9. Rosy
NINE
ROSY
“Bitch, don’t tell me you were going to sneak past and not tell me how it went?”
I jump out of my skin and spin to find Steph leaning against her bedroom doorframe.
“No?” The lie sounds feeble.
A single dark blonde brow rises sharply above her narrowed eyes. She definitely clocked the lie.
“Okay, maybe,” I confess easily.
I’d barely had time to tell her my plans when I came home earlier to get changed, so I’d given her the update of bumping into Max and Nate over the last couple of days, then told her about dinner tonight.
To say she was excited was an understatement.
The lack of love interests in my life since I’d moved in had shocked and appalled my serial-dating flatmate.
“Tough shit, Ro. I want to know everything,” she demands, skipping over to the sofa and bouncing onto it. “What were they all like? What did you talk about? How did you feel?”
I desperately wanted to decompress in my room, but there’s a part of me that also wants to offload and talk about it all. Walking over, I drop onto the opposite side of the seat, letting my body relax into the cushions as I stare up at the ceiling, trying to shift through my thoughts.
“Nerve-wracking, overwhelming, anxiety-inducing…but I had fun,” I whisper the last part, biting down on my lip to calm all the feelings inside as I turn my head towards her. It feels almost daring to say that, but I can’t deny how good it felt just hanging out with them all.
“That is a fuck-load of feelings, but I’m so pleased you went and enjoyed it. They weren’t pushy with you?” She reaches out and grasps my hand, giving it a squeeze. It’s comforting to have someone in my corner, looking out for me and checking in.
Squeezing back, I reply, “No, they were all so nice. There was definitely no pushing. Max flirts, but he does that with everyone. Oh my god, and the food. It was so good. You need to come with me if I go again. Bry’s the most amazing cook.
” I groan, still feeling too-full from all the food he plied me with.
“Er, I think not. They invited you, not me, and I’ve lived next door to them longer than you have. You deserve to be surrounded by it all. Enjoy it and their attention. Maybe a little action too.” Her tone is teasing.
I slap her arm playfully. “Stop, we’re barely even friends. They were just being nice and neighbourly.” I dismiss her suggestion, even if a certain part of me perks up and agrees with her.
“Fine, ignore me. But don’t say no when you get invited again, and you’re welcome to bring me home a doggy bag and give me all the juicy details.”
I laugh. “I was given an open invitation…”
She squeaks.
“But if I go again, then I will bring you back any leftovers and tell you all about the platonic conversations we had.”
However, if they turned into something more than that…I wouldn’t be opposed. Would I?
“Platonic…right. I call bullshit on that.” She cackles, and I give up trying to persuade her otherwise. “I do need to know more about this open invitation, though.” She shoves a finger at me and squints hard.
I’m glad she brought it up. I’m still confused about it.
It feels too…open ended, and I don’t know if I can just turn up and expect to be fed.
It’s presumptuous and thinking about it makes my skin all itchy.
Plus, some people just say things to be polite without really meaning it.
I don’t have the skill to be able to detect which is heartfelt and which is a polite offer.
“You look like you’re drunk and holding me at gunpoint,” I comment, finger pointing back at her before slumping back into the sofa cushions, wishing they would swallow me whole.
“But I don’t know. What if they didn’t mean it?
Or what if the next time I go, I say something stupid and they want to rescind the offer? ”
There needs to be a book written on understanding what to do in any possible social situation, a dummies guide to peopling.
Just imagine how much easier life would be if that existed.
Or maybe a meteor could hit Earth, then I wake up with telepathy and be able to tell what people are really thinking, instead of having to guess.
“You overthink way too much,” Steph answers, leaning over to pat my aching head. “They invited you, you accepted, so just trust it. If they take it back, then they are the dicks, not you.”
“You’re right, and I’ll try. But I need to go to bed and try to get some sleep.” I sigh, my body resisting and remaining immobile on the cushions, wanting to stay in this cosy moment.
Steph shuffles around to face me. “Is it still that bad?”
“No, no, it’s just a job. I can deal with it. I can’t complain when I have a job while many people don’t,” I respond despondently, because I can deal with it. I think.
She snorts. “So? You're allowed to not like your job. Plus, your boss sounds like a twat. A complete and utter fuckwit of a twat.”
“Mm…maybe.” Steph harumphs. “Okay, he’s a twat.”
We both laugh loudly. It feels weirdly good to get that off my chest.
My laugh tapers off into a yawn. “Fuck, okay. I need to go to bed now.” I heave myself off the sofa. “Good night, and thanks for the chat.”
“Night, sweets.”
I lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. My mind feels overloaded with thoughts from the dinner with the guys this evening. Strangely, not all of them are negative. Yes, I’m worrying about things I said or should have said, but the overriding feeling is…happiness.
Sitting at their table, listening to them chatting to each other, and easily being drawn into conversations felt comforting. It has my stomach fizzing at being included.
It’s been a long time since I felt a part of someone’s circle, not since my nanna, and even then, it was just the two of us.
Max made me laugh; whether it was intentional or not, he had laughter falling effortlessly from my lips.
Bry made me feel looked after; he made sure I wasn’t an afterthought or a burden.
Noah made me feel seen, even though it feels like I know him the least so far.
Nate…well, Nate just feels like a protective wall sheltering me from the world.
Tears sting my eyes, and I blink them back, not wanting the moment to feel so heavy.
Shit. How can something feel both daunting and exhilarating at the same time?
Rolling onto my side, I slide both hands under my pillow and blink through the shadowy darkness until I spot the slight outline of the cat bed, knowing that Moshi is all tucked up inside it.
“Perhaps we will both find some happiness in the world. Night, cutie.” I sigh, and sleep pulls me under with surprising ease.