Chapter 18
Lily
O f course. The short, coiffed hairstyle, which was highlighted by lighter browns, almost blond in the sunlight. Tonight, under the incandescent lighting, it's darker. The hairstyle was popular enough but paired with the rounded black glasses and dark, trimmed beard, I knew where I'd seen him before. At the wedding. The 'just call me Ethan' guy was Eric's friend.
There's no way. First, Ryan 'ran into me' at the park, which I believed to be a happy coincidence. Now, this Ethan guy is at the Women's Shelter?
In his white fitted T-shirt, which wrapped comfortably around the curves of his arms, and the tapered cut jeans, he didn't look like he could afford to donate 1.5 million dollars. Unless you took a closer look at his watch and shoes. It's eerie bumping into them in separate places this past week, and I know it's a stretch, but could they be following me? Spying on me?
As crazy as it sounded, my throat closed up on me, and the walls narrowed. With desperation, I slipped from the arms of the supportive women next to me and dashed toward the stage exit and out the side door that stepped out into a hallway. My skin vibrated, and my knees knocked together as I picked my pace up toward the bathroom. The hairs on my neck prickled for no reason, and I jumped, hoping no one's following me to make sure I'm okay. I couldn't interact with anyone right then.
Shoving open the bathroom door, I sighed when there's no one inside and shut it behind me. Splashing cold water on my face, I tried to convince myself that I'm overreacting. But my mind filled with distorted images of Marco. He always had someone watching me. Somehow, he would know which guy flirted with me at the grocery store, or whether someone catcalled me on the street, whether I smiled with them or not. It was like walking around with a camera attached to me or something. He'd beat the shit out of me for giving anyone the slightest attention until I stopped talking to anyone at all and kept my head down everywhere I went.
Gripping the counter, I reminded myself that Marco is history, and Eric would have no reason to send his friends to spy on me after so long. For what? And to go as far as to make up a story about a drug-addicted mother or donating more money than I can imagine earning in my entire life? He can't be that crazy or extreme.
Still, there's no convincing my brain when I stepped out of the bathroom, fooled into thinking I had it under control, only to run into 'just call me Ethan."
Ethan
We almost bumped into each other as Lily rushed out of the bathroom. She's looking at her feet, and I hesitated, unsure what to say to her. That speech was inspiring to say the least, but I'm unsure whether she'd welcome the invasiveness, especially if she's recognized me. However, at the sight of her damp cheeks, alarms went off inside me. Has she been crying?
"Lily," I called out to her.
She stumbled, almost stopping in her tracks.
"Hey." I hurried up behind her, but she hurried up as well, toward the exit. Leaving the banquet.
Sharing that story must have taken a toll on her. Looking around for someone to go after her and seeing, through the glass doors, that she's moving toward her car, I made a split decision. Pretty sure I'm not the one she wants consolation from, but no one else has spotted her leaving. She's moving so fast.
Swinging the door open, I ran after her. "It's Lily, right? Eric's friend?" I shouted louder. She dropped her keys, giving me time to catch up to her. She's trembling when she turned around.
"What do you want?" Her voice was meek, as she dashed her eyes all over the place. Is she scared of me?
Backing off, I held my hands up. "I'm Eric's friend." In my attempt to meet her eyes, she looked away, wrapping her arms around her body, shrinking into herself. "I don't mean any harm. I promise. I heard your speech in there, and I just wanted to check if you're okay."
She nodded. "Yeah. I am."
She took small steps backward to her car. It's obvious I was freaking her out, although I wasn't sure why. Her eyes were bloodshot and from what she said about self-medicating in the past, I wondered if she had just taken something in the bathroom. But it wasn't my place to ask or even assume that.
"Are you sure?" My attempt to make eye contact failed again. "Would you like me to get someone?"
"No. I'm okay." She shook her head and offered me a smile. It didn't meet her eyes. In fact, she was still trembling. Her lips were shaking. It was like she was trying to be as agreeable as she could to get me to step away, which was less like the drug shakes and more like terror. The parking lot was dark and empty, and she had no reason to trust any man, even worse, someone chasing her down out here, with no witnesses. Damn, the men in her life had fucked her up. She may have recovered from drugs due to her strong willpower, but she hadn't recovered from everything else, the stuff that was embedded in her veins.
As much as I wanted to stay and convince her I wasn't a threat, I knew the best way to do that was to leave. She gulped as I backed away. The further I got, her ease became more visible. Satisfied that she wasn't in imminent danger of a relapse, I waved her off. "Okay, well, it was nice seeing you again?" I made my voice more high-pitched but gentle. "Take care of yourself."
