4. Rage & Confusion
4
RAGE & CONFUSION
GHOST
We’re lined up in rank. Again. That’s twice this week, and I don’t mind one bit because I’m second from the front, and fuck everyone else. I’ll knock Seven down eventually, and then it’ll be me in first place where I goddamn belong.
With Menace between me and Riot, I give him a smug look, not at all fazed about what happened last night because here I am, ahead of him like I am in everything else.
“The hell happened to you?” Director asks me. “You look half dead.”
Riot snorts, and everyone looks at me.
“Something I need to know about?” Director asks us.
Yeah, my dead hand jerked him off and he came on my abs… and I didn’t wash it off right away.
We’ve already been punished one too many times for our spats. Director made a rule: Riot and Ghost are brothers, but Killian and Soren are allowed to fight. We don’t always follow that rule, but we did last night, so I ignore Director.
“Why are we here? I have to get back to Misfit Hall before they start wondering where I am.” I shift from foot to foot, agitated and sore from being strangled and paralyzed. My fingers ache from playing violin for so long, the calluses more tender than my ego. He might think he won, but it won’t happen a second time.
Director sighs, knowing something is going on, but he chooses not to press it for now. “Sit down, boys. We’ve got news from Axel.”
Kyd’s smile widens, and like the little shit he is, he steps right in front of Director at the head of the table. He slams his palms down, terribly imitating Director. “Boys!” he shouts, trying to be stern. “My boyfriend is batshit crazy with a lazy eyelid and a big dick. When I got that tarot card reading last year, I knew he was gonna show up. And guess what?!” He looks at us all expectantly as we sit down. “Nine inches.” He holds his hands out, measuring about fourteen inches.
“Bullshit.” I snort. “He’s too skinny to have a nine-inch cock.”
“He ain’t skinny, bud. He’s a man with stripes, and I can’t wait to hunt him like a lion.”
There’s a pause around the table, and Director sighs yet again, knowing what’s coming. Our favourite guessing game.
“Twenty bucks,” Menace says. “The nickname will be Gazelle.”
“Forty says it’ll be Simba,” Riot guesses.
“Fifty says it’s Lioness.” Seven laughs. “He’ll wanna make Axel part of his pride.”
“What’s a lion’s biggest prey?” Glitch asks. “It’ll be that.”
“Zebra,” I say. “A hundred bucks.”
“Two hundred says he nicknames the nickname,” Ransom says as he sits. “If it’s Zebra, it’ll turn into Z.”
“Zeebs.” Facts places his bet. “Hello, three hundred dollars.”
It’s become fun to bet on what Kyd will call everyone. None of us saw bestie coming when Remi showed up, but Kyd claimed him, so it stuck. Krypt doesn’t like it, but he hasn’t said shit about it because Director sat him down and had a talk about how Remi needs friends. Krypt didn’t like that either.
“Alright, sit the hell down, lover boy,” Director says to Kyd, shoving him out of the way. “I told you not to sleep with the doctor.”
“I haven’t!” Kyd climbs onto the table, walking across it with his fingers up in the air, a scout’s honour. “I promise, pops! I only know how big his dick is because he wears tight fancy pants. Mmmm.”
“Don’t call me that. Sit your crazy ass down.”
Kyd does a flip off the table, barely executes the landing, and plops down in a chair. His outfit is pastels today, and his hair is freshly dyed a baby pink that makes his pale blue eyes stand out. Pretty sure he’s wearing baby pink lip gloss too, because his smile is sparkly.So are his teeth.
I lean back in my chair and wait for this bullshit to be over. I love Vile House, and I don’t even mind Director despite how often he bosses me around, but I hate meetings. My brain wasn’t built for meetings. I’m a doer, not a thinker.
“Before we start. Riot, you’re owed by Willow Olenna?”
“Oh, I’ll collect.”
“Good. No more unnecessary deaths, got it?” He nods, moving on before Riot confirms. “Axel thinks Reaper Corp has a contact in Moros. Someone is feeding them information.” Director looks right at me like I’m about to be the star of the show. About time.
