Chapter 3
3
‘S o far, so good,’ Jan said as they re-entered the kitchen.
The meze selection for the first course had been well received and the three of them had just finished delivering the trays of Moroccan lemon chicken and chickpea tagines.
Leia checked her hair was still neat as Ben took off his chef’s hat and ran his hands through his thick locks.
‘I’m only letting you take that off because we’re washing up,’ she said to him.
He smiled and her heart skipped a beat. ‘ Letting me?’
Her mother cleared her throat. ‘This is my kitchen, Leia, and I am not a committee.’
Ben fist pumped at yet another Star Wars quote and Leia rolled her eyes.
‘Kenobi’s got a beautiful head of hair. It always looks like he’s just stepped out of a salon,’ her mother said.
‘Scruffy-looking nerf herder,’ Leia muttered as she lifted up a tray of dirty dishes.
‘Put that down, love,’ her mother said. ‘I need you two to go to the cellar and pick up some dessert wine.’ She scribbled on a scrap of paper and handed it to Leia. ‘These are the ones I want. Don’t worry if it takes a while to find. It’s a bit of a mess down there. I’ve got it under control here and your dad and brother will be along soon to help.’
They took off their aprons and Leia led Ben through the rabbit warren of the ground floor corridors until they came to a narrow flight of steps leading to a scratched wooden door with peeling paint. She gave it a pull but it didn’t budge.
‘Do you need a hand?’
She gripped harder. After all the knocks she’d had over the last few months, she would not be beaten by this. ‘No, I don’t need any help.’
‘You sure?’
‘Yes,’ she spat through gritted teeth as she tried to wrench it open.
‘Clear your mind, Leia.’
‘Don’t you—’
‘Use the Force.’
With a noise that was half grunt and half growl, she tugged hard and the door opened. The momentum sent her barrelling back into the brick wall that was Ben.
She felt his heat, his shallow breaths against her ear, the rapid thudding of her heart.
‘I’ve got you,’ he whispered.
Every nerve inside her was shorting out as desire crackled through her.
‘You okay?’ he asked.
Her nod was erratic.
‘You’re trembling.’
The Han Solo quote snapped her out of the moment. This was just a game to him. It wasn’t real.
She shrugged him off. ‘I’m not trembling and I’m not re-enacting a bloody movie, either.’
She flicked the ancient light switch just inside the door and stomped down the stone steps into the darkness.
He followed. ‘Leia, I wasn’t thinking about Star Wars just now. I promise.’
She ignored him, walking further into the cellar and squinting at the dusty bottles on the racks.
‘Leia, please.’
In the furthest room was a long wooden table on which sat plastic bottle carriers. She grabbed one and brandished it at him.
‘I don’t need your help. I can use these. Go help Mum with the dishes.’
There was a loud bang from the other end of the cellar.
He turned his head. ‘Was that the door?’
‘I don’t know and right now I don’t care.’ She sighed. ‘I just want to find this wine, get out of here and go home.’
She turned her back to him, inspecting the dusty labels. The Foxbrookes may have lived in a stately home, but behind the scenes it was chaos.
‘I’m just going to make sure it wasn’t the door,’ he said.
She shrugged and waited for him to leave.
As his footsteps receded, she let out another breath and rubbed her eyes. She was so tired of everything.
The light above her flickered, then went out with a sharp crack, entombing her in thick blackness.
‘Ben!’ she cried out. ‘Ben!’
‘I’m coming!’ he yelled from the other room. ‘Hang on!’
Over the sound of her own panicked breathing, she heard crashes as he felt his way towards her.
‘I’m here!’ she yelled. She hated the dark. There was something oppressive and terrifying about not being able to see where she was.
‘Keep talking. It’ll help me find you more easily.’
‘I’m here,’ she repeated, holding out her arms. ‘Ben, I’m— Aarrgghh!’
‘It’s me! I’ve got you.’
She clung to him, too afraid to be away from his warmth and security.
His arms folded around her and he stroked her back. ‘It’s okay.’
‘I’m s-sorry,’ she said, her teeth chattering. ‘I’m really scared of the dark.’
He held her tighter. ‘I know.’
The rhythmic thud, thud, thud of his heartbeat against her ear soothed her.
‘How?’
He let out a huff that whispered across the top of her head. ‘We’ve been friends since we were seven. I’ve picked up a few bits of information about you over the years.’
‘To use against me?’
He paused. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Which particular incident are you sorry for? There’s a bloody long list.’
‘I know. Luke and I were twats to you a lot of the time. Can I make a blanket apology for everything I ever did to piss you off?’
