Chapter 36
Matt
L ily and I tumbled into the grass, dizzy from the human merry-go-round ride I put us both on. Her laugh put me at ease, muffling my doubts and fears. This was home. And I'm not talking about the house; I'm talking about this. Her freedom, her laughter, her total and complete trust in us, a comforting and unnerving thing.
She was on top of me, her short, messier than usual bob falling over her face. Her eyes twinkled at me, and I knew that I'd be the guard at the gate of this home, my home in her, for the rest of my life.
"You know I'd do anything for you, right?" I cradled her face; my eyes followed my hand over every remarkable feature.
"And I'd do anything for you." She grinned back.
Something inside my chest sprang free at that. "Anything?"
She nodded, lowering her lips to mine before I could ask her to elaborate. Her hand smoothed over my shoulder and down my chest. Her kisses grew more demanding. My hand stole its way up her spine. Did I mention that we were stripped down to our underwear, our clothes strung across the landscape in different directions? She was laying across me in sheer white panties and a matching bra, against the backdrop of the sunset glow, manicured grass and delicate verdure.
Irresistible.
I hoped there was electricity on this property, and it wasn't something we'd have to set up later, because bugs or no bugs, we were going to be here for a while. Although, I thought Ethan had separate plans. The boat guy was supposed to come back for us. But I'd rather stay here. I was already in heaven; I didn't need anything else. We'd spend the night in the grass if we had to. This island didn't come with wild fauna, did it?
Okay, we could spend the night on the floors inside, instead. If they were clean enough. I was thinking too much, and that was the last thing I wanted to do. Once I started thinking, my mind would start drifting to dangerous places, and I'd like to live in this moment. Not this morning's moment. Not even a few minutes ago. Just this moment, of Lily and the knowledge that she was safe, here with us, with me, mine, ours.
And she was stupefying me with the awe in her gaze as she regarded me as if I wasn't just dessert she wanted to devour, but as if I was a gift she must treasure. I felt the same way about her. I didn't want her to ever lose that look in her eyes. Tears came to mine at the thought of it.
I kissed her again to hide this wave of emotion that intended to drown me and wrapped my arms around her waist and back, holding her tight against me. She moaned, grinding her hips against me, wrapping her arms around my neck as I rolled her on her back.
Before I was too lost in her to form sensible thoughts, I broke the kiss. She panted against my cheek, continuing her kisses there and down my neck. The separation of lips lifted me from the fog, and her hot body against mine reminded me that this was a moment in time that could be lost if I didn't play my cards right. And I hadn't played my cards right.
Gulping, I searched her glossy globes for reassurance.
"Tell me you mean that?" I leaned up off her, on both arms, to get a full view of her, needing to confirm her honesty.
"Mean what?" She asked, nipping my ear and lowering her hand to stroke me ready. I wasn't there yet. I couldn't be, not with these doubts suffocating me. Still, I wouldn't stop her determined hand. I wanted her.
"That you'll do anything for me. That you'll never leave me, Lily. Any of us." I fixed her with a pleading stare.
"What's this about?" She creased her brow and reached up to run her hand through my short brown hair. "We've had this conversation before."
"I know." I whispered, turning my head briefly, away from her study.
When we had that conversation then, I was only considering what it would be like to see Terry and Carter punished. I hadn't even known the second kidnapper's name yet. He was a nobody to me. Now, I had both their blood on my hands. There was a difference. Things had changed, even if she didn't know it yet.
"Please. I need to hear you say it, that any struggles that arise, we'll work through it together." I lowered my lips to hers again when my body was rocked by that damn vulnerability that wanted to turn me into a puddle at her side.
She kissed me tentatively, stroking my back and soothing me, which turned the waterworks on at full force, except I was holding it inside, internally drowning. "I mean it, Lily." I pushed through, choking on my words, my voice hoarse. "You're my world. My everything. The only home I've ever known. I can't lose you. I meant it when I said I'd do anything for you." I put intention on the word 'anything', repeating it for her understanding, despite knowing she couldn't begin to fathom how much I meant it.
Her orbs welled up too, glistening like a crystal in the sun. "I meant it when I said it too." She assured me, nodding and pressing her lips to mine.
