Chapter 12
Cam
We’re lucky it hasn’t decided to snow. I’m a baby in the winter, and I hate driving in it, even a little.
Pulling up to the small bar downtown, I find a parking spot across the street.
Bo’s going to drive home because I think I’ll take him up on drinking tonight.
I’m not a big drinker, but I’ve been on edge all day.
I don’t even know why. “You ever been here before?”
“Oh, no, I haven’t. It’s bigger than the one we met the failed blow-job guy at.” He looks out the window, taking in the busy street in front of the bar.
This little ass. “Mean, Bo.”
“What?” He blinks innocently at me, a slow smile spreading across his lips. “Was he not the failed blow-job guy?”
“Don’t be mean. And it wasn’t failed. He very successfully blow-jobbed me. To completion in fact.” He grimaces. “It wasn’t bad, really it wasn’t. It wasn't for me.” It was not a skill issue. I wish I could say that night answered questions for me, but I don’t think that’s true.
Not that Bo needs to know that, because my mind is a mess and I’m not inviting him into thoughts I still don’t understand myself.
Since he kissed me I can’t stop thinking about it.
Things have gotten easier, and the weird tension between us is all but gone, but then I saw Amira earlier and something in me won’t stop thinking about the interaction between her and Bo.
Bo’s right, though.
Amira is pretty.
Beautiful, really, and talented . . . and so far out of my damn league it’s not even funny.
But for the first time in my life I’m not even sure I want to try.
Normally I would. I love women and she is stunning.
Old me would have asked her out by now. Then I think about Bowen and Noah, and while I know there’s nothing going on there, really, I still feel .
. . gross. I don’t know. It’s slimy and heavy and feels a hell of a lot like jealousy.
I felt it after Bowen gave me the details of that night. He and Noah got naked . . . So not jealous. They made out . . . Absolutely not jealous at all. Bo went to suck him off and Noah got a flat tire . . . His words, not mine.
Not jealous at all.
He had Bo in a way I’ve never even thought of since that night I felt him press against me and melt into me. That night was . . . it was . . . “Earth to Camden Lorenzo Almeida.”
“Ooh, a boy name this time. Nice. Good way to switch it up.” I grin.
“Still not my middle name.” Bowen looks adorable tonight, which is really unfortunate.
He has product in his hair, and while I love the silky soft way his hair usually looks, this style is different and a bit edgy and yeah, okay, it’s kind of hot.
He’s wearing a black hoodie that fits his slim frame, and jeans with holes around the knee.
I’ve noticed he’s been dressing a bit differently since he and Noah became friends, and I don’t know if it’s Noah’s suggestion or something he’s wanted to do.
There’s this confident air about him now, and it’s doing things to my insides.
Bowen gets out of my car, and I follow behind him, shoving my hands in my pockets. It’s freezing right now, the chilly air hugging my lungs. “If you want to go home with anyone, let me know. I can always go home or go back to Noah and Jamie’s for a bit.”
“What?”
Bowen stops to look at me. White puffs of air leave his lips.
I have his inhaler in my pocket just in case.
I know I take his asthma way more seriously than he does; he probably forgot his other one.
Or maybe he’s just so used to me always having it he doesn’t even think about it.
He rarely even has any attacks, but still, I’m ready anytime he needs it.
It freaks me out, actually. I know I treat him like he could have an attack at any moment, but when your best friend goes blue in the third grade it’s not something you forget. “I just meant if you find a pretty girl, don’t worry about me, okay? It’s been a bit, yeah?”
I mean, it has. Siena was the last person I really had sex with.
I know Max technically counts, but I haven’t slept with anyone since her.
I try not to think too hard about what happened with Bo, because thinking about it just brings more questions, and those questions make my brain hurt.
“I don’t have to have sex, Bo. I’m not a machine. I’m not due for an oil change.”
“Well, if you need someone to check your dipstick, let me know.” He turns toward the bar.
“You’re acting like I'll waste away if I don't get laid.”
He stops on the sidewalk and blinks up at me.
I almost laugh. The magnified way his eyes look behind those glasses always does shit to my chest. “I know for a fact you don’t go more than a couple of months without being with someone.
And that’s fine. I just don’t want you to think you can’t because of me.
I’m okay.” Why do his words sound very not okay, then? “Don’t worry about me.”
“Mission impossible. I always worry about you.”
Bowen stops short, startling me. We’re never getting into this bar at this rate.
“I think we’ve moved past the weirdness, right?
It’s time to move on, and I don’t want you to stop on my account.
