28. Shepherd
SHEPHERD
I’m in the film room when my phone buzzes. My screen shows Harper Meers, my agent, so I step out without a word. By the time I hit the door, I’m already answering.
“Harper? What’s going on?” I ask.
There’s no greeting and no small talk. I know she wouldn’t be calling me midday unless it really mattered.
“It’s handled,” she tells me.
I stop walking. “Define handled.”
There’s a pause on the other end the way there always is when she’s choosing her words carefully. “I spoke with the front office this morning,” she says. “Coaches, ownership, legal.”
My jaw tightens. “And?”
“And I didn’t ask,” she continues calmly. “I informed.”
I lean against the wall, one hand braced behind my neck. “What exactly did you tell them?”
“That your brother and teammates confirmed the allegations. Many of the guys mentioned the things he’s said in and around the locker room.”
My chest tightens at that.
My football family.
Of course they came through for me.
For Sutton.
“And I told them,” she continues, “that if Micah Brannigan remains employed by the Portland Rush in any capacity—locker room, training staff, equipment, anything—you will be terminating your contract effective immediately.”
“Good,” I say.
“You understand what that means?” she adds.
“I do.”
“You’d be walking away from your current deal. No guarantees you land somewhere else immediately. Financial penalties. Reputation fallout—”
“Zero fucks given.” The words come out flat and final.
Hell, I don’t even feel them. “This isn’t even a decision I had to weigh.
I love Sutton with everything in me and I’ll be damned if I’m going to work alongside someone who has hurt her in any way…
especially the way that piece of shit has.
And we both know I don’t need the money. ”
“I know you don’t,” Harper says softly. That’s the thing I appreciate with Harper. She doesn’t push when the decision is already made and, quite frankly, in this circumstance, she agrees with me. “They tried to push back,” she confesses. “At first.”
I huff. “Of course they did.”
“Concerns about liability. Public perception. Timing.” A beat. “Then I reminded them what happens if this becomes public without any action on their end.”
Damn right.
My lips press together.
“Shepherd,” she adds, softer now, “this isn’t just about you. If what Sebastian confirmed is accurate—and I believe you both one hundred percent, the entire organization could be in trouble. Nobody wants someone like this under their employ no matter what his job is.”
Good.
They should be.
“So, what did they decide?” I ask. I think I already know, but I need confirmation. I need to hear her say it out loud.
“He’s out,” she says.
Just like that.
No buildup.
No dramatics.
“He’s been terminated effective immediately. His access to the facility has been revoked. Security has his name and photo.”
My shoulders drop a fraction. It’s not relief entirely. Not really, but something close. “And?” I press, because God knows that’s not enough.
Not for what he did.
“And he’s banned,” she continues. “From all Portland Rush events. Games. Practices. Team functions. Everything.”
I inhale a deep breath. “For how long?”
“For life.”
I close my eyes for only a second because if I let myself feel too much of this, I’m going to want more.
He’s not incarcerated or dead so until that happens his mere existence is going to piss me the fuck off.
But right now, Sutton’s safety and mental wellbeing is all that matters to me and this…
this helps protect her. It’s a start and I’ll take it.
“Thank you,” I tell Harper with all the sincerity I can muster.
“You’re welcome,” she replies. “This is what I’m here for. I’m glad you didn’t try to take matters into your own hands and get yourself in trouble. You’ve got too much going for yourself to chance doing something stupid.”
“Yeah.” I chuckle. “Because I definitely would have, if I didn’t have you, and then you’d be bailing me out of jail right now instead of calling me with good news, so thank you again.”
She pauses, and then asks, “How is she?”
I look down the hallway like I can see her through walls. Through distance. Through everything she’s still holding inside.
“She’s…” I exhale slowly. “Stronger than she should have to be and it’s killing me that I can’t fix everything for her.”
“I get it,” Harper replies, “It’s hard to stand beside her and not in front of her where you can shield her from what comes her way.”
“Yeah.” I nod even though she can’t see me. “I just want to protect her as much as I can, you know? And remind her of her worth and her value until she’s ready to take her power back.”
“I have no doubt you’re doing exactly that. You’re a good man, Shepherd Haynes. Don’t ever let anyone tell you different.”
“Thanks Harper. I appreciate that.”
The sound of chips hitting the table echoes through my kitchen like gunfire.
“Fold,” Jake says, not even looking at his cards.
“You haven’t even seen your hand,” Boone argues.
“I don’t need to,” Jake replies. “I can feel the loss coming.”
