Chapter 20 Max
MAX
It was really great to see Lily with everyone today.
I know it was hard for her to go, for her to see them all, but it was too important to miss.
If I hadn't pushed her, she would have only regretted it, and I can’t have that, not when she is finally getting back on track.
When I dropped her back at her apartment earlier, I could tell she was feeling overwhelmed, so I made the excuse of catching up on some work to give her some space.
I don’t expect to hear from her, not tonight at least, so when there is a firm knock at my door, I can’t help but be surprised.
Padding toward it, I try not to let myself feel excited at the prospect of seeing her, of spending the night with her again, but those thoughts are instantly dulled when I pull open the door and find her brother instead.
“Zack, hey,” I start, both surprised but happy to see him, but my greeting is cut short when his fist slams roughly into my jaw, sending me flying to the floor.
What the fuck?
Pain ricochets through my head, and from the grimace on his face I’m sure he is feeling it up his arm, but fuck, I forgot how good his swing is.
“What the hell, man?” I ask, not sure what the fuck is going on, but he only huffs a humorless laugh.
“That’s funny, because I was just about to ask you the same thing,” he tells me with a grunt, as I push back to my feet. “Are you fucking my sister?” he adds in question, and the ball finally drops.
Fuck. He knows.
I scramble for something to say, anything, but nothing comes to mind, because there is no excuse for this betrayal, so instead I try to deflect.
“Really? You’re still calling her that after what you did?” I ask, arching a brow at him, and the look he gives me is nothing short of furious.
“Max,” he warns darkly, and I sigh, reaching up to swipe the blood now trickling down my jaw.
“Is not what you think,” I reply, trying again, but really? What excuse can I give for not just what I did, but for why I lied about it too?
“It’s not what I think,” he grunts another laugh, shaking his head, as he tries to keep control of his temper. “When did it start?” he demands, looking as if he isn’t sure whether he wants the answer, and I can’t help but sigh again, knowing I need to tell him the truth. All of it.
“When we all got settled back in the city, last year after everything happened,” I tell him honestly, not sure if it makes it better or worse.
“We were all hanging out a lot more and things were just different, she was different, I tried to fight it, but…” I trail off, not able to put my feelings into words, and he only looks more pissed off at my response.
“And when did it end?” he grits through his teeth, and though I expected his question, it doesn’t make it any easier to answer.
“When your brother died,” I exhale, letting the words settle like a heavy weight between us, and I practically see the anger leave his body, as the reality sets in.
“Fuck,” he sighs in disbelief, and all I can do is nod.
“Yeah,” I agree, stepping back and holding the door open for him to enter, and with nothing else to do, he steps inside.
We’ve never fought before, not like this.
I mean sure, we’ve been pissed at one another, but it was always a stupid work issue or something along those lines.
I guess I never thought we’d argue about something like this, but then again, I never thought I’d fuck and fall in love with my best friend’s sister.
Zack follows me into the kitchen and watches as I pour us both a deep swill of whiskey, no doubt we’re going to need it for the rest of this conversation. When I slide it across the counter, he nods in thanks, taking a deep gulp, as I move to the freezer and grab myself an ice pack.
When I turn back and find him watching me sternly, I can’t help but joke, “Nice right hook.”
Zack snorts a laugh. “What can I say? I had a good teacher,” he claps back, before sighing deeply and taking another sip of his drink.
For a moment we just exist in the silence of our friendship, the one that has carried us through many storms over the years, but I’m not sure it will survive this one.
Not when I know what’s coming next. “Do you love her?” he finally asks, and the question cuts through the air like a knife, my answer even more so.
“Yeah, I love her.”
I don’t see the point in hiding it, he’s strong enough to hear it, and I won’t make things any worse by lying.
“Does she love you?”
His question has me finishing off my drink in one big gulp, as I try to think about the way to answer it.
“I’m sure she feels the same, to some extent at least, but it’s complicated.
” I cock my head to the side, giving him a look that I hope conveys what I’m trying to say.
