Chapter 24
SLIP
“Fuuuuck!” Cursing silently, I rolled onto my side and rubbed at the pain spearing my hip and shooting across my lower back. I blinked my eyes open, my vision adjusting to the dim light in my hotel room. But movement beside me stole my thoughts. I turned my head toward the other pillow. What a vision to wake up to.
Maddy lay naked next to me with the crisp white sheet draped over her waist. Her long hair fell in soft waves down to the center of her back. I rolled toward her, resting on my good hip, and spooned her from behind. My body curved to align perfectly with hers as I nudged my morning glory against her ass. Hmmm.
“Morning.” She cuddled my arm against her bare chest, letting me cup her boob.
“ Buongiorno, bella .” I rocked my hips toward her so she could feel how happy I was to see her. “Sleep well?”
“Very.”
Lucky her . I’d had another restless night. Like every night since the beginning of the tour. After the show and I’d come back to my suite with Maddy, I’d only taken my prescribed meds. No extra sleeping pills or pain-killers. I didn’t want to become reliant on them. I was walking a fine line, and I didn’t want to do that.
I hated lying to Flint and Maddy. I’d been popping more Drizodone between my oxy pills than I’d said I had. I’d hit a few lines of coke during the past month too. But I could cut back on the extra drugs, no...stop completely, now I had a week off to rest. Yep...easy...Fuck...yes. Yes, I could.
My reason for doing that was right here.
“It’s so good to have you beside me.” I traced the tip of my nose around the rim of her ear, breathing her in. The scent of her cocoa butter shampoo filled my head. Mmmm. So good.
“I love waking up next to you.” She wriggled her butt against me. My dick turned harder, aching for some action.
“We get to do this the whole week.” I slid my hand over her hip and down her leg, relishing the touch of her smooth skin beneath my fingertips. While I craved making love to her again, I was in pain, and we had to leave soon. “You ready for a big day? We have to get going.” Mom’s party was tonight.
Half-asleep, she turned her head toward me and pouted. “Do we have to?”
“Yeah.” I kissed her sweet lips. “You stay here. I’ll go take a quick shower.”
But as I rolled off the mattress, sharp pain shot through my sore hip, across my lower back, and down my groin.
“Shiiiit!” I groaned through clenched teeth so Maddy wouldn’t hear. I didn’t want her to worry.
This sucked. I hated being in constant agony. We had a four-hour drive from Milan to the villa we’d rented for our break on the outskirts of Florence. Sitting for long periods of time wasn’t good.
I staggered into the bathroom and jumped in the shower. After freshening up, I dried myself off, got dressed in a casual button-up T-shirt and shorts, and brushed my teeth. But as I rinsed my mouth, the pills inside my toiletry bag caught my eye. The pain in my hip throbbed. Twisted tighter. Dug deeper and deeper into my lower spine.
As I gripped the counter, my hands shook. Shit. That wasn’t good. That was new.
I closed my eyes and sucked in a deep breath. It was time for my oxy. I loved but hated how much better those pills made me feel. They stopped the pain. That was alluring. Taunting. Enticing... addictive . I didn’t want to be in agony. Not while Maddy was here.
Just take the one. No . . . two for the drive . . . Fuck! Yep . . . I need it today.
I grabbed the bottle, popped open the lid, placed two oxy on my tongue, and washed them down with a glass of water. I drew my shoulders back and inhaled deeply. That would get me through the long trip ahead.
But just before I closed the bottle, I peered inside to see how many pills I had left. Four. Fuck. That would last me two days. I had Drizodone, but they weren’t as strong. A wave of anxiety crashed through my chest. A hot flush swept over my skin. I needed these pills. Shit.
I clasped the bottle in one hand and pounded my other palm against my forehead. You fucker. What are you doing? Don’t be stupid. Keep your crap under control. Images of Phil, high as a kite, full of energy and laughs and stupidity, flickered behind my eyelids. I wouldn’t end up like him. I wouldn’t. I’d stop taking these meds once I got my hip fixed after the tour. We didn’t have long to go. Two and a half months. I’d be fine. But I texted Jade to get me more oxycodone before we headed off...and suggested a stronger dosage as these didn’t last the whole day.
Once Maddy was ready and we had a quick bite to eat, we met everyone in the lobby just after eleven o’clock. Maddy gripped my hand tighter as Harper joined our group, carrying Charlotte.
