Chapter 22
With my heart in my throat, I watch Benjamin as he sleeps. He hasn’t woken up yet from being sedated, which is a good thing. Fucking hell, if my lovers can try not to give me a heart attack, I’d really appreciate it.
On one hand, I’m glad that Benjamin’s been able to deal with whatever bullshit he's been going through, and remembers he’s supposed to be Emilio’s best friend.
On the other, I’m ready for him to stop being such a fucking dumbass.
If need be, I’ll tie him to the fucking bed.
Fuck whatever Dr. Ranlen thinks of it, or of me.
My stupidly brave and fearless Topolino… Somehow, he managed to get under my skin and turn my life upside down. Now, I just have to keep him there. If I have to carve my name into his flesh, and burn myself upon his tattered soul, I will. Whatever it takes to get my Baby Mouse back with me.
All of my loves are finally under one roof again, but we’re fractured, hanging onto the ledge with our fingertips. Like hell am I going to allow this to break us. We’re stronger together…better.
I can’t force Benjamin to accept that, but like hell am I going to give up on him, on having all of them.
Even if it means doing things I never thought I would.
I’d do it for him. I meant what I said when I told him it wasn’t Ignacio I wanted him to marry…
I simply need to find a way to get Hollis on board, then I can make my move.
There’s a brief knock on the door before it’s pushed open and Hollis walks in.
He glances at Benjamin, lips pursed, before meeting my eyes.
I know my Tesoro is…less than happy by Benjamin’s recent actions, and I won’t stop him from giving the Topolino a piece of his mind.
Hollis has more rights than anyone else, and that will never change, even if certain actions are taken.
“I just had an…interesting conversation with Keegan,” Hollis signs.
“Interesting, how?”
The corners of Hollis’s mouth pull down and he hesitates before saying, “Apparently, Allesandro wants to talk to us about the Little Monster.”
I sit up straighter in my seat. “What could he possibly have to say? Lio’s being taken care of, that’s all he needs to know.” My signs cut through the air between us, giving away my feelings on the former Il Padrone.
Hollis sighs. “I think we need to hear him out.”
“No!” I wince, checking on Benjamin to make sure he’s not disturbed by my raised voice.
To reassure myself, I stroke my fingers over his hand, hating how still and cold he is in sleep.
The firecracker of a man, who doesn’t hesitate to take what he wants from me, isn’t ever this still when I’m around…
Fuck. I need him to wake up so I can fix whatever’s broken in him.
Looking back to Hollis, I continue in ASL again. “No. I have nothing to say to him, and don’t particularly care to hear what he has to say.”
Hollis sighs, sorrow filling his dark brown eyes.
“I think…we need to listen, Love.” His signs are slow, unsure.
“He knows Emilio better than we do, they’ve had more time together.
If this were Roman…wouldn’t you want to speak with Ignacio about his care?
To make sure he was doing everything he could to bring our Giocattolo back to life? ”
The chair skids across the floor as I stand. I can feel Hollis’s eyes on me as I bend over and press a kiss to Benjamin’s forehead before stalking out of the room, brushing past Hollis.
My Tesoro follows me out of the room, and closes the door firmly behind him. Whirling around, I crowd him against the door.
“That fucker hurt Lio!” I hiss. “Or did you forget? I didn’t realize you suddenly had a soft spot for rapists, Hol!”
The crack of his hand against my skin is loud. It’s the point of the knife against my abdomen that throws me, though. I know for a fucking fact he’s not allowed to carry a weapon right now, not until Doc can trust him again.
“Don’t you ever fucking speak to me like that again, Tennant,” Hollis says quietly. “I love Emilio as much as I love all of you. I will die for that Boy. If we’re able to glean some information that could help him…I’ll gladly take it. With or without you.”
Slamming my mouth against his, I swallow down his moan, hoping he can feel the apology in my touch.
I don’t stop kissing Hollis until I feel the knife pull away from me, though I’m not ignorant enough to believe I’m out of danger.
Hollis may not be as trained as I am, but I don’t doubt he wouldn’t put up one hell of a fight if I push him too far.
My Tesoro isn’t one to ever be underestimated.
“Let’s go see what that asshole has to say about our Boy,” Hollis says.
“Okay. But if he says one wrong word, I’m going to need my knife back so I can cut his tongue out.”
Hollis laughs. “You have another.”
“That’s not the point, Hol. You’re not supposed to be armed.”
