Chapter 19
LOLA
I didn’t mean to spend so much time in the bathroom, but after kissing them for a while, I needed a moment to calm down and to stop us from going any further. It wasn’t the time to sleep with them yet, although I truly wanted to.
We weren’t in a rush, and to be fully honest with myself, I wasn’t ready to have sex with them. At least not with all of them at once.
I stared at myself in the mirror, taking in my rosy cheeks and eyes filled with emotions. Something big was growing between me and the men, and I was proud of myself for how I was handling everything. At times, I didn’t believe it was real, having four men being into me.
“This is crazy,” I whispered, laughing at how bizarre it was to have a crush on four men. Well, to be fair, it was already more than just a crush. Somehow what I felt for each of them had already developed into something bigger than I could’ve ever imagined, and while it was slightly overwhelming, I wanted to see how far this would go.
“Lola, you okay in there?” Bennett’s deep voice appeared from the other side of the door as he gently knocked.
“Yes, I’m okay. I just need a minute,” I told him.
“Alright. Let me know if you need anything.”
“I will. Don’t worry, I’ll be right out.”
I waited for him to leave, but I didn’t hear his footsteps on the wooden floor. He didn’t trust me that everything was okay, and in a way, that was super sweet of him. I washed my hands a second time before heading to the door and unlocking it, revealing Bennett standing there when I opened it.
I smiled at him, and he watched me intently. He looked me up and down, taking in every inch of me to make sure I hadn’t been lying about being okay.
“Did we ruin the evening?”
“Ruin it?” I asked, frowning up at him. “Never. Why would you think that?”
For a big man like him, he sure had big doubts. But I didn’t blame him. I did spend a lot of time in the bathroom, and normally, that was a sign of wanting to get away from someone.
Before he could assume that, I decided to explain to him why I actually locked myself in there for so long. I smiled and stepped closer to him, placing both my hands on his chest. “I just needed a moment. I was overcome with emotions. Good emotions. All that kissing was just overwhelming.”
He kept studying me, and only after I assured him once again that I was fine, he finally relaxed. “Good. I just wanted to make sure.”
He put his arms around my waist and pulled me tighter against him. With his fingertips tracing my ass, he leaned in closer to kiss my cheek. “It’s not too late yet. Would you like to come back upstairs to have another piece of that delicious cake you made?”
I smiled and leaned into him more, moving my arms up to hug him. “I’d love to.”
We stood there like this for a while, and I enjoyed the warmth he gave me by simply holding me. All of them would have that effect, but with Bennett, it was different.
“Let’s go.” He moved away and slid his fingers through mine before lifting my hand to his mouth and kissing the back of it. He gave me one more smile, and I let him lead me upstairs to the others.
“There she is. You okay?” Leo asked with a gentle grin on his lips.
“I’m more than okay. Ben said there’s cake left?”
“Of course. Let me get you some.”
While Leo went to get us all another round of cake, I sat down with Bennett and reached for the pack of cigarettes on the coffee table. They hadn’t been there before. Looking up, I studied Watson and Kline’s faces, wondering which of the two smoked.
“Those are mine. Do you smoke?” Watson asked.
“No, I don’t.” I pursed my lips and studied the pack in my hand before putting it back down with a tight smile. “I’ve always disliked the smell of cigarettes. And I think smoking is unnecessary.”
“It definitely is,” Ben stated, shooting a glance at Watson.
He sighed and ran a hand through his long hair. “I know it is. It’s a bad habit. It’s hard to let go of it.”
I wasn’t judging him for smoking. I had no right to assume that he smoked simply out of enjoyment. Some people needed it for whatever reason. I just didn’t understand it when you could simply do other things to relax or…whatever.
“He’s been trying to quit, but he just keeps going back to it,” Ben explained.
“Is it just the smell that bothers you?” Kline asked.
I turned my head to look at him. I shrugged. “It’s mostly the smell, but also the smoke. I have asthma.”
