Chapter 33
Charles Fletcher
" B oys! Why'd ya disappear so quickly?" I barged into Eric's old bedroom and interrupted them whispering about something. They spun around, fright splashed across their faces, but they recovered with a quick smile. That was until Eric's eyes drifted to the case in my hand.
"Dad!" He hurried over to me. "What are you doing with those? You know you're not supposed to be drinking with the meds." Eric swiped the case of beer from my hands.
"They weren't for me." I pulled in my brows and studied them. "It's been a while since we all caught up with each other. Thought I'd kick back with the boys like old times. Hang out, out back, introduce you to the gang."
"Yeah, okay, Dad. We'll meet you downstairs in a minute." His smile strained and he kept looking at the door. I knew when I wasn't welcomed. I was about to leave, but the darkness in Ryan's eyes as he sized up the beer paused me. A familiar darkness I'd seen in the mirror. In my wife's eyes. He was the only one not faking a smile.
And I could tell the others were faking it because, well, I knew my son and Ethan and Matt were posed awkwardly against the bed and the wall. If I closed my eyes and became still, I'd be able to hear their heartbeats.
"Did something else happen?" I asked.
All four of them started looking around the room, brows pulled together, almost like a performance.
"Something else?" Eric walked closer to me. He was being subtle about it but he was backing me up, out the door.
"Yeah. I know I've been super paranoid lately, but everything's alright, right? It's not something to do with Lily again, is it?" I asked.
"Dad." Eric scoffed, but he dropped his eyes from mine. "It's just the flight over here, we didn't get much sleep last night and things have just been moving super fast."
"Ah, so it's about the wedding. You're getting cold feet." I nodded.
He let out a breath. Of relief? Huh. Odd. "Yeah, that's it."
Going to make a wild guess and say it's not.
"What about you, Ryan? Is it the wedding too?" I asked.
"Yeah." He grunted. "What else would it be?" Ryan caught his tone and looked up at me with an apology and tight smile.
"Yeah, and we kinda didn't know the house was going to be this crowded. We were just trying to figure out where we're going to stay," Eric added.
"Oh!" I sighed. "Well, you should've rung first. I would've told you. I mean, it's lonely in a big old house and having more nurses and caregivers around us, doctors who can check in on us has been a big help. Plus a lot of them are veterans with nothing else to fall back on. It just felt right to share the space. It helps us feel as if we're giving back. Makes us feel like we're good for something, you know?" My stomach rolled.
It makes me feel like not jumping off a cliff headfirst, more like. It gives me hope that we won't burn for eternity for all the shit we've done. We can't take back the lives we claimed, but we can do something for the people around us.
Doing what we did for Lily helped me and my wife see that our lives are good for something, it reunited us with other retired and dishonorably discharged vets who we didn't realize were having a hard time after leaving the army. They had skills that could help us, we had the money to pay them, it sounded like a win-win. Especially to have people in the house that understand where we've been, what we've done and we can talk about it together.
"I'm sorry. But you guys can get a hotel, can't you?" I asked. "I know you guys just bought a whole island together, so you might not have much extra cash lying around..."
"No, no. That's okay. You're right. We can get a hotel." Ethan smiled. Eric almost wrung his own neck, the way he whipped around to glare at him. Ethan ignored him.
"Are you guys sure that's all?" I pressed.
Eric jerked around again. "Yeah." His voice rasped. "Yeah. I was just looking forward to spending time with you guys, that's all." He patted me on the shoulder. "But I guess you don't need me anymore." A half smile.
"Aw, son. That's a good thing, isn't it? And we can still hang out. There's no rush, is there? Meet me out back, I'll gather all the guys, do a bit of fishing, drink some beers..."
His eyes narrowed at me and I chuckled.
"You guys can drink some beers," I corrected myself.
Ryan rubbed the back of his neck and started pacing. There's that niggling feeling again.
"If there was anything wrong, you'd tell me, right?" I paused outside the door. "Are you in trouble? You know you can tell me anything?"
"In trouble?" Eric shook his head. "Why would we be in trouble?"
With a breath and a sense that I was being paranoid again, I left.