Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
“BORDERLINE” BY S?D VEN
LUNA
The next few days pass by in an exhausted, agony-filled blur.
The pain meds help when it gets too much, but leave me so drowsy that I sleep for most of the time, waking only for a few moments before the darkness claims me again.
I have complete immune suppression at this point, to help my body accept the triplets’ blood, so it’s the highest infection risk period.
I end up with a TPN, my nutrition through a vein, because I can no longer eat solid foods.
My mouth, throat, and GI tract is so badly inflamed that even swallowing is hard.
Talking is a no-go for me, but the guys still chat to me when I’m awake.
Thorn telling me his terrible jokes, Chase explaining all the plans he has in place for our return to The Cottage, and Blade giving me all the praise.
One day, as I’m unable to speak through the pain, Thorn settles on the bed, careful of my IV.
He pulls out one of my favourite romance books, a dark romance with a stepbrother trope, which has my dry lips twitching.
He begins reading, and somehow, it feels more intimate than a kiss at this moment.
Every time I’m awake, he continues, the sound of his voice soothing.
I love that he knows what I need, this small touch of normalcy in such a trying situation.
After about two weeks, I start to get a little more energy, apparently the triplets’ cells are beginning to produce new blood cells, which is supported by my white blood cell count recovery.
I’ve got a low-grade fever, but I’ll take it, especially when my mucositis—my throat and mouth sores—start to heal.
Chase helps me to the bathroom on the fifteenth day—I’m beyond the point of worrying about peeing in front of them—and I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
My body is a battlefield now—parts of me missing, other parts marked.
It’s not easy to look at myself, to see the journey I’ve undergone so viscerally and in all its stark horror.
It’s this more than the pain, more than all the other symptoms that has a moment of doubt flickering in my mind, a dark voice whispering it’s time to give up.
“What if I don’t—” I start, but Chase presses his finger to my lips.
“Don’t. We already lost someone we loved once. It won’t happen again. You are getting better, Star, everything else will follow.”
“And we’re choosing this, choosing you,” Blade adds from the bathroom doorway, his certainty unshakable as his eyes catch mine in the mirror, unflinching at the wreck that is my appearance.
Thorn appears by his side, his eyes holding mine. “Every moment. No matter how many we get.”
I meet Chase’s green eyes again, the gold inside them almost sparkling.
His gaze dips over me, heating every place it touches as he looks at me, his eyes dark with want despite everything that I can see.
When Chase looks at me like this, when any of them look at me with a banked heat making their eyes burn with green fire, I feel whole in a way medicine can’t achieve.
The next few days pass with my energy increasing and my pain decreasing, the guys watching me like hawks.
There’s a new dark heat in their eyes, and I can feel it in my veins, quite literally.
The fact that they are such a fundamental part of me is heady for us all, and although I’m too tired to act upon it, it’s building all the same.
Mid-morning on day twenty, there’s a knock on the door, and when Chase calls for them to come in, my mouth parts as my mother walks in.
Chase told me that she’d visited once before, and that she’d asked to come back when I was more awake.
He also told me she’d left Richard, after Chase had sent her an email telling her what Richard had done, how he’d used me for his own medical trials.
“Luna love,” she greets, her voice going thick as her eyes fill with tears.
“Mom,” I whisper, Thorn places a kiss on my temple, then gets up from the bed. All three guys head to the table in the other corner, giving us some space.
“You’re looking well, love,” she says, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her. She walks over to the bed I’m sitting up in, hesitating. “Can I… Can I hug you, love?”
“Of course, Mom,” I manage to get out around the lump in my throat. She bends over, her arms wrapping around me, and her familiar floral perfume washes over me, opening the floodgates as tears drip from my eyes.
“Oh, love. I’m so sorry I’ve been such a shit mom lately,” she tells me, her own voice wobbly. “I thought I was doing the best thing, but, well, I’m just so fucking sorry.”
She doesn’t usually curse quite as much, but I know that just shows she means what she’s saying.
“It’s okay, Mom,” I reply automatically, but I feel her shake her head even as she pulls back a little, her blue eyes sparkling with the tears in them.
“It’s not okay, Luna love. I should have been here more for you, and not reacted so poorly when you told me about your relationship with the guys.
I’m so glad you’ve had them, and they’ve taken such good care of you.
” I cast a glance over at them to find all three of them looking at us with soft smiles.
“They’ve been amazing, Mom. I wouldn’t have gotten through this without them,” I tell her while holding Blade’s dark green stare. “They’ve been my rocks, and with the transplant, well, what we have is serious and forever.”
I switch my focus to her, anticipating her censure, or at least doubt. I know I’m young, that we all are, but if my life and recent experiences have taught me anything, it’s that life is too short not to take happiness where you can find it. And if it feels right, it usually is.
But she just looks pleased, happy even as she beams at me. “I know, love, and not that you need it, but you have my full blessing. I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d trust with my daughter’s happiness.”
“Thank you,” I murmur, my gaze flicking back to the table to see them all grinning. “And thanks for coming here, to see me.”