She smiled against his chest. ‘That’s such a cop-out.’
‘I agree. But I promise I’ll make it up to you. Can I start by making you dinner next week?’
She stiffened. Thoughts and questions raced through her mind. What should she read into that?
She swallowed. ‘Why did you come back?’
His silence was as suffocating as the darkness.
‘From Australia,’ she continued.
He didn’t respond.
‘Ben?’
He took a breath. ‘I was offered my own restaurant.’
She raised her head to look at him, even though there was nothing to see in the blackness. ‘What?’
‘After the second award, an investor approached me. She’s a big name in the industry and fully or partially owns several restaurants in Sydney. I’d been saving to open my own place anyway so had money put aside, just not enough. She offered to invest and provide project management for development of the site.’
‘Oh my god, Ben. That sounds incredible!’
‘It was.’
‘So, are you doing it?’
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
She could feel the tension in his body as he hesitated.
‘Ben?’
‘It’s complicated.’
Was it about a woman? Does he have a girlfriend? The thought ran like ice down her spine.
‘Tell me.’ She tried to keep the quake of fear out of her voice.
He shifted his body, putting his hands on the outside of her arms as if he could look directly at her. She stared up, imagining the expressions on his face as he began speaking.
‘When I went to Oz with my family, it was a clean slate. I could be whoever I wanted. And I—’ He broke off and sighed. ‘I also wanted to prove myself. To show… that I could be good at something and make a success of my life. So, I did. But when this opportunity arose, I realised there would be no going back. I would be fully committing to a life in Australia.’
He paused, his thumbs moving hypnotically up and down her inner arms.
‘I didn’t have a girlfriend— I don’t have a girlfriend, and my apartment was rented. Apart from my job, a few friends, Mum, Dad and Hazel, I didn’t have anything keeping me in Sydney.’
‘Your family, friends and job sounds like a lot to keep you there?’
‘Maybe. But Hazel and my folks have their own lives. And I have friends here, too.’
‘But why choose Somerset over Sydney?’
‘I missed—’ He cleared his throat. ‘I missed Foxbrooke. Oz was amazing, but was more like an extended holiday. The UK always felt like my home. It’s where my heart is.’
Leia’s was trying to punch its way out of her chest.
‘What are your plans?’
His thumbs stopped moving.
‘I mean, now you’re back,’ she continued.
He paused and took a big breath. ‘I’ve already signed on with a few temp agencies. I’ll get a job and take it from there.’
‘But what if it’s not as good as you remembered here? What if you get bored?’
His fingers were now moving restlessly up and down her arms, trailing goosebumps in their wake.
‘It’s better than I remembered,’ he said softly. ‘And I’ll never get bored.’
Silence stretched out in the darkness.
‘Leia?’
‘Yes?’
‘That night, I—’
‘Don’t.’
He squeezed her arms. ‘Leia, please?’
She shook her head even though he couldn’t see. She didn’t want to revisit the humiliation of her brother and his other friends leaping out from the bushes as she kissed Ben for the first time, crowing to each other as to who won what in their bet.
‘Leia, I’d wanted to kiss you since I was fourteen. But I was an insecure, idiotic teenage boy and you were Luke’s sister. The bet was my excuse to do what I’d been dreaming about for four years.’
‘But—’
‘I tried to explain but you were so angry and I knew I’d blown it. I wasn’t sure if I was going to go to Australia with my parents. But after that night I made up my mind.’
She thought back to what she’d said to him a decade ago. All her hurt spitting out like venom.
‘I was horrible to you,’ she said quietly. ‘I’m so sorry, Ben.’
‘Don’t be. I had every opportunity to play it differently. Taking that bet was the coward’s way out. I was trying to get what I wanted with you and still save face with my mates.’
‘So, you wanted to kiss me that night?’
She heard a soft chuckle. ‘I wanted to kiss you every day since the end of year nine.’
‘But you were such a…’
He tugged her body flush with his. ‘Scoundrel?’
Oh my god . ‘Ye-es,’ she stammered. ‘You literally pulled my pigtails.’
She felt his fingers exploring the bun at the nape of her neck, then he released the hairband holding the braid in place and it tumbled like a rope down her back. He wrapped his hand around it and his lips grazed her ear.
‘I know,’ he whispered. ‘It’s what boys do to girls they really, really like.’
‘I don’t understand,’ she murmured, every cell in her body lighting up with longing.
He placed a soft kiss below her ear. ‘It’s very simple.’
