Chapter 05
But... it's Thanksgiving
Colin
I ring the doorbell of my own house, and just like every day this past week, they make me wait before opening.
Mark answers. We don’t exchange a word; there’s nothing left to say.
The humiliation of having to invent a flimsy story about being mugged at a gas station just to justify the black eye and swollen lip is already more than enough.
This week feels like something pulled straight from one of Dante’s circles of hell.
Ceci doesn’t want me in our home anymore. When I’m here, I’m a guest. Tolerated and temporary.
Montgomery Clifford is on the verge of losing an acquisition that was practically sealed.
Our legal team is knotted up in two others.
And as if that weren’t enough, the potential investor from San Jose—the one I spent hours with, the one I was certain I had locked in—walked away. Even after Jonathan sweetened the deal.
I walk past Mark and into the living room.
“Daddy!”
Alicia comes toward me with quick steps and pulls me into a tight hug. I hold her close, grateful and relieved that this, at least, hasn’t changed. She’s the only one in this house who seems happy to see me.
I kiss the top of her head, and she pulls back. My eyes instinctively search for Ceci, but she’s nowhere in sight. I haven’t seen her since that day.
When I left on Tuesday, after the argument with Ethan and Mark, I met up with Oliver. He told me what he always does, that I need to be patient, that Ceci needs time. Time to forgive me.
But it’s been hard. Hard as hell.
I don’t see her. I don’t touch her. I don’t even hear her voice anymore.
She only communicates with me through texts now. If I call, she doesn’t answer. She just replies to ask if it’s about the kids. If I say no, the message stays on read. Nothing else follows.
“Where’s your mom?” I ask.
Alicia’s face lights up. “She’s working on her new room. Me, Ethan, and Uncle Mark helped her move her things. Mom said she likes the room with the window facing the street better. I even helped pick out some really cool stuff to decorate!”
Her cheerful tone makes every word land harder.
Ceci moved out of our room. Out of our bed.
She’s trying to erase me. Erase us.
“Colin, let me sleep a little longer.”
Her voice is sleepy, almost pleading, and it makes me smile as I trail kisses down her spine. When I pull the sheet away and turn her onto her back, her eyes are suddenly much more awake.
I smile again as I lower myself over her, covering her body with mine.
“Shall we go? I’ve got plans early tomorrow with my friends. We can’t stay out too late.”
Ethan’s dry tone snaps me back to the present.
It takes me a moment to pull myself together. There’s a knot lodged in my throat, the weight in my chest pressing harder. When I finally look at him, he’s standing close to his sister, arms crossed.
I force a smile. “You’re coming with us, son?”
Ethan doesn’t answer. He places a hand on Alicia’s shoulder and starts toward the door. Just before we step outside, I catch Mark watching from the stairs, his expression tight. I turn my back on him and follow the kids, closing the door behind us.
As soon as I unlock the car, Alicia gets into the back seat. Before Ethan gets in, I speak up. “I’m really glad you’re coming to dinner with us too, Ethan.”
His shoulders stiffen, but he doesn’t turn around. “I’m only here to make sure Alicia’s okay.”
The words hit me hard, right in the gut. “I would never do anything to hurt your sister,” I say. I’m not sure whether what slips into my voice is hurt, disbelief, or irritation. Maybe all three.
He scoffs, turns to face me, and rolls his eyes. “Yeah. Like you loved Mom and would never hurt her, right?”
Then he turns away again and takes the back seat beside Alicia, leaving me alone up front like the damn chauffeur.
I take a slow breath. He’s angry. Disappointed. That’s normal. At seventeen, everything feels bigger, harder to forgive. In time, he’ll understand that not everything is black and white. That things happen. But that doesn’t mean I stopped loving Ceci, or him, or Alicia.
I get in, start the engine, and put on the song Alicia asked for. The whole drive, I cling to the hope that at dinner, he’ll see that not everything has changed.
I kiss Alicia’s forehead and watch her disappear upstairs. Dinner didn’t go the way I’d imagined.
Alicia had fun. I took them to their favorite gourmet burger place. Ethan barely ate. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him leave half a burger untouched, and knowing it’s because being around me kills his appetite makes my stomach twist.
Alicia was the bridge all night, keeping the conversation alive, making sure everyone stayed engaged. Ethan only spoke to her. He never looked at me once.
I exhale, tired in a way that feels bone-deep, like I'm carrying the world on my shoulders. I turn to leave, fighting the urge to go upstairs and look for Ceci.
