23. Ember
CHAPTER 23
EMBER
RED VELVET – JUTES & ARI ABDUL
“Absolutely not!”
His fist thumping down on the dining table, Hyland’s menacing expression would melt the skin from my bones if I gave a shit. Perhaps he should try it on someone who’s actually intimidated by his crap.
While his hot and cold behaviour does make him a pain in the ass to be around, I’m not going to cater to his stupid, protective demands. I didn’t before, and I won’t start now.
“I don’t recall asking for permission,” I reply curtly.
“You’ve been home from the hospital for less than twenty-four hours.”
“So?”
“Already you’re planning to throw yourself in the deep end with that lunatic!”
His yelling is really not appreciated by my still-fragile brain. While I slept well, I’m still feeling sore and worn out. The pain medication I’ve been prescribed is helping my chronic headaches, though.
“Blaine is refusing to speak to anyone but me,” I try to reason with him. “What choice do I have?”
“She isn’t throwing herself anywhere,” Axel pipes up from the kitchen. “We will be there. She’ll be supervised and perfectly safe.”
“There’s no such thing as perfectly safe around Blaine Madden!” Hyland blusters.
Rolling my eyes, I accept the steaming coffee Axel delivers to me. His bruised face morphs into a smile at the appreciative look I gift him. At least someone has forgiven me.
“That one’s on the house, babe.”
“You’re too kind,” I tease back.
“Consider it a gift in lieu of grapes.”
“Grapes?”
“That’s what you bring sick people, right?” His dark brows pull tight in obvious confusion. “Grapes?”
“Pretty sure that’s what you take your grandma when she’s in the hospital after breaking a hip, but sure. I’ll accept it.”
“Thanks, dimples.” He flourishes a boyish grin. “You can stay a while.”
“I already live here?” I sputter out a laugh.
“Well, obviously. I don’t pull out my impressive coffee making skills for just anyone.”
Flirtatiously winking at me, Axel disappears back into the kitchen to continue organising my morning medication. He declared it his top priority after coaxing me out of bed to eat and rehydrate.
“Um, hello?” Hyland gawks at me like I’ve lost my mind.
Taking a sip of coffee, I glare at him. “I’m listening.”
“Clearly, you’re not. This is a terrible idea!”
“Give it up, Hy. You’re not changing my mind.”
“I shouldn’t have to!” He pulls at his sandy tresses. “You’ve just been diagnosed with epilepsy, Ember.
“I’m aware of that.”
“You’re supposed to be resting and avoiding stress!”
Again, the giant dick thumps his fist on the table like some kind of bat-shit dictator. I’m going to thump my fist directly into his face in approximately three seconds.
“I still have a job to do regardless of what happened. We need Blaine to talk. If I can make that happen, then I will.”
“You’re so infuriating!” He moves to press the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Like… fuck!”
His chair thrusts backwards with a screech before Hyland draws to his full, intimidating height. He’s been in this foul mood since driving us home from the hospital, stopping to deposit Tom enroute.
The pair of them were united in their collective anger towards me while Warner seems to be taking on the role of peacekeeper. Though he still hasn’t risen this morning, so I’m dealing with the grump solo.
“You have succeeded in making it impossible to protect you.” He casts me an annoyed glower. “Congratulations.”
With that blow levied, Hyland storms towards the hallway then disappears with an aggressively slammed door. Groaning to myself, I lower my forehead to the dining table.
“He is insufferable sometimes.”
“Only sometimes?” Axel jokes.
“What I meant to say was more than ever lately.”
Axel’s palm slides over the back of my neck to deliver a squeeze. “You scared the life out of him, Em. The man’s in a tailspin.”
Lifting my head, I find Axel leaning over me with an outstretched hand. A cluster of white and yellow pills rest in the centre, plucked from the array of prescription bottles I was sent home with.
“It’s not like I intended to hurt him.” I wearily accept the handful of pills.
