Chapter 18
NOAH
Forty-eight hours ago, I had the happiest moments of my existence on this miserable planet. Then, just like everything else in my life, I had it instantaneously and brutally taken away from me. She ran from me.
A part of me is still reeling with the reality that I had the best sex of my life with the only woman I have ever truly cared for, and the minute I turned my back, she ran from me like I was a monster.
She didn't even take her damn shoes or dress. She just disappeared like a spectre that was never there, and I was left torn apart, destroyed, and raging. I punched holes in my apartment walls, and tore the bathroom door off in my rage. I even got in an altercation with a homeless man who got in my way, beating him bloody when I searched for her, up and down the block, and found no sight of her. I couldn’t breathe, my chest was on fire, filled with pain that she left me.
The monster inside of me laughed at my naivety that she would ever want me now that she bore witness to who I truly am.
I disgusted and frightened her and she left me.
She left me alone with my monster, and no way left to hold them back.
I've tried to call her, but she still has me blocked.
I can see using my fake accounts that she hasn't posted on any of her social media since the night at the club before everything went down.
I went to her apartment the next morning, and Faye threatened me with a massive kitchen knife at the door, and treated me like I was a villain.
I'm not disputing that I am, but it made me want to put her head through her door.
I, however, knew if I laid hands on Cordelie's roommate, I wouldn't be able to stop myself, and it would only make everything worse, so I left instead of barging in.
I've been attempting to stalk Cordelie on campus, but she hasn't shown up for any of her classes. She ran from me, and now she's avoiding me, as if I would ever let what happened between us go. As if I could let her go. Didn’t I warn her that I wouldn’t?
The worst part, the part that's eating me up inside, is I don't even know if she's okay.
She could be hurt. I might have been rougher than I thought, and maybe that's why she ran from me.
Fuck, I'm an unhinged monster, that's why she bolted.
I drag my trembling hand through my hair and take another deep inhale of my joint.
I always knew she was going to flee from me once she got a good look at the demon inside of me, and I was fucking right.
The knowledge makes my blood boil inside my veins.
Why did I give in to her demands? I knew she couldn't handle me at my worst, and I didn't even get that bad with her.
Josslyn's taken worse abuse and insults over the last couple of months, and she's never run.
Yeah, but you don't want that whore. That's not who you crave.
"Noah! I've been trying to reach you since yesterday!
Why are you avoiding me?" Josslyn's whiny voice breaks through my chaotic thoughts, instantly ruining the buzz I was trying to create.
I lean my head back against the column I'm sitting against and take another deep drag, as I allow my eyes to lazily trail over her.
She's in a skimpy, burgundy skirt that barely covers her ass, dark pantyhose, probably to hide the bruises from the gangbang, knee-high black high boots, and a black turtleneck that conceals the many fingermarks around her slender neck.
She looks hot, and any guy looking at her would be getting hard in his pants, so why the fuck do I only feel disdain and disappointment that it's her approaching me and not Cordelie?
Cordelie who cried so beautifully for me when I filled her ass.
Cordelie who took the pounding of my cock as if her pussy was made solely for my pleasure.
Cordelie who looked me in my face, with her deceitful eyes, and made me believe that she would stay with me if I showed her my demons.
"Hello? Earth to Noah." Josslyn shakes her hands in front of my eyes, and I frown at her ridiculous and childish attempt to get my attention. What the fuck was I thinking when I got involved with this chick? Honestly, I'm starting to think she lacks self-preservation and is too stupid to live. My hand clenches tightly with the need to slam it into her face, so she leaves me the fuck alone, but I restrain myself. I can’t get to Cordelie if I’m in jail for beating the shit out of Josslyn.
I take another drag and throw the bud at her, and she shrieks in annoyance as she darts away from it and almost falls on her ass.
"Fuck off, Josslyn." I return my gaze to the science building, hoping to catch a glimpse of Cordelie before she enters her lecture.
How could my sweet baby girl think running from me was the answer?
Didn't I tell her that she belongs to me and I would never let her go?
