadied them both.
Darcy’s attention, which had been fixed upon Jane, shifted then – and remained – upon Elizabeth.
She watched her sister with quiet vigilance, alert to every hesitation, every breath, every turn of phrase.
When Miss Bennet’s voice wavered at the opening line, Miss Elizabeth entered with the refrain, clear and assured, lending strength without overtaking her.
It was not a performance meant to impress; it was one meant to support.
Miss Bennet sang more freely then.
Elizabeth joined her again in the chorus, her voice blending rather than leading, guiding rather than commanding. She glanced at her sister only when necessary, her presence steady, her encouragement unspoken yet unmistakable.
Darcy found himself unexpectedly moved.
This was not mere sisterly affection, but something rarer: an instinctive understanding of another’s needs, and the grace to meet them without calling attention to oneself.
He thought of her appearance at Netherfield.
The notion that she had undertaken the journey merely to put herself forward now seemed quite ridiculous, although he soon realised that when she did not pay him much attention.
She walked three miles to take care of her sister.
She took care of her sister as naturally as she breathed, neither diminishing Miss Bennet’s accomplishment nor allowing her to falter alone.
The thought came to him unbidden.
Georgiana would have flourished under such care.
He imagined his sister, so often overwhelmed by company, shrinking from attention, her talents checked by self-doubt.
How different her world might have been had she possessed, not merely a guardian, but such a companion – someone to stand beside her, to share the burden without presuming authority.
And now he had to share an evening with the man who not long ago sought to ruin her.
How dangerous flattery becomes when it is met without guidance…
The reflection unsettled him.
Jane, now more at ease, sang with a softness that filled the room, her gaze drifting above her audience, unanchored – until, once again, it found Bingley. This time, there was no uncertainty in the look she gave him. When the song concluded, her sigh was one of relief and quiet satisfaction.
Bingley’s applause came at once, open and enthusiastic, his admiration unguarded. Jane’s colour deepened, but she smiled – not in embarrassment, but in shared pleasure – and turned to Elizabeth, who returned the look with affectionate triumph.
Darcy remembered then Collins’s confident declaration.
Miss Bennet was soon to be engaged.
The certainty of it sat less comfortably now.
He recalled the dinner – the easy absorption between Miss Bennet and Bingley, the way neither seemed aware of others when together. He recalled the look she had sought before she sang, and the look she wore now, as if encouraged not merely in her performance, but in herself.
If this were indifference, Darcy had never seen its like.
Had he judged only by appearances, he might already have resolved upon advising his friend to withdraw.
The distinction of situation, the uncertainty of its return, the hazards of encouraging an attachment so easily formed – all would have recommended caution.
Miss Bennet’s connections, though respectable, were not such as he would once have thought desirable; yet Bingley’s fortune was sufficient to place him beyond the necessity of such considerations, if she were indeed the object of his choice.
What Darcy had just witnessed, however, did not accord with cold reasoning.
There had been no art in her manner, no design in her regard; and Bingley’s attention, though unguarded, had not been misplaced.
He found, not without reluctance, that judgement was no longer so easily exercised where feeling had been so plainly expressed.
Elizabeth turned a page, accepting the compliments offered with her usual animation, her eyes bright, her manner lively once more. But before she could leave the instrument, she was pressed to sing.
She hesitated – not from reluctance to sing, but from a brief awareness of being observed. Yet the moment allowed no graceful refusal. With a glance toward Jane, who smiled encouragingly, she yielded, and, without further ceremony, began.
Darcy found himself listening more closely than he intended.
Her voice, though not raised for effect, carried with a warmth that lingered upon the ear – a softness touched with something deeper, a faint huskiness that gave even the simplest phrase a weight he could not ignore.
It did not seek to command attention, yet he found he could not withdraw his own.
The clear line of her soprano rose and settled with an ease that seemed almost unconscious, and before he was aware of it, the sound had taken hold of him.
He had meant to listen with composure; instead, he felt it, unaccountably, disturb that composure altogether.
As she finished her song, she glanced up – and Darcy, unprepared, met her gaze. She met his eyes directly – and smiled.
It was not the small, guarded curve of politeness she so often employed in company, nor the playful arch that preceded some lively remark.
It was open, warm, entirely unrestrained – the smile of someone pleased, untroubled, and wholly herself.
A smile that asked nothing, concealed nothing, and offered no defence.
For an instant, Darcy forgot where he was.
The room, the company, his earlier considerations, the noise of voices receded. There was only that expression – bright, candid, alive – and the unsettling awareness that it had been given freely, without calculation.
He had seen a smile like this, but it was never aimed at him.
Elizabeth did not linger. The smile passed as naturally as it had come, and she turned to Miss Mary, who was to replace her at the pianoforte. Yet its impression remained, vivid and inexplicable.
Darcy drew a slow breath.
The music continued, but Darcy heard it only dimly.