“Shit,” Watson murmured. “To be fair…I don’t smoke a lot. Like I said…it’s a stupid habit. Had I known it bothers you so much, I wouldn’t have gone outside to take a drag.”
I smiled at Watson. “It’s okay, Watson. You didn’t do it to my face. And, like you said, it’s a stupid habit. Everyone has those.”
“Hard to believe you have one,” Leo said with a grin.
He put the plates with the cake on it down, and we each grabbed one.
I started eating the cake, and while they watched me intently, I tried to figure out which bad habit of mine I wanted to admit to. They weren’t life-threatening things, but they happened out of anxiety and boredom, and I had yet to figure out how to stop.
“I bite my nails and pick at my skin. The nail-biting isn’t so bad, but the skin-picking can get bloody sometimes.” Admitting to it to the four men I was starting to really like was hard, but it wasn’t like they couldn’t have figured it out without me speaking about it.
They could look at my hands and see that they weren’t perfectly manicured, like Willa’s, for example. Her nails were naturally long and well taken care of, and she used oils and other hand creams to keep her fingers smooth and pretty. She always had a pretty color on her nails as well, and her hands just suited her overall beauty.
After he was done eating, Bennett reached for my hand, and I let him pull it to his lap reluctantly. He studied it, taking each finger between his forefinger and thumb to inspect them. “Do you do this impulsively?”
I nodded. “Sometimes I don’t even realize that I’m doing it until there’s blood.”
“Is there a root cause for skin-picking?” Leo asked, sounding truly interested.
“I think it’s different for everyone, but for most, it’s because of anxiety.”
“Do you have anxiety?” Watson asked, sounding worried.
I shrugged and smiled gently. “Sometimes. But not the kind where I can’t function. I guess it’s just…me overthinking that causes anxiety. I’m usually pretty confident.”
“We’ve noticed,” Bennett said with a chuckle. He patted the back of my hand, then he let it go again so I could finish my cake. “My bad habit is junk food.”
I looked at him with a surprised expression. “Really?”
“Yeah. I haven’t really told the guys yet, but I’m sure they already know. But I like to head out and get a fat, greasy burger every now and then.”
We all laughed, and Bennett brushed it off with a shrug.
“And he never brings us one,” Watson said with a shake of his head.
Ben grinned. “It’s my bad habit. Let me have it.”
“Since we’re going around talking about bad habits, I guess I’ll have to tell you mine.” Leo took a deep breath and ran both his hands through his blond hair. “I drink way too many energy drinks.”
“Like, Red Bull?”
“Especially Red Bull. I don’t even drink it for the energy. I just like the taste of it,” he admitted.
I found it adorable that after making out with each other, we all sat here in a circle, talking about our bad habits. But that’s what I hoped would come from this. Opening up and getting to know each other better. This wouldn’t just end up being a sexual relationship.
“I enjoy a Red Bull every now and then,” I admitted. “But only mixed with Vodka.”
The guys laughed, and as I ate my last bite of cake, I looked over at Kline. I raised a brow, waiting for him to tell me what he wasn’t so proud of. “What about you, Kline?”
“I don’t have bad habits.”
“That can’t be right. Come on…what’s yours?” I asked.
“Hate to say this…but in all these years of being his friends, we never found a bad habit. He’s perfect,” Watson told me with a chuckle.
I scrunched up my nose. “How?”
“We have no idea. Maybe that’s his bad habit. Being a damn perfectionist,” Leo said.
“Huh…” I studied Kline as he raised a brow at me in amusement.
“You don’t think perfectionism is a bad habit?” he asked.
“It definitely can become bad if it’s excessive. But overall…I don’t think it’s as bad as having a Red Bull addiction.”
We all laughed, and Bennett pulled me to his side with his arm wrapped around my shoulders. “There are many things we’ll learn about each other in the future. Thank you for being honest with us, sweetheart.”
I smiled up at him, then looked at the others. “Thank you for being honest with me too. I had a great evening with you. Again.”
And it wouldn’t be the last.