Chapter 43
Chapter Forty-Three
Katya
One Month Later
The soft tones and gentle rhythms of Debussy’s Clair de Lune float around my sitting room, filling the air with a calm, glowing ambiance.
Bastian’s small hands glide over the piano keys naturally, more than impressive for his young age.
We played a song together only a few minutes ago, but this one is all his.
Sitting to the side of the piano bench so he can have the middle, I watch him with wonder, adoring every moment of spending this time together.
Leo wanted to swim today while Bastian seemed reluctant so Leon and I quickly came up with a compromise.
Swimming for those two, and music for me and my little buddy.
This is only our third time playing together since I moved in, but Bastian has gotten so much more confident in demonstrating his skill.
The past month has been nothing short of magical, growing closer to every single member of this household.
The kids and I have spent every single day together, laughing, playing, and learning as well.
Bastian has a gift for his early mathematics, picking up adding and subtracting with his fingers easily.
Meanwhile, Leo has really taken to writing.
His letters are solid and he comprehends the alphabet extremely well especially considering English is his second language.
The kids aren’t the only ones flourishing, though.
Leon and I have been on three more dates, each of them more romantic than the last. He’s taken to showering me with extravagant gifts, mostly flowers and jewelry that are always so lovely that I nearly tear up.
I’ve essentially moved into his bedroom at this rate, given that I sleep there almost every night.
We can’t keep our hands off each other, and I’m not complaining about it.
My husband never fails to make me feel like I’m floating.
It’s probably too soon to say so, but I’m almost positive I’ve fallen completely in love with him.
I have no frame of reference as far as being in love is concerned, but I don’t know if anything else can explain the way I feel about him.
He makes me smile just by walking into the room, and he never fails to make me feel beautiful when I catch the way he looks at me.
And I look at him the same way, at least I’m certain I must.
The song comes to an end, pulling me out of my thoughts and an easy smile paints my lips. Kissing the top of Bastian’s head, I pull him in for a side hug.
“That was beautiful, little love.”
“You could have done it better,” he replies with a shy lift of his shoulders.
“I’ve been playing piano for much longer,” I counter, shaking my head slowly.
“And I was never as talented at your age. You’re going to out perform me in no time if you stick with it.
You could be a professional by the time you’re a teenager if you wanted to be, you know? You’re a very gifted player, Bastian.”
He blinks up at me. “You think so?”
“Oh, I know so,” I correct, tapping his little nose. “Do you want to play something else now? Or would you like a break?”
He opens his mouth to reply when the door crashes open with a soft bang.
“Kat,” Leo shouts, rushing into the room on his small legs. “Kat, Kat, Kat! Guess what, guess what, guess what?” He’s panting as he runs up to me and his brother, bouncing on his heels as he comes to a stop in front of us.
“Where’s the fire?” I chuckle, looking down at his rosy cheeks and wide grin. “What’s up, little man? What’s the news?”
He takes a deep breath, preparing to blurt out his reply. “Daddy says my Rain-uhh comes to see us tomorrow! He say she can watch my bruther and me if you go on date wif him. You have to say yes. Say yes, puh-lease. Rain-uhh bring my baby Vaughn if you say yes.”
Normally when a man sends someone to ask you out on his behalf, it’s either awkward and or creepy. Leon just made it fucking adorable.
“I think that would be lovely,” I tell him, patting his head and brushing my fingers through his hair to try and calm him down. “I would love for your Aunt Rayna to come watch you while Daddy and I go on a date.”
Gino has been coming over with his wife and kids the past couple of times Leon and I went out, and the boys were excited to see them. But when they get visits from Leon’s siblings, their enthusiasm is unmatched.
“Yay,” he screeches, shooting a fist up in victory. “I have to go tell Daddy. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mommy! I love you!”
My heart skips around in my chest, shocked into a wonky rhythm as Leo rushes toward the door, trying to leave before I can even process what’s just happened.
He called me Mommy for the first time.
Tears well up in my eyes and I croak, “I love you too, buddy.”
He giggles happily, just barely catching my reply as he flies down the hallway to find his dad.
Leon is probably waiting for him at the stairs since his son is so giddy that he might try to run down them and get hurt.