Does she only believe those are mere words spewed in the midst of passion?
I'm going to ensure she realizes that they're not. This time it won’t be a belt around her neck, it will be a chain. She won’t ever be able to run from me again.
"What the hell, Noah! What is this?! Why are you treating me this way?
!" Josslyn grabs onto my forearm, and tries to force my attention back toward her, and that's a big fucking mistake.
My skin crawls at her touch, and the little control I have is fraying at the edges.
The demon inside of me rattles the bars of his cage, demanding to be let out, and I'm almost obliged to grant him his wish.
I feel myself teetering on the edge of losing it.
The urge to hurt her, to release this rage, is almost overwhelming, and I'm fighting desperately to keep it contained, while knowing full well that it's a losing battle.
It's not a matter of whether I'll hurt her, it's only a matter of when and how much.
I grab her shirt and drag her toward me, forcing her to lean over, my eyes fixed on her rapidly beating pulse.
Her lips open, a shaky breath escaping, and I smirk.
I'll bet she's regretting touching and demanding my attention now, stupid bitch.
"I'm treating you how you deserve, slut.
You don't get to touch me, Josslyn. You don't fucking own me. "
I release her shirt, and my hand trails up her chest and wraps around her neck.
Anyone watching would think it looks like a lover's caress, but it's not.
It's the itch racing through me to hurt her, here, now, in front of an audience.
What little common sense I'm clinging to warns that's a bad choice to make, and one that will see me locked behind bars.
Then I'll never get close to my Cordelie again.
I can't fucking risk it, no matter how much the temptation to watch Josslyn bleed is calling to me.
"Noah... please," she gasps as I tighten my grip, and her face starts to flush red. I wonder, if I keep squeezing, will this idiot even try to stop me, or will she just allow me to kill her? My money's on her dying while her panties flood.
"What, baby?" I force her to lean closer as I rub my nose against the side of her face, and whisper in her ear. "Do you have a death wish, Joss? Is that why you can't stay away from me?"
Her whimper is her only reply, and it soothes the poison inside of me that is spreading throughout my body like a cancer.
"You want me that much, baby? You can't stay away even to save yourself, can you?
" I bite down on the shell of her ear, but not in a sexy, pleasant way, in one designed to hear her scream.
Other than a little muffled cry, she doesn't give me what I desire and need right now, and it makes me irrationally angry.
I release her, and she stumbles to her knees on the hard concrete beside me.
"Noah... I love... you," she gasps hoarsely, as she stares at me like I'm her whole world, even though I don't want to be.
She's not Cordelie, she's never been, and she'll never replace her.
She's just a waste of my time and energy, and what little pleasure I was able to attain at Josslyn's expense no longer feels worth it.
She's a doll I want to break the limbs off, just to see if I can.
"Is that so?" I question with a sinister chuckle that should frighten her, but she remains close.
There really is no helping this girl. Who am I to deny her the pain and suffering she so obviously needs to keep living?
She nods her blonde head, her crystal green eyes wide with fear.
It's intoxicating, that look on her face.
The one that says she doesn't know what I'll do next.
"If you love me so much, Joss, then you'll do whatever I tell you to do right now.
If you don't follow my instructions to the letter, I'm going to leave you once and for all, and let every man who's ever wanted a piece of you have you. "
I don't bother to add that I have no intention of staying with her either way.
Our pathetic relationship is tainted now.
Even if I wanted to continue in our depravity, I can't. The thought of touching and fucking Josslyn, now that I've had Cordelie the way I've always desired, makes me nauseous.
"Take off your shirt, bra, and skirt, get down on your belly, place your arms behind your back, and crawl like a maggot on the ground for me. "
"What? No! Why?" She cries tearfully, her body recoiling in shock at my request. Honestly, I don't give a shit whether she does it or not. It's just a way to pass the time while I wait for Cordelie, and hopefully, it will finally get through to Josslyn to fuck off and leave me alone.
I get up off the hard concrete and stand, shrugging as if it doesn't matter either way.
