Chapter 19 ~ Alexander
I never slept at all last night.
I grabbed a flashlight and went out with the men and scoured the yard, looking in every nook and cranny, anywhere I could think of where she could hide. It was Carlos who brought me over to the shrubbery below her bedroom window.
My heart dropped when his flashlight illuminated what lay on the ground hidden in the darkness.
The evidence of what she had been doing for weeks.
Mounds of food piled up and discarded, picked over by animals.
I watched her every day as she sat at that window eating her meals.
But she wasn’t eating at all. She’d scrape all her meals onto the ground through that tiny slit and fooled me into thinking she was eating because her plate was always empty.
She was starving herself and I didn’t even see it.
I assumed her weight loss was due to stress, and reassured myself there was nothing wrong because every meal, the reports came back she had eaten. The impact hits me like a brick at her intentions.
Isabella was going to leave me no matter what. Starve herself to death or figure out a way to run. She had planned all of this before I had even condemned her, held her helpless against the wall, and called her a liar and a tease.
A traitor.
I felt so sick after seeing that I staggered back and sat down on one of the lounge chairs.
I missed everything when it came to Isabella.
Every nuance, every word she tried to say to me without actually saying it.
But I was a bully, selfish and cruel. I ignored her and left her alone figuring I knew best, and she would just have to adapt to my way of life.
No wonder she wanted to leave me.
I was useless after that, and Carlos brought me into the house and up to my room. He poured me a drink, and I drank it, but I couldn’t taste it. He sat me on the bed, took off my shoes and pulled back the covers and I crawled in just lying there stunned. He spoke but fucked if I know what he said.
She hates me. Fuck, I hate myself. She hated me before I married her.
She said she was heartbroken. I didn’t understand then, but I do now.
She told me our wedding was her funeral and all I could see was my anger because it meant more to me than just a contract marriage.
I liked her, I wanted her more than I had any other woman, but by then, I had pushed her too far.
She even told me she had stopped believing in anything.
And I don’t blame her; I took it all and didn’t care to see what it was doing to her. I couldn’t see past the thought of Robert and his betrayal to my family and to the organization, letting rage and doubt rule me. Isabella was the outlet because she was so innocent it had to be a deception.
It wasn’t.
She is sweet, kind, has a soft heart, and thinks of others before herself.
She’s shy, quiet and sees the world with an artist’s eye, not jaded and cruel like me.
Isabella has a fire in her. She let me see it on our wedding night and I loved it.
When she looked at me that night, I felt a little more than like for her.
My father said she can spot a liar like her grandfather, and he is right.
I didn’t give two fucks about Harry Potter, and she knew it.
In her silence, as she sat on my lap stroking my face softly, trying to ease my anger.
She was keeping what she loved safe because she hadn’t had it her entire life and she didn’t want me to ruin her love of the movies.
But I did anyway. In my jealousy, I accused her of loving Sebastian more than me.
I couldn’t lie there any longer, so I got up and paced the hall.
I wanted to go into her room and sleep on her couch, smell the lily perfume that belonged solely to her.
But every time I put my hand to the door, I couldn’t.
So, I went to my office and poured over the security feed.
I watched it at least a dozen times before I caught it. She was so smooth.
At first, I thought she snuck around the house and got into the truck.
We all agreed on that once we watched the feed the first time.
But for some reason, I needed to see it again.
She was so smooth, slick, and smart. I underestimated her, and it made me smile.
She was picking up all the trash in the yard and putting it in the crate.
And then she just hopped in, and she was gone just like that. Snap!
Once everybody showed up this morning, I showed them the video feed and paused it where her foot was sticking out of the side.
I think Danny was going to throw up. I don’t know if he thought I was going to freak out and punch the shit out of him.
But it’s not his fault. And I told him so.
I’m not angry anymore; I just want to find her.
And even if she doesn’t want to speak to me, I just want to find her and know she’s safe.
I put men on Helen’s bookstore and every entrance to the museum since we know she is there somewhere.