“None of us ever do.” Axel shrugs, taking a seat beside me. “Hyland hurts his own damn feelings by making the entire world his problem. He’ll get over it.”
“I’ve really fucked things up, haven’t I?”
“Hey, join the club. It’s nice to have a fellow fuck up on board.”
“Great. So glad to be here.”
“I’ll get you a membership t-shirt.”
“Thanks.” I knock back my morning medication with a deep gulp of coffee. “Hell. You make a good cuppa.”
I’m sure Hyland would disapprove of this too, but thankfully, Axel doesn’t question my choice of beverage. I still need caffeine even while recovering.
Grinning while he leans back in his chair, Axel straightens his bright-yellow, sixties-style tee. The lurid colour even features groovy flowers and butterflies with bubble writing.
“ Life’s too short to wear boring clothes ?”
“I always speak my truth,” he says solemnly.
“I’m almost positive that’s a woman’s shirt.”
“Dude, vintage gear is gender neutral.”
“It has butterflies on it.”
“I like butterflies!” Axel juts out his bottom lip.
“Hey, no judgement here.”
Swigging more coffee, I focus on steadying my hands. The tremors are still obvious. I can feel Axel watching me closely for any tiny signs of another seizure.
“Did the specialist say how long it’ll take for the medication to work?”
“It’s not a simple fix.” I sigh while studying my coffee mug. “We have to try different types of medication to see what reduces the frequency of the seizures.”
“Well, shit.”
“Yep. I’ll have to go for regular check-ups for the next few months and see what happens. I can’t just take a pill and be normal again.”
“Well, that would be boring.”
“I wouldn’t mind a bit of boring right about now.”
Nudging my foot beneath the table, Axel encourages me to look at him. “Normal is far overrated, babe. You’re perfect just the way you are.”
“Dirty hair, pyjamas and unbrushed teeth?”
“Oh, yeah.” He pretends to wipe drool from his mouth. “That’s my kink.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Especially the unbrushed teeth. Oof, so hot.”
Kicking his foot away from me, I burst into laughter. It lightens the pressure that’s sat on my chest since I saw Hyland and Tom’s matching anxious expressions in the hospital.
“I don’t know about taking my medication—I think you need to take yours.”
“Nah, I’m also perfect the way I am.” Axel blows a kiss at me. “We’re a match made in heaven.”
Pretending to bat the kiss away, I decide to get showered and dressed before Hyland decides to literally restrain me in the apartment. I need to get to HQ to see what the hell Blaine wants from me.
“I have to get washed up.”
“Need a hand with that?” he innocently purrs.
“Dream on.”
“Spoilsport. At least think of me in the shower.” His eyes trail over me, leaving a heated path. “Or think of how it felt when I played with your sweet pussy.”
“Ax!”
“Care for a replay?”
Cheeks flaming, I quickly escape the room. The sound of his raucous laughter follows me across the living area and into the penthouse’s hallway. He really is incorrigible in all the worst ways.
“Shit!”
A loud bang follows the cuss, coming from Warner’s bedroom. A wheelchair holds the door ajar, wedged into the entrance at an awkward angle.
“Oh. Hi.”
His head jerks up, embarrassment flushing over him. “Hey, Em.”
“Haven’t seen you use the chair in a few years. You okay?”
The sight of him sitting in the wheelchair is a surprise. He’s dressed in shorts that expose the pink stump of his residual limb, the lack of prosthetic catching me off guard for a second.
For a while after his accident, Warner could only get around by using the wheelchair. Then he progressed to using two crutches before beginning to experiment with prosthetics.
“Just having a bit of trouble.” He plays it off like there isn’t sweat coating his forehead. “I’m good.”
“Are you in pain? Can I do anything?”
Waving me off, Warner avoids looking at me. “Just sore today. Took a few hits during the raid.”
“How bad is it?” I wince.
“Nah, not bad. I’m just swollen so I can’t get the leg on.”
Concern morphs into guilt that forces me into action. I don’t care if it’s going to be awkward after the charged moment we shared. He’s in pain and needs my help.
