Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
“MANY ARE THE STARS I SEE, BUT IN MY EYE NO STAR LIKE THEE” BY URSINE VULPINE
LUNA
The next couple of days pass in a bit of a blur, Mom and Richard having taken themselves off to god knows where, so we don’t have to deal with that tension, thank fuck.
There is still some lingering apprehension, and the guys suggest that once we get my scan results, we should think about moving into their Mom’s property regardless.
My stomach swoops whenever I think about moving in with them. It’s like a dream, yet also terrifying because it’s such a big step, but then Thorn’s words replay in my mind. It’s just the next step for us, and I can’t deny that it feels right too. So fucking right.
Soon, we’re heading back to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute for my results, and my mouth is dry as we once again pull up outside of the hospital after a fucking long drive.
“Thank you for driving me all the way here,” I say to Blade as we get out. He drove here, Chase offering to drive back, and I really don’t underestimate how tiring it must be to drive for that long.
“I’d do so much more for you, Goldilocks,” Blade states, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into him, placing a soft kiss on my silk headscarf. It’s another colorful Hermès one that Thorn bought me.
I count my lucky stars as we enter the building, the feel of the Institute same as the last time; clinical but with an attempt at warmth.
Chase goes over to reception while we go back to those white couches and take a seat to wait.
There are a couple of people also waiting, but it’s not busy, which I’m grateful for.
Here’s something they don’t tell you about cancer: it’s fucking boring. Between the terror and the pain are endless stretches of waiting. Waiting for test results. Waiting for drugs to drip. Waiting to feel better. Waiting to feel worse. Waiting to live. Waiting to die.
“Luna?” a feminine voice interrupts my pity party, and I look up to find Nurse Susan smiling at me as Chase walks back to us from the front desk.
“Hi, Susan, how are you?” I ask, getting to my feet. I wobble slightly, dizziness rushing over me, but Blade is there to steady me, Thorn taking hold of my hand on the other side.
“I’m good. Are you okay?” she questions, her brows furrowed as her kind grey eyes look me over.
I huff a laugh, the foyer no longer spinning. “Yeah, just a little dizzy, but nothing I’m not used to.”
“Okay, well, let me know if it gets worse. I’m to take you to Dr. Kim for your results, if you could follow me?”
My chest feels tight as we follow her to the consulting rooms where we first met Dr. Kim, my stomach churning as I wonder what the scan will show. Will my cancer be gone? Or will it be worse?
“It’ll be fine, Goldilocks,” Blade whispers from next to me, clearly sensing my turbulent thoughts. “Whatever the results, we will get through it, okay, baby?”
I cast a glance at him as we approach the doctor’s door. “Okay.”
Susan knocks before opening the door, ushering us in.
“Luna, come in. You look a bit better than when I saw you last,” he tells me, his hand out, and I shake awkwardly because shaking hands is fucking awkward. He does the same with the guys, greeting them, which I appreciate.
“Yeah, I’m feeling a bit better. Nervous, but not as tired, I guess,” I tell him, taking one of the chairs in front of his desk. Blade remains at my back, as usual, his hand landing on my shoulder in silent support. Chase comes to sit next to me, Thorn standing on my other side.
“I’m glad to hear it. Now, we have your results,” Dr. Kim tells me, tapping at his keyboard, then turning the monitor screen so we can see.
It’s a slice of me, with colorful areas, especially around my chest. “The PET scan shows uptake in the mediastinal nodes,” Dr. Kim explains while pointing to the hot spots.
“This shouldn’t be the case if the current treatment was working optimally. ”
Before he can simplify, I translate for the guys, remembering this possibility from last time. “The cancer’s still active in my chest and it looks like your dad’s treatment isn’t the miracle he claims.”
Blade nods, his face showing no surprise, and I almost roll my eyes. Smart fucking bastard didn’t need the explanation.
“What’s the next step?” Chase demands, already reaching for his phone, presumably to start making arrangements.
“I’d suggest stopping the current treatment, then starting the BEAM protocol followed by the bone marrow transplant, of which I believe you three are viable donors?” He looks down at his notes, nodding. “Yes, Blade Banks is the most optimal, but all three of you are a match.”
“Okay, let’s move forward with that,” Chase answers, and Dr. Kim nods once more, but to give him credit, he looks at me.
“Are you happy with that, Luna?”
I suck my lower lip in. I know the guys have reservations about their father’s ‘miracle treatment,’ and frankly, so do I, especially after seeing my results.
But the transplant isn’t risk-free, in fact, it’s pretty risk-full.
Plus the guys would suffer, and I’m not sure how I’ll feel watching them hurt for me.
“Whatever you’re thinking, Star, stop.” I look away from Dr. Kim to find the gold in Chase’s eyes sparkling. “We will gladly give you anything you need. It’s no sacrifice at all.”
