Chapter 52
Chapter Fifty-Two
SEAN
Walking up the stairs, I rub my face, longing for a long, hot shower before bed. I listen out for Jasmine but can't hear her anywhere. She didn’t come back to the sitting room after disappearing to call the girls. I expect she will still be organising everything with them.
Christian informed us that McIntire isn’t planning to tell Abbi about Eddie- not the whole truth. He wants to try to make it seem like Eddie has lost interest. Jasmine doesn’t want her to know that she was giving out details, which is why the original wedding was ruined. She worries Abbi will stop talking to her because she’s ashamed of what she's done, even though not one of us blames her.
When the others filled me in on how he got access to Eddie's phone, I was glad to be upstairs. We have heard many horror stories about what that man is capable of, but to see it first-hand has shaken Maximus up. He’s determined to stay on McIntire’s good side now, so he never finds himself at the receiving end of his rage.
Glancing at all the closed bedroom doors as I pass, I wonder which room Jasmine is in. Unfortunately, that thought causes Mykela’s voice to play back in my head.
“She has a stronger relationship with Christian. What if they decide one day to keep things just between them? What happens to you?”
I can't deny that it hit a little too close to home. This is something that’s not only played on my mind from time to time but Maximus’s and Jason's too. Sure, we all have different relationships with her, and she will seek each of us out depending on what she needs, but that doesn’t stop the worry that one day, this will all be too much, and she will pick him. But we try not to dwell on it, as that would cause problems in itself. What do they call it? A self-fulfilling prophecy? When you believe something so much, you incidentally make it come true. Yeah, no thanks, I’m not losing my girl because of my own insecurities.
Opening the bedroom door, I walk inside and stop in my tracks. There, curled up on the bed, fast asleep, wearing one of my T-shirts, is Jasmine. Her Kindle is beside her, as she's fallen asleep whilst reading. It's not the first time any of us have found her like this. She is forever reading on the bed and falling asleep, still on top of the covers. What shocked me was that she was here. After everything this morning with Christian, I was sure she would be sleeping in his room.
Walking over to her side of the bed, I grab a blanket I keep on the chair for times like this. I place it over her gently. Unable to resist the urge, I kiss her forehead softly while picking up her Kindle and placing it on the bedside table next to her.
She stirs ever so slightly and snuggles under the blanket with a little sigh before settling again. I watch her sleep for a moment, as she’s looking so peaceful and beautiful. I want nothing more than to curl up and hold her all night, but I need to shower first. I can still feel the phantom of Mykela’s touch, and I want to wash her away before I hold the love of my life. Jason is right; from the moment I saw Jasmine in the hotel lobby standing with Carol and Tommy on their wedding day, I knew she was mine. There wasn’t anything I wasn’t willing to do to have her in my life forever.
Turning around, I walk to the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind me. Jasmine can sleep like the dead, but that doesn’t stop me from ensuring I don’t accidentally wake her. She probably hasn’t had a sound sleep in weeks. Only last night, the five of us, all a little tipsy, were up until two in the morning, making love. The four of us made her scream so many times she lost her voice. It’s my second favourite way to spend my time. The first, of course, is when I get her to myself, and the only name she screams is mine.
As I wait for the shower to heat up, I strip from my clothes and throw them in a pile to be thrown out or burned. I don’t want anything to remind me of today, and I know I would think of Mykela every time I see that polo shirt if I were to keep it. I want to forget the way she looked at me with hope in her eyes when I lied to her. Or the way she screamed my name when she realised I wasn’t going to run away with her.
When she woke up chained beside her brother, she begged me to save her, telling me over and over again that we were meant to be together. Jasmine had stood behind me, not saying a word. I hadn’t been able to look at her for fear she believed what she had heard. Luckily, she only stayed long enough to realise Mykela was unstable before turning around and walking out of the basement without so much as a word to me. I was thankful in a strange way as I couldn’t get my head around Mykela and her betrayal. Having Jasmine close to the woman screaming that she loved me and would do anything to prove to me we belonged together was challenging, to say the least.
Pushing myself away from the sink, I walk into the shower and stand under the hot water. Tipping my head back so the spray hits my face, I let a few tears run free. I hate it when it's someone close to us who does the unthinkable and betrays our trust. It's so much harder to deal with afterward. I’m not saying any time is easy; every death has left its mark on us. But I’ve had Mykela by my side for four years. Sure, she was just a member of the team for the first four years, but this last six months, when she has been my guard, we have grown close. She had become a friend.
Taking a deep breath, I force back my grief. I have no right to feel anything; Mykela is dead because of me. In what world should I feel any sort of loss for her when I didn’t prevent her death?
“She knows too much, Sean; you know this needs to be dealt with. She has shown she is willing to do anything to have you to herself; what if she uses her knowledge of our home and lives to seek revenge? She could bring anyone to our door, and we wouldn’t be able to protect ourselves or, more importantly, Jasmine.” I know Christian was right; if anything happened to Jasmine or my brothers because of me protecting someone, I would never forgive myself. No, I need to do what we always do in these situations and bury it.
Taking a deep breath, I force myself to wash my hair and body, reminding myself that Jasmine is in our bed, waiting for me to join her. Even though I have no doubt she will stay asleep all night, being able to hold her is more than I expected tonight.
Turning off the shower, I grab a towel and give myself a quick rub down before tying it around my waist and grabbing a second to use on my hair. As I throw that one into the washing basket, I leave the bathroom to find Jasmine sitting up in bed.
“Hey, sorry, did I wake you, Princess?” I ask softly. Jasmine shakes her head and gives me a small smile.
