Chapter 58
Lily
I t was surreal, standing there, facing the mirror in a wedding dress. I hadn't pictured this growing up. Yet, I knew in my heart, it was always meant to be this way. Me, about to marry my four men. Not in this dress though. It had too much lace around the neck and arms.
"Oh, darling. You look perfect." The maternal sniffle came from Eric's mother.
His parents had come as soon as they heard the news two weeks ago. Mrs. Fletcher had been by my side, helping me plan the whole thing ever since. It was going to be a bummer to tell her I didn't like this dress.
"You look just like I did when I married Charles. Oh, I have to get a picture." She pulled out her phone, blinking the tears away from her eyes and laughing as she did.
My eyes also filled with tears. I wished my birth mother would react the same way. I hadn't been able to reach her since I told her to leave. Straightening the fabric at my belly, I swallowed the saltiness and smiled for Mrs. Fletcher.
"Oh, look how beautiful you look!" She turned the phone toward me. "Doesn't she look beautiful?"
The bridal consultant beamed. "Absolutely perfect."
Well, damn. They might just convince me to get the damn dress.
"And have you decided on your maid of honor's dress?" She turned me toward the mirror.
I cleared my stinging throat. "I haven't heard back from Ann-Marie either." The tears sprang forth at the end of my words and I could kick myself. "Sorry."
"Oh, baby." Mrs. Fletcher turned me toward her and wrapped her arms around me. Despite the muscle she still managed to hold onto, the warmth seeped through me. This was what I would have wanted from my own mother. But I couldn't force her to be something she wasn't.
In the short time I'd known this woman, she'd been more of a mother to me than my own ever had been. Instead of letting that kill me, I held her tighter.
"Thank you so much for being here." I allowed my head to rest against her welcoming shoulders.
"Of course, sweetheart. Listen, you have made my son happy. And his friends." She pulled back and raised her brows. I scrunched my nose and one eye fell shut. I kept forgetting this wasn't normal. She pinched my cheek. "You've made me very happy. My husband. There's just something about you, kid. You're worth more than you know." She smiled.
I struggled to believe that.
She gulped down the rising emotion. Really, I didn't deserve this much of her attentiveness. If she knew me well enough, she'd leave. I'd spent my life blaming my parents. But what was the reason for my best friend ghosting me? Oh, fuck. Were the guys with me because I was good in bed or because they loved me? Shit, they were going to leave me too.
Where the hell were these thoughts coming from?
As if she could read them, Mrs. Fletcher held my shoulders firm. "You coming into our lives has been the biggest blessing. You've turned a pretty shitty year into one that makes me thankful I'm alive. I'm so happy to be here. We all are."
A shiver ran through my body at that and she rubbed my shoulders, thinking I was cold. I wasn't, just overwhelmed. "I need a moment." I gave a weak smile and she nodded as I turned away and headed back into the changing room.
I wanted to marry my men. I didn't want to wait a second longer. But what if my mother was right? Not about them being dangerous. About me being stupid. She was batshit crazy, but she might see something in me that I'd allowed myself to become blind to seeing. I was unloveable. Being loved by four men was impossible. Being desired by them? Sure. But loved and married? This was a clown's parade. What did they have to lose? Matt and Ethan were rich. If this marriage didn't work out, they'd be fine. I wouldn't be. I was deluding myself. Still, they hadn't made me sign a pre-nup, so they must be in this for the long haul as well.
Damn it to hell, my mother's voice would forever live on inside my head. Looking up at the ceiling, I took a heavy-laden breath. I reached for my phone, intending to call her, but fuck, I just knew I was going to see something I didn't want to see.
Alas, I was right. Another one of those fucking messages. That had to be my mother. Fuck it. I wouldn't give her the benefit of driving me crazy. I wouldn't feed her by calling her. Instead, I tried Ann-Marie. Once again, the number went to voicemail. I ran through everything we'd said to each other. I hadn't done anything to upset her. Why would she—Wait, the last time we spoke, she had to leave. This number was the new one she called me from. I hadn't been able to reach her on it since.
Oh shit, was she on the run? From whom? She had been with her husband, but our conversation was so final. If he had done anything to hurt her... Or if her exes from her past had found her. There I was with my selfish ass, thinking she wasn't here because she had turned against me for no reason, when she could have been in trouble. My old phone had gotten smashed in the kidnapping, but there was a way to recover old numbers. I didn't know if that would help, but it was a damn good place to start. I was hoping that she would answer that number at least and I would find out that I was overreacting. Then I could give her a good tongue-lashing for cutting off all contact. Oh, please. Let Ann-Marie be okay.