Chapter 18
SLIP
“Valerie? Stop.” Sitting beside Maddy’s mom on the armrest of her recliner, I summoned a calm tone. “You’re okay.” If she was having a panic attack or a flare-up, I’d do everything necessary to help. But I didn’t believe that was the case. I was good at detecting bullshit...and Valerie was full of it.
“Shh,” Valerie snipped at me, then flicked a weak wave toward Maddy in the kitchen. “Hurry, angel.”
“Shit, Mom.” Maddy held the pill bottle open in her hands. “This is empty. Do you have more somewhere else?”
“Yes.” She turned her hand toward the hallway. “In my bedroom, on the nightstand, or in the bathroom cabinet.”
Maddy dashed around the counter and headed across the room. “Okay. I’ll get them.”
But the moment Maddy disappeared, Valerie wouldn’t look at me.
What was she playing at? Whatever it was, I wouldn’t fall for it.
“Valerie?” I resisted the urge to grab her chin and force her to face me. Instead, I folded my arms and spoke with a sharp edge. “You’re fine, aren’t you? You may’ve Maddy fooled, but not me. So drop the act.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She rubbed and patted her chest. “My lungs hurt. My joints ache. I have a woozy head. You don’t understand.”
“Yes. I do. Trust me. I know all about pain.” Sitting awkwardly on the armrest didn’t help my hip—not one bit. “But maybe you shouldn’t have gone to Santa Monica today. Or had so much to drink. If you’re genuinely sick and having a flare-up, we’ll give you your meds and keep an eye on you for ten minutes or so to make sure you’re okay. If you are, we’re going home. If not, we’ll take you to the hospital. So which one is it going to be?”
Her chin trembled as she stabbed her finger against the armrest. “ This is Maddy’s home.”
Shit. Was that it? She was upset Maddy and I weren’t staying? Fuuuuck! “Yes, but so is my house.”
“No. This is my time with Maddy.”
I clutched her hand in mine. “We had time planned with you this afternoon. But you messed that up. Not her. She has a busy weekend. While I’m on tour, I only get a few nights or days a month with her too. That will change when I get home.” I gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Valerie, I assure you, I’m not taking Maddy away from you. We will always make time for you and be around to take care of you. I promise you that. Maddy loves you very much, but she loves me too. And I love her with all my heart and soul.” I lowered my voice but hardened my gaze. “I know you’re sick, scared, frustrated, tired, and over being in pain...but please, don’t ever abuse that situation or take advantage of Maddy’s good heart. I’ve enough shit going on without adding you to the list.”
“You don’t know the first thing about me.” Valerie yanked her hand free from mine. “I need someone to take care of me.”
“Yes, but you don’t need full-time assistance. You’re not an invalid. You do just fine when Maddy is away. You have Bridget when needed.” I leaned toward her and sharpened my tone. “But whether you like it or not, Maddy is my wife, and we’re gonna spend the night at my place.”
Tears shimmered in her eyes. “What if I get worse?”
“We’re only fifteen minutes away.”
Her chin trembled. “She’s my daughter. She’s all I have.”
“No, she’s not.” I clasped her hand again. “You have me too. I’m family now. I will take care of you. But if you pull another bullshit stunt like this and keep playing these games, I will ensure Maddy finds out what you’re doing.” I’d tell her anyway. Valerie could hate me. But I wouldn’t lie to Maddy. “So from now on, stop abusing Maddy’s love for you.” I leaned toward her, unwavering in my stance. “Once you’ve had your meds, Maddy and I are going to leave, and you won’t make any more fuss. Are we clear?”
“How dare you talk to me like that?” she hissed.
“I will, because I love Maddy.” I stood, bent forward, and rested my hands on the recliner. “Now, is there anything I can get you?”
She fidgeted with her hair, not meeting my gaze. She wriggled her toes. Twisted the throw around in her hands. Then she closed her eyes and nodded. “Yes. I need a pain-killer. I walked too much today. They’re in the cupboard by the fridge.”
“Excellent.” I ambled into the kitchen, grabbed the pill bottle, and eyed the prescription label. Tramadol... hmph. Not strong enough for my liking anymore. I grabbed Valerie a water and returned to the sofa. As I handed her the pills and glass, I asked, “Do you need help with anything else?”
“No. I’m fine.” She swallowed one capsule with a mouthful of water.
“Funny that.”
She sneered and swallowed a second pill.
