Chapter 32
Ryker
Two Years Ago
“When I meet the man of my dreams, I want him to woo me with flowers and chocolates and poems,” Mila said to Lara in the living room.
“Poems?” I spoke up and sat on the couch next to them. “What sort of pansy is going to be writing you poems?”
“A man full of romance.” Mila rolled her eyes at me. “A man who loves me more than life itself.”
“You’ve been reading too many of those romance books, Mila.” I shook my head. “I don’t know any guy who’s writing love poetry.”
“I know plenty of guys who do,” Lara said with an encouraging smile. “Don’t listen to Ryker. He’s just jaded because he doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body.”
“I know. He doesn’t.” Mila stuck her tongue out at me and laughed. “When I fall in love and meet my soulmate, I want to be so special to him that he’d give up his life for me.”
“Give up his life, huh?”
“Yup.” She grinned. “He would give up his life, his happiness, his everything just to be with me.”
“Would he give up his dog?” I asked with a grin.
“If he had to,” she said, not even blinking.
“Would he give up his car?”
“That’s not even a question.”
“Would he give up his job?” I continued, grinning.
“He’d give up everything because he loves me so much.”
“Would you really want a guy who would give up everything just to be with you? He sounds like a bit of a loser. Have some self-respect, man.”
“He does have self-respect.” Mila frowned at me. “He’ll just love me so much that nothing else matters but making me happy.”
“Good luck with that,” I said and reached for the remote control. “You might be waiting a long time.”
“I know you don’t believe in soulmates, but I do,” she said wistfully, her expression changing.
“I just want to meet that one guy who will think of me first. I want to meet that one guy who truly cares about my feelings, my wants, my life. I want that guy who wakes up and smiles thinking about me and falls asleep listening to my voice. I want that one guy who loves me so much that all he cares about is putting a smile on my face and will do anything to make me laugh because seeing me happy would make him happy.”
“Yeah,” Lara agreed. “I’d love to meet a guy like that as well.”
“You girls are living in fantasy land.” I laughed at them. “Those guys do not exist.”
“Just because you’re not like that doesn’t mean they don’t exist,” Mila said and hit me on the arm. “Stop trying to burst our bubble.”
“I’m not trying to burst your bubble, but guys aren’t like that.
We do what we want to get what we want. First thing on our minds is sex, then maybe food, then work, then sex again.
” I laughed at their open mouths. “I’m just being honest. I’ve never done anything for love.
Most guys are not going to put themselves out of their comfort zone for no reward. It just doesn’t work like that.”
“When a guy is in true love, he will do anything and everything for the woman he loves,” Mila said.
“Just to make her happy. If even for one day. Even if it meant he would lose her. A man in true love cares only about doing everything he can to protect and cherish his woman. And that will be the only thing in his mind.”
Who was I to argue with her? I sat back, my heart pounding, and I could feel sadness welling up inside me.
What would it feel like to be a man in love like that?
What would it feel like to be the man in love with Mila like that?
I wasn’t sure that I’d ever want to find out.
It seemed like it would be way more than I’d want to deal with.
Present Day
“How much do I love you?” I looked at Mila’s profile photo on Facebook for what seemed like the tenth time in the last couple of hours.
I stared into her wide-eyed gaze and smiled at the cute, cheeky smile in the photo as she stuck her tongue out.
“Oh, my Mila.” I closed the tab and shut down my laptop.
I couldn’t spend the day staring at her photos again.
I didn’t even use Facebook or other social media much.
I didn’t care about it. I liked to live my life in private, but that hadn’t stopped me from spending hours on the site in the last few days, trying to figure out what she was doing, where she was going, how she was feeling.
She hadn’t made it easy for me, though. She hadn’t updated her page in over a month, so to placate myself I’d spent my hours looking at her old posts and old photos.
I wasn’t sure why I’d become this obsessed person.
I knew I could get the answers I wanted just by talking to her, but then what would that accomplish?
I knew I couldn’t give her any of the answers that she wanted.