He’s so close by, but I don’t know if he heard what just happened and my God, I can’t wait to gush about it to him later.
Clearing my throat quietly, I try to shake out of my delighted shock and address something more pressing.
Leon may or may not have overheard the moment, but Bastian definitely did.
He looks frozen in surprise, looking up at me with those wide and wondrous eyes of his.
There’s no fear to be found, but curiosity that I have to talk to him about.
We haven’t talked about the possibility of them calling me their mother yet, after all, not wanting to feel like they’re being pressured into it.
We hoped it would happen naturally, and it seems that it has for Leo.
Putting one of my hands on top of his, I lower my voice so I don’t startle him. “Bastian?”
He blinks. “Yes?”
“Are you okay, sweet boy?”
He hesitates and I try to remain calm.
“I just want to let you know that what just happened is perfectly okay with me and your daddy, okay? Leo didn’t do anything wrong, if you’re worried about that? I know it may seem strange, or scary, but it’s very normal and…it made me very happy to hear.”
“It did?” He bites his lip, looking contemplative.
“Of course it did,” I reply without pause. “I love you both very much. You’re my favorite people in the whole wide world, you know? I love spending every single day with the two of you, and I wouldn’t want to live any other way.”
Bastian looks like he might cry, and I don’t know whether they’re good tears or bad ones.
“I don’t want you to think you have to call me Mommy just because Leo seems to feel comfortable doing it,” I assure him, trying to sound as sincere as possible.
I fully mean it, too. I’d love to be that person for him, but he doesn’t need to be ready for it just because I am.
He lost his mother and he can take as much time as he needs to handle that loss.
“You can call me Katya for as long as you like, and it will never upset me, I promise.”
“Okay,” he whispers, his voice so small and vulnerable.
“I know I’m not the mama who gave birth to you, and I’d never want you to think that you have to erase her memory because I’m here now, okay? I’d love to give you the love that I know she wishes she could be here to give you, but you take as much time as you need, hmm?”
Bastian breathes out shakily, and I’m preparing to try and reassure him more when he speaks up.
“If I want to call you Mommy too, does that make me bad?” His bottom lip wobbles, and his eyes go shiny.
“Oh, honey, no,” I rush out, wrapping him up in a warm hug. “You could never be bad. You’re such a good, kind, loving boy, Bastian. Why would you think that, my sweet boy?”
“My mama died,” he breathes out shakily. “Won’t she be mad if I get a new one?”
“Not at all,” I tell him firmly. “Did you know that your mama loved you so much that she asked your daddy to marry someone new when she couldn’t be here anymore?
She wanted to make sure that you’d always have someone to love you alongside your daddy.
That’s how I came to be here, you know? In a way, your mama is the reason that I get to have you in my life.
She would want you to call me whatever feels best for you. ”
“Really?” He swallows and breathes hard.
“Really,” I promise, holding up my pinky to him.
He takes it slowly, wrapping his tiny finger around mine softly.
“I swear, little love. Your mama would want you to be happy and she would never be upset that you’re loved by me.
I think she’d be more upset if I wasn’t here to look after her boys, and to make them my boys too.
You and your brother are so special to me, sweetheart. ”
“I love you too,” Bastian whispers, resting his head on my shoulder as he goes in for another hug. “I loved Mama but she got shaky and sick and she didn’t want to see me so much. You won’t get sick, will you?”
“Oh, sweetheart.” I sniff back the wave of emotions his confession sends over me.
“I won’t get sick, but I’m sure your mama wanted to see you so much.
Sometimes when adults don’t feel good, they don’t want kids to see them while they’re feeling bad, you know?
She didn’t want you to have to see her while she got sick but that doesn’t mean she didn’t miss you like crazy. I just know it.”
Bastian nods into my arm, like he understands what I’m trying to explain. “I’m glad she isn’t sick anymore, even though we can’t see her now. Daddy says she isn’t in pain anymore.”
“That’s right,” I confirm with a nod he can’t see.
“Her pain is all gone, and we can remember her together whenever you want, okay? You can tell me all about her anytime you want to think about her. I’ll always be here to listen to you, my boy.
You can never make me sad or mad or upset with you, you understand?