She clung to the rock of his shoulders, hanging on for dear life as all the blood left her head and rushed south. ‘It is?’
He nibbled her neck and she shuddered. ‘Yes, Princess.’
‘Don’t—’
‘I call you princess,’ he continued as he trailed kisses across her skin. ‘Not because I’m trying to be funny or a dick. It’s because to me, you always have been, and always will be, a princess. You’re beautiful, clever, creative and funny. You’re incredible, Leia.’
Tears stung her eyes. It had been years since she’d thought any of those things about herself. She’d allowed herself to be smart and hardworking, but that was as far as it went.
‘Is this some kind of sick joke?’ she asked, her voice cracking.
‘No! God, no, Leia.’ He cupped her face with his hands, resting his forehead on hers. ‘You don’t believe me?’
She hesitated. She wanted to believe him, but recent events had shaken her trust in men to the core.
‘Leia…’
His lips were so close. She was frantic to kiss him, but she wasn’t going to close the gap if this wasn’t real.
‘Yes?’
‘I’m not going to move,’ he murmured. ‘Put your hands wherever you want on me. Then you can see how much I want you.’
She could feel the thrum of tension in his hands, feel the unevenness of his breath against her mouth. Could she do this? Could she explore his body the way she’d always dreamed?
‘Do it, Leia. I’m all yours.’
The darkness made her bold. She had the chance to live out her fantasies, even if only for one night.
With trembling fingers, she followed the contours of his shoulder muscles, along his arms to the hot skin of his forearms. She placed her hands atop his as they cradled her face.
‘Lower,’ he said.
She swallowed, then reached forward until her fingertips touched his chest. She could feel the rise and fall of his rib cage as if he was struggling to breathe. If this was an act, then he deserved an Oscar.
‘Lower.’
She traced her fingertips down his chest. Was she really doing this? Could she do it? A million tiny voices joined together inside her to chorus ‘yes!’ She’d been starved of any touch like this for so long. Why shouldn’t she take what he was offering?
Before she could throw any more barriers in her own way, she ran her hands across the front of his trousers.
Holy mother of god .
She sucked in a breath as she gripped around his solid length. Ben Walker was big and broad everywhere .
A nervous giggle escaped her.
‘Is something funny?’ he whispered, his breath ragged. ‘Because I’m in agony.’
‘Is that a lightsaber in your pocket, Ben, or are you pleased to see me?'
He threw his head back and laughed. ‘God, Leia, I… I fucking lo—’
She reached up to grab his face and brought his lips crashing to hers.
They may have been in darkness, but a thousand fireworks detonated at once inside her, filling her head with light and her body with flashes of desire.
He tugged her closer, one hand twisting around her braid, the other grabbing her backside and pulling her against his cock.
The kiss in the garden ten years ago had rocked her world. This one was obliterating it. As his tongue slicked against hers, she was sure she would die with pleasure. She’d often wondered if she’d imagined how good his lips felt, if she’d unfairly compared other men to him and found them lacking. Now she knew with soul-searing certainty that no-one could ever make her feel the way he did.
She ground her pelvis against him, seeking the delicious friction that would send her into oblivion. He lifted her and she clasped her legs around his hips, rocking into him, her tongue dancing with his as he moved. He sat her down on the edge of the table, sweeping the plastic bottle carrier to the floor with a crash.
He tore his mouth from hers, kissing and sucking down her neck. ‘Leia, Leia, god, Leia.’
Sensation sparked in bolts of light along her limbs, out through the tips of her fingers and toes. Every part of her was electric, every cell fizzing as it overloaded.
She was in a crackling, uncontrollable storm of pleasure, almost painful in its intensity. It was as if the thunder had been rumbling for the last ten years and had now built to earth-shattering proportions.
She tugged the buttons of her jacket open, desperate to release the pressure, then pulled her vest top and T-shirt bra up over her breasts.
‘Fuck, Leia!’
She cried out into the darkness as his mouth found her nipple, pleasure spiking to her clit as he sucked it deep. She squeezed her thighs together, chasing her release.
Then his mouth was gone and he lifted her to her feet.
‘Turn around,’ he growled, spinning her so her back was against his front, the ridge of his cock rubbing against her bottom. ‘Kiss me.’
She turned her head and his lips were there, ready to devour her. He held her to him, one hand rubbing the tip of her nipple, the other unzipping her trousers and reaching under the waistband of her pants.
He broke the kiss as his fingers found her wet centre. ‘Oh god, Leia. You’re… You’re so… Fuck!’
‘Kiss me,’ she gasped.
