Chapter 15 #2
I’ve never believed it every time Lily talked about sister telepathy.
Until now. And I want to crawl under a rock or magically go into a lupus coma because I know the exact moment the two men beside me see the message.
It’s the exact same time I do. It pops up above my favourite painting of Rodney’s.
The massive penis he tried to disguise as a rocket ship.
“Oh, ah, sorry about that guys, just ignore her. I-”
“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart, there is no pressure. We can be friends, we can date, we can walk away and never see each other again. You call the shots,” Fox says, his breath ghosting over my ear, that’s how close he is.
I turn to stare at him and I see in his eyes the same thing I see when I look into Zane’s.
I’m not sure what to call it, but it’s almost submission in a way.
It’s a look that makes me think that these two, large powerful men are actually not the ones holding the power here.
It’s me. And it’s shocking and exhilarating.
I know that no matter what I choose these men will respect my wishes.
With them on either side of me I decide to let my body call the shots.
I’m tired of having to monitor my every moment, cataloguing and checking and planning out every moment of my day just to manage a body that’s fighting with itself.
I’m tired of fighting, I want someone else to take the weight. To make me forget my body and myself.
I look first at Zane, then at Fox, before taking a shaky breath, “What if I don’t want either of those things? What if I want something else?”
Fox moves to stand behind me, Zane moving at the same time. One of them, I’m not sure which grips my hips and spins me to face them both. Fox’s chocolate eyes search my face, Zane’s dark, almost black eyes stare directly into mine.
“What do you need, sweetheart?”
“I-I want to feel something other than discomfort,” I whisper, dropping my gaze. Now that I’ve voiced it, I feel silly. I mean, I’m not in any pain or discomfort at the moment, I don’t think. Or maybe the ache low in my belly is another type of pain, one that verges on pleasure.
“I don’t think you want that at all,” Zane says, reading me in a way no one else ever has. “You want to feel in control of a body that is out of control.”
I swallow, because he’s right. But I know that it’s not something that I’ll ever have. I haven’t had it since my second year of college when I was diagnosed.
“Do you trust me? Us?” Fox asks, gently cupping my cheek, bringing my gaze to his.
I look at him, really look at him, then at Zane and realize that in this moment I do trust them. I trust them to treat me well, to look after me at this moment.
“Yes.”
“Good. Let us help you.” He holds his hand out for me to take and I throw caution to the wind and place my hand in his.
He pulls me to stand, Zane at my back, a warming presence.
I have no idea what it is about these men, but all the voices in my head that would normally tell me that men like this wouldn’t want me, that I can’t do what other women can do, that I’m ugly and broken, they’re not there.
Fox and Nitro somehow silence them every time I’m in their company.
They lead me out of the farmhouse, down the steps, Fox gently holding my hand while Zane guides me down safely.
I mean, I’m fine going up and down stairs and things, but the fact that they know my body isn’t always cooperative is a nice surprise.
We pick our way down the path, to the trailer that I know they live in and have done since Fox was shot.
Yet again they help guide me up the small temporary steps and when Fox opens the door I get my first look at their home.
It’s not what I was expecting. I figured with two men it would be more bachelor pad-ish, with a giant couch and an even larger TV and yet it’s somewhat simple but homely.
There is a large couch, but it has a fluffy throw over the back of it.
There is a TV but it’s not obnoxiously large.
What really catches my eye however, is the large bookcase on one wall packed so full of books that some are stacked on top of others.
I turn to them, brows raised and I can’t miss the blush that rises on Zane’s cheeks and the look of pride on Fox’s face.
“My baby is a bookworm, what can I say,” Fox shrugs as he presses a sweet kiss to Zane’s lips, making my core ache at the simple act.
They gaze at each other a moment and now I’m not nearly as confident as I was when we left the clubhouse.
Now I’m wondering just how I’m meant to fit.
I mean, I already don’t fit. Not really.
A short, overweight special needs teacher with a chronic illness that makes me achy and tired and useless with two crazy hot bikers?
“Hey, look at me. You’re intelligent, you’re kind, you’re loving, you’re beautiful,” Zane whispers and I see that look on Fox’s face again before he too, turns to me, cupping my cheek.
