Chapter 34
Eric
S o, I lost the game. But it's only because of the sweat stinging my eyes. I'm fine in the ocean with salt water, but my own body's salt water is too much for me to handle. Go figure.
Rinsing the sting from my eyes with cold water as the other guys on the court jeered me for hyping myself up too much, I spotted Matt and Lily leaning up against the wire fence. At first, I didn't know who he was talking to. I thought he was just shooting his shot at a hot girl because his body was shielding Mrs. Thornbread and her wheelchair. But then, I saw that the hot girl was Lily. My Lily.
Oh, he better not have been shooting his shot at her. I'm okay with sharing, not with snatching. Jumping up from the concrete seats which were also hot as hell, I made my way over to them. Ethan pulled his damp shirt off his face in time to see me. He jumped up from his reclined position.
"Hey, where are you...? Oh." He must have spotted Lily as his words trailed off.
Ryan turned around to look at us, red sports drink perched at his lips. He almost dropped the bottle when he saw Lily. Damn, he could've been a little bit more subtle than that. He fell into step behind us, and we marched toward them like the three stooges. My heart galloped at the sight of her.
The last few weeks, I've been trying to find my peace without her, respecting her wishes, deciding not to fight for her if she's not willing to fight for me, but I'll be damned if I let one of my best friends snatch her up from right underneath me, or worse, proposition her to group sex, revealing to her that I said I was okay with it. I don't want her to think I don't value her and as I stalked toward them, I'm reassured that my love and value of her is as bountiful as ever, regardless of my being okay with sharing her. Because my belly was doing that flip-flop flutter thing, and I'm nervous over what her response would be when I butt into their conversation. Still, Matt has more tact than that, even if my hormones are telling me otherwise.
When my eyes caught onto hers, I watched her cheeks turn crimson, and her eyes darkened with desire. My pounding heartbeat settled into a steady drum. She still felt something for me. That's good. It would've been nice if she had reached out and said something, but that doesn't matter right now.
"Hey, Lily." I smiled when I got close enough. "Mrs. Thornbread," I acknowledged.
Matt jumped away from both of them like the place between them caught on fire. I locked my eyes onto his with a warning. He shook his head, smirking.
"So, what have you guys been talking about?" I asked, pulling my gaze away from his.
"Are you jealous?" Lily responded.
Knowing from her history that this isn't a cutesy comeback from her, I'm honest. "Only if he's trying to steal you from me."
That didn't satisfy her. "I didn't think I was yours to steal."
Noting her discomfort, I did away with the accusation. "I'm sorry. It really doesn't matter to me what you do with him." Her eyebrows shot up in her hairline like I'd just slapped her in the face. I rushed to soften my words. "Ah hell, Lily. I don't mean it like that. I mean, not exactly. I just get worried I might lose you to him, that's all. But I can't tell you who to talk to, and I guess technically, I've already lost you." I cleared my throat, wondering if it was a bad idea to come over here. I was having a great day, seeing her made it even brighter, but I kept talking myself into an early grave.
She narrowed her eyes at me, locked her mother's wheelchair in place, and crossed her arms. "Why would you be worried about losing me to him?"
Well, I couldn't outrightly say 'because he's attracted to you.' Besides, she heard it. And if I were to even say that, I couldn't without implying that I didn't trust her not to go there.
"I'm sorry," I breathed, the rising pressure inside me needing a release.
She unfolded her arms and sighed. "I'm sorry, too."
Smiling, I stepped closer to her, unable to stop myself. "Why? What have you got to be sorry about?"
She dropped her eyes from mine. What's she hiding? "Nothing," she said.
As I said, it didn't matter. As long as I hadn't lost her. But if she's hiding an attraction to Matt, I'd prefer if she told me. It would be mutually beneficial for certain. But I wouldn't push her.
"I miss you," I confessed, reaching out to tug on her large T-shirt. She moved closer to me, our gazes magnetized to each other.
"Come on, Mrs. Thornbread. Let's get you out of the sun. They're going to be here awhile," Matt joked, pulling her wheelchair toward the shade.
"We should probably head over there too." Lily nodded toward the tree.
"Yeah," I agreed, sweat running off my body like a waterfall.
Slipping my hand in hers while we walked, I smiled when she laced her fingers through mine.
Every time she and Ryan glanced at each other, though, she pulled her eyes away, to the ground, like someone caught staring. Ugh, how do I ask her if she has a thing for Ryan without offending her? How do I let her know I'm okay with it? There's a huge elephant in the room and if we can't get past it, I don't know how we're going to be together, and that breaks my heart. I took a deep breath, and it's loud enough for her to hear it.
She turned to me. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." I half-smiled. We didn't trust each other enough to open up. But it's been weeks without her. The last thing I wanted to do was focus on what could keep us apart.
"So, Lily's agreed to come to the fair with us." Matt broke through my thoughts.
"What fair?" Ethan asked. I'm just as confused.
"The fair I've been telling you guys about. Don't you listen when I talk?" Matt grumbled. "Anyway, it should be fun and carefree. I didn't get to enjoy public fairs as a kid. My parents wouldn't be caught dead there. And my nanny was under strict instructions not to make me mix with the poor kids."
"Ugh." Lily scowled. "Sorry. I didn't mean to disrespect your parents." She covered her mouth.
He laughed. "It's okay. It is 'ugh.'" He reassured her. "But it's a family affair, and these guys are the closest I've had to a real family. I've never been to a fair. I kinda want to fulfill that dream of mine."
"That's really sweet. I didn't know," Lily said softly.
"Fine. We'll go to the fair. It's not all it's cracked up to be, though," Ryan said. "It's a lot of screaming kids, headaches from the sun..."
"That's what Lily said. Are you two just party poopers?" Matt asked.
Ryan and Lily did that 'looking at each other and looking away' thing again. Oh, Lily. If you like him, just say something. It'd make things a whole lot easier. But, whatever. It's down to whatever she wants. I'd been consumed with how she might feel about them for the past few weeks anyway, and I'd forgotten what it's like when it's just us.
So, I pulled her toward me to whisper in her ear. "How about I walk you home?"
Her skin flushed, and I smiled. At least I knew I still had that effect on her. But I wanted us to build something deeper. I knew we had something deep in the past, and I knew those feelings were still there, but it's the trust between us that needs mending. We need to start over.
"I promise I don't have any ulterior motives." I grinned. "I just miss spending time with you."