CHAPTER NINE JAX #2
Elias is quiet for a moment. "Go on."
"I've been watching people through cameras for two years.
Monitoring threats, documenting patterns, keeping everyone safe from a distance.
It's effective. It's also empty." I finish my scotch, welcoming the burn.
"Then I spent two weeks watching Lana pretend for people who don't deserve the effort.
Watching her count rotations and steps and the cost of every decision.
Watching her live in an apartment she hasn't unpacked because she's still deciding whether surviving her husband was worth the guilt of how he died. "
"And you saw yourself in that."
"I saw someone who understands that distance is just another word for survival.
That performance is how you get through days when existence feels like endurance.
" I set down my glass. "She made me want to step out from behind the cameras.
To be present instead of observing. That's terrifying and necessary in equal measure. "
Elias studies me with an expression I can't quite read. Then: "You're in love with her."
"I barely know her."
"You know enough to have memorized her patterns.
To have installed surveillance in her home and called it protection.
To be sitting here defending obsession as investment.
" He stands again, this time moving to the bookshelf where he keeps tactical manuals next to philosophy.
"Love doesn't require time, Jax. It just requires recognition.
You recognized something in her that mirrors what you've been running from in yourself. "
The observation is too accurate to refute. "Does recognition make it wrong?"
"Recognition makes it dangerous. For both of you.
" He pulls a book from the shelf—not reading it, just needing something to do with his hands.
"When I met Mara, she was fleeing her own version of Gabriel Pope.
Abusive relationship, control disguised as care, surveillance framed as love.
I thought I was different. Thought I was protecting her instead of possessing her. "
"You were different. You gave her agency."
"Eventually. After two years of making the same mistakes you're making now." He replaces the book. "I watched her obsessively. Tracked her movements. I told myself it was for her safety. And Mara—she accepted it because she'd been trained to believe being watched was the price of being loved."
The parallel to Lana is uncomfortable. Gabriel trained her to accept surveillance. I'm offering surveillance disguised as protection. The methodology is different, but the outcome might be the same.
"What changed?" I ask. "How did you stop?"
"I didn't stop. I just became honest about what I was doing.
" Elias returns to his chair. "Stopped calling it protection and started calling it what it was—I loved her, and loving her meant wanting to know where she was, what she was doing, that she was safe.
Once I admitted that, we could negotiate what healthy surveillance looked like versus what was just my need to control. "
"And what does healthy surveillance look like?"
"Boundaries that she sets, not boundaries I impose. She decides when the cameras are on, when they're off. She has access to everything I see. And most importantly—I had to give someone else veto power. Someone who could tell me when I was crossing lines I couldn't see anymore."
The parallel to my arrangement with Lana is striking. We negotiated the same boundaries. I gave her admin access, agreed to Elias having veto power over my protection.
"I did that," I say. "Lana has full control over the surveillance. And I told her to tell you if I ever make her feel controlled instead of protected."
Elias's expression shifts to something like approval. "You gave me veto power over your protection of her?"
"You're the only person who'll see patterns I'm too close to recognize. Who'll tell me when I've crossed from protection into possession." I meet his eyes. "I need someone to stop me if I become what I'm claiming to protect her from."
He's quiet for a long moment. Then: "That's the smartest thing you've said all night. And it's also the most terrifying."
"Why terrifying?"
"Because it means you're self-aware enough to know you're in danger of becoming Gabriel.
And self-awareness doesn't prevent obsession—it just makes you more sophisticated about justifying it.
" He refills both our glasses even though I haven't asked.
"So here's what's going to happen. You're going to continue protecting Lana.
You're going to be honest with her about your attraction instead of hiding behind professional obligation.
And you're going to check in with me weekly—not only her, me too—and report on whether the boundaries are holding or whether you're finding creative ways to cross them. "
"You want me to report on myself."
"I want you to have external accountability that isn't dependent on someone who's as emotionally invested as you are.
