Chapter 5 Max
MAX
Ishould be used to watching her walk away from me by now, but somehow it cuts a little deeper every time.
I never planned to fall for my best friend’s sister, it just sort of happened, and now I’m left pining for her more than I ever was back then.
It’s been almost a year since we all lost Logan, which means it’s almost a year since I lost her, and no one even noticed.
We had spent nearly two months wrapped up in one another with no outside noise, and it was fucking perfect. She was perfect.
And then it all came crumbling down.
I can still remember that day like it was yesterday.
Lincoln had found himself in some trouble from his past and that trouble took both Asher and Logan to get back at him.
I had gone with Elle and Lincoln to get Asher back, sending Zack and some of the guys to get Logan.
Both of them were a mess, desperately needing medical attention, but I thought we had done it, I thought we had saved them and won again.
How wrong was I?
When Logan collapsed time seemed to slow down, and I remember every second.
I remember the way Lincoln begged him to stay, I remember Arthur telling his son it was okay, I remember Zack falling to his knees in defeat, but most of all, I remember Lily’s screams. I barely caught her before she hit the floor, her legs giving out at the sight of him, and I can still feel the way her body was shaking.
She was crying so hard that I could feel her heart breaking in my arms, and it didn’t matter how hard I tried to hold on, she still fought against me.
Watching her crawl on her hands and knees to her twin’s lifeless body will be ingrained in me forever.
Because as I watched her perform CPR trying to save him, I knew it wasn’t just him that died, but us too.
When I pulled her from Zack’s embrace he didn’t want to let her go, but I knew he needed to go to the hospital and be with Asher, so I promised him that I had her.
She was covered in Logan’s blood, so I walked her back inside and took her straight to my room.
She didn’t say a word when I stepped us both under the hot spray of the shower, still fully-clothed, or when I stripped her off and cleaned away her twin’s blood.
Sobs continued to wrack her entire body so much so that I had to ransack her dad’s medical supplies to find something to make her relax.
It wasn’t until the drugs took hold that she whispered four words that almost killed me.
He broke his promise.
That’s when I knew she would never be the same again, because even though she knew Logan never would have left her by choice, she would still hold it against him.
He was her everything, the one person who mattered more than everyone else, and she lost him.
The little light she had, that she rarely let anyone see, was extinguished completely, and she hasn’t been the same since.
For the last year all I have been focused on is keeping her afloat, and despite my heavy workload, she is still the most important thing in my life.
I check on her every morning to ensure she gets out of bed, because there was a time she didn’t.
I make her breakfast to make sure she eats at least one meal, because there was a time she’d refuse, and I force her to go to therapy once a week, because there was a time I found her passed out in the bathroom beside a bottle of pills.
So I don’t care what it takes, what I have to sacrifice, and what bonds I have to break, the only thing that matters to me is her.
After I park my car, I make my way to my usual Wednesday morning coffee shop that I frequent, while I wait for her to be done with therapy.
After almost six months I am definitely considered a regular here, but I can’t bring myself to stray too far from Lily when she’s still at her most vulnerable.
Pushing inside, I greet the smiling faces of the four baristas who check me out every time I enter, before I put in my order and move to take a seat.
A couple of other women eye me from their tables, and I wish their interest did something to me, but unfortunately the only people who interest me lately have the last name fucking Royton.
Zack has been my best friend for almost twenty years, he’s smart, loyal, fierce, and between him, the Rebels, and all the guys that work for my company, I have a solid group of people I can count on.
I thought I would never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with him, especially after how much work I put in at controlling my attraction to him, but then came my attraction to his fucking sister.
The twins were always around after I became friends with Zack.
He would always call them on the phone, visit them on weekends, go home for the holidays, his love for them was infectious.
When I met them I understood, Logan was bright, outgoing, confident, it was hard not to be impressed by him, but even then my attention was stuck on Lily.
She was quiet, reserved, brilliant in her own right, and more than comfortable existing in her twin's shadow. They were inseparable even then, and between boarding school and college, my run-ins with them were few and far between. It wasn’t until they were both getting ready to graduate almost two years ago that I started to see more of them.
When Zack came back to New York after everything that happened with Elle, I chose to come with him.
My company was used to travelling around a lot, but the guys were getting restless for a more permanent base, and it made sense to stay close to what I now consider my family.
That meant Zack got me an apartment a few floors down from his penthouse, alongside the twins, and having us all under one roof meant we spent a lot of time together.
When I first saw Lily again after so long, I wasn’t surprised she had gone from a pretty girl to a beautiful woman, but I was surprised that my dick took fucking notice.
I ignored it at first, so sure it would pass, but it didn’t, which meant I spent the next year fucking anyone who would have me, trying to erase my need for her.
Then things changed, I looked and she looked back, she let me in, let me see what she shows so few others, and I was so focused on her that I lost sight of everything else.
I couldn’t save the person she loved most in the world.
Logan’s death almost killed them all, but I knew Arthur and Helen had each other, and that Zack would do the same thing as always, and make himself everyone's rock. Lily though? I knew she would drown if I let her, so I didn’t, and I have been trying every day since to make sure she stays afloat.
I know she’s only going to therapy to make everyone else happy, to make them think she’s getting better when she isn’t, and they might think it’s working, but I know her better than that.
I know her better than most people these days, and she might think she’s invisible, not needed, that she isn’t as important as Logan was, but she’s wrong.
Yes, people were naturally drawn to her twin, but I see her, I see the light burning inside of her begging to be set free, and I won’t stop until it is.
I spend the next ninety minutes answering emails, setting the guys up with client meetings, and ignoring each of the flirty smiles from the baristas stopping by my table to ask if I need anything.
Then I settle up my check and head back toward the therapist's office so I can be ready for Lily to be done. It doesn’t take long for her stern face to appear, stomping back to my car like she’d rather be run over by it than climb inside, and I offer her my best smile to piss her off even more.
Zack and the rest of them have been handling her with kid gloves, thinking it will help her, but that’s not how you get through to someone like her.
They think smothering her will put out the fire of her grief, when in reality her grief is ice cold, and to get it to melt you have to fan the flames.
It’s how I got her in the first place, and it’s how I’ll keep pushing until she remembers that just because her twin is dead, it doesn’t mean she can also stop living.
“Did you actually talk this week or just waste more of my money?” I ask brightly and she scoffs, as she shoves past me and into the car where I am holding the door open for her.
Both Zack and her parents have asked about paying for her therapy since they found out I forced her to go, but I decline them every single time. I don’t need their money, I just need her to survive.
“I’ll take that as wasting my money,” I tease, before slamming the door and rounding the front of the car.
When I slip inside she is staring firmly out the front window, but when I catch sight of her tear-filled eyes, I can’t help but sigh.
“Lils, come on, talk to me, please,” I plead, reaching out and snatching one of her hands up in mine, pretending just the feel of her skin against my own doesn’t make my stomach flip.
I know she hears the pleading in my tone, because her head slowly turns toward me.
The look in her eyes still haunts me every time I see it, but her beauty still takes my breath away, even with tears tracking down her cheeks. “Why are you so intent on saving me?” she forces out, trying to keep her voice steady, and the sound scrapes against my bones.
I reach up and use my thumb to swipe away one of her tears, savoring the way she breathes in the contact, her eyes flickering slightly, as I reply, “You know why, princess.” She might have used me to repress her feelings for her brother, but it was always more for me.