Orry laughs. “Dude, you feel loss every time you breathe.”
“Nah. That’s just when I’m with your mom.”
“Your mom jokes? What is this, 2003?” Bennett flicks a chip that bounces off Jake’s forehead.
Across the table, Bishop leans back in his chair. “You’re all playing scared,” he says, tossing in chips. “It’s embarrassing.”
“I’m sorry, what sport do you play again?” Kyler mutters with a snide playfulness. “Do they actually pay you to squat for hours and catch a little ball?”
Bishop pats Kyler on the back. “Doesn’t matter what I play, sweetheart. Competition is universal.”
“Yeah? Call me sweetheart again and I’ll shove these cards so far up your ass you’ll still be coughing up the queen of hearts at spring training.”
I shuffle the deck, the familiar rhythm of cards sliding between my fingers as I stifle a laugh. Kyler and Bishop have been friends since college so Kyler is basically just another brother to our family. The insults have always come easily between them.
“You know,” I say, dealing the next hand, “someday you two are going to actually throw punches and I’m not breaking it up.”
“Yes, you will,” Killian says from his spot at the end of the table. “You always do.”
He’s right, of course. That’s who I am. The guy who steps in, who fixes things, who makes peace. But lately, I’ve been questioning that part of myself. Wondering if sometimes the right thing to do isn’t to make peace but to make sure justice happens instead.
“Where’s your girl tonight?” Jake asks, finally looking at his cards and immediately frowning.
“Working,” I answer, feeling that familiar tug of wanting to be near her. I turn my phone over to check for any missed texts or calls just in case, but there’s nothing there. “And then visiting with her friend, Mari.”
The truth isn’t so simple. Since Brannigan got the boot, something’s shifted in her. She’s gone inward a little, picked up extra shifts at work like she’s trying to outrun her thoughts.
“So, why have you checked your phone three times in the last five minutes,” Bishop asks quietly beside me.
I frown. “I haven’t.”
“You just did it,” Sebastian adds calmly from the counter where he’s leaning, beer in hand.
I glance down at my phone once more. “Okay. Guilty.”
“She’s allowed to have a life, man,” Boone says, tossing half a Twinkie into his mouth.
“I know that.”
“Do you?” Jake asks, grinning. “Because it seems like you’re hovering from across town.”
“I’m not hovering.”
Killian grins. “Yeah, he’s not hovering.”
“Thank you.”
“He’s pre-hovering.”
“Fuck you, Kill, that’s not a thing.”
He shrugs. “It is now. What are you so afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid,” I announce to the table. “I just…” Running a hand through my hair I huff out a breath in frustration. “It’s been two weeks since Brannigan was fired and since then she’s been a little different.”
Boone narrows his eyes. “Different how?”
“She’s a little more guarded than before.
Especially out in public. It’s like she’s worried he’s going to show up somewhere unexpected.
I mean until two weeks ago she had no idea he was even in Portland.
And now that she’s aware, I think she fears he could show up anywhere at any given time and blame her for his firing. ”
“Dude did that to his own fucking self,” Bennett mutters.
“But she’s not guarded with you?” Jake’s question makes me smile briefly as I shake my head.
“Not at all. She knows I’m her safe space. When we’re here or she’s with me out somewhere she’s completely fine.”
“Yeah, bro, but tell them everything,” Seb says, walking back to the table and slipping into his chair. “You’ve been spending your off evenings at the bar while she works.”
I nod. “Yeah, in case he shows up.” The very idea makes my jaw tighten.
“And if he does?” Kyler asks.
“He won’t make it out on his own two feet, that’s for damn sure.”
Sebastian exhales slowly. “You’re walking a line, bro.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” he presses.
I meet his eyes. “I’m not doing anything stupid. I just…want her to feel safe. She deserves that.”
“That’s not something you can force,” Orry says.
“I’m not trying to force it.”
“Then what are you trying to do?” Jake asks.
“I don’t know. I just want her to feel safe and happy everywhere,” I admit. “Not just when she’s with me. I want her to smile. Like, really fucking smile, not the guarded one I see more often than not.”
Killian’s eyes narrow as he considers my words and then, leaning forward, he says, “Maybe you should do something big that would make her smile.”
I look up from my cards. “What do you mean?”
Jake gasps. “Like, a grand gesture?” He jumps out of his seat, his eyes lighting up. “Something big enough that she can’t help but feel the joy.”
“I’m not proposing, you guys. I don’t think she’s ready for that,” I say quickly.