By the time I turned around, the car door slammed, and the engine rolled over.
"Guys! I brought food," I said, resting the cloth bag filled with container boxes of collard greens, biscuits and gravy, fried chicken, baked macaroni and cheese, and creamy shrimp dishes.
Food is the way to a man's heart, and by the way the guys hurried into the kitchen like they were responding to a signal, I could attest to that. Ms. Patsy got that right when she packed up boxes of food for me to take home, for the days ahead. There was no refusing her offer, and I was glad I hadn't. After Lily left, I found it hard to eat anything else for the next couple of hours.
"Appreciate you, brother," Eric sang as he, along with Ryan and Matt, pulled out containers, checking the boxes. "Mm! I can't wait to dig into this mac and cheese, man!" He salivated. You'd think these men were starving.
Grabbing plates and silverware, I laid them out on the counter. "So..." I paced myself. "You won't guess who I ran into tonight."
"Who?" Matt asked, grabbing some cans of beer from the fridge and handing them out.
Eric plopped the macaroni and cheese in the microwave and watched it as it warmed up.
"Uh... Lily," I said, popping the beer can open and gulping some down. Eric spun around as fast as lightning. Ryan's fork clattered to the ground. Matt sighed as he shared some food for himself.
It was unexpected when Ryan spoke first. "What did she say?" he asked, eyes wide. Eric turned to look at him and back at me, before repeating his question.
"Bet she was an ass, as usual." Matt rolled his eyes.
Ryan, Eric, and I All turned to stare laser beams into him. He froze.
"What? She wasn't?" Matt defended, with a mouthful of food.
"Matt, don't play with me," Eric warned.
"Yeah, watch it," Ryan added.
I knew why I'm protective of Lily. I knew why Eric was. But why was Ryan? As Eric and I turned our attention to him, he broke under the pressure of our gaze.
"I ran into her the other day too. She wasn't doing too well," he admitted.
"What? When? Why didn't you tell me?" Eric yelled. "What happened?"
Ryan recounted running into her at the park, about meeting her catatonic mother and giving her a ride home, which was surprising to me when she couldn't get away from me fast enough. Granted, we were alone in a dark parking lot. When I relayed her speech to him, the beeping of the microwave went off behind him, but he's deafened to it.
"I had no idea." He took a seat as though his body weight was too much to bear.
"Yeah." I rubbed his shoulder. My feelings for her aside, he's the person she trusted once before and can trust again. No one deserves Lily's trust more than Eric. "I know we said you should forget about her, but I think she needs someone." Recalling the way she spoke about Eric in her speech, I believed that someone she needed was him. "Even if all she needs is a friend, nothing more," I begged, internally.
Ryan cleared his throat and rubbed Eric's other shoulder. "Yeah, man. I agree. She needs a friend, and you used to be her best friend."
Eric's features dragged as he rested his forehead into his hands. "I shouldn't have abandoned her."
Matt scoffed. "You weren't to know, dude. You've got to let that go."
Ryan and I scowled at him, communicating with our eyes for him to shut the fuck up.
"No, this is ridiculous. You were a kid, and you were friends, not her damn babysitter. It wasn't your responsibility then to fill the missing gap, and it isn't your responsibility now. So what if you left without saying goodbye ten years ago? It was ten flipping years ago! She had a right to be mad then, but for fuck's sake, people grow up. They mature; they understand things. She isn't a kid anymore. It's her responsibility to sort out that abandonment wound and not leave that up to you to heal. You're not her carer."
"That's enough!" Ryan yelled, slamming his hand down on the counter. The room fell to silence as we all looked at him. Ryan's voice shook as he pulled himself together, avoiding eye contact with us. "She doesn't have it easy. And none of that stuff from the past matters here. She needs a friend, and the closest out of all of us that she'll trust is Eric. He can't just walk away from her," he grunted, gripping the tiled countertop before walking out of the room.
"What's the matter with him?" Matt asked. My breath was scorching as it moved through my body. Shaking my head, I squeezed Eric's shoulder, all the while thinking about Lily and needing to hug her, while also wanting to slap Matt upside the head. "Eric, I'm just looking out for you, man. You don't need that toxicity in your life," he said.
Eric jumped up from his chair. "Yeah, well, do me a favor? Don't look out for me, then. You don't get to tell me what I need." With that, he left the kitchen, his heated macaroni and cheese untouched.
"Come on, dude. You must understand," Matt reasoned with me.
I didn't look at him, because if I did, I'd slap him. "You didn't see her, man," I grunted, taking my plate to my room and leaving him in the kitchen alone.