He has more pieces of this fucked-up puzzle between us than ever now, but I can’t be the one to put them together for him.
“Fuck,” he sighs again, clearly starting to understand how crazy all of this is.
“Yeah,” I sigh in agreement once more, before my hands itch to pour another drink.
Reaching for the bottle, I top off my own drink, and then round the counter to fill his glass too. He nods in thanks, taking another sip before turning his stare to me. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I can hear the hurt in his tone, the betrayal, and fuck, it pains me more than I thought it would.
“Because it was never supposed to go as far as it did, it started as a means to an end,” I tell him honestly again, but he’s already shaking his head.
“What does that even mean?”
“My answer to that question affects her too, I can’t…” I trail off, unable to find the right words.
“Why aren’t you mad?” he asks, changing lanes. “If you love her the way you say you do, why aren’t you being the one to punch me?” I can tell he’s really confused by not just my confession, but this whole situation, and how the fuck do I even answer that?
“It’s complicated," I rush out, desperately trying to think of something to say in response that isn’t me confessing my feelings for him.
“I knew things were different when it came to the two of you,” I add carefully, not really referring to my feelings, but the words seem to fit just the same.
“You can deny it all you want, but things with you and her have always been more, she was just the first one of you to gather up the courage to not just admit it, but act on it too.” I can tell my candor surprises him, but if we are laying our cards on the table, or some of them at least, then he needs to understand.
“Was I surprised to find you in my girl’s bed?
Sure,” I shrug with a smile, my cock twitching at the memory.
“But I was more mad at the fact I wasn’t invited,” I add with a wink, aiming to lighten the mood, as I feel a fresh trail of blood trickle down my mouth.
Zack absentmindedly reaches up and swipes it away, in a move so tender that if I weren’t leaning on the counter, it would have taken me to my knees, before he sighs and pulls away.
“I’m sorry for making you bleed,” he mutters, staring at me with a look I can’t decipher, and the regret is clear in his tone, but still I smile.
“No you’re not,” I bait, desperate to see if, despite everything, we can still exist the way we did before, and to my delight he smirks.
“You’re right, I’m not,” he grunts, once again finishing his drink, but I can feel the tension still rolling off him in waves.
“Come on, let’s go,” I tell him, finishing off my own drink and grabbing my phone to order a cab.
“Where?”
“To get a real fucking drink, I’m sure we both need one.”
Thirty minutes later we are sliding into a booth in Dakota’s, giving the server our order.
It’s bustling with their elite list of clients like always, but thankfully Zack and I are tucked away in a booth at the back.
I try to remember the last time we came here together, or even the last time we hung out just the two of us in general, but I can’t.
I mean, yeah, we see each other all the time, work out together, but our friendship in other ways has definitely been put on the back-burner this last year.
Which is understandable, but I can’t deny how good it feels to be here with him right now, slipping back into the ease of things, even after what he knows.
I always knew going after Lily would be a risk, that I could lose him, but my feelings for him aside, I knew it was worth it.
When the server drops off our drinks, we are still quiet, both of us watching the rest of the room, no doubt unsure of what to say, and thankfully Zack is the one to break the ice.
“So we finally fucked the same girl, huh,” he laughs, clearly trying to make light of the situation, and I can’t help but snort.
“Well, I do hear that best friends tend to do everything together,” I reply, not intending for it to sound so flirty, but it just comes out that way, and my best friend’s eyes darken.
Fuck. He can’t look at me, not like that, not like this one-sided fucking crush I have been harboring for him since we were fucking kids, isn’t so one-sided anymore.
I lick my lips, still tasting the copper tang on my tongue from the mark he left behind, and it has me swallowing thickly, as his eyes track the movement.
“I’m not sure that’s what they mean when they say that,” he mumbles, still staring at me, and if he doesn’t stop I’m going to fucking kiss him in this crowded bar.
I open my mouth to say something. What? I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll just tell him every sordid idea in my mind when it comes to him, and see what he has to say, but before I can, another voice beats me to it.