“Morning, everyone.” Too much cheer flitted through Harper’s tone as she greeted us. She threw me a mischievous smile, then a thin-lipped one at Maddy. I sneered back. I’d avoided Harper most of the time. That wasn’t about to change.
I drew Maddy against my side and kissed her temple. “Let’s go.”
She didn’t hesitate to follow.
Most of our road crew and entourage had headed home for our seven-day break to catch up with family and friends or had gone on to Austria—our next stop on the tour. Jade had quickly caught up with me to refresh my meds before driving to the airport. Thank God. Now, with a stronger dosage in hand, I’d survive the week.
The guys, our partners, and security were traveling south to the Tuscan countryside. We’d hired sports cars for the drive. Three black convertible McLaren Spiders sat parked in the hotel driveway for Flint, Lewis, and me, and our girls. A Mercedes SUV was ready for Cole, Ava, Harper and the kids. Wicked motorbikes stood side by side for Beckett and Wyatt to ride. Sloane and Riley piled into a minivan that had to tow a trailer loaded with all our luggage.
I let Maddy drive our Spider.
With my oxy kicking in, and my head slightly buzzing, I didn’t want to be behind the wheel. I didn’t have a death wish.
With the tops down on the convertibles, we headed out of Milan in convoy and drove along a highway through the vibrant countryside. We passed farms, old villages, colorful towns, and rolling hills. Exhaustion from our shows, lack of sleep, relief from the pain-killers, and the high from being with Maddy coursed through my body. Behind my sunglasses, I closed my eyes. I pulled down my baseball cap over my forehead, rested my head back against the plush leather seat and floated, zoning out on oxy. Pain-free. No agony throbbed in my hip or twisted across my lower back or dug into my knee. Damn, these drugs are good!
“Hey?” Maddy touched my arm. “You alright? Are you car sick?”
“No.” I straightened and lazily rubbed her hand. “I’m just enjoying the drive, being outside in the sunshine and being here with you”—I grinned and glanced over my shoulder. Beckett followed us on his motorbike. Security was never far behind—“and with Becks...and everyone else.”
Maddy laughed, low and sweet. God, I loved that sound. She pushed her oversized Prada sunglasses up higher on her nose. Her eyes fixed on the road ahead. “I can’t wait to see this villa Ava found us to stay in. The photos online looked amazing.”
“They did.” Cole would’ve had a hand in helping Ava find something five-star. He liked the finer things in life. This place would be worth the small fortune we were paying for the luxurious private escape. I’d be happy to stay anywhere that didn’t have screaming fans or paparazzi loitering outside the front door with camera lenses pointed in my direction. For me, that was a win. “It’s only a couple miles from Uncle Rocco’s place. But I’m just looking forward to spending time with you.” I kissed her hand before she returned it to the steering wheel.
“Me too.”
“Are you ready to meet my family this evening?” Am I ready to face them again? I hadn’t seen them in months. I prayed everyone stayed focused on Mom and not me and my wife.
Likelihood of that happening? . . . Zero.
Maddy gave me a sideways glance. “I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m nervous.”
“They’ll love you. ”
“Even though I led you astray into a Vegas wedding?” she teased, but a thread of worry was sewn into her tone.
“Hey! Who led who astray?” I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. “Pretty sure, that was my doing.”
“Hmm. If I recall correctly, it started with too much champagne. That was thanks to me.”
“Doesn’t matter. I loved marrying you. It was a night I’ll never regret or forget. Vegas was perfect.”
“Yeah, it was. I’m glad we didn’t have a big wedding.”
“Same.” I had a deeper understanding of why she’d never wanted an extravagant day, after learning about Noah.
She nodded, then gnawed on her lip as she sped down the highway. “But maybe when you get home after the tour, we should have a party to celebrate. Something small. Just with a few close friends and family.”
“Wait.” Lightness filled my chest as I swiveled in my seat. “Do you mean that? Does that mean you want to drop this trial period bullshit and are gonna be mine forever?”
“Don’t jump to conclusions.” Giggling, she drew a flyaway hair off her face that had caught on her mouth and tucked it behind her ear. “But maybe if the next few months work out...yeah, I’d like that.”
