Chapter 29
Mia
Leaves crunch under my feet, and my lungs burn.
I don’t know where I am, and it’s too dark to see, but I’m running.
My dress is torn and my feet hurt. I’m out of breath and my legs are close to giving out.
But I don’t stop. I can’t stop. If I do, he’ll catch me, and this isn’t like before. Now he’s angry.
Aiden’s doorbell startles me out of a deep sleep, and when my eyes flutter open, I can tell it’s still early. I lie here drifting in and out, wondering if I imagined it, because Aiden was very clear when he said that no one really knows where he lives.
I don’t know if he’s here or not. I fell asleep sometime around three after I scoured this place yet again for any trace of information or anything personal, but there was nothing.
His bedroom door was wide open, like he had nothing to hide.
There was nothing there. Just the biggest king-size bed I’ve ever seen, barren walls, and basic clothing hanging in his closet, perfectly neat.
Not one photo, not one trinket, not a watch, nothing.
This house is like one big hotel suite. I realize he might have cameras in here and may check them, but I already have an excuse ready.
I have a right to know about the man I’m living with.
My eyes are just fluttering closed again as the bell rings once more, and this time I stand, pulling on my tights and my tank. I pull my knife out from under the pillow and move to the front of the house, but this time I hear the beeping of the alarm code and freeze.
“Good afternoon, Goldilocks.” Roz grins as she pushes through the front door. I breathe a sigh of relief and set the knife down on the kitchen counter.
“I was hoping you’d answer. I didn’t want to scare the shit out of you, but it’s getting kind of hot out there.” She waves her hand in front of her face like a fan.
Afternoon? I look toward the stove to check the time. Twelve thirty.
“What are you doing here?” I ask as she hands me a coffee.
The sight of it almost makes me cry. I barely slept last night, lying awake in this eerie, quiet house, thinking of Aiden and wondering if he was going to come back after he left me in the kitchen covered in bourbon.
After I cleaned up and realized there really was nothing of his in this house that was personal, I went to bed and found myself dreaming all sorts of crazy dreams. Ones of pleasure.
Ones of pain. Ones of Nic asking me how I could betray her, how I could want him.
And now the idea of a midnight shift at the club is making me tired before it’s even begun.
“Where’s Aiden?” I ask, massaging my temples, trying to will my headache away.
Roz shrugs. “Last I heard, he had a meeting about the annual ride the Disciples coordinate, but aside from that, I have no idea.”
“Ride?”
“Yeah, they do charity and memorial rides all the time, but this one is tomorrow, and it’s the biggest one all year.
We all camp out at Ruston Farms after and everyone gives a hefty donation to Wounded Warriors.
” She smiles. Her hot-pink T-shirt is too bright for my head this morning.
“He said to come and pick you up, take you home, and let you gather some things. Then he said to bring you to the club for your shift.”
I take a sip of the coffee. It’s delicious. “I can drive myself.”
“Nope. He wants you to go with me, and a prospect is out there too, ready to follow.”
I huff out a breath. There’s no arguing with that. “Do I have time to shower?”
“I’d prefer it. You sorta smell like the bottom of a whiskey bottle.” Roz grins at me as she sips her coffee. I choke on mine a little, remembering him pouring it all over me.
“Look, it’s obvious the two of you have this little love-hate thing going on, but you are lucky you’re under his protection, you know. What I told you about Dagger was just the tip of the iceberg. You might think you have Aiden figured out, but I promise you, honey, you don’t.”
I don’t know why, but for some reason, I want to believe her.
Because you’re a slut for the way he touches you.
“I don’t know what’s up or down right now, and I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface with Aiden.”
“The surface is all he has to offer anyone, honey,” she says, taking a seat on the sofa. “Get moving. I’m on a schedule.”
As I head to the shower, I refuse to believe that about him.
I feel like this is the closest I’ve been to seeing more of him, and now it’s a need.