“Too fucking bad.” He gently pushes me away and slips out from between the door and me, heading down to Allesandro’s room, my pilfered knife still in his hand.
I smile and shake my head, following behind him. The door is partially open, but Hollis gives it a courtesy knock before walking in.
I’m surprised to see Dr. Ranlen in the room with Allesandro, which makes the fire burning in me grow a little hotter.
I know she isn’t my biggest fan—not that I actually care, but I also know she’s Emilio’s friend.
If she’s here, either she knows what Allesandro is going to say and is on board, or she wants to make sure Hol and I don’t kill the bastard—probably both.
Her being present doesn’t make me feel good inside.
Hollis must realize that as he looks at me and gives the tiniest shake of his head.
Rolling my eyes at him, I shut the door and lean against it, arms crossed over my chest, feet crossed at the ankles, going for disinterested.
I’m not a mimic like Leandro, but I’ve spent years pretending all the same.
“Thank you for coming,” Allesandro says.
He’s sitting up in bed, and though he looks better than he did, he’s not the large, imposing man he was before. Even when he and Cristian first came home from being kidnapped, he was…more.
It seems he’s serious about no longer being “Il Padrone”.
“Did we have a choice?” Hollis asks.
“Of course, you did. There’s always a choice. I’m glad you chose to hear me out. I never would have put you in this position if it wasn’t important. But…Lio’s well-being is in question here, and whether you believe me or not, I will always take that seriously.”
“Right,” Hol says slowly. “Like you did when you broke his trust.”
Allesandro sucks in a breath, but if he has a response, Hollis doesn’t let him voice it.
“I was raped, you know. For years. I was used, played with, I was broken down to a shell of the person I was. This,” he gestures to himself.
“I built who I am today from scratch. I wasn’t much younger than Roman and Emilio when I was able to get out.
I look at them, at my son, and I wonder how I ever survived.
Because while they’re all strong, all capable…
it’s hard for me to imagine being that age again and surviving the pain I went through. ”
Hollis sucks in a breath, and I want so badly to go to him, but I know he needs to get this out. Besides, he’d probably stab me if I tried to comfort him now.
“Emilio trusted you, and you didn’t just break that trust, you obliterated it.
I was betrayed by people I trusted, too.
First, my father, who sold me, and then someone I considered a sibling, who told my demon how to find me.
” Hollis grins, and it's a twisted thing that gets my blood pumping. “I couldn’t kill my father, but I did destroy his life as soon as I could. And I happily killed V the moment I got the chance. It’s not the same for Emilio, though.
I don’t think he’ll ever be able to kill you.
His mind is full of demons, but you’re not one of them. ”
My hands hurt from how hard I’m squeezing my fists together. I hate hearing the pain in Hollis’s voice when he talks about his past, and how much fucking sense he’s making about Lio.
“I love Emilio. I love Roman, Jude, and Ten, too. And I can’t imagine ever hurting them like you hurt Lio.” The hardness in Hollis’s tone shouldn’t be so fucking hot, but I love seeing him in charge like this. If only the circumstances were different.
“I know,” Allesandro replies. “I hurt Lio, and there’s nothing that will make you trust me again—fuck if I’ll ever truly trust myself either. But…I hope your feelings for him will allow you to hear me out. I know you love him, and knowing him as I do…I know he loves you, too.”
“I’m to believe you suddenly changed your mind about that?” Hollis tilts his head, watching Allesandro intently.
“I want Emilio to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted…even if it’s not with me.”
Something akin to heartbreak crosses Allesandro’s face. It's there and gone so fast, I almost want to pretend I didn’t see it.
“I've already told him what you are to Lio,” Dr. Ranlen speaks up. “He knows the importance you have in his life. I believe him when he says he only wants Lio happy. You may not know this, but I’ve seen how much those two care about each other. Even when they try to pretend they’re not completely besotted, it’s clear when you’re in the same room as them.
Yes, Allesandro crossed all the lines, I’ll be the first to say that, Lio is my friend, after all.
But you can trust in the feelings they have for each other. ”
“As if that’s something we want to hear,” I grouse.
Dr. Ranlen shrugs delicately. “It’s the truth, whether you want to hear it or not.”
“I know you’re Emilio’s…Daddy,” Allesandro says. Pain crosses his face once again as he looks at me. “He needs that, even when he thinks he doesn’t. He needs the care and softness mixed with the firm rules and structure a Daddy can give him. I’m glad he has you.”