“Did you know that people who get bone marrow transplants have mixed DNA?” Thorn interjects from my other side, and I look over at him, shaking my head. I didn’t know that.
“That’s right, Goldilocks, we’ll forever be a part of you, part of your DNA,” Blade whispers into my ear from behind, and my eyelids flutter as my cheeks heat. Why does that thought please me so fucking much? “We’ll be deeper inside you than anyone else has ever been.”
Oh god, I’m trying to hold in my reaction because the poor doctor does not need to see me being turned on by my possessive stepbrother.
“Not even death will be able to separate us, Star,” Chase informs me, and I turn to look at him again.
“Okay,” I say, holding Chase’s intense gaze for a moment longer before looking back at Dr. Kim. “Let’s do it.”
“Good girl,” Blade murmurs in my ear because he’s a fucking degenerate who wants to see me self-combust in front of my cancer specialist.
“Excellent, I’ll write up the new treatment plan and send it over,” Dr. Kim states, being the ultimate professional and ignoring the slight undercurrent of sexual tension in the room.
Good man. “Then we can start transplant prep in two weeks time, which fits the timeframe of when you finished your last round of chemotherapy. Any questions?”
“Will it hurt her?” Thorn asks, the only question that clearly matters to him. My heart melts because he’s not asking about himself and what he’s about to undergo. Instead, he’s just worried about me.
Dr. Kim’s gaze softens as he looks from Thorn to me.
“The pre-transplant conditioning is more high-intensity than your ICE Protocol and is used to eliminate all remaining cancer cells and suppress your immune system. It’ll be six days of consecutive treatment immediately before the transplant.
You can expect similar side effects to what you’ve already experienced, and there’s a high-risk of potential organ toxicity and infection.
” Taking a deep inhale, I give him a nod to continue, my hand gripping Thorn’s tightly.
“The most painful part will probably be the repeated bone marrow biopsies. It’s the only way to get a definitive assessment of the cancer in the bone marrow.
The pain can be moderate to severe during the procedure as they have to insert a needle into your hip bone, and the site can be sore for several days afterwards. ”
I let out a shaky exhale, Blade’s hand tightening on my shoulder, letting me know he’s here and not going anywhere. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
Dr. Kim gives me a smile, like my false can-do attitude is amusing. “That’s the spirit. I’ll send through all the details, and we shall see you again in a couple of weeks.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” I say, getting up but not letting go of Thorn’s hand.
“We appreciate you taking on Luna’s case,” Chase states, holding his hand out to shake Dr. Kim’s again. See, he doesn’t make it look awkward. Bastard.
“I’m glad I can help, truly,” Dr. Kim replies, shaking Blade’s hand as he steps forward, and then Thorn’s, who keeps my other hand wrapped around his. “Take care until then, and you have my contact if you need anything.”
He walks us out to the reception, and then we’re walking out of the doors into the early fall sunshine. The trees sway in the breeze, and I just stand at the top of the steps, eyes closed and letting the sun warm my face, just breathing for a moment.
“You okay, Moonbeam?” Thorn asks me, and I open my eyes as I turn to look at him.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “It’s a lot, and I hate that you guys are going to hurt because of me.”
He’s shaking his head as he takes a step to stand in front of me, dropping my hand so that he can cup my face in his warm palms. “Don’t think like that, Goldie. We would take all the pain away if we could. This is nothing, fucking nothing, if it means we can help in a small way.”
I open my mouth to protest, but like the asshole he still is, he silences me with his lips on mine.
He tastes like the sun that tries to break through the clouds, like he’s willing his positive energy into my body, into my very cells, and my hands reach up to cling to his forearms as I open my mouth and let him slip his tongue inside.
I want to believe him, want to believe that I will make it through this time like I have every other time this fucking disease has reared its ugly head.
Slowly, we part, and he presses a final kiss on the tip of my nose. “Let’s get you back home, and if you’re lucky, I’ll give you a foot massage.”
I laugh, opening my eyes to find the others have gotten in the truck, Chase in the driver’s seat, Blade in the back.
“I’ll hold you to that.” I threaten as Thorn and I make our way to the truck.
“I would hope so,” he answers cheekily, opening the door and helping me get into the middle. “I’ll even let one of my brothers eat you out while I do it.”
I almost faceplant into Blade’s lap as I stumble because of Thorn’s dirty words.
“I volunteer as tribute,” Blade states, completely deadpan as he helps me sit down and buckles me in.
“You don’t even know what we’re talking about,” I huff, though it’s all breathy and shit on account of the visuals that are currently playing through my mind.
“I don’t need to, Goldilocks. If it involves my tongue and your pussy, that’s all I need to know.”
“You are all fucking perverts,” I tell them, which earns me three masculine chuckles.
“You love us this way,” Thorn tells me with a wink as he buckles in and Chase pulls away from the Institute.
“I do, so fucking much,” I reply, leaning over and pecking his lips before doing the same to Blade.