And I put Danny on Anna’s tail twenty-four hours a day.
Carlos should be back any minute now with a report.
It’s too late to go to the museum tonight; it’s closed, and Anna has been at her apartment and hasn’t left, so Danny says.
My father texted me later in the afternoon saying that he had set up a meeting with Robert.
He is out of town right now, and he’ll be back on Monday or Tuesday.
My father has also booked a meeting with the remaining three chairs.
I can see his point. If you’re going to lead, sometimes-personal vengeance has to go on the back burner for the good of the whole. They are affected as well as we are.
I personally would like to fly wherever the fuck Robert is, get the information out of him, and shoot him in the head. But we need him alive. Taking him out too soon will put the others on the run, and we want them ALL. Every single one of the bastards.
Christopher has two of the top four, and he has Jasper at the shipyard playing host. Dad’s team should dig up a few more in the next twenty-four hours. All we need is Robert, and once that asshole is taken care of, every ounce of my time and energy will be spent looking for my bunny.
A tap on my door draws my attention, and Carlos steps in.
“Boss?”
He looks just as exhausted as I feel. I don’t know if he slept or not, and I didn’t think to ask this morning.
I know he’s just as worried as I am, maybe more so.
They were friends, and I never even had the chance to be her friend.
Actually, I didn’t give her the chance to be my friend; I just wanted to own her.
I jump up out of my chair and met him halfway across the floor.
“What did you find out? Is she at the museum? Is she with Anna?”
Carlos walks past me and sits down on the chair across from my desk. His voice is monotone as he speaks.
“Danny went up to the apartment and talked to Anna. He was up there for quite a while. She hasn’t given him anything. She admits to helping her leave with the crate, but other than that, she says she’s gone and we’re never going to find her.”
He sighs and flops back in the chair.
“Danny’s convinced she knows more than she’s saying, and already knew that. Anna is loyal and she isn’t cracking. She actually punched him in the throat when he told her she might be in danger as well and he was going to lock her up at his place.” He smiles widely now.
I can’t help but chuckle. As hard as I try, I can’t get the picture of tiny little Anna punching big Danny in the throat and taking him down.
“Wow, Mighty Mouse isn’t one to mess with.
But Danny has a point. Her father knows Anna is her best friend and he might try to take her out as well to get to Isabella.
You need to get a hold of Danny and see if he needs extra eyes on her.
Isabella will be devastated if anything ever happens to her. ”
Carlos eyeballs me. “Robert doesn’t even know that Isabella has left. So why would he try that?”
I throw my hand in the air.
“Who the fuck knows what Robert is capable of? I didn’t know he was capable of this, did you?”
Carlos holds his hand flat and rubs his thumb across the top.
“No, I guess not. It couldn’t hurt to have extra eyes on her. But I am worried, boss. I don’t think she’s at the museum. I think she got into that box, and they got her out. Whether or not she is still at Helen’s, I don’t know, but if we don’t find her soon, she’s going to be gone for good.”
I blow out a big breath, walk around my desk, and sit down in my chair. I plop my head down on top of it.
“I know and I more than likely deserve it. I didn’t give her a chance from day one. I saw her as an enemy, and I treated her as one. Actually, I treated her worse than I treat my enemies. She fucken hates me.” I look up at Carlos.
My voice turns pleading, and I hate it.
“She was starving herself? Did you know that? Because I didn’t know that.
I knew she was losing weight, but I just thought it was because she was nervous and scared.
She had a hard time keeping food down, but then there was so much going on so fast. I just thought it was nerves.
How desperate do you have to be to choose that way to die? If that was her goal.”
Carlos doesn’t say anything; he just sits there staring at me, rubbing his hand. He finally reaches into his chest pocket in his suit jacket and pulls out his knife. The swish of the blade extending is all you can hear, and he begins to clean his nails. He always does that when he’s processing.
Maybe I just need someone else to give me shit because I keep giving it to myself and it doesn’t help lessen the pain and guilt.
“Say it, just fucken say it. I need to hear it.”