Chapter 17 #2
“I didn’t drive to work today,” she adds, softer now. “Could you give me a ride? I’ll drop these off quickly, it won’t take long.”
The elevator doors slide open with a brisk chime. I step inside, my voice steady, final.
“See you tomorrow, Maya.”
The doors close.
The last thing I see is her frozen in place—caught between disbelief and hurt.
I park beside Ceci’s car in the garage and take the stairs up to the kitchen.
I find my two girls there. Alicia is perched on a stool with her back to me, animatedly chattering about something I can’t quite make out, while her mom pulls cutlery from a drawer. Ceci notices me first. Her lips curve into a smile, and just like that, something tight in my chest loosens.
I press a finger to my lips.
I step up behind Alicia and murmur, “So… how much did my little princess miss her daddy?”
She startles, wobbling on the stool. I steady her by the waist, and she twists around, immediately leaning into me, arms slipping around my middle. I bend to kiss the top of her head, breathing her in. When I look up again, Ceci is no longer in the kitchen.
With one arm still around Alicia’s shoulders, I take a few steps and spot Ceci setting the table.
“I need to give some of my love to Mommy now, princess,” I murmur.
Alicia giggles and steps back, giving me a playful shove before letting go.
Ceci turns just as I reach her.
“Aren’t you going to give me a hug?” I ask, already pulling her into my arms.
She hugs me back, but it’s hesitant. Guarded. Not the way she used to. I tighten my hold, unwilling to let her slip through my fingers.
“I missed you so much,” I murmur into her hair. “I hate sleeping in our bed alone.”
She exhales a weary breath, and gently pulls away.
“I need to check on the lasagna.”
I catch her arm before she can retreat. “Three days without me, and you’re not even going to kiss me?”
She rolls her eyes, but there’s a faint smile at the corner of her mouth. I take it as permission. I cup her face and kiss her, pouring everything I’ve been holding back into it… want, relief, the need to feel her close again.
But just as I try to deepen it, she pulls away and turns back toward the kitchen.
I’m left standing there, unsettled, a frown settling between my brows.
I don’t understand this distance. I don’t know when it crept in… or why it feels so intentional now.
But I do know one thing.
I won’t let her keep slipping further away from me.
I close the garage door quietly and head up the stairs.
Ceci is already asleep when I step into the bedroom. It’s the first time all week since they came back on Tuesday that I went to Maya’s apartment. I told myself I needed it. To take the edge off.
The truth is, Ceci hasn’t been the same since she returned. There’s a wall between us now, one I can feel even when she’s right beside me. And every time I try to scale it, it seems to grow taller.
Tomorrow is Saturday. I’ll only need a few hours at the office. Then I’ll be back in time to take them to the park, just like I promised. We’ll have Sunday too. A whole day together. Time as a family.
Things will go back to normal. They have to.
In the bathroom, I strip out of my clothes and toss them into the hamper without thinking. I never let Maya touch me until I’m completely undressed.
That one time on the office couch was different. Rushed. Careless. I’d pulled on the same jacket I’d been wearing earlier, barely thinking as I rushed out of the bathroom after seeing Ceci’s text, informing me she was at the hospital with Alicia.
The same jacket she noticed later. Carrying another woman’s scent.
The first and only time. Never again.
I shut my eyes, forcing the memory away.
Maya doesn’t belong here. Not in this part of my life. Not in this house.
I step under the shower, letting the water run over me for the second time tonight, as if it can wash away more than just the day.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow everything will go back to the way it was.
October
Cecily
The only thing I can say about September is that I’m glad it’s over.
With the kids back in school, Alicia has her first cell phone—a thought that still sends a chill down my spine when I consider all the doors it opens, all the risks that come with it.
Out of all her friends, she was the only one without one.
We promised she could have it when she started seventh grade. And we kept our word.
Before he left for San Francisco, Mark set everything up for her. BBlocking every harmful or inappropriate website he could think of, tightening the parental controls as much as possible. We trust our girl, but in the world we live in, trust alone isn’t enough. Caution is love, too.
Colin being more present these past few weeks has helped. He traveled to Seattle last Friday but was back by Saturday afternoon. He’s still working a lot, that hasn’t changed, but at least he’s around more. Or tries to be.
The only real weekend we had together was the one right after we returned from the Hamptons.
We went to Prospect Park. Alicia had a blast, and Ethan mostly just ate his way through the afternoon.
It felt good—walking beside Colin, holding hands, watching our kids laugh and enjoy themselves.
For a brief moment, it almost felt normal again.
Almost.
I think we’ve found a new rhythm. But it isn’t one I’m entirely satisfied with.
Work has been taking up most of my days, and unlike before, I’m no longer giving up my research or my writing time just to be available whenever Colin happens to be home.