I looked down at the files on my desk and grimaced. D-day was nearly here. I had to sign the paperwork within twenty-four hours, which would mean that my father would officially own Mila’s parents’ company, and legally there would be nothing anyone could do about it.
Knock knock.
“Come in,” I said as I looked up at the door, hoping it wasn’t my father about to walk in and pressure me into signing the papers right now. I’d throw them in his face if it were him.
“Why, hey, stud.” Barbie sauntered into the room, and my stomach dropped.
“Hi.” I nodded, not smiling. “How can I help you, Barbie?”
“Is that any way for you to treat your ex-lover?” She sashayed over to my desk and leaned forward, her breasts sticking out toward me.
“We were never lovers.” I glared at her. “What do you want?”
“To change that.” She grinned, and she moved around to the side of my desk. “We can become lovers now.”
“Barbie, what do you want?” I was annoyed by her presence.
She placed her hand on my shoulder. “I just told you.” She leaned over and whispered in my ear, “I want you to fuck me deep and hard.”
“I’m going to give you ten seconds to get out of my office,” I told her and pursed my lips. What the hell did my father see in this woman? She was nothing but an opportunistic slut.
“Really, Ryker? Is that how you’re going to speak to me?
” She spun me in my seat so I was facing her, smirked, then placed her hand on my thigh and ran it up my leg.
“I guess you’re getting some from your little friend, Mila.
Well, I guess I shouldn’t say little; she’s not exactly a size zero, is she?
” She laughed loudly. “But I guess now that your plus-size friend is giving it up to you, you’re too good for me. ”
“Barbie, I’m only going to ask you this one more time, what do you want?”
“You know what I wonder,” she said and sat on the side of my desk.
“I wonder why you’re leading this girl on.
I mean, I get it, men want sex, but really, anyone can see that idiot is in love with you.
And she has no idea who you are or what you’re doing, does she?
” She raised an eyebrow at me. “You think you’re better than your father and me, but are you really?
Leading her on, fucking her, making it hard for her to ever forget you. Is that what a good guy does, Ryker?”
“What’s it to you?” I realized some of what she was saying was true.
How was I any better than her or my dad?
Mila had no idea what was going on, and that was because of me.
And yes, I knew she loved me, and yes, I wanted her to love me, but I didn’t have anything else to offer in return.
Nothing but heartache and heartbreak, and I wasn’t going to pretend that I had anything more.
“Your dad and I want this deal to happen.” Her eyes narrowed, and it was then that I knew my dad had sent her in to handle the situation. He was probably worried that I was going to back out of the deal. Little did he know, I was a hundred percent in at this point.
“I know that,” I said and stood up. “That’s why you’re here?”
“We worked hard to make this happen.” She slid off the desk and stared at me. “I put up with that bimbo for a whole weekend and slept with her brother just to make sure that he was occupied. Don’t make it be for nothing.”
“You slept with Parker because you’re easy.” I didn’t hold back my distaste for her.
“That and because I loved to see the look on that bitch Lara’s face the morning after.
” She threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, the jealousy in her eyes. I would have loved to have seen that look in Mila’s eyes as well.
Could you imagine if she caught us fucking in the shower? She’d still be bawling her eyes out.”
“Get out.” I pointed toward the door.
“Aw, seems like you’ve actually got some feelings left in you still.” She stared at me, her eyes cold. “It’s a pity that you became weak and let yourself fall for her. It will make it harder on you when she walks away for good.”
“Excuse me?”
“You know she’ll never talk to you again, right?” She laughed gleefully. “You can’t seriously think you guys will go back to how it was before? Don’t be an idiot, Ryker.”
“This is none of your business.”
“Oh, it is very much my business.” The smile left her face. “And I’m going to make sure everything goes according to plan. No matter what I have to do or say . . .” Her voice trailed off. “Capiche?”
“Leave my office.” I turned away from her; a chill ran down my spine.
It had suddenly hit me that Barbie was correct about something I’d never considered.
What if Mila never spoke to me again? That wasn’t something I’d been prepared for.