" He hands me the refilled glass. "Lana can tell you when you're crossing her boundaries.
I'll tell you when you're crossing yours.
Between the two of us, maybe we can keep you from repeating my mistakes. "
The arrangement is more supervision than I expected. Also more generous than I deserve given what I've already admitted.
"Why are you helping me?" I ask. "You could just tell Lucien to pull me from the assignment. Recommend someone less compromised."
"Because you're already the best protection she has.
You know the threats, you've built infrastructure, you're invested in ways that make you hyper-vigilant.
" He sips his scotch. "The problem isn't your competence.
It's your motivation. But motivation can be managed if you're willing to be honest about it. "
"And if I can't manage it? If the obsession wins?"
"Then I pull you myself. Before you hurt her, before you become what she's running from, before the protection becomes another cage.
" His voice is firm. "That's the deal, Jax.
Radical honesty in exchange for permission to continue.
You lie to me about what you're feeling, I remove you from her protection immediately. "
The terms are clear. Fair, even. And terrifying in their requirement for vulnerability.
"Deal," I say.
"Good." Elias raises his glass in acknowledgment. "Now walk me through the actual threat assessment. You said Gabriel's brother is building a case. What does that look like tactically?"
"Ezra Pope. Corporate attorney, politically ambitious.
He's hired investigators to document Lana's movements, and he's working with Gabriel's estate attorney to challenge the will's validity.
" I lean forward. "He called her earlier this week requesting a meeting.
Framed it as wanting to discuss 'sensitive matters' regarding Gabriel's estate. "
"And she agreed to meet?"
"Tomorrow. Lunch at Marconi's, 1 PM. She's bringing her friend Solange as witness, and she has been advised to hire independent legal counsel. She's meeting with an estate attorney in the morning."
Elias sets down his glass. "You're going to be there. At the lunch."
It's not a question. He knows me well enough to predict my response.
"Different table. Close enough to monitor, far enough to avoid escalating tension. She's wearing a recording device—audio documentation of whatever Ezra says."
"And you trust yourself to maintain professional distance while watching her be interrogated by someone who wants to destroy her?"
The question exposes the exact vulnerability I've been avoiding. Can I watch Ezra Pope question Lana about Gabriel's death, imply she's unstable or dangerous, weaponize her trauma—and maintain the detachment necessary to respond tactically instead of emotionally?
"I have to," I say. "She needs someone there who understands the threat."
"She needs someone there who won't compromise her safety because they're too busy being protective.
" Elias leans forward. "Here's what you're going to do.
You're going to watch that lunch as security, not as someone personally invested.
You take notes on what Ezra says, how he says it, what threats he makes.
You don't intervene unless there's physical danger.
You let Lana handle the psychological warfare herself. "
"And if she breaks? If he pushes hard enough that she can't maintain composure?"
"Then she breaks, and you document it. Show that his questioning was designed to destabilize her." His expression softens slightly. "You can't protect her from discomfort, Jax. You can only protect her from actual harm. Learning the difference is what separates security from smothering."
The distinction lands harder than I want to admit. Protecting from discomfort versus protecting from harm. Gabriel smothered Lana under the guise of care. I need to prove I'm different, that my surveillance exists to give her agency rather than remove it.
"I understand the difference," I say. "Theoretically."
"Theory is worthless tomorrow. You need practical parameters." Elias stands, walks to his desk, and pulls out a notebook. He writes something, tears out the page, and hands it to me. "These are rules I wish someone had given me with Mara. Read them."
I look at the page. Elias's handwriting is precise, each rule numbered:
Document, don't intervene. Your job is witness, not defender.
Physical danger only. Psychological attacks are not emergencies.
Let her fight her own battles. She's stronger than you think.
If you feel the urge to intervene, text me first. I'll talk you down.
After the lunch, debrief with me before you debrief with her. External accountability before emotional processing.
I read the list twice. The rules are clear, specific, designed to prevent exactly the kind of protective overreach I'm prone to.