“No one said proposal,” Boone chimes in. “We all know that’s inevitable at some point, but what about something that shows her she’s not alone. That she’s got more than just you watching her back.”
“Like what?”
Bishop taps his fingers thoughtfully on the table. “What makes her happiest? When have you seen her most relaxed?”
“Actually, when we’re all together,” I realize aloud. “The few times you guys have been around her all at once, she seems…lighter. Like she feels safe in numbers. I think she kind of sees you all as her family.”
“She’s one of us, so of course, she’s family,” Orry says. “So use that. Use us.”
I set my cards down, suddenly not caring about the game anymore. “I’m listening.”
“What if,” Boone says slowly, “we did something during Monday night’s game? Something that lets her know she’s got an entire team behind her?”
“You mean like a message on the jumbotron kind of thing?” I ask.
Kyler shakes his head. “Nah, that’s not creative enough.”
Killian leans forward, eyes lighting up. “How far are you willing to go?”
I don’t even blink. “Whatever it takes.”
Boone whistles. “That’s dangerous.”
“You don’t understand,” I say, shaking my head, “I don’t care how it looks. I don’t care if I get fined. I don’t care if I get benched for a play. She’s worth more than any punishment I could be given.”
Jake barks out a laugh. “Coach is going to love that.”
“I mean it,” I say. “If it makes her feel even a little bit more okay being there…I’ll do it.”
The room goes quiet because now they get it. This isn’t a joke to me. I’d literally do anything for Sutton because I love her that much.
“You want her to feel safe,” Sebastian says.
“Yes.”
“You want her to feel chosen,” Kyler adds.
“Yes.”
Bennett is next. “You want her to know you’re not going anywhere.”
I nod once. “Yeah.”
Jake sits up, cracking his knuckles. “Alright,” he says. “I’m in.”
“Of course you are,” Bennett mutters.
“No, listen,” he continues. “If Shep’s going all in, every single one of us is going all in.”
Boone grins. “I love when he says that. It always ends in chaos.” He points at me. “You’re going to have to dance.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes,” Jake jumps in. “It has to be public.”
I shake my head. “Absolutely not. I don’t dance. I can’t dance.”
“You said whatever it takes, bro,” Killian reminds me.
I narrow my eyes. “I did not mean—”
“You don’t get to backtrack now,” Jake says, way too pleased.
“She’s going to be in the stands, Shep,” Sebastian adds. “She’ll be watching you the whole time. It’s perfect timing.”
“For what?” I ask.
“For you to be undeniable!” Jake exclaims.
“But how will I do that?”
Silence falls over the table and then Killian starts in with this crazy maniacal laugh. “A serenade.”
I stare at him. “A…What?”
Jake sits up, his eyes flashing with amusement. “Oh, I like that. Like a flashmob!”
“No,” I say immediately.
“Too late,” Kyler grins. “You said anything.”
“I don’t sing.”
“You don’t have to sing,” Boone comforts me. “She won’t hear you from the field anyway. You can lip sync.”
I open my mouth to argue but then I see it. Sutton in the stands trying to enjoy herself. Trying not to expect the worst. She’d be there for me. To support me. But I could turn it all back on her just for a moment.
Hmm. Maybe this isn’t such a bad idea.
I don’t want to hide my feelings. I don’t want to be subtle and I don’t want to pretend she doesn’t matter because she does fucking matter. I’m in love with this girl and I don’t give a rat’s ass who knows it. Why wouldn’t I do this for her?
“Okay. I’ll do it,” I say.
The room stills. Jake blinks. “That was fast.”
I shrug. “You said undeniable.”
He smirks like a menace. “Oh, your feelings will absolutely be undeniable after this.”
Bishop sighs and glances at Killian across the table. “I guess we’re helping?”
“Yes.” I nod. “You two will be making sure Sutton is exactly where she needs to be when she needs to be there.”
They give each other a high five before Bishop adds, “And recording every second of this hot mess.”
Jake claps once. “Alright, Romeo. What’s the song?”
I think about it for a minute. One song in particular rings through my head. The minute I heard it I thought about Sutton.
It’s perfect.
“I’ve got just the one.”
Jake claps his hands excitedly. “Oh, my God! We’re really doing this? I’ve always wanted to do this! We’ll be like those banana guys that sing and dance in the stadium! What are they called again?”
“Savannah Bananas, dumbass,” Killian smirks. “And let’s not forget what sport they play.”
I check the time on my phone one more time and then look at Kyler. “Kyler, call your sister.”
“For what?”
“Because Sutton won’t be back for another couple hours and we’re going to need her help.”