“Yates, I’m guessing?” I lean forward.
“Axel thinks so.”
Yates is the current leader of The Misfits. He’s a filthy, pompous douchebag who inhales more cigarette smoke than air, relies on his younger crew members to do the dirty work, and is too fucking stupid to see how fucking stupid his son is. The Misfits used to bring a ton of importance to Moros, but since Yates took over, they’ve gone downhill, especially because his son is second in command. Being a member of their gang as my real name and having Moros know I’m one of them is goddamn embarrassing. I don’t do well with embarrassment.
“Dr. Graves is a smarty-pants, so I’d trust him. Plus, I’ve been creeping on his brain doctor research,” Kyd says. Director gives us all a pointed look, maybe trying to convey that we can’t fully trust Axel, but no one asks, so neither do I.
“Why not just kill Yates and be done with it?” Krypt asks.
“Hello,” Facts cuts in. “Because if we control Yates, we control the narrative.”
“Exactly,” Director agrees. “But first, we need to plant some devices and get some proof.”
“Get Kyd’s boyfriend to plant one of his mind chip things in his head and start brainwashing him,” Riot suggests. “Then we control everything. Even The Misfits.”
“Get me close enough so we can,” Director says to Riot. “Yates has asked for a Vile House contact, and I need you to be it. Create some chaos, Riot. I want his crew questioning him. Time they get new leadership.”
Riot lifts a brow. “You have someone in mind?”
“I do,” Director says, but he doesn’t tell us who. Pretty sure I already know, though. “Ghost, I need you there. Eyes on Yates. You need to report everything going on, and if you can’t get devices planted in Misfit Hall, you need to be the device. Listen, learn, get intel, figure out who he’s in contact with and how they knew to contact him. Got it?”
Whatever. Easy. I nod.
“There’s a catch.”
Of fucking course there is. I hate being in their gang, and I’m the one who always has to pay for their fuckups.
“Riot’s going to build you credit within the gang.” Oh, fuck, my blood heats to ungodly temperatures. “He’s going to demand you’re there at the meeting.”
“ The fuck?! Why?” I stand while Riot grins.
“Because it’ll piss off Yates, earn you status, get you in good with the rest of the crew so that when we flip their leadership and eventually team with The Misfits in this fight against Reaper Corp, you’ll be our bridge. Suffer now and prosper later, Ghost. Problem?”
Major fucking problem, but I keep my mouth shut, ignore Riot, and leave the room. Always the same.
Suffer now, Ghost. Buckle under, Ghost. Take the heat, Ghost.
Yeah, fuck that. I’m at my wit’s end with being the punching bag around here. I’m the biggest asset Vile House has, and fuck Director for using it and then denying me any of the glory. I’ll be his ghost, but outside of my jobs, I refuse to be subtle any longer.
I climb the stairs and march down the hall, banging my fist on Krypt’s door. I try the handle, but it’s locked, and it grates on my already frayed nerves to be denied access to yet another thing.
“Remi!”
He unlocks the door and yanks it open. “What’s wrong?” he asks, seeing the frustration written all over my face. I bury it.
Everything is wrong. Nothing is wrong. It’s the same feeling I always have. Complete rage and confusion over something that doesn’t make itself clear. I’m pissed off about being in The Misfits while everyone else here gets to shine as a Vile Boy. I’m jealous and envious of their fame while I lurk in the shadows. I’m even mad that Remi is so settled, so broken but whole because of the way Krypt made him see himself.
I’m broken… Why can’t I be whole like he is? Why does no one want to fix me?
Because I’m not fucking broken! Not on the outside. My illusion is strong, and until the day I die, I’ll make sure it stays intact.
“Selena is at home. Let’s go check on her and Mom.” When he hesitates, I growl at him. “Grow a fucking backbone, Remi. You don’t need his permission to leave.” I walk away.
“Soren, wait.”
“Ghost,” I snap, not waiting for him to lock Krypt’s door.
