Chapter 24
Chapter 24
It had never felt this natural for Calvin to have someone in his space. His home had always been his sanctuary. He relied on the solitude and serenity of it to center himself every day. In a world that had showed him no one cared, home was the one place he could unwind the tension in his shoulders and just be .
But now Daphne was here, and he wondered if he’d been missing something all along. He’d found his way through his adult life mostly on his own, thinking it was the best way to keep his head on straight. After all, other people couldn’t be relied on. His family had left him, either through death or neglect. His friends had been as troubled as he was. The only person who had cared had been his manager at the warehouse, and even with him, Calvin knew he’d overstayed his welcome after a few months.
It had never been more comfortable to be with someone than it would’ve been to be alone. Until now. Until he had the weight of Daphne’s legs over his lap and the light of her smile shining on his face. His chest was tight as his thumb stroked the inside of her knee, a soft, insistent yearning growing in the pit of his stomach.
He wanted endless evenings like this. A lifetime of quiet moments, of jokes that would hardly make sense to anyone else. He wanted teasing and soft touches. He wanted to know that someone out there thought of him when no one else did.
The wanting took Calvin by surprise. It was so much deeper than sex. So much more than just companionship. He wanted something that he hadn’t realized existed until now. It was like finding a portal to another world hidden in a house he’d lived in his entire life.
In Daphne’s eyes, he saw an emotion he couldn’t name. It looked like fear and longing and need all wrapped into one. Gulping thickly, he moved his hand an inch higher on her thigh, the denim of her jeans rasping against his palm.
“I should go to bed.” Her whisper seemed to echo all around him, sounding louder than it should have.
Calvin froze, his hand still resting on Daphne’s thigh an inch above her knee. “Of course,” he said, but his voice sounded tight.
“I—I’m sorry—”
“Stop, Daphne,” he interrupted gently. “Don’t apologize.”
Her teeth sank into her bottom lip, chin jerking down. “I’ll see you in the morning?”
“Yeah,” he said, and helped her to her feet. Once she’d retrieved her crutches, Calvin watched her move down the hall and disappear into her room. He sank back down onto the sofa, but it didn’t feel as comfortable as it had a moment ago.
Maybe he was a fool for thinking he could have more. Hadn’t he learned that in life, he always ended up alone? That he had to fend for himself, because no one would be there for him when it counted?
He was wishing for things that could never belong to him. He’d do best to remember that next time he thought he could make Daphne his.
The next morning, they made it to work without mentioning the kiss in the kitchen, even though Calvin found his gaze flicking to Daphne’s lips whenever he thought she wasn’t watching. No matter what he’d told himself the night before, he still wanted her.
By the time they made it to the station, his nerves felt stretched tight from being in the cab of his truck for the short ten-minute drive, surrounded by her scent and her voice and her presence. He was glad when Shirley told him that Chuck and Iris were fighting about the alpacas again, because it gave him an excuse to leave the building. Hank joined him, since the older man had a knack for calming the feuding neighbors.
As they drove out of Carlisle and toward the alpaca farm, the houses gave way to forest and the road began to wind.
“Nice of you to take Daphne in,” Hank said, his eyes on the road ahead of them.
Calvin nodded, one hand on the steering wheel, the other drumming a beat on the door. “She’s not a very difficult houseguest.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.” Hank glanced over and smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Then his smile faded, and he gave Calvin a long look. “Nice girl. Good family. Deserves the best, she does.”
“Are you trying to tell me something, Hank?”
“I’m just saying, she’s not the type of girl a man should toy around with.”
Calvin stiffened. The muscles in his neck went hard. “What makes you think I’m toying around with her?”
Hank lifted his palms, his voice still calm when he said, “I’m just making conversation.”
“If you have something to say to me, just say it, Hank.”
“Daphne is a good girl, Sheriff. Always plays by the rules. Always does the right thing. That’s all. I don’t want to see her hurt.”