After Maddy came back and Valerie took her other meds, we stayed to make sure she was okay. Of course, she was fine. Once the food arrived, we took two of the dishes and headed to my place.
As I drove through the hills, Maddy remained quiet, seeming lost in her thoughts. My head thudded in overdrive. Fuck! I’d always suspected Valerie, but I hadn’t expected her to fake flare-ups and abuse Maddy’s trust. That was just plain cruel.
I didn’t want to upset Maddy further, but I cared about her too much to keep this a secret. I’d promised I’d always be honest with her. She needed to know what Valerie had done. Valerie could despise me for the rest of my days, but I couldn’t keep the truth from Maddy.
Was there a subtle way to say something without the conversation turning into a fight? Maddy loved her mom. I never wanted to cause a rift between them...or burn my relationship with Maddy. But honesty came first. That was why my friendship with the guys had survived for so long. We saw through each other’s bullshit and called it when necessary. Even though the truth hurt sometimes, it often opened our eyes and forced us to change. Be stronger when something or some drama erupted. We always had each other’s backs. And I’d do the same for Maddy. I just prayed we survived this storm.
“Mads, your mom’s going to be okay.” I stole a sideways glance at her. Too many concerns and worries clouded her eyes. “She was fine tonight.”
“Not really.” Maddy curled her hand around my thigh. “But thanks for helping. I really appreciate it. I’m sorry Mom’s a handful.”
“There is nothing we can’t handle together.”
“Mom’s getting worse, Slip.” Worry shook her voice. “What if something happens when I’m not around? Or I can’t get home in time?”
“Mads, I know she’s sick, but you can’t be with her every second of the day. You have a life too.”
She puffed out her breath. “Between Mom and work, I don’t have a life.”
“Yes, you do. You have me.” Keeping my eyes on the road, I wrung my hand around the steering wheel. “Just do me one thing...don’t be blindsided by your mom.”
“Blindsided?” She jerked her chin back. “I’m not. Mom’s been sick for a very long time.”
“I’m not arguing with that.” I pulled up at a red traffic light. “It’s just something I’ve noticed.” I softened my tone. “When did your mom start calling you to rush home from functions, or parties, or from hanging out with me to help her?”
The street lights painted a golden sheen over Maddy’s hair as she rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know. Twelve to eighteen months ago?”
“So, once we started seeing each other?”
“Yes, but her condition has gotten worse.”
“Yes, but does she call you for these emergencies or even have them when you’re away?”
Maddy stilled, pursed her lips, then shook her head. “No. No, she doesn’t.”
“Out of the dozen or so times you’ve rushed home to her, how many times has she had an actual flare-up? Or an emergency?”
“Um...” She winced, as if she were sifting through her memory bank. “None. Maybe one or two mild panic attacks.”
“Exactly.” I shrugged to highlight my point. “She’s your mom, and I know you’re worried about her. I am too. But she’s fine when you’re away. She doesn’t want you to give up your job, she won’t move to Vancouver, and she hates anyone intruding on her time with you when you’re in LA. She’s very protective of you and doesn’t like you spending more time with the guys, Sutton...and me. So...I’m convinced she’s faking some turns.”
“You’re wrong.” Maddy shook her head as tears welled in her eyes. “She wouldn’t do that.”
“I hope I am, Mads.” I smoothed my hand down the back of her hair and gave her neck a rub as a cement truck rumbled and thudded through the intersection. “I don’t want to upset you. But whichever way you look at today, she didn’t have a flare-up.”
“No.” Distress pitched her tone skyward. “But she missed a vital appointment. Went out drinking. Like...what the fuck?” She sniffled and wiped the tip of her nose with her fingertips. “Today was bullshit. I trust Bridget to care for Mom. I can’t be everywhere at once. I struggle to focus on us because I’m constantly worrying about my mother.”
“Hey? It’s okay.” The light turned green, and I drove off. “We’ll work everything out.”
“How? When?” A tear fell onto Maddy’s cheek, but she was quick to swipe it away. “Stolen hours and days here and there aren’t enough.”
“No, they’re not.” My heart ached as I gripped the steering wheel. I felt the same way, deep in my bones. There was never enough time with her. “But we’ll be together soon. I promise.”
She blinked the tears from her eyes and nodded. “I want that. More time with you.” She stared out the windshield toward the hills blanketed in evening light and sprawling homes tucked among the trees. “It’s still early. Can we go for a drive? To the beach? I just want to be outside, underneath the stars, away from everyone.”