Squeezing past him, I hold the door open with my hip then take control of the handles behind the wheelchair’s back.
“Kitchen?”
“You don’t have to help,” he mutters.
“Pretty hypocritical for a man always lecturing me about accepting help. Tell me where you want to go, and shut the hell up.”
His head lowering, Warner repositions his hips in the chair. “The kitchen is fine.”
“Coming right up.”
Rolling him down the hallway towards the kitchen, I realise how thoughtfully designed their penthouse is. The halls are wide and accessible, and the level floor is easy to navigate.
Even their stylishly sunken living area features a sloped section on the left that leads down. I didn’t put two and two together before. It’s been done for Warner’s more immobile days.
“Hey! Nurse Slaughter!” I holler loudly.
“Yes?” Axel calls back.
“Got a new patient for you to play with.”
Head perking up, he stands from where I left him pouting at the deserted dining table. “Oh, goody.”
“Please no,” Warner whimpers in what sounds like genuine fear. “Don’t leave me here, Em.”
“He’s going to look after you.”
“Please! I can’t run away from him right now.”
“That’s good. Let him play nurse for a bit.”
Slapping his hands together when I park Warner up at the edge of the kitchen, Axel appraises his state of casual undress.
“Food first, I think.” He frowns in concentration. “You look a bit peaky, boss. How about a peanut butter sandwich?”
“You know I hate peanut butter, Ax!”
“Aw, shit. But I really fancied one.”
“You don’t need to cook for me.”
“But I do!” Axel declares. “How about a chip sandwich instead? They don’t look appetising, but they sure do taste good.”
Glaring at me with panic overflowing in his eyes, Warner silently pleads for me to rescue him from Axel’s lack of cooking capabilities. I stoop down to press a kiss against his freshly shaven cheek.
“Have fun.”
“You’re so dead, Em!”
“And you’re so welcome!” I shout while walking away. “Happy cooking, boys.”
Leaving them to bicker about sandwiches, I shower and dress as quickly as my tender body will allow. My knuckles sting when I lightly apply cream to the abrasions gained from pummelling Miguel.
It felt good to unleash some of my rage on him, but it wasn’t enough. Knowing that someone else had the pleasure of ending Diego’s life infuriates me. Thankfully, Luis is still alive to face me.
For now.
Pulling on plain black jeans and a basic t-shirt that clings to my toned arms, I work on braiding my wet hair. With Warner out of action and Axel on nursing duty, I’ll have to ask the grump to drive me now that I’m barred.
After putting it off for as long as possible, I head next door to Hyland’s bedroom. The door falls open when I lightly knock, revealing a dark interior.
“Hyland?”
Bathed in tonal shades of blue, his bedroom is a calm paradise of dark-stained wood and luxuriously thick, black curtains. Beyond his truly gigantic sleigh bed, he has a modest sized wardrobe, built-in desk and several floating shelves.
With his back to me, Hyland sits at the desk, bent over something. His headful of loose blonde hair shoots up at my voice, alarm scored across his bearded face.
“I need a ride,” I announce.
“I’m busy.”
Snapping the book clasped in his hands shut, Hyland rises to face me. He keeps the book tucked behind his back, triggering my curiosity.
“What are you doing?”
“Researching a new career,” he snarls.
Strolling into his safe space, I let my fingers trail over the inky-blue linen sheets on his bed. You could easily fit three average-sized people in that monster.
“Come on,” I goad him. “You’d never leave the team.”
“I don’t like people lying to me.”
“Lying is such a strong word.”
“What would you call it?” His jaw visibly tics.
Nearing him, I tilt my neck to drink in his ruggedness. Even when he’s driving me up the wall with his possessive ways, it’s impossible not to appreciate his marble-carved looks.
“Um, temporarily withholding the truth?”
“You’re turning into Axel with that self-deluding crap.”
