Chapter 29 #2
Max sighs, the mask on his face unrelenting, as he finally admits, “It’s been there for as long as I can remember for me, but you were my very straight best friend, nothing more.” I nod slowly as he speaks, recalling all the moments of our friendship and wondering how I never saw it.
But I did, didn’t I?
He has always had my back, was always there every time I needed him, and has looked out for my family as if they were his own.
And for the last year he has been the one constant in my sister’s life outside of me, except that wasn’t for me, it was for her.
They fit together perfectly, and for some weird reason, they still want me.
“Do you love her?” His question cuts into my thoughts, and I’m nodding before I can have another thought.
“Of course I do, she’s my…” I trail off before I can finish my sentence, realizing that I can no longer keep thinking of her as my sister.
I mean she is, we will always be family, but what I feel for her now is so much more. I still love her, but now I crave her in ways I never thought possible, desire her in ways I never saw coming, and love her… My own thoughts trail off before that final thought can fully land.
Fuck.
What the hell is happening to me?
“You can’t use that big brain of yours to make sense of this, Zack, you’re either in this with us, or you’re not.”
A million things go to war inside my mind.
The fact I’m clearly not as straight as I thought, the fact I want Lily in ways I never expected, and the fact last night was the hottest night of my entire life.
They love one another, but are still holding space in their relationship for me, and instead of being pissed off or jealous about what they have, all I want to do is join.
My lips are on his in the next second, erasing that last bit of distance between us, and just like in the pool cave, it’s as if everything feels right with just the feel of his mouth on mine.
The only thing missing is her, and it’s at this moment that I understand what I want.
I want them, both of them, and I’m done pretending I don’t.
“I want this, I want you, I want her,” I pant against his mouth, kissing him with passion instead of pent-up lust, letting go of the restraints inside of me and free falling into their abyss.
“It’s about fucking time, Royton,” he grunts, kissing me back just as hard, our hands once again exploring one another’s bodies.
My thoughts once again stray to when I walked in here last night and found Lily on her knees, imagining what it would have been like if I were to be the one to watch him fuck her.
Or better yet, fuck her together. My cock awakens once more, grinding against him desperately until he grunts into my mouth.
I’m almost certain things are about to get heated again, until the door slamming closed forces us to rip apart.
When I turn, I find Lily watching us, no hint of jealousy on her face, just a splash of surprise and a whole lot of lust. “Damn, and I thought my day couldn’t get any better,” she jokes, dumping her bag on the floor by the door, walking into the middle of the room.
Max’s hand is still loosely collared around my throat, but she doesn’t seem disturbed by the fact at all, and even after what I just said, it still feels a little surreal.
I’m standing here pressed against her boyfriend, our lips swollen from our kiss, and instead of being jealous, she looks desperate to join us.
“We may have got caught getting hot and heavy in the cave and then decided to bring the party up here,” Max jokes, making her gaze snap to his.
“Who caught you?” she asks, a smile pulling at the corner of her mouth, and I haven’t seen it in so long that it almost brings me to my knees.
“Jace,” Max confirms, and this time she laughs and it’s music to my damn ears.
“Oh my god, again!” Her stare snaps back to mine, and I am instantly transported back to having her pinned to the wall of that cave.
The feeling of her hot silk wrapped around my fingers is still so potent in my mind.
“Well, one less person to tell, I guess,” she shrugs, kicking off her shoes, still watching the two of us.
“And in the case of full disclosure, Elle knows too.”
At her words my eyes widen in surprise. “You told her?” I don’t mean for my question to sound accusatory, but I can’t help it, this is still so new.
Lily shakes her head. “Of course I didn’t, but she’s Elle King,” she replies with another shrug, as if that sums it up, and in a way it does.
There isn’t much that happens within our family without her knowing about it, so I guess I can’t be surprised. I know I should probably go and talk to her, my mom and dad too, but something is keeping me rooted in place.
This is it, this is the last moment where I could walk away and let them be happy without me, but I can’t.
I should, but something is holding me in place.
I don’t care how wrong it may be, we’ve already lost too much, and I’m not losing them too, but right now I’m not sure how it would be possible to keep them.