Chapter 18 Seth #2
I pulled off, pressing one last kiss to the head of his cock before crawling back up his body.
He was trembling beneath me, chest heaving with ragged breaths, skin flushed and damp with sweat.
When he kissed me, it was like he was drowning—desperate, clinging, his fingers digging into my shoulders hard enough to leave marks.
“Want you inside me,” he breathed against my mouth, the words barely more than a whisper. “Need to feel you. Please, Seth.”
The raw need in his voice undid something in me.
I reached for the nightstand, fumbling blindly until my fingers closed around the bottle of lube and a condom.
Tanner spread his legs wider, making room for me between his thighs, and the trust in that gesture—the vulnerability of it, the way he opened himself to me without hesitation—made something fierce and protective surge through my chest.
I uncapped the lube, coating my fingers until they were slick and dripping.
He watched me with dark, heavy-lidded eyes, his bottom lip caught between his teeth, his cock still hard and leaking against his stomach.
I circled his hole slowly, teasingly, watching the way his breath hitched, the way his hips tilted up seeking more.
“Seth—” His voice cracked.
I pressed the first finger inside, and his eyes fluttered shut, mouth falling open on a soft, punched-out sound.
He was tight around me, hot and impossibly soft, and I had to remind myself to go slow.
I worked him carefully, feeling the resistance give way as he relaxed into the sensation, his hands fisting in the sheets on either side of him.
“That’s it,” I murmured, pressing deeper, curling my finger just slightly. “Just like that. Let me in.”
He moaned, low and broken, his head pressing back into the pillow. I added a second finger when he started pushing back against my hand, rocking his hips in small, needy movements. The stretch made him gasp, his back arching, and I stilled to let him adjust.
“More,” he demanded after a moment, his voice hoarse. “I can take it. I need—” He broke off with a whimper as I scissored my fingers, stretching him wider. “God, Seth, please.”
I crooked my fingers, searching, pressing deeper until I found the spot that made him arch off the bed with a sharp cry. His whole body jolted, hands flying up to grip my arms, nails biting into my skin.
“There—fuck, right there—”
I rubbed against it, relentless, massaging that bundle of nerves while he fell apart beneath me.
His cock twitched against his stomach, leaking a steady stream of precum that pooled in the hollow of his hip.
His thighs were shaking, spread wide and trembling, and every sound he made went straight to my own aching cock.
“You’re so good for me,” I told him, adding a third finger, watching his face contort with pleasure. “So fucking beautiful like this. Taking everything I give you.”
“Seth—” His voice was wrecked, barely recognizable. Tears had gathered at the corners of his eyes, not from pain but from the overwhelming intensity of it all. “I can’t— I’m gonna—”
I eased off just enough to keep him on the edge, fucking him slowly with my fingers while he writhed and begged. His cock was an angry red now, straining and untouched, and I could see how close he was, how desperately he needed release.
“Not yet,” I said, leaning down to press a kiss to his heaving chest. “Not until I’m inside you.”
“Then get inside me,” he gasped, grabbing at my wrist. “Now. Seth, now, please. I need you. I can’t wait anymore.”
I withdrew my fingers slowly, watching the way his hole clenched around nothing, slick and open and ready for me. He whimpered at the loss, his hips chasing the sensation, and I had to take a breath to steady myself.
My hands were shaking as I tore open the condom wrapper, rolling it on with clumsy fingers. I slicked myself with more lube, stroking once, twice, biting back a groan at how sensitive I was, how close to the edge just from watching him come undone.
When I lined up against his hole, I paused, meeting his eyes.
The words were right there—three of them, simple and terrifying, pressing against the back of my teeth.
I almost said them. Almost let them spill out into the charged space between us because, in that moment, with him spread open beneath me, trusting me completely, they felt like the only thing that mattered.
But I swallowed them back. Not yet. Not like this, when he might think I was just caught up in the heat of it, when the words might get lost in everything else. He deserved better than that. He deserved to hear them when I could make him understand I meant it with every part of me.
So instead I leaned down and kissed him, slow and deep, trying to pour everything I couldn’t say into the press of my lips against his.
“You ready?” I breathed against his mouth.
“Yes.” His hands slid up my arms, gripping my shoulders. “Please, Seth.”
I pushed in slowly, inch by inch, giving him time to adjust. The heat of him was overwhelming, the tight clench almost too much. By the time I bottomed out, we were both shaking.
“Okay?” I managed.
“Perfect.” He wrapped his legs around my waist, pulling me impossibly closer. “Move.”
I started slow, deep strokes that had us both groaning. Tanner’s hands roamed my back, my shoulders, finally settling on my ass to urge me faster. I obliged, snapping my hips harder, finding a rhythm that made him cry out every time I thrust home.
“Right there. Fuck, don’t stop—”
I shifted my angle, making sure to hit that spot with every stroke. His cock was trapped between our bodies, getting friction from the movement, and I could feel him getting close, his muscles tightening around me.
“Come for me,” I told him, voice wrecked. “Let me see you.”
He came with my name on his lips, spilling hot between us, his whole body clenching. The feeling of him pulsing around my cock pushed me over the edge. I buried myself deep and let go, pleasure crashing through me in waves.
We stayed tangled together afterward, catching our breath. I pressed lazy kisses to his shoulder, his neck, the corner of his jaw.
“Worth the wait?” I murmured.
He laughed, soft and sated. “Definitely worth the wait.”
I pulled out carefully, dealt with the condom, and cleaned us both up with a shirt from the floor. Then I gathered him against my chest, his head tucked under my chin, our legs intertwined.
Later, tangled in the sheets with Tanner asleep against my chest, I stared at the ceiling and let myself feel everything I’d kept bottled up inside of me.
This was what choosing looked like. Not some grand gesture or dramatic declaration, but this: coming home to someone who knew your failures and chose you anyway. Who let you be afraid and pushed you to be brave. Who made you want to be better even when better felt impossible.
Tanner shifted in his sleep, his hand finding mine under the covers, holding on. I pressed a kiss to his hair and closed my eyes.