Chapter Seven #2
I’m numb as the wind batters us. The muffled buzz puts me in a strange headspace.
With her warm body in my lap and my thoughts creating a history of abuse, I’m unsure how to proceed.
I’d been so convinced it was her youth finally coming out.
I always feared she’d wake up and realize what she’d give up being with an older man.
I was ready to settle down, make things official, and build a life on our own terms. I thought she wanted that too.
She might’ve. Pushing the doubts away, I take in the battered landscape.
Downed trees, tops of cars peeking out of the water, and floating bits and pieces of people’s lives make my heart heavy.
We’ll rebuild, but it’ll take time, and the things we lost can never truly be recovered.
T-Landry returns us to the drop-off point where Guid’s boat is docked. “You get da girls back to your home, warm and safe. I’ll take care of this.”
“You don’t have to do it alone, brother,” Guid says.
“We both know I have all the best spots. Ain't no one gonna see hide nor hair of him again, you heard?” He stares us down, yelling above the fans to be heard.
“Alright, brother. I appreciate it.” I hold my hand out and we shake on it. Protecting our community is part of an unspoken law we take seriously down this way. Unbuckling us from the seat, I carefully rise. I time my movement to the rocking of the boat.
T-Landry cuts the engine, and we deboard. Stepping onto the wood we make our way to Guidry’s sleeker, motor powered boat. I’m reluctant to place her in a seat when her teeth have begun to chatter, but I know it’s the safest option.
“What’s wrong with her?” Betti asks. She crowds me, in the seat to my right, peering down at her sister.
“She’s probably got a little bit of shock, exhaustion, and dehydration going on.”
“The pumps stopped working a few days back,” Betti admits shakily. “She said she had enough water for both of us.”
“I’m sure she did what was necessary.” Guid pats her shoulder.
“Bullshit.” Betti sniffs. “Why do you always have to put yourself last?” she screams.
Unable to answer, Rowan simply shakes her head.
“Here.” Guid pulls open a compartment and comes out with blankets. I pile them onto Rowan as he starts up the boat. Jumping off, I untie us and ask myself what happens if she needs more care than the doc can administer at home. I can’t stay here long, and she needs a solid alibi.
Bring her with you. It’s the last thing I expected to do.
I thought we’d have it out, and I’d be on my way.
She’s in no shape to give me what I need.
Kicking people when they’re down feels slimy.
Why not stretch out the plan? Watching her drift off to sleep, I come to an agreement.
I’ll wait till she’s up and running before I launch my revenge tour.
Winning on a technicality isn’t the kind of redemption I’m seeking. Leaning back into the seat. I let my brain shut down. Despite the circumstances, it’s good to be back home. I can still see the landmarks that are above water level.
The moon shines through Spanish moss, creating eerie fog over the water, as the temperature jumps when we reach a safe dock to exit. Busying ourselves safely exiting the ship, we get the girls settled into the back row of the Jeep and hook the boat up.
The ride to my home is quiet as the girls go to sleep, and I make arrangements for Doc to meet me there. Every club has access to medical care. Some have a dedicated practitioner, while others have an office that serves multiple.
We cross the state line.
“What are we going to do with them?” Guid asks carefully to keep his voice low.
“My doctor will be waiting to look them over and administer treatment at home. I let Lotte know they’ve been found, so I imagine she’s preparing things for them to keep busy.”
“That’s good.” He eyes me cautiously.
Sensing his hesitation, I scoff. “You worried about leaving them alone with me? The fuck?”
“Betti? No. her sister...” he trails off
“What the hell does that mean?”
“You’re torn when it comes to her. One minute you’re furious, and the next you’re looking at her like she’s the most precious thing in the world.”
Maybe she’s both. “Do you blame me for being conflicted?”
“No. Not that you ever went into detail about what happened between you.” He pauses. I remain silent. He exhales. “Fine.”
“Is it so inconceivable that she did me dirty? Well, don’t hold back. I want to hear this.” I prop myself up against the door, studying his face.
Grimacing, he runs a hand over the back of his neck. “I can see things from both sides.” He’s using his neutral cop tone. I want to punch him.
“What side did she have, huh?” I whisper, bitterly.
“That’s for her to tell you.”
The words set off an alarm. I turn in my seat.
Staring straight ahead, his expression is suspiciously blank.
“You wanna share somtin’ with da class? Cause him hitting her for the first time during the storm is unlikely.