"Guess you don't love me the way you claim, Joss. I hope you like being damaged goods."
"NO! Please, Noah!" She cries, beseeching me on her knees.
Tears fall down her porcelain face as her lips tremble, and I feel my cock stirring in my pants.
It's not enough, she's not enough. I watch with amusement as she grabs the hem of her shirt with jerky movements, pulls it off over her head, and drops it to the ground.
I can hear a few students further away speaking about us, but I don't dare take my eyes off Josslyn.
I nod my chin in the direction of her bra, and her body trembles, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she reaches backward and releases it, and it trails down her arms until it meets her discarded shirt.
Run, Josslyn, show me you have a backbone and run away from me.
"You're wasting my time, Joss," I complain, my voice cold and unfeeling.
She yanks down her skirt, and it pools at her knees before she rips it off.
Her nipples pebble in the cool February air, and I can see the shame finally wash over her.
She wraps her arms around her chest, as more and more voices make their way closer.
"Uh uh, Josslyn. Let the world see them, baby. You paid a lot of money for them."
"Please don't do this, Noah, please!" She begs, but it doesn't stir any emotions within me.
It's as if I'm made of ice now, entirely numb to anything and anyone around me.
I cross my arms against my chest, and my ankles, as I lean casually back against the column with a dead look, as if I have all day.
Her pleas won't work on me. I gave her a chance to walk away, and she didn't take it.
All bets are off now, and poor Josslyn's about to learn that I have no limit to my cruelty.
She lowers herself to the cold concrete with a shudder and a sob, shifting her arms behind her back.
"Crawl, baby. We both know you do it so well.
" She shifts on the ground, a pathetic and halfhearted attempt to comply with my demand.
Her body flushes with embarrassment, and goosebumps break out along her flesh.
Her sobs are getting louder and louder, and all I can think about is whether Cordelie cried when she ran from me.
Josslyn writhes on the ground like the maggot she's become, laughter reaches my ears from our audience, and I'm positive a few are recording her.
I wonder if she'll be brave enough to face these people again once I leave her, or if she'll run from me too. If I’m lucky she might throw herself off of one of the school buildings, ending our misery once and for all.
I squat down so that I'm closer to her, brushing her hair away from her face. "Tell our audience that you're my dirty little whore. That there's nothing that you won't do to bring me pleasure."
"Noah, don't do this, please," she begs, and I instantly drop my hold and rise, turning my body as if I'm going to walk away from her.
"I'm a dirty... whore," she sobs, but it's spoken too low for anyone to hear her.
Doesn't she realize that I'm trying to save her from herself and me?
What I'm doing here is my last act of kindness for her.
It's a fucking wake-up call that if she doesn't walk away from me now, I'm likely to kill her in a fit of rage.
Can't she see how generous I'm being to her?
"Louder. It's your last chance, Josslyn."
She almost slams her chin on the concrete as she slithers back and forth on her stomach. Her body shakes as she yells, "I'M A DIRTY WHORE. I WOULD DO ANYTHING NOAH WANTS. ANYTHING TO MAKE HIM HAPPY!"
I lean down and pet her head, like she's my favorite dog.
"That's a good girl, Josslyn." The hope in her eyes as she stares up at me makes my stomach curdle.
I pry my glance away from her and catch a glimpse of Cordelie across the courtyard, heading to the science building, utterly unaware of the mercy I'm granting her former best friend.
I turn and start heading in that direction, lost in my need to see her, speak with her, and demand to know why she ran from me.
"NOAH! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?" Josslyn screams behind me.
I look back over my shoulder at her with an enormous, menacing smile across my face. "Away from you, whore. You're pathetic and tainted. Stay away from me, Josslyn, you're disgusting."
I keep walking, Cordelie in my sights, and Josslyn's high-pitched shrieks behind me. Cordelie's all that matters now. She thought she could run from me, but she's already caught in my web, and like a deadly spider, I have no intention of letting her go before I've consumed, and had my fill of her.
Run for me, sweet baby girl. I'll enjoy chasing you.