Chapter 03
“Y ou beat me here.” I said, sliding into the creaky booth of the cafe across from my best friend. This place was so old, my parents had dated here when they were young. Styled to look like a fifties diner, it had turned into more of a hometown Starbucks under the fifth generation of owners.
Becks smiled at me, looking radiant as always. My eyes glanced over at her, taking stock. She looked like she was doing well, all those raven curls thrown up in her typical messy bun, not unlike my own. Her dark eyes narrowed at me behind her glasses.
“Stop giving me the once over, Monica.” she laughed in her husky voice. “Everything is fine.”
I tilted my own brunette head with some sass, pushing my glasses up my nose and leaning forward.
“I can’t help it.” I said. “Ever since everything happened I still expect you to be hurt in some way.” I said, my voice was smaller than it had started out.
Her eyes softened and she put her hand on top of mine, squeezing reassuringly.
“I feel the same way about you.” She said pointedly. “Open up Monica.” She said suddenly. “Talk to me. I know things are hard right now and you’re hurting. You absolutely refuse to talk to anyone-”
“Stop.” I cut her off, alarmed. Sitting back in the booth. I picked up a plastic menu and hid behind it, clearing my throat. “This isn’t about me right now. I’m fine. What were you going to tell me?”
Becks sighed and I could sense her stare through the menu.
“Fine. I’m letting you get away with this one more time, but eventually we’re going to talk, Monica.”
I waved her off, dropping the menu and picking up my mocha latte she’d ordered, to take a sip.
“Mmmmmmm.” It tasted divine.
“I have some news,” she began, still staring at me.
I glanced up at her, taking another sip.
“Mmhmm?” I hummed questioningly.
“I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday.”
I slammed my mug down, the liquid sloshing over the side.
“Are you okay?”
Becks threw her head back and laughed, tears filling her eyes as I looked at her concerned.
“Jesus, Monica,” she said. “ I’m fine. I’m just pregnant.”
I gasped and covered my mouth. “Pregnant?” I shrieked, drawing the eyes of several patrons.
“Shhhhh!” She giggled and nodded, “Two months along. I even know the gender. But I’m not telling anyone because we have a party planned. You’re the only person, other than Lucas, that knows that I’m pregnant. I'm the only one that knows the gender. I couldn’t keep it from you any longer. We just wanted to wait a bit to make sure everything was okay. Because I’m old and shit.” She snorted and laughed, shaking her head.
“Oh, fuck off. You’re not old, Becks. Oh my God. I’m so happy for you!” I said, tears slipping down my face. “A baby.” I whispered.
“Tell that to my doctor. Labeling me a geriatric pregnancy.” She scoffed, sipping her tea.
I thought it was weird she hadn’t ordered coffee.
“It wasn’t planned, obviously. Lucas was fine with Nat being his child, but I guess the universe had other ideas.” she smiled, sliding an ultrasound picture across the table. “I’m drinking decaf for a while,” she grimaced.
“Oh my, God,” I whispered again, fingers tracing the image. “Paul would have been elated.” I blurted out the first thing coming to my mind at the moment.
Becks’ hand covered mine again, her own eyes welling up again. “I know,” she whispered. “Lucas actually got very emotional when we found out. After the initial panicked look and sitting there in silence when I showed him the test of course. His instinct was to call Paul before he….. Mon, are you sure you don’t want to talk?”
“No. Absolutely not.” I said sternly. “This is happy news and a happy occasion. I don’t need to bring anyone down.”
Becks accepted the ultrasound back from me and stared solemnly. “You wouldn’t be bringing anyone down, Mon.” she said. “I feel like with all my happy news and occasions, the engagement, wedding, and now this? I don’t want you to feel like your grief has been brushed aside.”
“Becks,” I shook my head, “Your happiness, and your life being amazing, is keeping me afloat. You and my daughters, of course. Knowing how ecstatic Paul was for Lucas to find someone finally. He adored you. Oh my God, I’m going to be an aunt!” I exclaimed.
She laughed tearfully and brushed her face, wiping the wetness away with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. “I’m hungry.” she added. “I’m always hungry lately. I was so sick with Nat the whole pregnancy that this is weird.”
“Lucas’ genes must be strong with this one.” I said wisely, grabbing the menu again. “Let’s eat then! I can’t have my little niece or nephew hungry, can I?”
Becks leaned back against the red, leather booth and placed a hand on her stomach. Quirking my eyebrow, I laughed at her.
“You weren’t kidding when you said you were hungry!” My eyes slid down to the plates in front of her. I didn’t think I’d ever seen my friend eat that much food.
“I’m trying to watch it and only allow myself to pig out on breakfast twice a week.” she replied, sheepishly. I watched her cheeks pinken and berated myself a bit, knowing she’d heard horrible things from her ex about her weight.
“I’m just kidding, Becks. You’re growing an entire human. If they have Lucas’ genes, they need all the calories to get that big.” I joked, referencing her six-foot-six powerhouse of a husband.
Lucas had been Paul’s best friend and partner on the force. When he’d met and fell in love with Becks, Paul and I had been so thrilled that he’d finally found an outlet for all the love he had to give. I just regretted that Paul wasn’t around to see the fruit of our efforts pay off.
Becks’ phone chimed, and I watched her pick it up as I sipped my latte. She rolled her eyes and started putting things in her purse.
“Lucas likes to check in on me even more than usual now.” she explained as I also began gathering my things from the table and throwing them into the tote by my side. Sunglasses, cell phone, glasses case, a girl could never be too prepared.
“Thank you for meeting me for breakfast, and to talk,” said Becks standing up and smiling down at me. I stood up with her and still had to crane my head a bit. I was five-five but Becks was five-foot-ten. I was used to having to look up at the people around me anyways.
“Oh, stop. You know I’d meet you for every meal, every day if I could.” I wrapped my arms around her in a hug.
“I wish we could do that.” she responded, hugging me back.
“I’m sorry if I’ve been a downer this year.” I whispered, suddenly.
“Mon,” began Becks. “I’m not just here for the sunshine days. I’m here for everything.”
“I know. I just feel like I’ve only been the storm the last year and a half.”
“With good reason,” she scolded. “You lost your husband, Monica. You won’t talk to anyone about it. I can text Lucas back and we can chat longer-”
“No.” I said slightly panicked. “I’m okay. I just felt like I needed to say thank you.”
“You don’t.” She looked at me skeptically. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I replied, watching her turn and walk out of the diner. I sighed, glancing down at my phone to see the time. It was summer so I was off work and had the whole day ahead of me.
Being a receptionist for the local school had its perks. I basically had half of June and all of July, off work. Lacey was with her friends at the pool, while Lexi and Nat were at a volleyball summer camp for the day.
My eyebrows lowered at the text coming through my phone. Trevor and I talked regularly but it was rare to hear from him two days in a row. Even if I’d been the one to message him last night. Ever since Paul had passed away, he’d been checking in more frequently. He used the guise of Lacey to do so, but I knew he was worried about me and Lexi as well.
Tossing my phone in my tote, my mind started racing on what could be happening with my ex-husband. I wondered if he'd finally started seeing someone. He had only briefly dated people since we’d divorced, after he got his life together. I was so proud of him for being clean and holding down his job as a fireman. He had a new zest for life that I hadn’t seen since high school, when I’d met him. My heart grew warm in my chest. He had grown into a good-looking man and was back to being healthy. He actually could be in one of those fireman calendars for fundraisers. I snorted to myself thinking about it. I wouldn’t be surprised if a new woman in his life was what he was about to tell me about.