Resting a hand on his bicep, I adopt a more serious tone. “I really am sorry. What I did was wrong. I had my reasons, but that doesn’t make it right.”
“You should’ve trusted us!”
“You’re right.”
Overcome with a rush of guilt, I resolve to confide in him. For all his quirks, Hyland cares deeply. I know I’ve hurt him, and I hate the thought that I’ve caused him pain.
“I didn’t trust you,” I admit. “Or anyone else, for that matter. I had to keep this secret to avoid being discarded like faulty goods. Only that would’ve entailed my execution or worse.”
“We’re not Gael, Ember.”
“I know you’re not, but after all these years… the lie was ingrained in me. And I was scared. Far too scared to even admit to the symptoms I’ve had.”
“So you suffered in silence,” he surmises.
“Can you really blame me?”
Stumped by my question, Hyland huffs in irritation. His wide shoulders slump under the weight of his defeat settling into each honed muscle.
“I suppose not.”
“Then try having a bit of empathy for why I felt the need to lie,” I reply calmly. “I didn’t do it to be malicious or to hurt anyone.”
“You’re safe here, Em. You could’ve told us.”
“I know that now.”
“Do you?” he demands.
“Yes. I do.”
Fingers itching with the urge to stroke the golden spun silk that smothers his jawline, I internally celebrate when he tugs me into his chest. A massive hand finds my lower back to pin me against him.
“You’re such a stubborn creature.” His chin drops on top of my head. “Do you have any clue how fucking terrified I was to find you passed out like that? In his goddamn arms?”
“I’m sorry, Hy.”
“Stop apologising. Just promise me you won’t take such a dumb risk again.”
“I won’t. It was foolish.”
“I’m not stupid enough to think I can keep you locked up here. But you need to be smart in this job.”
My cheek nuzzles his t-shirt. “I’ll be careful from now on. I don’t want to put anyone in danger.”
“That means telling us if you feel a seizure coming on,” he rumbles above me. “Even the slightest fucking twitch, Em. A tiny headache. A dizzy spell. Anything. You’ll come to me.”
“Is that an order?” I snort.
“You bet your ass it is.”
“So much for making up. I thought you’d cut the overbearing crap.”
“Believe me, red. I can be far more overbearing than this.”
“Promises, promises.”
Planting a kiss on top of my head, he withdraws before I can read too much into it. As Hyland reaches for his usual army boots to begin lacing them at the foot of his bed, I spot the book he’s discarded.
“What’s this?”
“Wait!” he calls out.
Picking up the glossy self-help book, I turn it over in my hands. The title makes me choke on a surprised laugh.
“Living with Epilepsy?”
Glancing at Hyland, his entire focus is back on lacing his shoes. If I didn’t know better, I’d think a pink flush has taken over his tanned skin.
Oh, fuck.
I actually think he’s blushing.
“Did you buy a self-help book on epilepsy?”
Boots now in place, Hyland rises to march over to me. “Give it to me.”
“Well?” I prompt when he snatches the book from my hands.
“No.”
“Clearly, you did. How’d you get it so fast?”
“Overnight delivery,” he grumpily replies.
Tossing the book on his neatly made bed, he waves his hand, gesturing for me to get the hell out of his room. I don’t know whether to create an even bigger mess for myself by kissing the fool or scurry away.
“You’re researching my condition?”
“Leave it, Em.”
“No. Tell me why.”
Hyland palms the back of his neck. “I want to know what to do when it happens again. I need to be able to look after you.”
“But… You were mad at me.”
“So? You think that stopped me from caring?”
Mouth snapping shut, I merely shrug.
“You should know by now, Em. No matter how pissed off I am, I’ll never stop caring for a second.”
With that, he briefly grazes his fingertips along my cheek then departs the bedroom. I’m left to pick my jaw up off the floor and follow the most confusing man to have ever walked the earth.
A man who overnights self-help books even when he’s giving me the silent treatment. I must have some kind of internal brain damage for thinking that’s undeniably cute.