I’m okay. Great even. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get blow-jobbed tonight.
” He winks, and while I know he’s teasing, those words send me into a spiral of thoughts I don’t want to think about.
“What if I don’t want to get B-jobbed tonight?”
“How does that sound even worse?” he says.
I laugh, and loop my arm around his shoulders, pulling him into me. His hand slides up my stomach as we walk, while he hugs me against his body.
“I’m just saying you can.”
“And I’m just saying I’m not even thinking about that.” I’m not, which is rare, because Bo is right. I usually have found someone new by now. “My penis thanks you for the permission, though.”
“I don’t like that you talk about it like he’s his own person.”
“With thoughts, dreams, and hobbies.” I smile, kissing the top of his head. “What’s in your hair?” It smells good, not strong thankfully, or my best friend would be wheezing by now. It’s why I choose the body wash I do. It’s a soft scent that isn’t harsh at all, like my unscented deodorant.
“Noah gave me this hair gel. It didn’t work in his curls. I like it. It doesn’t smell strong or anything.” He looks up at me. “Do I look weird?”
He looks beautiful.
“It looks great. Smells really good. Subtle.” Beautiful.
Shit.
This is going to be a long night.
Walking into the bar, Bo looks around the room.
I see Noah standing on a seat waving his hand at us from a booth in the corner.
The man next to him tugs his pants, making him sit down.
I’ve never met his friends or boyfriend, and I have to admit I’m a little nervous.
Bowen walks quickly toward the table with the biggest grin on his face, and Noah pulls out of the arms of the man he’s sitting against to come out of the booth and hug Bo.
“So happy you’re here.” Noah looks at me. “Hey, Gym Daddy.”
Oh, the nickname. “Hey.”
“Come, let me introduce you.” He grabs Bowen’s hand, leading him to the table. I watch the way their fingers interconnect, and it’s like the ghost of the things I know they did just keep haunting me. Which is so stupid. I know nothing happened, so why am I so jealous?
“Puck Daddy.” He points to a White man in the booth with dark brown hair and a beard. “This is our birthday baddie, Hunter.”
The man closes his eyes, shaking his head. “Happy birthday.” I shake his hand.
“This is Bowen’s best friend, Gym Daddy.”
“Please feel free to never call me that. My name is Cam, or Camden. Either is fine.”
“Oh, you get a name too?” Hunter, or uh, Puck Daddy shakes his head. “Fun.”
“That gorgeous sexy man right there is my boyfriend, Jamie.”
“Hey.” The tall Asian man who had his arm around Noah when we first walked in waves.
He has the outline of a flower tattoo on his neck.
Fucking ouch. His hoodie sleeves are rolled up, revealing full sleeves of tattoos, and his red-tinged eyes are half closed.
Is he high? “Wait. Why don’t I get a Daddy name? ”
“Oh, sweetie.” Noah pats his cheek. “No.”
Jamie shakes his head. “I’m really sorry.”
Is he talking to me? “For what?”
“For . . . anything. Everything. The rest of this night probably.”
Noah slides into the booth, leaning into Jamie’s body, and Jamie puts his arm around Noah, tucking him against his side. “Um, hello.” The other White man with blond hair waves.
“What?” Noah cocks his brow.
“Are we going to introduce me?”
“Why are you so needy?” Noah shakes his head. “That’s Mark.”
The man rolls his blue eyes and reaches for my hand. “I’m that psychopath’s best friend.”
“I told you, at anytime we can cut him off,” Hunter says to Mark. “Just say the word, baby, and they’ll never hear from us again.”
We slide into the other side of the wrap-around booth as a server comes to the table for our drinks.
I order a mojito. “Your sodas are gluten free, right?” Bo asks.
The waitress nods and he orders a cola. Most sodas are, and I think again about letting him drink, but I know he has to work tomorrow.
Jamie just orders a water, Hunter and Mark order a draft, and Noah orders a mocktail.
Then Noah’s gaze drops to the open book on the table.
“Come on.” Jamie nudges him.
“Hold on, I was almost done with this chapter when GD and Bobo walked in.”
“GD?”
“Gym Daddy,” Noah says simply, going back to his page. “Ugh! Just getting to the sexy bits.” He closes the book after putting in his bookmark.
“Can I see?” Mark goes to grab it from him.
Noah pulls it back in a fury. “Hell no.”
“Why are you such an ass?”
“You know what you did!”
“I dog-earred one page of one of your books like four years ago. Get over it.” Mark folds his arms glaring at Noah.
“Never.” Noah jabs a finger toward him. “I’ll never forget.”