Chapter 44 Emilio
Snuggling into my Daddy, I smile. Fuck it feels good to have cuddles. I…I didn’t think I’d still have this. I know I’ve got a long way to go. Nothing feels normal yet, and fuck knows if that’s even a thing anymore, but there’s hope. Daddy knows what I did, and he doesn’t hate me.
With a sigh, I realize I still have to face the person who has the ultimate power to break me. I…I’m scared. Fuck. That’s a hard realization to swallow. I’m supposed to be Death, and yet I’m so fucking scared that Roman will turn away from me.
My stabby soulmate…and yet, he’s so much more than just that.
But, like a fucking asshole, I tortured him.
Sure, I understand what everyone has been saying about me not having a choice, but still, how can he even look at me?
How can I not be a reminder of that cold cell and the pain we lived through in that hell?
I stifle a whimper as I snuggle deeper into Tennant. Fuck, at this point, I may as well be trying to get under his skin. Maybe that’s creepy, but it’s true. I want his protection, his love, surrounding me completely. Yet, somehow, I have to be strong enough to face this on my own… Right?
Two arms squeeze me tight and I breathe out, relaxing into my Daddy’s embrace. Fuck. How does he know?
“You alright, Baby Boy?” Tennant’s voice rumbles, morning roughening it further.
I nod into him before pulling back and reaching for a kiss. My intention is to keep it short because of morning breath, but Tennant must not give a fuck. His lips claim me, and the sweet feeling of submission fills me, the heavy chains of pain falling from my heart one at a time.
When he pulls back, I whisper, “I love you, Daddy.”
His brows furrow as he runs a finger down my cheek.
He doesn’t say the words back, but I’m alright with that.
I know how he feels. He shows me it with every action, and really, that is even better.
Sighing, I give him a small smile, my body still exhausted from the fuckery that’s been playing havoc on my mind.
“What are your plans for today, Little Monster?” he asks as he tugs on my way too-greasy hair.
Biting my lip, I glance up at him from under my eyelashes. “Uh, I was hoping to see Roman. I… It’s time. Javi wants me to start seeing people again, and…I need to see him. I’m scared though.”
“You know Roman loves you,” he hesitates, “and so does Benjamin.”
I shrug at the reference to Benjamin. My heart isn’t ready to go there.
That situation needs to be fixed too, but…
my stabby soulmate comes first. “Do you think I could take a shower today? Javi said he’d find me clothes that aren’t a suit.
He was going to have someone help me in there, but I’d rather it be you. ”
“Hmm…I’m not thrilled about another man picking clothes out for you.”
I wrinkle my nose while shaking my head. “It’s not like that’s fun for him. I just want to see what it’s like to wear something different…to be different.”
“Baby Boy, it doesn’t matter what you wear, you will always be our Emilio. And you’d better remember your ass belongs to your Owner and your Daddy… And,” Tennant pauses with a shudder, “Your Master and Papa Bear has a role as well. A small, very small role.”
I giggle before staring at him in shock. It’s the first time I’ve giggled in way too long. From Tennant’s smug face, he knows it. Still, he slides out of the bed and offers me a hand, pulling me up. I stumble into him upon standing, the new medications making me groggy and off balance.
He guides me out of my room, and it feels good to actually be moving, even if I’m not a fan of walking around in a fucking patient gown. Still, the idea of having a shower and getting some clean clothes make it worth it.
I keep my eyes out for Rose, but don’t see her anywhere.
I barely hear Tennant check in with the staff before I’m led toward a bathroom with a shower.
My room, unfortunately, doesn’t have a shower—or a lockable bathroom.
Tennant nudges me into the bathroom, taking the pile of clothes from the assistant.
He’s new to me, which worries me. Where the fuck is Rose?
While Tennant takes a moment to make sure the water gets up to the right temperature, I shift from foot to foot, anxiety creeping in.
The shower…fuck. I forgot. I forgot how much it scares me now.
I don’t say anything while Tennant wraps plastic around the bandages on my arms, but the tension coils in me until I’m shaking.
“You’re alright, Baby Boy. I’m going to stay out here while you take a shower.”
Somehow, Tennant knows. This is why he’s the ultimate Daddy.
I don’t have to say the words, but he still understands.
I fling myself into his arms, attacking him with kisses all over his face.
This time, he chuckles as I pull away, and my soul vibrates with happiness at making him laugh.
It’s rare, and it’s so damn special. Knowing Daddy is there to keep away the demons, I quickly take a shower, although I have to wash my hair three times before I feel like it’s clean.
Stepping out, I turn off the water and Tennant is waiting with a towel, making sure to dry me thoroughly. My dick attempts to twitch, and I blush when it doesn’t do anything more than that. I look away, ashamed, but Tennant pinches my chin, guiding me to look at him.
“Sex isn’t everything, Little Monster. What we have is far more precious than sweaty moments. I get just as much pleasure from this, alright?”
I swallow, still shaking inside, but nod my head. Without a word, I let him dress me in the clothes Javi gathered for me. They are actually pretty comfortable. I smile in approval, even as Tennant scowls.
“Don’t get used to it,” he warns. “I will find you new clothes if you don’t want to wear suits. Not Javi.”
“Yes, Daddy.” I brush my fingers through my freshly combed and clean hair. “May I go see Roman now?”
“Yes. Do you need me to go with you?” Tennant wraps me in a hug, so I don’t have to look at him while I process the emotions, and I fall even deeper in love with him. Fuck. I didn’t think that was even possible.
“No…I…I think I need to do this on my own. I need to know he’ll still see me. That he doesn’t hate me.”
“You never have to do anything alone, but if this is what you want, then I stand by you.” He steps back, but holds out his hand. I take it and squeeze hard as he guides me out of the bathroom and toward Roman’s room.
We stop just before it and the panic fights with me again, the demons creeping into my mind and tearing it to pieces. I grit my teeth against them and their words. Words like how much he’ll hate me, and how he should, even if he says he doesn’t. I swallow the bile that fights its way up my throat.
“Are you sure?” Daddy whispers one last time.
Forcing myself to stand tall, even as my insides quake, I nod even as my words come out shaky. “Yeah. Just…can you be here? Afterwards…”
“I will always be here, Little Monster. For you, and for Roman.”
With that, my breathing eases and I step forward, into the unknown. Fuck. I hope he doesn’t hate me… I hope he’ll love me no matter what…
Glancing over my shoulder, I see Daddy lean against the wall and give me an encouraging smile, even though I catch the edges of worry in his eyes.
Fuck. Alright. I can do this. I can.
I raise my hand, and knock on the door gently, praying he’s asleep, and yet, at the same time, wanting to get this over with.
Roman’s soft, “Enter,” comes, and it’s time.
There’s no going back now. If there’s any mercy in this world, I’ll survive the storm swirling through me, but fuck if I deserve it.
Still, I want it, I beg for it. Mercy. Oh, fuck. Please, have mercy on me…
I open the door, hoping to get it over with.
I’m not surprised to see Carter in there with Roman, but I don’t pay him any attention.
My eyes are caught on my stabby soulmate, and it’s like a million ties suddenly snap into place, reminding us of who we are…
individually, but also bound together. Nothing except the deepest crimson cuts could ever sever our relationship—and hell, not even that.
Because as I look at him, I suddenly know that not even death could stop us. He’s mine. Always. And me? I’m his. Whether he wants me or not…
Mercy. Please, for fuck’s sake, have mercy on me…