Chapter 27 #3
I force myself to look normal as I nod. “Yeah.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks. “You… it’s not like you’ve had anyone to talk about it to besides your eye-gouging beast.”
I smile, glancing at Quill. “He’s a good listener. He doesn’t sass me back like you do.”
“That’s what makes me fun,” Riley says.
Feeling the warmth of his fingers in mine, I tell him, “I lost so many good people out here. I promised to protect them… but I couldn’t even do that.
The horseman’s soldiers killed thousands, but when I cut down the horseman, the praise I received…
it’s like I can still hear it. They were so happy, not at all aware that death was spreading among them…
“My soldiers didn’t even have time to finish burying all of the dead before they joined them.
I dug a mass grave, feeling like I’d betrayed those I loved.
How could I just… toss them on top of each other instead of giving every single one a grave of their own?
But I became aware that I was weakening, and their bodies would be left to rot if I buried them one at a time. ”
Riley squeezes my hand, gently pulling me back to the present. “They all fought together, they were brothers-in-arms; I’m positive that they would not find fault in being buried next to the ones they fought hard with.”
“That’s a nice way of looking at it,” I say as I look to the left, where a mass grave lies.
Quill and I were surrounded by the dead for so long.
I became obsessed with this idea that I must bury them all, even if it took me years to find everyone, and then…
there was nothing left for me. My purpose was gone.
Riley tugs my hand. “No. Focus on me.”
“I’m not going to be able to save you,” I say, which is something I’ve been thinking about this whole time… or rather obsessing over.
He leans closer. “Stop. We’re going to do this.”
“And then I’m going to be all alone again,” I choke out, feeling like I’m spiraling. I shouldn’t have come out here. I should have stayed in my bubble where I could pretend everything was fine.
Riley turns toward me and wraps his arms around me. “Shh. I know nothing can fix what happened in the past, but you can’t shoulder the pain alone. If we fail to save my world, will you believe it’s my fault?”
“You aren’t the god who promised to protect them.”
“There was no way you could protect them. There’s nothing you could have done differently.” He squeezes me tightly. “We’re going to do this, and I promise I won’t leave you. I promise you’ll never be alone again.”
Yes, but even if we do accomplish what seems like an impossible feat, he’s a human who will leave me in the blink of an eye.
How unfair is this life of mine that I once thought was a blessing?
Now I know that I will continue to be forced to watch everyone I love die, over and over.
But I will never again meet someone as special as Riley, no matter how long I live.
I feel weak and start to pull back from Riley, but he clings tightly to me, supporting my weight. “Hey, I think you’re having a panic attack.”
“Gods don’t have panic attacks.”
“This one must,” he says as he lowers me down until I’m seated then cups my face in his hands. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, so please, stay with me. Face the present with me.”
I nod, but then Riley’s eyes flash white and he grows slack.
“Riley?” I ask.
He pushes against me and staggers to his feet while the magic swirls around him, and I question if we were right, if the Door that brought me hell has opened again.
“Riley, what’s going on?”
“I… I don’t know,” he replies. “This fucking magic…”
At least he’s coherent this time.
“It’s too much. This magic… it’s consuming me,” he says as he begins stumbling toward the spot the Door once stood.
He has no way of knowing that’s where the Door was.
There’s no sign of it and it has long since been destroyed.
But it’s as though he’s drawn to it—or to the spot where it once was.
What if the god is controlling him? What if the god is the one who cursed him?
I lurch up to my feet and run after Riley, panic filling me that this Door is going to open up and that god is going to rush out and grab Riley.
But Riley moves past the location of the Door, and by the time I reach him, he’s kneeling on the ground, fingers dug into the soil. I realize there are tears running down his cheeks while he stares off, almost fixated on what’s in front of him, but Kit is looking at him, not at anything else.
“Riley? Riley, what’s going on?”
“The Door has opened,” he whispers, then collapses onto the ground.
I roll him over and check his breathing, but he seems fine.
It’s almost like he’s peacefully sleeping.
Filled with worry about what’s going on with him and why he’s growing worse, I rise with him in my arms. Quill is immediately there, no longer goofing around since he knows something is happening.
I lift Riley up onto his back and swing on myself.
The instant I’m seated, the beast runs. If Riley thought he was running fast before, it’s nothing compared to now.
Riley remains unresponsive, even as I see the palace coming into view just beyond the town I once adored and the beautiful trees that were destroyed by my lack of magic.
We race past the desolate town ravished by time and up the steps leading to the palace door. It’s flung open and Quill skids to a stop just in time to avoid it as Mickey comes hurrying out, followed by some of his undead.
“The Door just opened,” he says.
“Riley told me.”
“What happened to him?”
“I don’t know, he just fell unconscious again,” I say, holding him out to Tommy. “Can you please take him to our room and keep him there?”
“Riley’s going to be pissed if you don’t take him,” Mickey warns.
“It took hours for him to wake up last time. What the hell are we going to do? Haul an unconscious man around with us?” I ask. “If he wakes up, he can come join me. Stay here and protect him.”
“You’re going to defeat the horseman alone?”
I don’t answer him, and instead, Quill and I rush into the palace and through the Door.