“We’ve got you.” He takes my hand again, and leads me to the bedroom, a huge bed dominating the space, dark sheets and comforter cover the bed, and again there are small homely touches.
Fox helps me to sit on the bed, before he and Zane join me. One on either side.
“Jazz, give me your eyes, sweetheart,” Fox begins, waiting patiently as I turn to him, “We are here for you. To make you feel good, in any way that you would like us to. You don’t like something, you tell us.
You want something from us, use your words.
You only want one of us, that’s fine, you want us both or you want us to show you what we like to do to each other, that’s good too.
We are here to take care of your needs, no matter what they might be. Is that OK with you?”
My breath is coming in short pants and I can’t believe how turned on I am at his words. In a world where I have no control over my body, the thought that I can control two, powerful, beautiful men is a heady feeling.
Nitro places his hand very gently on my jaw, turning me toward him. “Anything you want sweetheart, we’ll give it to you.” His dark eyes are hooded as his gaze drops to my lips.
“Kiss me, Zane.”
Fox groans behind me as Zane’s lips gently press against mine is a whisper of a kiss, something so sweet that it blows my preconceived ideas about Zane out of the water.
He’s not the rough one, the broody one, he’s something completely different and I’m sure it’ll take me longer than I have with them to explore his depths.
He moves to pull away but I chase, I want more, need more, just a taste.
“Your words, sweetheart,” Fox’s low rumble in my ear sends a shiver skittering down my spine as he presses a gentle kiss to the back of my neck, my eyes closing involuntarily for a moment.
“Zane, please kiss me, and then I want you to kiss me, Fox,” I look between the two of them and can’t help but think what a lucky bitch I am.
Zane cups the back of my head in his large hand, angling me exactly where he wants me, before he licks along my bottom lip, asking for entry.
I open on a moan and he steals it when he places his mouth over mine, sucking my tongue into his mouth, stroking it with his, not demanding.
Gently, sensually. Fox groans behind me, the sound mixing with mine when Zane pulls away from me only to pass me to his lover.
Fox seals his lips to mine hungrily, demanding entrance, demanding more from me than I could ever have imagined he would.
Where Zane is gentle, sensual, Fox is raw hunger, something I was not expecting.
He tears his mouth from mine and I try to blink away the lust, but it’s too strong. I need more, I need everything. Something builds in me and I’m not sure if it’s insanity or the fact that I’m so fucking horny but I need to see these men, these two gorgeous men together.
“What is it that you want, sweetheart, tell us,” Fox says, kissing up the column of my neck, Zane’s hands tangled in my hair as he gently holds me in place for Fox’s lips.
“I want to watch you two, I want to see how you kiss each other, if it’s the same way you kiss me or different. I want to watch your hands on each other, then I want your hands on me. I want everything you can give me, make me forget my body tonight,” I gasp out, shocked at my brazenness.
Zane’s eyes darken at my confession and he takes my mouth again, the feel of his lips on mine, the way I can tell there is restrained power behind his kisses that he’s holding back for some reason. His kisses coupled with Fox’s lips on my throat are enough to drive me crazy.
“We’ll do whatever you ask of us, but I think Zane will agree that we need you naked for us.”
I hesitate for a moment, before nodding jerkily, moving quickly to get my top off.
Zane’s dark chuckle hits me in my clit and I freeze in place, feeling as if I could combust at any moment.
“Let me,” he whispers in that gravelly voice of his.
Zane’s hands move under my top, pushing it up over my breasts. I raise my arms up so he can push it up over my head, giggling when he throws it into the corner somewhere.
“Lift your hips,” Fox says, nipping at the skin on my soft belly.
I raise up slightly and he peels jeans from me, taking my panties and socks with them.
I have no idea what happened to my shoes and I don’t care either.
My bra is somewhere in the atmosphere and now I’m completely naked, sitting between two fully clothed men feeling the sexiest I’ve felt in a very long time.
“So. Fucking. Beautiful,” Fox says in a broken voice, running a hand over his mouth, his eyes darting from my face to my breasts to the V between my legs.
“Perfect,” Zane whispers in agreement.
I swallow, knowing that these men want my words, my voice. “Your turn.”