There was a time when Remi relied on me, turned to me, and trusted me for everything. He used to look up to me, and together, we set our minds on fighting this curse and beating it side by side. He never knew I was actively taunting it, but I was in his corner. I was in his corner so hard that I herded him to Vile House that night Malone stalked him through the streets of Moros. He thought I was out to kill him to end the curse, but I wanted him to come here for protection. I just hadn’t anticipated Krypt jumping on his bargain before I could.
But now he has Krypt… and I don’t know how to feel about not being needed. I don’t want the burden, I just want to be important. I am important and I want everyone to know how much.
Remi follows me down the stairs, silent, but emitting energy like he wants to say something. “I heard… I heard you play last night.”
“You asking me something?” I head towards the basement to access the tunnels.
“No. I don’t know. Are you okay?”
“Remiel!” Krypt shouts, storming towards us. Remi stops. Krypt grabs my brother by his tattooed throat, looks him straight in the eye, and lets all his monsters shine. How dare Remi move without telling Krypt . Fucking pathetic.
I roll my eyes and keep moving, only to be stopped at the entrance to the basement stairs by the fucking prick who is apparently going to ‘build me credit’ in my own gang. Yet another kick to the nuts.
I open my mouth, ready to rip into him, but he talks over me. “You never know when to shut your mouth, do you, sweetheart?”
“What’d I say if you called me that again?” I push past him, once again thriving now that he’s here to rile me—that perfect coupling of desire and despair.
“Didn’t say shit, actually. Started the threat and never finished it.” He follows me down the stairs. “You ready for tonight?”
I spin and grab him by the throat, pressing him back until his head clacks off the wall of the stairwell. I crowd him, my chest against his hard pecs, his abs shifting against mine.
“So twitchy to get your hands on me again?” he asks while suffocating.
“Listen, asshole. I don’t need you to build me credit with The Misfits. Tonight will go off without a hitch because I’ll make it go off without a hitch. You’re there to deal with Yates. Not me. Got it?”
He only grins, his grey eyes full of unspoken taunts.
“Don’t blow my fucking cover.” I slam him back and shout, “Remi! Let’s go!”
* * *
I stare at Remi’s arms while Mom makes lunch for the three of us. I don’t trust her, but she’s still alive, and Axel isn’t controlling her anymore. She’s still a zombie, but part of me thinks it’s an act. She’s up to something, and the amount of times she’s asked me where Gregory Malone is sets off alarm bells in my mind. Why does she think I’d know?
“You two are fucking stupid for that.” I nod at Remi’s wrists. “Moros knows you’re with Keegan, and if they see your wrists, they’ll figure out who he is. You’ll have to wear long sleeves forever.”
Remi pulls his sleeves down to cover the tattoos and stares at Mom. “At least his mark is better than hers.”
True, I guess. Krypt’s brands are better than the slice Mom left on his wrist because he did them to save my brother, and Mom did them to harm him. I’ll have to work my way past Kyd to confront the fuck out of Axel Graves for making her do that to Remi.
“How’s she been?” Remi asks Selena.
She’ll be finished with school in a few months, and now that she’s initiating with Vile House, I doubt she’ll go back for the next semester. Remi is safe under Krypt’s watchful obsession, and she’s never worried about me as much, so there’s no point in killing herself studying psychology for our curse anymore.
“The same. Mostly absent but has lucid moments. Always asks about Malone or Graves.”
Both of which are at the asylum—Axel as a scientist and Malone as a lab rat.
“What’re we doing with her?” Selena asks, looking at both of us. “I say we just back off and let her be.”
“You shouldn’t stay here. Stay at Vile House or the Hallows’ place. Anywhere but here.” I look at my sister, proud of her for how she’s been doing. “You still have months before you level up, but you can stay in the lower-ranking rooms.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She waves me off. “Again, I ask, what are we doing with her?”
“Back off and let her be,” Remi agrees with Selena. “Even if she gets her mind back, something isn’t right with her.”
Yeah, she’s too focused on Gregory Malone. Krypt knows something, but he hasn’t told me what, and I’m getting real sick of his shit lately. Fucker is too obsessed with my brother. I once threatened him that if he raped my brother, I’d rape his…
Maybe it’s time to make good on that promise.