Chapter 45
Chapter Forty-Five
Katya
My first time leaving the house alone since moving in feels wrong.
I know the kids are perfectly safe at home with their dad, just having fallen asleep for their post-lunch naps.
But it’s not leaving Bastian and Leo alone that’s eating at me, it’s the white lie I told Leon to get him to stay behind.
I’ve never really fibbed to my husband before, and it feels icky even if it’s meant with no malicious intention.
Telling him that I just wanted to pick up a few girl things at the local shop wasn’t exactly a lie.
I’m out of the good chapstick I like, and I need a new tube of mascara.
Drugstore mascara is and has always been superior, and I’ve tried all of the high-end brands.
But leaving the house to get these things is technically completely unnecessary.
I could order them and have them delivered by tonight or tomorrow.
Hell, we could send a guard to pick them up and I could have them in under a half hour.
Which is exactly what Leon suggested when I first broached the subject.
I had to turn down his perfectly logical reasoning by saying that I hadn’t been out shopping even for one or two things since arriving and I thought it might be nice.
He didn’t even blink at my counter, not denying me the freedom of leaving the house.
I don’t think he wanted me to feel like he was attempting to keep me cooped up by suggesting I stay or he comes with me.
I know he doesn’t want me to think I’m shackled to the house, or to him.
And I swear, I don’t. This is just something I need to know for myself before I bring it up to him.
Still, going anywhere completely alone is not a smart or advisable activity for a mafia wife.
Which is how Leon and I ended up compromising with Gino escorting me to the little drugstore-like shop.
It’s not ideal, honestly. He insisted he wouldn’t be a bother and he’d give me as much space as safely possible, but both of us know that’s not much. I’m just hoping he’s willing to keep what he sees a secret for at least long enough for me to figure out if I’m right.
Blowing out a cold breath, I slip into the shop once Gino has decided it’s safe to go in.
He has two guards remaining outside, waiting to jump in at any moment if he needs backup, but he has to follow me directly.
It’s as comforting as it is unnerving. I would probably be terrified to actually dip into town without any sort of security, but they aren’t exactly subtle to have following you around.
If I didn’t grow up with it, I would be a lot more reluctant.
“Did you kick everyone out, or was there no one in here?” I ask, looking around the nearly empty space. The only people I can see are wearing work uniforms.
“I called ahead,” he replies with a grunt, not bothering to lie.
“Smart,” I mutter, cracking a small, forced smile.
He merely dips his head politely.
Making my way to the makeup with my big, scary shadow following, I try to prepare myself for the last item I need to grab. The one thing I actually truly needed tonight. The thing I couldn’t order without risking Leon seeing it before I’m ready.
Mascara picked out quickly, I find the chapstick section and browse for my preferred scent. Cinnamon with a hint of vanilla.
Straightening my shoulders, I head for the feminine health side of the store, strolling past boxes of tampons, condoms, and other assorted products covered in pink. Gino doesn’t make a sound as he lingers behind me, and I decide to put on my big girl panties and reach for what I need.
Grabbing two blue boxes, I finally look back at him and find his expression forcefully blank.
“I’m not hiding it from him,” I promise quietly. “I just want to make sure before I show him. I think I might be going crazy, and I’ll feel foolish if I get him excited over nothing.”
Gino blinks.
“You won’t…you won’t tell him, will you?” I bite my lip. “I’m going to take them as soon as we get back, and I’ll tell him no matter what the results are.”
“My wife didn’t want me to be with her for the tests either,” he finally replies, voice gruff. “Leon wouldn’t want me to tell him if you asked me not to. You’re not in danger, and you’re going to tell him yourself.”
Relief spreads through me slowly, warming me up from the chill of outside.
“Thank you, Gino. I-I’ve never had to do this before, and I just have a feeling that I want to do this part alone.
I think I might cry if I’m wrong, and I don’t know if I can handle crying in front of Leon while possibly disappointing him in the process. ”
“You don’t need to explain yourself,” Gino says, voice stern but soft. “Only women can know how complicated this must be, and your husband isn’t the kind of man who would begrudge you for needing to process whatever happens alone before you come to him.”
