Chapter 06
L ooking in my rearview mirror, I fidgeted with my hair again. It looked fine and I didn’t know why I was so nervous. I was taking a middle-schooler to a father-daughter dance. Yet, it was a grieving middle-schooler who was my biological daughter’s half-sister.
Oh, and I was in love with her mother, my ex-wife. I shook my head and reached over, picking up the little wrist corsage that I had bought for Lexi. Monica had called me a couple weeks ago to let me know she’d chosen a blue dress, in memory of Paul. I went with the theme, wearing a matching blue shirt under my suit coat. Looking at the corsage I had to clear my own throat.
Tiny blue roses with baby's breath kept it simple, but I’d had the florist add a couple of charms. One was Paul’s badge number and another held a small picture of him. He’d been so excited about his turn at a dance like this with Lexi. Years ago when I’d picked Lacey up he’d jumped around like a kid himself, taking pictures and telling Lexi they’d do it some day.
I sighed and stepped out of the truck, shutting the door behind me. I hoped I'd made it special for Lexi, and there wouldn't be too much pain. I wanted her to have fun too. A couple of the guys from the police station had daughters around the same age and were taking them as well. They’d all promised to ask for a dance for Paul’s memory. Lexi had no idea. Monica had cried when I’d told her and made me promise to get pictures of all of them.
Ringing the doorbell, my own daughter opened it, leaning against the door jamb, giving me the up and down.
“Do I pass inspection, ma’am?” I turned, holding my arms out.
Lacey snorted and shook her head at me.
“Thank you for doing this for mom and Lexi,” she said softly.
“You know I’d do anything for them, and you.” I stated, reaching out and tapping the end of her nose, even as she scrunched it and tried to back away. Teenagers .
“I know. It's just been hard.” she broke off, staring down at her toenails, that I now noticed were painted black. What happened to bubble gum pink? I kept getting the reminders that she wasn’t my baby anymore.
Turning, she guided me into the house.
“Mom and Lexi are upstairs finishing the final touches” she used her fingers in sarcastic air quotes. “Mom ordered us chinese and is going to let me pick the movie,” she threw herself down onto the leather couch, pulling a fluffy blanket over her legs, left bare in her pajama shorts.
“That’ll be fun.” I encouraged, sitting in the recliner and crossing an ankle over my knee.
“I hope she’ll let me get something rated PG-13 or R since Lexi is going to be gone.”
I raised an eyebrow at her.
“What? I’m old enough.” she scowled now.
“I keep forgetting. I keep seeing that bald-headed baby they handed me so many years ago.”
“Dad!” she exclaimed, throwing a pillow at me.
“She’s ready.” Monica’s voice came from behind us and I stood again. My ex-wife was adorable. Wearing pajama pants and a sweatshirt two times her size, hair thrown in her usual style, she grinned at me.
“Thank you so much for doing this, Trev. She’s so excited.”
“Always.” I told her.
“Come on down, Lex.” Monica yelled up the stairs.
Lexi walked down slowly, a faint blush to her cheeks. It made me choke up a little bit, realizing how big she was getting too.
Her blue dress was princess-like and glittery, everything a new teenager could want. Monica had curled her hair and put it in an elegant updo. Makeup was minimal and glittery. I noticed the small diamond necklace she was wearing was one I’d given Monica when we’d been dating in high school.
Stepping to the bottom of the stairs to meet her, I took her tiny hand and bowed slightly.
“Lexi, you look stunning.” I said.
Blushing and giggling she twirled in her sparkly, silver, ballet flats as her mom sniffled and snapped pictures on her phone.
“I had this made special for you, kiddo,” I said softly, handing her the corsage container.
Lexi looked at it confused, as Monica giggled.
“You put it on your wrist, dork.” Lacey said, peering over the back of the couch, watching.
“Lacey.” Monica and I scolded at the same time.
“What? Jeez. Sorry. You look pretty, Lex.”
Lexi preened under her older sister’s praise, Monica stepping over to help her open the container.
I knew the moment that mother and daughter saw the charms I’d added to it. Lexi’s tiny fingertips brushed over them gently, the glittery polish on them reflecting the light.
“Trev…” Monica’s voice was soft and tear-filled.
“I just wanted to do something special. He’s here with us.” I said, stepping forward and sliding the piece onto her little wrist. “Figured you all could dry it out and save it. Or I can buy a chain to put the charms on for a bracelet.” I was rambling, nervously.
“It's perfect, Uncle Trevor,” whispered Lexi, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Squirt.” I replied.
“You two better get or you’ll be late for the ball.” joked Monica, still sniffling.
After posing for a couple more pictures and joking about curfews, Lexi and I headed out to her first dance, promising her mother again that I’d take all the pictures.
Riding to the school in my big truck, Lexi squirmed excitedly beside me.
“Nervous at all?” I asked, while some pop princess the teenage girls were obsessed with crooned on the radio.
“No!” she exclaimed, smiling over at me. “I’m so excited. Thank you for taking me, Trevor.”
“You girls have to stop thanking me for this.” I laughed, pulling into the school parking lot. “I’d do anything for all of you.”
Helping her down from the passenger side, she gripped my big hand as we stepped into the gym. It looked like they’d changed things since prom. It looked like some sort of Hollywood level production.
I felt fucking old.
“LEXI!” Nat’s voice screeched as her tiny body barreled into her friend, Lucas walking up shaking his head behind her.
“Hey, man,” he nodded at me. “Nice suit.”
“Back at you.” I said, taking stock of him. “Who would’ve thought we could clean up so well?” I asked.
“The things we do for love.” he muttered, tugging on the collar of his pink dress shirt.
“Real men wear pink.” I affirmed, watching Lexi and Nat jump up and down, chattering excitedly. The blue tulle of Lexi’s dress stuck to the pink glitter of Nat’s reminding me of cotton candy at the fair.
“Damn right,” said the cop in a gruff voice.
After an evening of making a thirteen-year-old’s dreams come true, watching her dance with her friends and every cop that was there, Lexi was wearing my too big suit jacket as she climbed back into the truck.
“How was your first dance, Squirt?” I asked, starting it and backing out of the parking place.
“So much fun.” she said softly, staring out the window.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Dad would’ve loved it,” her tiny voice came to me in the dark cab, lit only by the dashboard.
She turned her head, her hair so much like her father’s coming out of the updo her mom had put it in, smiling sadly at me.
Suddenly choked up at her soft statement, I reached over, patting her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.
“He sure would’ve, sweetheart.”