He did, imprisoning her between his lips, tongue, and fingers as he drew circles of fire over her clit.
She was shaking now, surrendering herself completely to his mercy as the wind whipped tighter and tighter around her. He held her close, chasing her into the raging storm. Deep inside, lightning was fighting to find a way out, crackling against the inside of her skin.
She broke the kiss and cried out again. It was too much. She was going to break apart.
‘Leia, my Leia, my Leia.’
My Leia . His words were the tipping point, the moment the energy was released and the climax torn from her body.
She screamed his name as the shockwave thundered through her, shaking and shuddering in his arms as wave upon wave of blinding pleasure overwhelmed every one of her senses.
‘My Leia, my Leia,’ he whispered as his fingers eked out every drop of feeling from her orgasm until she was limp and empty in his arms.
Then he lifted her and sat back on the table, cradling her and peppering her face with kisses as if he couldn’t stop.
She was floating through the infinite blackness of space, adrift in his arms. He’d turned her inside out and upside down and she couldn’t remember who she was any more.
Shouting and banging echoed through the cellar towards them.
‘Oh my god!’ Reality crashed through her as she suddenly remembered exactly who she was, where she was, and what she was meant to be doing.
He placed her carefully back on the ground. ‘It’s okay, the door must have blown shut earlier. We’ve got time.’
Leia heard her name being called.
‘Oh my god, Ben. It’s Dad and Luke!’ She redressed quickly, smoothing down her hair. ‘Where’s my hair band?’ she hissed. ‘I need it to secure my bun.’
She felt his hand as he gave it to her.
She twisted her hair back up. ‘I can’t see a thing.’
‘Hold onto my hand. I’ll lead you out.’
He guided her back through the cellar towards the voices.
‘Leia? You down there?’ her father called out.
‘Yes,’ she yelled back. ‘With Ben, but the lights have gone out.’
‘The bloody door’s jammed again,’ shouted her father. ‘But don’t worry. The Force runs strong in our family.’
She groaned and Ben chuckled.
‘Stand back!’
There was an almighty thud.
The door didn’t move.
‘Nice try, old man,’ Leia heard her brother say. ‘Let me at it.’
There was a louder thud. The door rattled in its frame but it still didn’t budge.
‘Dad! Luke!’
‘Yeah?’
‘Were you pushing the door? It opens outwards.’
There was silence on the other side.
Ben snorted.
Two seconds later there was some more grunting and the door flew open to reveal her dad and brother on the other side.
‘Not a bad bit of rescuing, huh?’ her father said. ‘You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.’
Leia shook her head. Her parents never let the opportunity to quote Star Wars pass them by.
‘Thanks, Steve,’ said Ben. ‘Jan wanted us to get some dessert wine but the lights blew, so we’re going to need a torch.’
Her dad held one up. ‘She said the fuses were a bit temperamental and handed me this. I’ll go get it. I know where it’s stashed. You three go back and help clear up. I won’t be long.’
He turned the torch on and went past them into the darkness of the cellar.
Leia turned for the kitchen, paranoid that her whites were covered in dusty handprints, or her messy hair was telling everyone exactly what she and Ben had just been doing.
‘So, did Ben get it?’ her brother asked.
‘Get what?’ she spluttered.
‘The job at your restaurant,’ he replied. ‘I told him a couple of months ago that Tim did the dirty on you and now you’ve lost your business partner as well as your boyfriend.’ He looked over his shoulder at Ben. ‘The launch was meant to be tonight but nothing’s happening until she can get staff. Did I tell you the bird Tim copped off with was their waitress?’
Leia stumbled, putting her hand on the ornate flock wallpaper as her head went dizzy. She stared at Ben. Underneath his tan he was white.
‘Leia—’ he began.
‘You knew?’ she whispered. Her gaze found her brother’s face. ‘And you told him?’ she shouted.
‘Am I missing something here?’ Luke asked. ‘What’s the big deal?’
For months Ben had known about her humiliation. He’d spent the whole night with her and never said a word. Why? Was it all just an attempt to butter her up before waltzing in and taking over her dream, just as she was recovering from it being trampled on by another deceitful man?
‘I’ve got to go,’ she said, her teeth chattering violently in her head. ‘Tell Mum sorry and I’ll speak to her tomorrow.’
‘Lei,’ her brother said, frowning. ‘What’s going on?’
‘Leia—’ Ben started, reaching for her.
‘Don’t!’ she spat. ‘I hate you.’
She turned and ran, but not before she heard his reply.
‘I know.’