I sigh as I strip out of my clothes and ask myself how I got here.
Bite marks line my inner thighs. And looking in the mirror, I picture what Nic’s expression would be if she knew I was staying with Aiden.
But she’s not here. She never will be again.
And the only place I get relief from that grief is when Aiden’s lips are on mine.
* * *
“Turn left at the stop sign and it’s at the back of the street, number 109.”
Roz follows my directions as we make our way through my neighborhood an hour later. I glance in the side mirror and see the prospect behind us, a few cars back.
A vintage late seventies tan pickup truck is still there too, and it unnerves me. It’s been following us since the cutoff at the highway.
I remind myself that Aiden might be making me paranoid because aside from that truck, and Dicky, the streets are quiet.
This house has been in my mother’s family since my grandparents were married in 1975.
Since my own parents were never officially married, it’s in the Crawford name still and has no affiliation with the Hounds of Hell or Nicola, but I’m sure Aiden wouldn’t have to search too long to realize who Jennifer McNally was before she was McNally.
“This is a sweet area, quiet,” Roz says as she drives. “You got family here?”
I shake my head no. “Most of my family is dead,” I say softly, looking out the window at the familiar surroundings. A neighbor cutting his grass. A kid riding a bike while his mom pushes a stroller behind him. It’s all the same but feels so empty now.
“So is mine,” she says cautiously. “I lost my mother and my sister when I was twenty.”
I turn and look at her. “I’m sorry. Were you close?”
“The closest.” She smiles, but her eyes are far away as she watches the traffic.
“Me too.” I gulp back the sting at the bridge of my nose. “My sister was my best friend.”
“What happened?” Roz asks.
I swallow down the urge to tell her that Nic was raped and her boss might have had something to do with it. Instead, I offer, “She overdosed.”
“Fuck.” Roz glances at me, empathy in her eyes. “Recently?”
I quickly wipe away the tear that spilled down my cheek and straighten up. I can’t give this woman any more information.
“Fairly,” I say in the vaguest way possible.
“I’d like to say it gets easier, but it doesn’t,” she says with a sigh. “My father got drunk and turned the stove on to cook. Burned the whole place down while the rest of the family was asleep. He got out, but he didn’t even try to save anyone else. Just saved himself.”
I can’t even imagine. “You weren’t there?”
She smiles sadly. “Nope, I was at my boyfriend’s, high as a fucking kite.”
“Fuck,” I whisper.
“After a two-week-long bender when they died, I almost died myself. I woke up in the hospital, malnourished and detoxing. I was pregnant, and I didn’t know. Ten weeks along.”
My mouth falls open, and another tear spills down my cheek.
“I lost the baby while I was there. I had an infection in my foot from a cut that never healed right. I was high and wandering around outside barefoot when a neighbor found me and called an ambulance. They kept me for a week to rule out sepsis, and it got me clean. I went straight from the hospital to rehab.” She smiles.
“I just celebrated sixteen years clean.”
“That’s amazing,” I tell her with a sad smile. “An inspiration.” I wish Nic could have had that chance.
I breathe out a sigh. “I hate being left behind. Their ghosts are always haunting me.”
She puts her turning signal on. “I wondered for a long time why I lived and they didn’t. I was mad at the world, but that doesn’t help. It will suck the life out of you, honey.”
I look out the window as we turn into my driveway. “I kept thinking about how I could’ve saved her if I had only made different choices.”
“So did I,” she offers.
I turn to face her. “How long before you stopped beating yourself up?”
“Still haven’t, but moving forward helps. When the man that you’re so hell-bent on fighting promoted me to manager, it felt like a reward for staying on the right path. This is gonna sound a little morbid, but I thank my lucky stars every day that Marco died and Aiden is the boss now.”
She nods toward my house. “This you? 109?”