She's been getting beaten on and you never tol’ me?
” My accent thickens and my chest swells.
“No, cuz. I’m just sayin’ how hard she worked to care for her sister. That’s not a heartless woman. She could’ve walked away ages ago and left her to fend for herself.”
“Dat’s not who she is.”
“So, you admit, whatever went down between the two of you was out of character.”
“Fuck. Don’t get yourself involved in dis. It’s gonna be messy.” Stomping down the sympathy threatening to rise, I clear my throat. “’Sides, people change.”
“I think you should talk to her before you do anything rash.”
“We’ll have plenty of time together for me to get my point across.”
I can tell he doesn’t agree but knows better than to question me. Letting the past die didn’t heal shit. After all this time, the two of us are still bonded. I need to break that link for good.
Guidry grunts. “And then what?”
I don’t know, but it’s time for me to figure it out. Time and distance didn’t let me pull the weeds out at the root. One interaction with her in a vulnerable state, and I wanted to slay fucking dragons and shield her from harm.
How easily I forgot the miserable aftermath of her callous rejection.
I spent months going over our entire relationship and years extracting revenge on women who I can admit now didn’t deserve the fucked-up head games I played before settling down into a lax no-commitment policy that kept women at a distance without killing my soul.
I’ve never been into humiliation or power plays, not after the horror stories I witnessed back home. Looking in the mirror and seeing a man I never wanted to become had been a sobering experience.
And now you’re going to lose yourself for revenge again? No, I’m going to teach a lesson. This is about the two of us, not a complete personality transplant. I need this. This woman has a supernatural hold on me.
The scent of stale water assaults my nostrils as we make our way through the receding water. We only caught the edge of the storm, but the effect is noticeable. A strained silence settles over the car. I feel my cousin’s disapproval like an invisible weighted blanket.
Staring out the window, I ignore him. With his high school sweetheart turned wife and 2.5 children, he has no idea what I’ve been through. The vibrating in my pocket is a welcome distraction.
“What’s up, boss?”
“We got problems here, brother. Shit has kicked off faster than I anticipated.” Stone’s voice is off. I can hear the worry over the phone line.
“What happened?” I sit up in my seat.
“There was a raid at a local strip joint. They took Wiz and Shadow in.” Reading between the info he rattles off, the cops interrupting a meeting and shackling two of our most prominent protectors feels intentional.
“What are they charging them with?”
“Not sure yet. They haven’t let them place their first calls. We got all this second-hand from the girls who were there during the raid.”
“Fuck.”
“I need you back as soon as possible.”
“Understood. It’s going to be harder to leave than it was to get here. Everyone is scrambling to escape the devastation.”
“I get it. Whenever you can get back.”
I hang up with my mind working at high speed. This changes things. “Drama is popping off back home. I need to leave as soon as possible.”
Guid’s eyes widen comically. I’d laugh if the situation weren’t so damn dire. This is an assault on our way of life. “So, you’re going to forget whatever foolhardy plan you cooked up with Ro, then?”
“Non. She’s coming with me. The plan remains the same. Doc will already prep her to travel. This just pushes the timeline forward.”
“Don’t lose yourself trying to get back at a version of a child who is now a woman.”
“Do I tell you how to run your life, cuz?”
His jaw tenses, and he grips the wheel hard. “You want to fight wit me on dis? Dat’s fine. But I stand by what I said.” Shedding the cop persona, he becomes the kin I grew up with.
“Why da hell you defending her so much? Something you wanna share?” I ask.
He snorts. “I know you aren’t serious. You left. I’ve been there watching shit unfold in real time. Believe me, that girls suffered plenty.
“The hell does that mean?” He swore earlier that he didn’t know of a history of abuse. My sister, Lotte, rarely mentions Rowan, and no one else I know keeps tabs.
“Their pa got worse every year. Who do you think picked up the slack with their mama in the wind?”
“You want me to feel bad when she could’ve been far away from all dis hell. If she left wit me, her ma woulda had to take Betti with her when she ran off. I ain’t gonna feel sorry because Rowan’s choices had consequences.”
Guidry grunts.
I push down the urge to feel sympathetic, holding on to my unresolved anger.
I’m used to being at odds with Guidry. He’s laced much tighter and on higher moral ground. We tend to meet in the middle. But I can’t give in on this point. I’ve waited too long for this chance to kill my demons.