I can handle anything you need to say, you just come tell me and we can talk about it. ”
“Okay.” He sniffles, making no move to pull away.
I don’t know how long we sit together, wrapped in a comforting hug, but it’s several minutes at least. He doesn’t try to squirm away or awkwardly excuse himself; if anything, he holds me tighter and breathes through the emotions that threatened to make him cry moments before.
He’s so brave, and I hope he knows that crying is always okay too.
Especially at his small age, he shouldn’t feel the need to repress his tears if they need to fall.
“Would you like to go downstairs with your brother and Daddy now?” I ask, dropping a kiss on top of his head. “I think it will be dinner time soon. I wonder if we’re going to have something tasty. I think it’s your dad’s turn to cook tonight and he always surprises us, doesn’t he?”
“Yeah,” Bastian replies, sounding lighter as he leans away from me to stand up from the bench. “Can we play again tomorrow, though? Before you go on your date?”
“Of course, we can.” I smile widely. “We can play whenever you want. It’s one of my favorite things, you know?
I love sharing the piano with you. And you know, I think I’ll talk to Daddy about going on a family date sometime soon.
Maybe we can take a trip together? Or just do something fun with all four of us out of the house. How does that sound?”
“Good,” Bastian replies bluntly, looking pleased at the idea. “Daddy has a cabin, and we’ve only been once because Mama didn’t like the cold…but maybe we could take you.”
“I think a cabin trip sounds dreamy,” I tell him, taking his hand in mine as we walk out of the room. “I would love to go with you guys. Winter is one of my favorite seasons, you know? I adore the snow, and I haven’t seen it in a very long time.”
Cleo probably didn’t like the cold because it aggravated her symptoms, the sad thought crosses the back of my mind. I wonder if she would have enjoyed the winter otherwise.
“We made snowmen,” Bastian reports, sounding shy about it. “And Daddy made cocoa.”
“I think we’ll have to ask about this trip soon,” I tell him enthusiastically. “It sounds like so much fun. I can help you two make snow angels and we can throw snow balls at your dad when he isn’t looking.”
He lets out a little giggle and my lips twitch.
Today is officially my favorite day, and I have to remember to mark it down in my phone calendar.
Today’s the day Leo called me Mommy for the first time, and Bastian implied he might do it in the future too.
I’m a mom to them, not just in practice but in reality.
I have to call my mom to tell her, but first, I have to tell Leon.
Part of me hopes he overheard it happening, but even if he didn’t, it happened.
It happened, and it was so beautiful I could cry just thinking about it.
“Mommy, we’re having lasagna,” Leo bellows as Bastian and I enter the kitchen. He’s standing on a tall chair, Leon hovering next to him in case he gets too excited and tips over.
The island counter is covered in ingredients and pans, everything being prepped to be put together for dinner, but all I can focus on is the grin my husband shoots at me, lips turning up on both sides of his mouth to tell me all I need to know.
He’s pleased that Leo has decided out of nowhere that I’m his mommy, and now I don’t have to tell him myself.
Of course, I’m still going to gush about it when the kids are out of earshot.
I’ll probably jump up and down and squeal like a freaking kid.
“I see that,” I reply, trying to remain casual. “Are you our chef for the evening?”
“Yep,” he agrees giddily. “I’m make all by myself but with Daddy.”
All by himself but with Daddy.
God, could he get any cuter?
“I’m sure it’s going to be amazing then. Would you like any help from me and Bastian?”
“No thank you, Mommy,” he replies politely before humming and changing his mind. “Bastian can set table.”
It sounds like he’s assigning his brother an unfavorable chore, but Bastian actually enjoys picking out the plates, silverware and cups for setting the table. He likes to make everything match, and make sure everyone has a clean place to eat when the food is ready.
“Well, we’re going to have a lovely meal at a lovely table then, aren’t we?”
“Sounds like we are,” Leon agrees, giving me a look that could have me throwing myself at him during a more appropriate time. “Your songs sounded beautiful today, tesoro.”
“I can’t take credit for that all on my own,” I tell him, blushing. “Our little Bastian is a prodigy. He’s brilliant, honestly.”
“That he is.”
Bastian only smiles shyly, going to set the table.
I hope this day is as happy for him as it is for me.