“Yeah.” I look up to the porch. A flash of me and Nic sitting on it with our pretend nail salon runs through my mind, and for the first time since she died, I don’t shy away from it. I smile and squeeze Roz’s hand. “Thanks, it’s nice to know I’m not alone. I miss her,” I whisper.
“That never goes away, but it does get easier to remember the good things,” Roz says, her eyes crinkling a little in the corners. “Even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.”
She squeezes my hand back and narrows her eyes. “Now, go get your things. Boss specifically told me not to be late today.”
I smile at her and get out of the car. I see the truck that was behind us drive past my house, and for some reason, it still leaves me feeling unsettled. I give my head a shake. All this talk about Dagger following me has gotten under my skin.
Stop being paranoid, Mia.
* * *
It only takes us an hour to get my things and drop them back off at Aiden’s before heading to the club.
As I enter, I immediately notice that Aiden isn’t here and start to wonder if he’s avoiding me and if what happened between us last night has set me back in getting closer to him. Every time anything sexual happens between us, he pulls away.
I spend the next hour getting ready before the club opens.
I pick out a sexy little black dress with spaghetti straps that falls to the perfect mid-thigh spot and hugs my body tightly.
The soft fabric feels sultry and is just enough to tease.
I smooth it out and check my ass in the mirror as I listen to Libby and Trina gossiping about their night at the clubhouse.
Trina applies pretty red lipstick, saying she may be making progress with Raef, one of the Disciples.
“I bet he makes things official,” Libby says to Trina, her voice happy. “Your ass is perfect. Stop fussing, Mia,” she adds to me with a wink in the mirror.
I smile back. “Thanks.”
“Who all was there last night?” I ask as nonchalantly as possible.
Trina rattles off some girls’ names from here and some of the members, none of which are Aiden.
“He wasn’t there,” Libby says, looking at me.
“Oh, I wasn’t…” I start.
“Yes, you were.” Libby’s assesses me, placing her hand on my arm.
“You know, with that dress…” She searches around her makeup table until she finds what she wants. “Maybe try leaving all your hair down. We can curl it. A little black mascara on those lashes and some red lips. Fucking hot.”
I glance in the mirror and run my fingers through my waves. I was going to put it up in a high bun, but…I picture Aiden’s face if I take Libby’s advice. My hair wild, red-coated lips. I wonder which way he’d prefer me, and suddenly, I feel compelled to find out.
I reach out and take the lipstick from her.
“That’s the spirit. Let me get the curling iron hot. I’ll do it for you.”
She claps, reminding me of Nic when she used to spend hours doing my hair and makeup.
“That shade will be so pretty on you.” She smiles, and I look at the color name on the bottom of the tube: Crimson Siren.
Perfect. After rubbing my lips together, I look in the mirror, feeling pretty in makeup for the first time in a long time.
Libby takes her time curling my hair into masses of waves, chatting my ear off the whole time about her favorite movies, foods, and funny things that have happened to her at the club.
By the time she’s done, I actually feel sexy and like I almost have a friend, something that doesn’t come easy.
I smile at the mirror, feeling confident as my phone buzzes on the makeup table in front of me.
Unknown
Come to the alley.
Only one person would command me this way, so I instantly know it’s Aiden and that Roz has given him my number.
I’m not ready yet.
Unknown
If I have to come in to get you, I’ll drag you out by your hair.
I flip my phone over and give it the middle finger, taking an extra few minutes to finish just to spite him.
The place is already filling up when I make my way across the floor and down the long narrow hall to the exit sign.
I push through the door and look around, but I don’t see Aiden or his bike.
The sky is just starting to get dark when one strong arm wraps around my waist from behind and a piece of tape is pressed over my mouth.
I kick and struggle, but I’m no match for my attacker as a black hood is pulled down over my head. Everything goes dark just as the scent of leather, mint, and smoke washes over me.
The deep voice I’ve come to know so well whispers, razor sharp and ice cold, “You fucking lied to me, Rhiannon.”