“Oh, we’ll work.” I leaned over the center console and kissed her cheek. “We’re meant to be together. It’s time you admitted that.”
Laughing, she placed her hand over my face and pushed me away. “Let’s see how meeting your family goes.”
I straightened my sunglasses, then rested my arm across the back of her seat. “What happened to unconditional love?”
“Slip, we have a lot of conditions to work out.” She threw me a wry smile. “We can’t delay talking about our future forever. I need to be more certain and comfortable about the life we can build together.” With her eyes on the road, seriousness mellowed her tone. “I want some kind of normalcy first—to feel like we’re married, and to live together. To be confident in believing we can survive beyond the steamy hookups we’ve had up to this point. I want to go grocery shopping with you, do laundry, learn to cook, pay bills, and discuss our finances and investments. We’ve never done any of those things. Is that okay?”
My stomach cinched, yanking my belly button toward my backbone. Shit. She was right. I’d just assumed we’d evolve into doing those things. I hadn’t expected those elements to be key factors in determining whether or not we’d stay together. But I guessed they were. I just jumped into things headfirst and worried about the consequences later. Maddy wanted to slide into them steadily.
“It absolutely is.” I leaned over and kissed her shoulder. “I’m sorry we haven’t had those conversations yet, but we will. I look forward to learning more about you and loving you more each day, Mads. You can ask me anything at any time. I’ll always be honest and open.” Those things she’d listed were easy subjects to discuss. But other truths? What if she pushed me to tell her how many pain-killers I was really popping? Or asked if I was taking anything else?
Shit. I swallowed the dry lump in my throat. Wiped my clammy palms on my shorts. I’d hated lying. But I didn’t want her to stress or worry. I just needed to get through the next couple of months, and everything would be fine.
“Thank you. I will too.” She patted and rubbed my thigh. “I do love you, Slip. We just jumped into this blind with no foundation underneath us. No net to catch us.”
“I’ve got you, Mads. Always.”
“Same.”
Just after three, everyone pulled into a gravel driveway lined with tall pencil pines. Lush green vineyards covered the rolling hills before us, and blue sky stretched for as far as the eye could see. We drew to a halt outside a huge two-story stone villa covered in green vines. Several other stone buildings and work sheds stood nearby. Everything looked newly renovated and restored compared to the other old homes we’d passed in the area.
“Wow. This place is gorgeous.” Maddy scanned the main villa as we hopped out of the car and walked around to stand in front of it. I snaked my arm around her waist and stretched my sore hip. Better.
The others ambled over from their vehicles and gathered beside us outside the villa.
Maddy leaned forward, peering around Cole. “Thank you, Ava.”
“You’re welcome.” Ava bobbed her head and tucked her hands into her short pockets. “This part of working for the guys, booking travel and places to stay, has been fun.”
“I’ll make sure I thank her later.” Cole smothered Ava in sloppy cheek kisses until she laughed, until he went too far, and she put him in a headlock. Her ex-bodyguard skills outplayed Cole’s moves every time.
Chuckling, I shook my head. I was convinced Cole liked a bit of rough and tumble, and Ava liked to give it to him.
“Daddy, can we go swimming?” Charlotte, clinging onto Harper’s hand, pointed toward the huge pool shimmering in the sunlight toward the rear of the villa.
“Soon, sweetie.” Cole tickled Ava’s side and broke free of Ava’s clutches. “Once we check into our rooms.”
The front door opened and a tall man with a dark gray beard, bushy eyebrows, and a warm smile scuttled down the stairs toward us. He held his arms wide. “ Ciao, benvenuti a tutti. Hello, welcome everyone to Villa Chianti. I am Leonardo, your host. ”
“Hey. I’m Flint.” Flint stepped forward and shook Leonardo’s hand. “And this is my girlfriend, Sutton.”
“ Ciao, Bella signora .” He kissed her hand.
After Flint introduced everyone—the band, our partners, our security, Harper and the kids—Leonardo clapped his hands. “It is wonderful to meet you. Please. Come in out of the heat. Refreshments await you inside.”
“Thank you.” Tia dragged Lewis by the hand, and everyone followed Leonardo up the three stone steps into the immaculate villa.
The temperature dropped ten degrees the moment we entered the stone structure. The aroma of baked bread filled the air, making my stomach rumble.