I knew that I’d lose our physical relationship and possibly her love, but losing her from my life forever?
That was unthinkable. Unimaginable. How could I live without her in my life forever?
What sort of life would that be? I heard Barbie finally leaving my office, but I didn’t even look back.
I had greater concerns on my mind now. I picked up the phone and made a call, my heart in my throat.
“Ryker?” Nonno’s voice was subdued.
“We need to talk.”
“I’ve been waiting for this call.” He sighed.
“Can I come over?”
“Okay,” he said stiffly. “I’ll be here.”
“I’ll be there in about thirty minutes,” I said and then hung up, picked up the file from my desk, my briefcase, and jacket, and left the office. I needed to speak to Nonno and see if I could make this right somehow.
“Ryker, would you like anything to drink?” Nonno asked me as I sat down on the couch.
“Some water, thanks.” I nodded and watched as he walked slowly to the kitchen. I looked around his familiar living room and at the photos of Mila as a kid, smiling at her happy face.
“Here we go,” he said as he handed me a glass and sat down next to me. “So, how can I help you?”
“I don’t know that Mila is very happy right now,” I said stiffly, not sure what to say.
“She’s going through an emotional turmoil.” Nonno nodded and leaned back. “She loves you a lot, so this is hard for her.”
“It’s hard for me too.” I sipped my water. “I don’t know that I can go through with this.”
“Ryker, Mila is my granddaughter, and I love her deeply. I would do anything for her. I do not like to see her hurt. I do not like to see her in pain.” He stopped.
“This was your idea, Nonno.” I sighed. “I didn’t want to go through with this.”
“You must,” Nonno said simply. “Her parents are running the business into the ground. There will be nothing left when they are done. The money from your father’s investment will keep Mila afloat for the rest of her life.”
“But she doesn’t even know. Isn’t there another way?”
“She would never go behind her parents’ backs, and I, I can’t.” He leaned back. “You must continue with the deal.”
“I just hate that I’m giving my father what he wants and doing it so deceitfully.” I closed my eyes. “She’s going to hate me. She’s going to think I did this for my dad and myself.”
“She loves you.” Nonno’s voice was soft. “This wasn’t all about the money, you know. This arrangement . . .” He paused, and I opened my eyes and looked at him.
“I have nothing else to offer her, Nonno. I told you that. I told you that before you told me to get into this arrangement. I don’t like having these secrets from her. I don’t want her to think everything has been a huge lie.”
“Ryker, you are like a grandson to me. I know you’ve had a hard life, but try and let her in. All love is not bad. All pain is not bad. Mila is strong. She can handle a relationship. She can handle good times and bad.”
“I don’t want her to have bad times.” I bit down on my lower lip. “She’s going to hate me when she finds out everything I’ve been hiding from her.”
“She’ll know soon enough.” Nonno rubbed his forehead.
“And then her heart will break forever, and she’ll never speak to me again,” I said, my heart sinking as I realized everything that I was going to be giving up.
“We’re doing this for Mila,” Nonno said. “We’re doing this because I can’t see her unhappy. I can’t see her worrying and wondering. I just can’t. I’ve always been her rock.”
“I know.” I nodded. “I know.”
“You must do this for me, Ryker. You must.” He grabbed my hand. “This is for Mila. If she were to know everything. If her parents were to know. It would all go wrong. You know this. You know this is the only way.”
“I know,” I said again.
“Take her to the lake or the beach tonight,” he continued. “Make it a special night. You know she loves nature.”
“I know.”
“Do this for her, Ryker. If you love her, in some way, which I know you do. Make it special. Make it special before it hurts. Because we both know it’s going to hurt.
If you love her in your heart, if you want the best for her, even if you don’t want to tell her.
Do this. Do this for her. This is what we must do.
This is what we do because she’s the most special person in our lives. ”
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to tell him that I didn’t know if this was about Mila or more about him.
However, I kept my mouth shut. What did I know about feelings and love?
Who was I to tell him that the things he was doing out of love were the things that would most probably break her heart more than anything else?