"Colin."
When she says my name, after days of silence, it rolls through me like a blessing I don't deserve.
I turn, already smiling, just from the relief of finally seeing her… but the smile fades. She's as beautiful as ever, the most beautiful woman I've ever known, but thinner, paler. It's been almost a week since I last saw her, and she looks worn, fragile. I did this to her.
“Ceci... how are you?” My voice falters.
“How was dinner? Did everything go well with the kids?”
Even now, she won’t talk about anything that isn’t them.
“It was good. Alicia had a great time. Ethan was more withdrawn, but she always finds a way to get him talking.”
Her chest rises and falls with a soft sigh of relief. It tells me everything I need to know. She doesn’t trust me anymore. Not even with our children. The other times I came by, she didn’t show. It’s not a coincidence that she’s here now.
“Good. Just make sure it’s only you when you take them out. Alicia knows we’re separated, but she is convinced this is temporary,” she says. Her voice is steady, but there’s exhaustion beneath it.
“There’s no one else to go with me. You’re the only one I want with us. Why don’t you come next time?”
She only looks at me, and I can’t stop noticing the dark circles under her eyes.
“Have you been sleeping? Eating? You look exhausted. Did you talk to a doctor about the headaches?”
Ceci shakes her head, staring at the floor. For a moment, I think she won’t answer. Then she lifts her gaze.
“My husband of almost nineteen years cheated on me for months, and I’m still trying to process it,” she says. “That’s why I have headaches, insomnia, no appetite. I don’t need a doctor to tell me the obvious.”
I did this to her.
“Please. See a doctor anyway.”
“Colin, I’m not your concern anymore. Your time to be a good husband ended months ago.”
If she’d driven a knife into my chest, it would’ve hurt less. I’ll never stop worrying about you, Ceci.
“I want to talk to you about Thanksgiving next week.”
My heart leaps with foolish hope. Every year, Ceci turned this house into something that made the wait for this time of year feel worthwhile. We always hosted her parents, our friends. Laughter spilled through the rooms, wine flowed freely, and everything seemed to glow with life.
My parents only came a handful of times, years ago. Lately, they always choose hotel banquets. The same people. The same conversations. Business talk always taking center stage.
But Ceci’s Thanksgiving dinners were always different. They were ours.
“I’ll be spending it with the kids at my parents’ house,” she says. “If you want to see them, come earlier in the day.”
The words land hard enough that I have to grip the back of the couch.
“But… it’s Thanksgiving.”
“I know. And I just said you can come earlier. You can plan something with them the next day if you want.”
“You’re not hosting dinner here? Not this year?”
Her lips tremble before she speaks. Her voice stays calm, but her hands tighten at her sides.
“And give thanks for what, Colin? That I didn’t catch an STI? That the Plan B worked? That my children and I didn’t end up with an unwanted reminder of your betrayal?”
The words don’t waver, but I catch the tremor in her mouth when she stops, the way her fingers curl into fists. Whatever hope I had left dies right there, in front of me.
I feel sick all of a sudden, my stomach twisting into knots.
“Let me know once you’ve decided,” Ceci says, already turning toward the stairs. “So I can plan with my parents.”
“Ceci, wait.” The words come out desperate. I just want to stop her from leaving.
I scramble for something, anything, to make her stay a little longer. “Ethan seems more upset every time he sees me. I don’t know what to do to make him talk to me again.”
Ceci rubs her forehead. “On Tuesday, he saw some of what Mark collected.”
Tuesday. The day he almost punched me. I close my eyes. “What did he see?”
“Just a few screenshots. Mark grabbed his tablet in time. He didn’t have the chance to dig through the rest of the files.”
I grit my teeth. “Mark shouldn’t have left that lying around. If it weren’t for his carelessness, Ethan never would’ve seen it.”
“No, Colin.” Her voice leaves no room for argument. “You never should’ve done any of that. If you’d been the father and husband he thought you were, there wouldn’t have been anything for him to find on Mark’s tablet.”
There’s an exhaustion in her voice that feels stronger than anger, as if she doesn’t even believe it’s worth explaining anymore. “Just let me know later how you want to handle next week.”
Then she turns and walks away without another word.
I watch her go up the stairs, fighting every instinct to follow her, to pull her back into my arms and beg her to let me come home. When she disappears at the top, I’m left staring at the empty staircase, wondering how much longer I’ll have to keep watching her walk away from me.