“Please. Gather ’round,” Leonardo handed everyone a homemade lemonade. “I look forward to having you stay with us. Our villa was built in the late 1700s. This farmland has been in my family for more than two hundred years, and we produce some of Italy’s finest chianti. There are nine bedrooms in this building and four in the guesthouse across the courtyard, which I understand your security team are staying in. Correct?”
“Yes.” Beckett nodded. “I’d be happy to sleep on a sofa as long as it’s not a bus.”
I had to agree.
“No sofas required. We have plenty of rooms.” Leonardo bowed. “For your stay, Chef Bene will prepare your meals and tend to any requests you may have. Tomorrow, I will take you on a tour of the vineyard and cellars, and be honored for you to sample some of our produce on the terrace by the pool at sunset. I understand you have a party to go to this evening. Is that correct?”
“Yes.” I swiped my hand over my stubble. I really needed to shave. “It’s at a vineyard near here.”
“Oh.” Leonardo’s eyebrows shot skyward. “Which one? ”
“At Villa Agosti. My Uncle Rocco owns it.”
“Oh my goodness,” Leonardo bellowed as he threw up his hands. “Rocco and Maria are good friends of mine. I didn’t know you were related. We caught up with them yesterday in preparation for the gathering tonight. I’m now extra honored to have you stay.” He bowed again. “Please understand we fully respect your group’s privacy. We’ve had other high-profile people grace our home before. We have two security guards on duty for the duration of your stay, so your team can enjoy their break. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. Now, let me show you to your rooms.”
Leonardo waved toward the wooden staircase, and we followed him up the steps. Ava had already allocated us our beds based off the photos online. Easy. I wasn’t one to complain or kick up a fuss.
“Wow.” Maddy turned in a circle as we walked into our enormous master suite with exposed stone walls, a long gas fireplace, dark wooden furniture, and a king bed covered in beige linen. She opened the double doors and stepped onto the balcony that overlooked the manicured vineyards. As she turned her face toward the sun, she inhaled the fresh country air. “I could live somewhere like this.”
From behind, I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my chin on her shoulder. “Italy? A vineyard? Or the country?”
“Somewhere quiet. Green. Out of the city. But I do like my view of the water in Vancouver.”
“Yeah. That is nice.” I’d only been to her condo in Vancouver a few times. The view from her place was gorgeous. The one of her, even better. “We could buy something like this too. We could get a place out of the city for the times we’re both not working. Have our own little piece of paradise.”
She curled her hands around my forearms, running her fingernails through my arm hair. Mmmm. I loved her touch. “I’m not sure we’d spend a lot of time there.”
“We’d make time.” I kissed the rim of her shoulder. “So where? The States? Canada? Here? Australia?”
“Australia?” She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “God no. That’s too far to travel.”
“I agree.” Yep, thirteen-plus hours flying in any direction was too far. I’d endured too many long-haul flights in my time. I’d happily avoid them if I could. “So where?”
She rested her head against mine and sighed. “An island. Near Vancouver. It’s so beautiful along the coastline.”
“Let’s do it.”
She puffed air through her nose and shook her head. “We have to stop daydreaming. We have too many other things to sort out before buying a house together. And the reality is...you need to be in LA, and I have to be in Vancouver.”
Living away from the guys would be hard. We’d barely spent any time apart since we were nine. I wasn’t sure I could handle not being around them.
Wait . . .
Could I?
I’d always said I’d do anything for Maddy. So how serious was I? Could I walk away from the band to be with her? Was I prepared to break the endless loop of only seeing her for a few days or a couple of weeks at a time?
Fuck .
My heart stumbled against my ribs. My head ached. But what hit even harder was the fact that ‘ yes’ flared in the back of my mind.
I softened my tone. “Things can change, Mads.”
“They certainly can.” She turned and flattened her hands against her stomach. “But let’s talk later. Right now, I’m freaking out over meeting your family. ”
I swept my hand over her silky hair and kissed her forehead. “You’ll be fine. They’ll be loud and over-the-top. They’ll be judgmental and grumpy that they weren’t at our wedding. But once the shit dies down, and they get to know you, they’ll love you like I do.”
Was I kidding myself?
Probably.
My family’s meeting with Maddy could go either way.
Tonight was going to be a shit show or sensational.
There was only one way to find out.
“Let’s get this fucking party over and done with.”