“Yeah. I’d like that.” I turned onto my street. “Let’s eat, get changed, and then we’ll head out.”
After we had dinner—I ate, Maddy picked—I dashed upstairs to change. I threw on a pair of beach shorts and a clean T-shirt. In the bathroom, I sprayed on some deodorant and tossed the can back into my toiletry bag. But the light caught my orange bottle of pills. My hip and back weren’t too bad. The pain, tolerable. But if Maddy and I went walking along the sand, it’d ache like a bitch. I didn’t want that.
I glanced at my watch. 7:07 p.m. Taking my oxy a couple hours before I was supposed to wouldn’t hurt. I unscrewed the cap and popped one into my mouth. That would ward off the onslaught of agony.
But just as I swallowed the pill with a mouthful of water, Maddy appeared behind me and grabbed the bottle. Worry loomed in her eyes. “What are these?”
“Just my pain-killers.”
“You’re on oxy?” She stared at the label. “This is strong shit.”
“Yes. Temporarily until I can have surgery after the tour. Jade put me on them.”
Confusion rippled across her brow. “I thought you were seeing your doctor here for meds.”
Shit. “Um...yeah. I am. Jade’s had trouble filling my prescription overseas.” Fuck. Bile flooded my gut. I hated lying. I truly did. I’d been seeing my doctor here in LA to fill my other prescriptions. I was popping Drizodone between my twice-a-day oxycodone pills since I’d hurt my hip. But I was good. A few extra pills here and there...and a bit of coke...had kept the pain at bay. I had my meds and the drugs under control . Kind of. Maybe. No. Yes.
Yes! I fucking do.
“If you need to rest, we can just stay at home. I meant it before at Mom’s when I said I wanted an early night.”
I snaked my arms around her waist and drew her body against mine. “We could stay in, but I’d prefer to take you on a romantic stroll along the beach, watch the waves, get some fresh air, and maybe make love underneath the moonlight.” Yeah, I was a softy at heart. I flicked her hair back over her shoulder and kissed her forehead. “So for that plan to come to fruition, I’d like to not stop because I’m in pain. ”
“No. Me either.” She placed her hand on my chest and arched a sexy eyebrow. “Good thing your sore hip doesn’t hinder your performance in other areas.”
“Nope. Never.”
“Really?” Cute wrinkles formed across the bridge of her nose.
“Truth.” I kissed her sweet pink lips. “Shall we get going?”
“Yes.” But she smacked the bottle of pills against my chest. “But promise me you won’t get hooked on this shit. I already have to deal with one person addicted to meds—I don’t want to worry about you too.” Fear swallowed the light in her eyes. “Mom’s been on a plethora of daily anti-inflammatories and immunosuppressants to relieve her condition for years. But it’s the Xanax and prednisone and Tramadol she swallows like candy that have messed her up. Add in all the alcohol and it’s one fucked up cocktail. She can’t live without any of them. She won’t admit she has a problem. I don’t want you to end up like that.” Her shaky voice cut me deep. “I couldn’t handle it.”
She didn’t need to remind me. But still, her concern punched me low in the guts. “Mads.” I eased the bottle from her grasp before she shattered the plastic. “After the tour, I won’t have to take them. Please, don’t worry.”
I’d popped too many pills and dabbled with coke over the past couple of weeks. It was so hard not to take them when it stopped the agony for a few hours. But I didn’t want to end up like Phil. I had too much to live for. Maddy. My band. The tour. My family.
I tossed the bottle back into my toiletry bag. “Let’s go for that drive.”
She wrapped her arms around me and rested her chin against my shoulder. “When’s it going to get better, Slip? When is life going to be fun again? It feels like forever since we did something crazy and laughed and danced, and I felt alive. ”
“What? Like in Vegas?” I chuckled softly against her hair.
“Maybe not that crazy.” She smiled against my neck. “But yeah.”
“Then I hope you can come to Italy so we can spend a week together.”
“I hope so too.”
I rubbed her arms. “But I promise the rest of this weekend will be fun. We always have a good time when we’re together. It’s the time apart that sucks.”
“Maybe we should just stay with each other,” she murmured against my T-shirt. “Let’s pack a bag and drive east and not stop. Walk away from everything and start again somewhere new.”
My heartbeat synced with hers. “If that’s what you want, Maddy, I’d do that right now and follow you anywhere.”
Why did that sound more and more appealing by the day?
What would happen if we walked away?
Fuck . . .
Was I prepared to find out?