“No, I wanted to stay awake to check on you.” Climbing off the bed, she walks to where I’m looking for clean boxers. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I’m okay.” It’s a lie; I’m sure she sees straight through it. But I wrap an arm around her waist, closing the distance between us. “I’m so sorry you had to hear all of that,” I whisper, looking deep into her blue eyes. “I had no idea how she felt, I swear, Princess. If I had any inkling, I would have-” She stops me by putting a finger over my lips.
“I know, Daddy,” she whispers, reaching up to brush some damp hair from my forehead. “I trust you completely and know you would never have purposely led her on. You’re not the type of person who purposely hurts someone that way. Which is probably why it was so easy for her to fall in love with you.” A smile spreads across her face as her eyes sparkle in the dim light. “It's one of the reasons I fell for you the hardest to start with.”
My eyes widen as I stare, amazed.
“I always assumed it was Jason,” I chuckle as Jasmine shakes her head.
“I fell for all of you that night, but there was something about the way you smiled at me that made me feel seen for the first time. Like somehow you saw the real me behind the mask I wore quicker than the others.” Jasmine looks at her hand, which is now resting on my bare chest, and her smile slips. “I don’t care about Christian more than you, more than any of you.”
“I know, Princess, we don’t-”
“I wasn’t finished,” she interrupts, lifting one brow. I can tell she’s trying to say something. So I stop and nod for her to continue. “I have always told you all I don’t have a favourite, and I really don’t. But I know I have been spending a lot of time with Christian recently, and I feel like I should explain.”
“Shall we get comfortable first?” I suggest, desperate to hold her in my arms.
Jasmine nods, so I tell her to get into bed. As she does, I quickly run the towel over myself again before climbing beside her. Jasmine curls up against me as I place an arm around her, as she rests her head on my chest.
“You know you don’t have to explain anything to me, Princess.” Running a hand over her head, I wait to see if she will continue or change the subject. Either is fine with me as long as she is here, in our bed.
“I want to talk to you about this. I don’t think I will rest properly until I do.”
“Then talk to me. I will always listen to you.” Kissing the top of her head to encourage her, I listen to her taking a deep breath before continuing.
“As I said, I never have and never will have favourites. But I’m not stupid, and I know you have all noticed I’ve been spending a lot of time with Christian when he’s home. Not just the last few months while everything has been going on, but since you all rescued me. It wasn’t that I felt safer with him or that I loved him more. It was because I knew he needed me just as much as I needed you all at that time.”
I still underneath her as she starts tracing the tattoos on my chest.
“I haven’t said anything because it's not been my place, and he asked me not to.” She lifts her head and looks at me. “Believe it or not, I won't share things any of you tell me in private. First of all, I’m not like that, and secondly, we all have secrets and deserve to keep them from those we don’t want to share them with.”
I had never considered that she must carry so much weight on her shoulders just by listening to each of us. Maximus doesn’t think twice about having a rant about Christian in front of her, and it never crossed my mind that she would go running back to Christian and repeat it all. She is right; she isn’t the type to share things with others who wouldn’t want her to. I want to tell her how amazing she is, but she continues before I have a chance.
“You heard about how he was this morning and what I said after he had left. I wish I could say it’s the first time he’s woken up shaking and crying, but it’s not. He has never been that bad before, but he’s still suffered. He has been struggling to sleep, and when he does, he is plagued with nightmares. I’ve tried to get him to talk to me or anyone, but he wouldn’t. So, instead, I’ve been making a point of sleeping with him so I can hold him when the nightmares start, which usually helps him settle enough so he doesn’t wake up. But some nights, I don’t hear him. I wake up to him sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands or standing in the shower leaning against the wall with his head down; the water’s so hot I’m scared it will scald him.
“I’m only telling you this as I know you have all been worried I would pick him over you or that our marriage will mean more because it's legal, but you couldn’t be more wrong.” Jasmine sits up in front of me, tucking her legs to her right.
“Don’t try to deny it; I have heard the little comments, and let's face it, Daddy Max doesn’t have the ability to filter his thoughts before they come out of his big mouth.” I can't help the laugh that bursts from my chest as she has hit the nail on the head. Judging from the smile on her face, she’s proud of that one. But her smile slips slightly as she looks towards the door. “Maybe don’t repeat that last bit to him, though. My butt needs a break after swearing four times last night.” It takes everything in me not to laugh out loud again, so instead, I take her hand and press a kiss to her knuckles.
“Your secret is safe with me,” I throw in a wink for good measure.
“Thank you, Daddy. My butt and I appreciate it.”
She lays back beside me, using my chest as a pillow, and goes back to tracing my tattoo.
“Just to confirm, in my eyes, there is no difference between my marriage to you or the others. I love you all, and that will never change. It's just that sometimes one of you needs me more than the others.” Jasmine turns slightly so she’s more on her stomach, making it easier to look me in the eye.
“Is that why you are here tonight?” I ask, tucking some hair behind her ear as she nods.
“You’ve had a rough day, and I knew you would be beating yourself up about it all. I wanted to ensure you knew I didn’t think differently about you or us. I understand why you said what you did, and I know you love me just as much as I love you, which is a lot.” Her playful smile is back, and I can't help flipping us over, startling a scream from her before she bursts out laughing.
Nudging her legs with mine, she opens for me eagerly as I use my arms to cage her head, making it easier to stare into her eyes.
“Thank you, Princess. I will never understand what we did to deserve you, but I’m grateful you're ours.” Softly and slowly, I kiss her lips, savouring the feel of them against mine. “I never thought about how much you help us all, not just by being our light but our loving, supportive and selfless fiancée. Who I cannot wait to make our wife.” As I brush my lips against hers, she wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me in closer. So I get to show her a whole other way, how much she means to me.