“I should have been with you the whole time, but Richard kept me away. I didn’t realise he was doing it on purpose before, I was just so grateful for his help. I’m so sorry I didn’t see what was going on, what he’d been planning even before we got married. I should have seen it, Luna.”
“No, Mom, it’s not your fault. It’s his,” I tell her as she sits down in the chair, wiping underneath her eyes with the hand that’s not clutching mine. “Men like him, they are manipulative and know how to target vulnerable people, Mom. It’s not your fault, you were just trying to help me.”
She takes an inhale, squeezing my hand. “Maybe, but it still feels like I should have somehow known.” I go to protest again, but she holds her other hand up. “But enough of that. I want to hear about how you’re doing, and what your plans are for when you’re discharged.”
We spend the next couple of hours chatting until my eyelids start to droop, and she gets up to leave.
“I’ll be back soon. I need to talk to you about your father, something I should have maybe told you long ago, but it can wait.
” She casts a glance over her shoulder at the guys, who nod, but I’m too tired to insist they tell me now.
I trust that if they know, and are happy for her to leave it for another time, then it’s not urgent.
She’s not spoken about my dad much before, and although I’m curious, I always got the impression it was painful for her, not exactly a pleasant story. “I love you, Luna. See you soon.”
She gives me a kiss on my forehead, then I watch as she goes over to the guys, hugging them each before she leaves as my eyes close.
Over the next few days, I’m able to start taking food and my medications orally, and with no signs of active infections, it looks promising. On day twenty-five, Susan comes in, a large grin on her face.
“Well, good morning, campers. How are we doing today?” She looks at me, and I give her a smile in return.
“The mouth sores are almost all gone, and though I doubt I’ll be running marathons anytime soon, I could definitely stay awake for most of the day,” I reply, and her smile grows.
“That’s good to hear, because Dr. Kim has reviewed your progress and has agreed, given you have such good caregivers at home, that you are ready to be discharged.”
My mouth drops open as Thorn gives a whoop, pulling me into a tight hug.
“Really?”
“Yes, Luna, really. You’ve made amazing progress, and you’ll have daily outpatient visits at Mount Vernon to keep checking you continue improving,” she tells me, and I glance over at Blade to find a smile on his plush lips, then at Chase, who is also grinning.
It’s like a weight has finally been lifted, and I can breathe a bit easier.
“Now, there are a few more things to go through. Chase has the strict food safety protocols, no crowds or public places for the time being, and no sharing of personal items.” I raise an eyebrow at her and she chuckles.
“Wear a mask if you do have to go out, but I recommend for the next three to six months to stay away from others as much as you can to really give yourself a chance to heal fully.”
My heart stops. “You think I can heal? Fully, I mean?”
Her face softens as Thorn’s arms pull me closer. “Yes, Luna. I do, and your results are looking that way too.”
A lump forms in my throat, and I swallow hard as my eyes prick. “Thank you.”
Hope has been such a dangerous thing before now, but this…this feels like all my best days rolled into one and I don’t want to run away from it.
“You’re most welcome. Right, I’ll go and get the paperwork sorted, so I suggest you start packing.” She gives me another wide smile before turning around and leaving.
“We’re going home, baby,” Thorn whispers, gently turning me in his arms. His green eyes sparkle, unshed tears making them shine bright. “Told you it would be okay.”
A happy sob falls from my lips, and I bury my face into his chest, my arms encircling him, clutching him tightly to me as the feeling overwhelms me. Warmth at my back followed by the scent of smokey vanilla is followed by Blade’s arms coming around me too.
“I’m so fucking proud of you, Goldilocks,” he rumbles in my ear, making my tears fall faster. “You’ve done so fucking well.”
I turn my head to find emerald eyes with flecks of gold gazing at me, Chase’s hand reaching out and cupping my damp cheek. “You are astounding, Star. Braver than anyone else I’ve ever met. I love you.”
“I love you too, all of you,” I whisper, his thumb brushing the fresh tears that glide down my cheeks. “Can we go home now?”
“Of course, baby,” Blade replies, placing a kiss on my head before stepping back. “Chase and I will start packing, you rest with Thorn.”
“No complaints here,” Thorn states as Chase’s hand falls away and he joins Blade in packing up all the shit we’ve got. Thorn leads me to a chair that we placed in front of the window, sitting down in it and then pulling me onto his lap. “What will be the first thing you do when we get back?”
I look out the window, seeing the first buds of spring flowers in the ground pushing up, the leaves on the trees starting to unfurl.
“Can we go in the sea?”
He blows out a breath. “It will freeze my balls off, but sure, Moonbeam. We can go paddle.” We both chuckle as we stare outside, the sunshine feeling like a fresh start, a new beginning.
The hospital discharges me at six forty-two PM. By seven fifteen, I’ve shed my patient identity along with my hospital bracelet and I’m in the truck we arrived in all those weeks ago, heading back home.
Home.
The Cottage by the sea feels just that, especially with the triplets with me. The three pieces of my soul who I can’t see a future without.
Just as my body accepts their blood, my heart betrays me too—adapting to their presence, creating space where there used to only be walls, which is the most dangerous side effect of all this that no one warned me about.
And one that I would gladly accept for the rest of my life.