“He’s a good man,” I agree with a swallow.
Nodding, he confirms my words with a dip of his chin. “He is.”
“Okay.” I exhale and lift my chin. “Let’s check out and get out of here.”
“You don’t need to pay for those,” Gino tells me with a chuckle. “Just put them in your purse.”
Scandalized, I rock back on my heels in shock. “I will not be shoplifting today, thank you very much.”
The big man throws his head back, laughing deep and loud. “Sweetheart, you can’t shoplift from your own store.”
“My…” I trail off, eyebrows drawing in. “The Morettis own this place?”
“The Morettis own this whole town, Katya.”
“Oh.” I blink, looking around. “Maybe we should grab some candy then too.”
Laughing again, Gino claps his hands together. “Whatever you want, sweetheart. You’re the boss.”
That’s so weird. I shake my head. But kind of cool.
Shoving my items into my purse like I’m going to be caught if I don’t do it fast enough, I stroll by a display of sour gummy worms and grab a bag.
Opening them up like an impatient child, I pop one in my mouth and head for the exit.
I guess I own this place, so I might as well walk around like I do.
I feel a lot lighter on the drive home than I did on the way to the shop, feeling like I’ve found an unlikely ally with Gino.
He was thoughtful in his response to me, not promising to keep my secret, but assuring me he wouldn’t blab if I told my husband myself.
And I’m going to. As soon as I pee on these sticks and the results pop up, I’m going straight to Leon.
I’ve been nauseous for days, barely holding back throwing up more than once.
I could be coming down with something, or simply feeling under the weather because it’s getting colder and colder outside.
But feeling under the weather wouldn’t explain my period disappearing.
Lifestyle changes can affect your cycle, and that’s what I chalked it up to at first, but not that it’s pretty substantially missing, I think another reason might be more accurate.
Leon and I have been fucking like rabbits for almost two months now without protection, and if his father is anything to show for it, fertility is strong with his family.
I could have a little Moretti growing inside me as we speak, and frankly I need to know before I start to think about it too much.
There’s no sense in getting my hopes up, or even starting to stress about preparing for a newborn when I may not even be pregnant.
Some people take months and years to procreate even with nothing medically wrong with them. I know that. And yet, the feeling deep inside my gut says that something has changed.
Thankfully, Leon isn’t in the living room when we arrive back at the house, and I’m able to hurry up to my bedroom without making an excuse about needing to pee.
Not that that would be much of a lie either.
I’m definitely going to pee…just on two magic sticks that are going to tell me my freaking future.
A baby is something both of us want, something I’d cherish, but that doesn’t mean it will happen for us right away.
Shutting myself in my bathroom, I dump out my purse and open the boxes hastily.
I’m taking both of these tests at the same time, and I’m going to try not to bite my nails to bits as I wait for them to process.
They’re the fancy expensive kind that displays the words “pregnant” or “not pregnant” after two minutes’ time.
Two minutes sounds like a short time until you’re waiting for life-changing test results to come in in those one hundred and twenty seconds.
By the time I have both tests taken and resting on the bathroom counter, I’ve calmed myself down a fair bit.
I’ve been trying not to feel hopeful so I can’t be let down by the results if they’re negative, but I’m grateful for so much of my life that I can’t help but keep my spirits up.
Even if I’m not pregnant now, I could be soon.
Leon and I haven’t been using caution to prevent pregnancy but we haven’t been intentionally trying to make sure it happens either.
We haven’t been tracking ovulation, or lifting my legs up when we finish to help move things along.
I think if these tests let me down, I’m going to suggest that we do, though.
I’m so happy with him and the boys, so completely in love with our little family, that I can’t help but want to see it grow.
Looking down at my phone screen, three minutes have officially passed by, and I can’t wait a moment longer. Stepping closer to the counter again, I pick them up and flip them over, feeling my heart begin to race.
My breath catches as I peer down at the plastic devices, throat tightening up as I read.
“Leon,” I rasp to myself, rushing toward my door with the tests in hand.