He tried to complain once. All I had to do was remind him of his own schedule.
He is making an effort, but it’s still not enough.
I drink another glass of water and refresh my inbox, checking again, for the email I’ve been waiting on. Just then, the doorbell rings. Still glued to my phone, I walk over and open the door without even glancing at the camera.
“Hey, gorgeous. Miss me?”
My eyes widen. In an instant, my phone is forgotten. I throw my arms around his neck, jumping into his embrace. He hugs me tight, lifting me slightly off the floor.
“You’re back!” I grin.
“Let me see you,” Mark says, setting me down. True to form, he spins me one-armed, like he always does.
“You’re going to make me dizzy,” I laugh, swatting at him.
He hugs me again, kisses my cheek, then turns toward the still-open door. Before I can ask what he’s doing, he reappears carrying several shopping bags.
“When are you going to stop spoiling my kids every time you travel?” I scold, even as I smile.
“And give up my title as favorite uncle? Never,” he shoots back, kicking the door shut behind him. He drops the bags in the living room and sinks onto the couch with a sigh that’s far more dramatic than necessary.
I sit beside him, studying his face. He looks tired—dark circles under his eyes—but he’s still the same handsome man I met more than twenty years ago.
Tan skin, dark hair neatly styled, beard trimmed to frame that defined jawline.
The only difference now is the round, thin-framed glasses he insists make him look “more serious, professional, and fuckable all at once.”
“You’ve got huge bags under your eyes,” I say when I catch him watching me.
“You don’t look much better,” he teases. “With all the articles of yours I’ve been reading—and with my niece and nephew back in school—that’s hardly surprising.” He gives my cheek a playful squeeze. “Now. Catch me up. What did I miss while I was gone?”
We talk until time slips away from us. I only realize how late it is when the front door opens and Ethan and Alicia walk in. Alicia’s still in her ballet clothes, and Ethan now licensed, picked her up. He’s been offering to help whenever I need extra time to work.
The moment they see Mark, they rush toward him, throwing their arms around him in a tight embrace, questions overlapping in their excitement.
When he hands Ethan a professional-grade drawing tablet, and then Alicia a custom one tucked neatly inside a ballet case, their excitement only grows.
Earlier, he’d already given me a new laptop, despite my protests that the old one worked just fine. According to him, this one is better suited for my work, preloaded with programs he designed himself to help with revisions and formatting.
Mark stays for dinner. We order Thai, one of his favorites, and something the kids never refuse. Afterward, they head to bed early, leaving Mark and me in the living room, finishing a final glass of wine before he calls a rideshare.
Just as we hear the key turn in the lock, Mark pulls me onto his lap, nearly sending wine sloshing over the rim of my glass.
Colin walks in and scowls immediately.
“How kind of you to visit us at such an hour. Wife, your husband number two has arrived,” Mark announces solemnly, slipping into an exaggerated British accent.
I burst out laughing, right up until Colin strides over and pulls me off Mark’s lap by the hand. Mark barely manages to save my glass.
Colin runs his fingers through my hair and kisses me hard, possessive. “Missed you,” he says, adding a quick peck before turning to Mark. “When are you going to get a husband and stop harassing my wife?”
“Or a wife, darling. Don’t forget—I swing both ways,” Mark replies cheerfully. “Besides, Cecily already loves me. Be careful. Absence makes the heart wander… and all that.”
Colin’s jaw tightens, but he doesn’t respond. Instead, he announces he’s going to shower and change, promising to come back down. Halfway up the stairs, he looks back. “When are you going back to San Francisco? Your little robot friends must be missing you.”
“To your wife’s delight… not so soon, my dear. Not so soon.”
It’s always the same with them. Mark pokes. Colin bristles.
I sink back into the couch, my wine forgotten.
“What’s going on with you two?” Mark asks gently.
Of course he noticed. After more than twenty years of friendship, he knows me well enough to hear what I leave unsaid.
“Why?” I try to deflect.
“He still looks at you like you’re the moon,” Mark says softly. “But you… you seem more guarded.”
I try to change the subject, but I know better than to think he’ll let it go.
“The usual,” I sigh. “Colin working too much. Me trying to get him to be home more. He went to Seattle last week, but at least he was back by Saturday.”
Mark hums thoughtfully. “They’re negotiating that biotech acquisition, right? I saw the news. Shame the founder couldn’t see it through, it was a great project.”
He brushes his thumb along my cheek and smiles. “If that’s what’s been keeping him away, don’t worry. From what I read, the deal’s basically wrapped up. Another week or so, and he’ll close it.”
I smile back.
I don’t tell him that Colin’s absence has stretched far beyond any deal or deadline.
Tonight, I have my friend back and for now, I choose to hold on to that, instead of weighing him down with truths I’m still learning how to say.