Passion and emotion combined in a heady mix, and I was breathless when I pulled away, needing to prove the doubts still running wild inside my head wrong. "Did you? For better or for worse?" I asked.
She let out a breath and a soft laugh. "Slow down, next you'll be asking me to marry you." Her arms hooked around my neck, her thumb massaged my scalp, and her eyes danced as they searched mine.
My heart bloomed, growing butterfly wings, and I hooked my arms beneath her body, ignoring the grass burns. Her heartbeat mixed with mine, leaving us both breathless. "What if I am? We're building a life together, aren't we? This is it for me. What about you?"
I felt the answer in our aligned heartbeats. Despite my doubts, I knew that we were all made for each other, meant to be together. I knew she felt the same, as much as I knew my own name.
I also knew that feelings change.
It's about commitment despite feelings, if that makes any sense. And I had her word that she was mine forever, and it wasn't just something she was saying because we were both naked in the grass and her arousal was strong in the air, in the rock-hard nipples pressing into my chest and the flush in her cheeks that was still prominent even in the dimness of the lowering glow. It was her word and my proposal that had me pressing up against that damp spot between her legs, letting her arousal perfume my boxers.
Yet, she hesitated, swallowing. Her eyes grew glossy and her lips met mine again, frantically, nervous? Her hand pushed through my underpants, jerking my cock until I was helpless and full, throbbing in her hand.
"Is that a yes?" I groaned, biting her lip, unable to see anything as my eyes misted.
"How would that work?" she asked.
"Hm?" I muttered, forgetting anything but the magic of her warm, smooth hand.
She smiled that sexy smile of hers, watching me as she made a fool of me. "Marrying you, how would that work? I'm in a relationship with three other men, remember?"
Pulling her hand away from me before I busted and missed out on the experience of her body, I pinned her hands above her head. Let her be the one to moan with desperation this time. With one hand, I restrained her. With the other, I pushed her bra off her modest breasts, rubbing my cock against her and licking my lips as she bit hers.
"I'm sure we can figure out how to include them too. What do you say?" Cupping her breast and rolling the nipple against my palm and in between my fingers, I took pleasure in the warmth of her breath against my lips, the tension in her face as I tugged on the pink bud a little too hard.
"Yes." She nodded as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She bobbed her head up and down, frantically, moaning. "Yes."
"I'm sorry, is that a yes to my question or..." I teased, grinning as she swore and locked her legs around my hips. She moved toward my lips and I dodged her.
"Yes. Yes to both, okay?!" she cried, grinding her cunt against the head of my cock beneath my fucking boxers and it was game over.
Swearing, I shifted her panties to the side. All stress and doubt left my body as my fingers slipped along her slickness. Fuck, I needed some of that sweet nectar and I took it, first, sucking it off my fingers and kissing her so that I could taste the sweetness of her mouth and pussy all at once, while finger-fucking her until she was coming apart around my hand. And next, by tasting more of her body in one go, lips to tits, to cunt, to asshole. All of her, so sweet, I might pass out.
Unable to keep punishing myself any further, I set my desperate cock free. It leaked pre-cum into the grass. The feathery strokes of the green blades sent my eyes to the back of my head and I raised up, ripped her panties off and sank into her. My mouth fell open from the suction that her hungry pussy used to trap me inside her.
She cried out, arching her back and moaning my name. "Matt," she breathed. "I love you...so much." Her words vibrated along with her orgasm which found her seconds after penetration.
Shit.
"Fuck, I love you too," I groaned.
I meant that with every bone in my body, and especially with this 'bone' in her body, pumping her until I was spilling inside her, her heat and mine creating an inferno.
This woman? It might be the endorphins talking, but I didn't regret a single thing about doing what had to be done. I'd protect this woman with my life, give up everything to keep her, even if that meant my integrity, even if that meant lying to her for the rest of our lives. I knew it when I couldn't walk away, despite her being in a relationship with my best friend. I was even more certain of it when I thought I'd lost her forever. She was the best thing that had ever happened to me and I was locked in. I wasn't going anywhere, for better or for worse. Any danger, come what may, I would use all my resources to keep anyone who wished to cause her harm at bay.