“Is that all anyone around here cares about?” Calvin snapped. “How good Daphne is? How responsible? How many boxes she’s ticked in life? How about you ask her if she feels like she’s being toyed with, Hank. How about you ask yourself if there might be more to her than what she lets you see.”
In the pause that followed, Calvin dragged in long breaths and tried to wrangle his temper back under control. He was on edge from last night. Frustrated at his own feelings, his own desires. And he was mad that everyone on this godforsaken island seemed to see Daphne as a one-dimensional person who was only good at accounting and doing the right fucking thing.
“I see,” Hank replied quietly when Calvin’s breathing had returned to normal. “I apologize for overstepping.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Calvin’s voice was still harsh. His knuckles were white on the steering wheel, his eyes glued to the road ahead. He was seething.
“I misread the situation, Sheriff. That’s all. I didn’t think this thing between the two of you was the real deal.”
Calvin almost laughed. Was it real? What the hell was going on? They’d agreed to go to his mother’s vow renewal because Daphne was trying to salvage her reputation, and Calvin ... Calvin didn’t know what he was doing. He was taking whatever scraps of attention he could get, even though he knew it would end badly.
A few minutes later, they pulled into Iris Whittaker’s long gravel driveway. She was wearing rubber boots and an old winter jacket, glaring at two soggy alpacas who were munching on her grass. She was a short woman of about seventy, her head crowned in gray-and-white curls. Today, the shotgun was absent, which sent a little dart of relief through Calvin’s chest.
Sneering at Calvin and Hank as they parked and got out of his truck, she thrust her arm at the animals. “You see what I have to deal with? They’re worse than the deer!”
“Now, Iris,” Hank said, ambling over to her porch. “We’ll get this figured out. No need to get upset.”
“‘Upset. Upset’!” The woman’s face went red. “You watch your tone, young man.”
Hank propped a foot on the first step of her porch and gave her a respectful nod. Calvin turned at the sound of an engine. Chuck Rutgers came bouncing down the driveway in a rusty old Ford, glaring at Iris through the windshield. Sighing, Calvin turned to face the other man, lifting an arm to get him to stop.
Chuck had wispy hair that grew in a ring around his head just above his ears. He slammed a hat over his pate as he parked next to Calvin’s truck. The Ford’s door flung open, and Chuck stomped out. He glared at the woman on the porch.
“You’ve been taunting them, haven’t you?” he accused.
“Get your filthy animals off my property!” Iris sneered as she spoke, pointing a gnarled finger at Chuck.
“Who’re you callin’ filthy?”
Hank sighed and exchanged a tired glance with Calvin. He held up his hands. “Let’s just all take a deep breath, folks. Chuck, I’m going to ask you to take a step back. Iris, if you wouldn’t mind going inside the house for a moment.”
“Not while he’s on my land, I won’t,” she said, blazing eyes glued on Chuck’s face.
Chuck smirked, and Calvin wondered if the older man let his alpacas out on purpose to antagonize Iris. He wondered if he lived near Daphne for decades without being able to call her his woman, whether he’d resort to the same just to get her attention.
An hour later, the alpacas were back in their pasture, a heavy squall of rain had hit the island, and Calvin and Hank were on the way back to the station.
“I give ’em three days,” Hank said. “You?”
“Maybe three hours,” Calvin grumbled. “Did Chuck and Iris ever date?”
Hank laughed. “Married, divorced, then married again. The second divorce was messy.”
“And now they live next to each other.”
“Can’t stand each other. Can’t stand being apart,” Hank agreed.
Calvin hummed. He slid into his parking spot and jogged into the station, jacket pulled up over his head to block the rain. As soon as he was inside, he noticed the clump of deputies standing by the kitchen hallway, sipping coffee, chattering animatedly.
He was sick of people. Sick of all the bullshit. Sick of never getting what he really wanted. He stripped his wet jacket off and hung it up just inside his office door.
That’s when he heard his mother’s voice.